(untitled)

I am in lot of stress lately because of my first programming job where lot is going wrong. For example this friday was remote, i found some bug in app, and after hour i thought its solved but actually i forgot about something, after few hours i realised solution if bit more harder and ambigous so i wasted entire day instead of one hour, and my "clever solution" was pretty meaningless, and 10 minutes solution i knew at first but was less efficient would actually fit more in this particular case. Anyway at end of day i had solution but i wanted to read about some detail to be sure, so i laid down and read some, but it was late so i fell asleep laying in my bed in full clothes (i get it a lot these fridays). It was maybe 2AM when i woke up in feeling of powerfull but unexplainable fright. I had some sort of shallow, weird dream where i imagined every person in the world is me, and there are multiple "me" in the room, and when i sleep its actually my clone's dream or something. Soon after i woke up this dream was my reality and i felt horrible fear. My heart was pounding, thoughts racing through my head, i wanted to scream for mum to help me, i really thought i am losing my mind. Anyway i finally managed to calm down laying in my bed and i fall asleep with no further nuissance. Anyone has similiar experience and could say what it was? I hope it will not happen through the day. I always was nervous but even more so lately, i really feel no one cares about me except my mother, but she has own woes herself and is miserable as well

Seems like you're suffering from sleep paralysis induced by work stress or something related lainon. Try to talk with your boss about it so that he can give you some room to take it easy, you're much more likely to do a poor job if you're stressed anyway. Since I don't have a job I can't give you many tips other than that learning programming is very much a marathon and not a sprint. It's also a marathon that never ends, and that's why it's pointless to sprint.

>>4733 i cant say this to him, because he will never tell truth. If i ask him if i can leave work earlier that day or go to holliday he will say "sure why not" and he will tell me there is nothing wrong and everything fine, but a minute after he will discuss how unproductive i am with guy next room and they will insult me and laugh at me and i will hear everything and it will cause anxiety in me. I just cant trust him, as well as he cant trust me (because of my incompetence). I dont think it was sleep paralysis as i would not be able to move, but i was able to wash my teeth somehow even though heart raced and i felt terrible

>>4734 >I just cant trust him, as well as he cant trust me Sorry man, if this is the underlying problem you're gonna have to find a different job. People making fun of you for admitting your weaknesses are the biggest assholes in existence but it's worth trying before making an assumption about him. Picking the right job isn't just about the best salary, you should feel at ease and enjoy the thing you're doing. I'd recommend you to ask him for a different position or just quit altogether and find something better even if it won't be easy. You already have experience after all.