Dreams where ive killed someone

I know this isnt an unheard of dream but I semi frequently maybe once a year sometimes a few times sometimes just once I will have a dream where its a real memory I had, somewhere I really was once etc. but in the dream ive killed someone. It rarely happens in the dream, the dream is always the aftermath. Like last night I was coming back from a camping trip with friends and a bunch of our bags spilled on the side of the road, some ranger was like halt! Theres been a murder I need to inspect your bags. In that moment in the dream il remember that I killed someone and start thinking "but I cleaned the bag right surely I cleaned the bag I transported his chopped up body parts in". The ranger looks in my bag and there is some bloodstains and a blood soaked facemask but I either came up with a reason or it wasnt enough blood to make sense and hes suspicious but moves on. Fairly standard, the feeling is always guilt and fear of being caught, and that is something I used to struggle with a lot. And in fact im not positive but these dreams I think do happen around when maybe im doing something I shouldnt. Maybe im secretly using some drug, maybe I had an interaction with somebody I wished I didnt and feel guilty about talking to them about so much, maybe I havent told my mom about some change in my life she would want to know about. But all my dreams are like that, they always evoke some contemporary feeling for me and its pretty straightforward what its about and sometimes even what I have to do. I might have a dream about a great longing and sadness and joy about reconnecting with someone I lost touch with and its clear my brains trying to tell me its making me sad even if I try to push that feeling down. So maybe same here I feel a guilt about something that I really shouldnt feel guilty about, but I do anyways, and my dream wants to evoke that. However one, why murder and two only with this specific murder dream and one other type of dream I wake up for a moment convinced it really happened. One time this lasted for a week until I finally remembered a detail about this false dream memory that just could not have happened in real life. Even still thinking about it I know these dreams arent real but I get this twinge of like "what if I suppressed it why are the feelings so real". Another time I woke up and immediately started drafting a message to someone I trusted about "what id done" before snapping out of it. Im not trying to direct this anywhere I factually have not killed anyone, or il be able to say that in like a week its funny always in the days following the dream even though I know I could not have killed someone like the dream wont make sense all the way it somehow will feel like I did though. I dont feel like I feel guilt exceptionally stronger than other emotions but maybe I do and thats why? Im not sure. I guess im just curious why this specific dream when i have many about other real life feelings or emotions and circumstances will be so convincing il think it was an actual memory not just for a moment but sometimes for days. Its also always been a fascination for me in movies and shows and art, not murder but the moment a character sort of realizes they have done some ireedemable bad and cant undo it or go back and have maybe even ruined their life. I dont sympathize with them and whatever they have done but I strongly empathize with the panic guilt disgust and fear. This may be because of the dreams though ive had them since I was a kid.

no one cares about my STUPID GAY ASS DREAM fuarrrk! fuarrrk! fuarrrk! imagine im hitting myself in the head over and over snd saying stupid stupid stupid

>>8117 aren't you taking it a bit too personally? there seems to be very little going on here in general. my mundane guess about the dream is that it does reflect a suppressed memory/guilt about doing something "irredeemably bad". doesn't have to be actual murder, obviously. maybe it just happened at an early point in your life. maybe back then it seemed like the worst thing in the world - something comparable to murder, but only in a child's mind. since the adult mind can't connect the actual deed with that level of unprocessed guilt, it's symbolized by murder in the dream. maybe you were mad at someone, wished that they would die, and then they did. maybe you played doctor with an unwilling patient when you were 5. who knows? only you can figure it out

OP, When reading your post, as first I believed this is just the standard case of feeling guilty about irl things you did, which you admitted, but the degree to which you've been emotionally disturbed by them makes me believe that this is pushing you to the point of seeing your own "shadow ego", or whatever you wanna call it. The part of your self that is capable of any and all imaginable evils, which all humans keep inside of them. You are beginning to see that even though these are just visions of guilt, in fact they have become reflection of your true darkness that lives inside you, and instinctively you know this to be true, which is why you've reached the point that you sometimes can't distinguish between the socially-accepted socially-conditioned "you" from the "you" that you're now discovering within. I try to refrain from giving advice because usually people don't want it, but hopefully this at least helps you understand it.