Am I lonely?

This might sound like a stupid dream and I'm somewhat embarrassed to talk about it, but here it is. There's a Twitch streamer I occasionally watch who I find attractive. I've had thoughts about how it would make me happy if she was my girlfriend. I'm not in any way obsessed with her though like a creepy stalker-type. I simply like her and that's the extent of it. Obviously we would never be in a relationship and I accept that and am I'm completely fine with it. I mean she doesn't even know I exist and we don't even live in the same country. Even if we did live nearby, I wouldn't attempt to meet her because it would be weird and probably creep her out. Anyway, I had a dream that she was visiting the U.S. and wanted to stay at my place. Apparently we were friends or something. I didn't have anywhere she could sleep, so I offered to let her sleep in my bed while I sleep on the floor. I guess she didn't want me sleeping on the floor and said she was fine with us sharing the bed. We were both fully clothed and there was nothing sexual about it. We simply slept in the same bed and that was it. She flew back to her country the next day and I got pretty depressed. I guess I felt a really strong connection to her after sleeping together in the same bed. I had a feeling of closeness with her that I didn't previously have. Almost like I loved her, but I'm not sure whether it was actually love or not. Regardless, it got me thinking that maybe I'm lonely and don't realize it. I'm not in a relationship and my only friend lives in another state. I've visited her once back when we were dating, but I haven't seen her irl since. I never really get feelings of loneliness. I'm pretty content with being alone. I mean I've been a loner pretty much all my life, so it's something I'm used to and accept. Even though I don't think I feel lonely, maybe the subconscious part of my mind is trying to tell me something. That I actually am lonely, but won't acknowledge it. I'm not sure what to do with these feelings, but I thought I'd share with you guys. If you got through this long wall-of-text, I thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm open to hearing what you guys think. Maybe you have some insights that could help me better understand my dream.

She only acts like the way she acts on twitch to get lonely asses like you to give her money.

>>2511 I'm a loner just like you, it never bothered me being this way, but two weeks ago, on a friday, something hit me, I felt the need to talk to someone. On that friday I drank all the beer I was planning to drink on the weekend, then I looked online for this girl I know, found her IG, made an account and messaged her. Then she called me and we spoke for 6 hours straight. I was completely drunk, sure. But it made me feel so fuarrrking good, I just can't describe it. The next day, saturday, we met, we talked a lot more and I found out that she's more or less of a loner too. She became a friend, someone I can talk to, and I feel I'm becoming a better person.

OP, in my opinion you're lonely. Most people are these days. I've had some of the same little imaginary milleus, and I think it's definitely a sign of wanting to mentally construct a world that you'd rather be in. It ѕuсkѕ but in a bitter-sweet way. Forgot my pic related when I first posted this—if you get this fantasy, you're hella lonely sorry. >>2512 You're missing the point. He's using her as a parable to explore an inwardly-focused question: am I lonely or am I comfortable in solitude? Everyone knows the camgirls are just doing a job. Not really about her. >>2513 That's great, I'm happy for you. Sometimes it's really just a lack of simple initiative. Sometimes trying something deceptively simple can make big strides in getting over it. But in the same vein, don't let quick strides that don't ultimately work out make you disillusioned. I'm not trying to say that'll happen to you, but the moral of the story is that it's easier than you think to keep trying, not that it always goes wrong. I think. I dunno I'm rambling.

>>2512 OP said literally nothing about who the streamer is or how she acts on twitch

>>2511 These sorts of dreams tend to hurt the most. They give you a taste of what you're missing out on. It's like (but not nearly as upsetting as) dreams where you catch up with dead relatives. A few nights ago I had a dream that, through a series of weird circumstances, I ended up on a date with a JAV actress I think is cute. Sure it was nice when she held my arm, but it was really nice that someone was giving me the time of day.

>>2511 This sounds like longing for someone or a fantasy of yours. Nothing wrong with it, but you need to make sure it does not evolve into a one-sided unhealthy infatuation. Sometimes you might ahve more or fewer of these types of dreams depending on your interaction with women. I am consciously a loner by choice, so while I enjoy the dreams when they spontaneously happen, I do not desire to daydream or linger on them. You know you like her, even if the mechanism for connection has been falsely associated with her online persona your computer screen and not an actual human being. The same thing can happen with random meetings and short conversations. This happened when I helped a girl at my uni get into her car when it was covered in snow and frozen shut. I had a friendly conversation and she told me her name and asked me about myself, but I was on my way somewhere important, so I did not spend much time there. She was very pretty and seemed very nice too, and she had a pretty sounding name that I can no longer remember (not that it was important). Other times I dreamed about a girl I barely knew was when I used to regularly see the same cashier at the store I may be a little autistic for this, but I would always go to her line just to say hello and also because she was very pleasant to be around One thing I have learned is that you can't get caught up with who you want someone to be if there is no reason you could realistically ever be with that person. Is it lonely? perhaps... but there is a difference from being lonely and alone. I think that are looking for a "belongingness" which is not particularly an indication of being lonely, but the two do correlate. Try talking to strangers, especially in retail when business is slow and people have very little going on, since there is no adverse effect. You have a reasonable excuse to start conversations because you can inquire about a product, then ask people about themselves (have you used it? Do you like it? what make you want to try it? does it look good? and then go from there- is this your favorite, what do you like, what color/style do you prefer etc.). People love to be appreciated just as much as you do. The same goes for restaurants, when asked what you want to order, ask about what they like or would recommend. Be careful, because the more people you are exposed to, the more you can retreat into a fantasy world in your dreams where fantasy versions of all the people you interact with will play a role in your imaginary life. If you think you might be lonely and want to change, interact with others unless you are happy just imagining interaction in your dreams.

>>2511 You see to suffre from touch starvation.