Maybe I’m not so lost after all.

Today I went out with a woman for the first time in about 6 years and it was incredible. Feeling comfortable around someone is rare for me; usually, I feel detached from reality and don’t feel any connection at all, and maintaining eye contact with someone makes me extremely uncomfortable — but not with her. We walked a bit in the park, had some drinks and snacks, sat on the grass talking while I sketched. She’s so attentive, she listened to everything I said just as I did with everything she told me. There wasn’t a single moment of that awkward silence, unlike other dates I’ve had. If you find yourself in the same situation I was in, hopeless about your love life, I have some advice: Treat everyone with kindness and affection, be gentle and empathetic. Even after being mistreated by countless people, I never let myself be swayed by incel narratives or by ideas that objectify women and treat them like garbage. Even if your self-esteem isn’t great and you don’t see yourself as attractive, you need to know that the right person will never look at your exterior before understanding your interior. Be yourself and respect others, and I’m sure your time will come. A hug, and take care of your mental health.

My partner she was also on the grass, very attentive, always turns her head to ask how I am, and I hold her hand; she doesn’t move away. She loves hunting, hunts her prey, tears at their knaves, and also loves touching me always wanting to pat my head, at times she becomes randomly becoming erratic. But I feed her from my hands, look her deep in the eyes, and I know she loves me too. I’ve never felt so in love with a single creature as her before.

I agree with the don't treat women like soykaf advice. Stupid boys don't realize that the same trickster that made feminism, made the soykaf they think is the solution to it. It's not the solution, it's the other face of ths same coin. It's fhe most evolutionary counterproductive soykaf imaginable to treat our own people's opposite sex as enemy.

>>47262 True true. Keep in mind that a significant number of women are vengeful, mentally ill or both. Learn what she thinks about her exes. Meet her friends and get an idea about who she hangs out with. This will let you know what kind of person you are dealing with. Women are pretty good at masking so be on the look out. When you get a whiff of any mental illness bail the fuarrrk out. If things don't work out don't let either her or her friends know you are now seeing other women.

>>47263 Agree mostly, but >When you get a whiff of any mental illness bail the fuarrrk out. If t This wouldn't be fair imo. I have some non-negligible mental illness that requires acceptance from whoever would be my girlfriend, so me not accepting any kind of mental illness would be asymmetrical and not fair. I usually think in terms of compatibility. Some mental illnesses are compatible with mine and some are not, and i'm talking about individual differences, not just categories. For example, some BPD women, who are going under therapy and treatment, and has an introversive and kind personality, are compatible with me, and with a large amount of acceptance and kindness, and firmly setting my boundaries, a relationship could work. While some other BPD women are just like poison and would traumatize me, because of their personality, the individual specifics of her disorder, and the status or her treatment or lack thereof. There is no psychiatric diagnosis "F666 Evilness", but there are personalities who think and do evil things, regardless of mental illness. I know it's always a risk to be in contact with mentally ill people, but my girlfriend would have to take that risk too, if she would go out with me. That's just my little humble opinion.

>>47264 That's fair if you never had to deal with a person that left you with no choice but to skip town or commit murder.

I’ve never been on a date and I’ve only heard of a classmate talking about it once. Is it a thing people still do? I’m in my 30s now and I’ve more or less given up on finding a partner. I was way too anxious as a teen and now I am way too busy. Incel soykaf is stupid. Incels want to be incels. They enjoy self-victimizing. Stay away from those freaks.

>>47264 Not true because your not a woman so your not as dangerous if crazy

>Feeling comfortable around someone is rare for me That's what I'm seeking nowadays. Wish you the best, OP.

she's a spy she wants to poison you she's pretending to like you people feel more comfortable around sociopaths

I'm at a post inceldom moment of my life, I no longer feel any need for intimacy or love, after years of neglect and mockery I've ended up into some sort of asexual state. I jerk off about once a month and I really don't think it'll change any time soon. I'm truly one shell of a man

>>47277 It's time. Clear out your evening and read these in sequence. https://incels.wiki/w/Blackpill https://incels.wiki/w/Whitepill https://www.lesswrong.com/highlights

>>47277 I'm in college and same. Just going through the motions of social clubs not really getting anywhere. I don't really care I just want to make my money, build my future, have some interactions throughout the weekish and that's it. Modern Dating is so fake and manipulative it disgusts me.

>>47279 I have similar plans, I've given up on relations as mentioned in my post but I'm currently on my way to get a Masters in mathematics and then hopefully get a PhD in applied math. My meaning in life is to become at least a familiar figure in mathematical physics. I might have came off as pessimistic in my post but I'm not as upset as I sounded, relations aren't too important for me and I'm not going to try and seek out one, but if I end up in one by pure chance then I'm not going to reject it. >>47278 I used to hang out on /r9k/ so I'm familiar with all of these terms, my mental health increased drastically after leaving these soykafholes so I'm definitely not planning to even click on those links. Most of the blackpill wouldn't even apply to me since I'm at least on the higher end of average in terms of looks.

>>47281 That's great but those links are there to inform and reform and make you understand the true nature of your condition not to make you depressed. Lesswrong has nothing to do with incel movement either it's a rationalist website with lots of AI research. You would know if you actually read them. https://incels.wiki/w/Scientific_Blackpill <- this is pure suicide fuel but it is also very informative

>>47260 Good for you but I think you're being a bit hasty making judgements and telling people what they need to do.

>>47282 To expand on this, first we need to define what incel is. Incel Personality Disorder (IPD) is a compound symptom of autistic spectrum disorder, schizoid personality disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, neuroticism, body dysmorphic disorder, and social communication disorder, as described in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Revision 5 (DSM-5). Each of the aforementioned disorders exist on a spectrum, and as being a compound symptom of these disorders, IPD also exists on a spectrum. The binary definition of Incel as sensationalized and weaponized by the media can be safely ignored. The existence of IPD cannot be denied, as that is akin to denying existing and well established mental disorders that underpin the Incel condition. A systematic denial deprives Incels from identifying the root causes of their condition, and seeking for interventions and help. Consequently, the change starts when we start to dissect and understand the conditions that give rise to IPD individuals, which are explored in depth in Scientific Blackpill. This, by out of necessity, precedes the implementation of solutions tailored to each individual's case. An Incel can be characterized as a person who has been, either explicitly or implicitly, ostracized, excluded, neglected and mocked throughout their lives for reasons that are mostly out of his control, and has very restricted or non-existent social connections with other people. What is interesting about the conversation around Incels is that the blame is often completely pinned on the IPD individual, with claims that this is a self inflicted condition the Incel has imposed on himself. While this might be somewhat true for the low functioning Incels because they often refuse all help, it is not true for majority of Incels for aforementioned reasons. Generalizing the IPD condition this way can be linked to Just World Fallacy - a belief held by people who were fortunate enough to be never have been systematically prosecuted throughout their lives and therefore cannot or are not willing to understand the Incel condition for one reason or another. What is important and relevant for IPD individuals is not persuading anyone about their condition (which is akin to a mental disability in any other context) or pleading for sympathy that will never come, but rather applying individually customized interventions that will lessen the symptoms of IPD. These interventions can be grouped into a surprisingly small set of categories: mannerisms, self-care, fashion taste, physical exercise, diet and social skills. Additionally, reading The Sequences by Eliezer Yudkowsky and seeking help from psychiatric professionals can help reshape the mindset. By systemically and persistently applying interventions relevant to each of these categories, over several months and years, a low functioning IPD individual can significantly improve his standing in society, in his career, and in relationships with both men and women. These developments signify the transition into high functioning IPD, which over time will dissolve into blunted forms of its constituent symptoms.

you're right OP. incel narratives have always made me uncomfortable because they frame sex as some kind of life achievement rather than a fun thing can people do sometimes. this is the way i thought about sex in college, and it wasn't something i really had to put effort into getting. i actually got in my head about getting sexual attention assuming that i had developed a persona to escape loneliness and that it wasn't the "real me". this was obviously delusional, the reality is that its not something worth overthinking, you don't even have to have perfect demeanor anyway which i think is why incels, PUA, and redpills exist in the first place - insecure people get a modicum of what they're looking for and attach and rationalize around the moderately random set of behaviors they were doing at the time. they attach, pessimistically, to the fact that many people get what they want by manipulating others and assume that the random set of behaviors in question has some underlying, manipulative purpose that they must replicate. the reality is that some people get what they want by manipulating and others get what they want by being honest, this starts when you are very young so getting meta about it is basically only a setback to doing what comes naturally. >Treat everyone with kindness and affection, be gentle and empathetic > Be yourself and respect others, and I’m sure your time will come this is the way. being kind, affectionate, gentle and empathetic is a reward unto itself and in fact you can be a serial monogamist who hasn't been single since you were 16 (like some people i know) having a deeply insecure, shallow and painful existence because you don't know how to live with yourself and your own behavior. I'm talking about people who live as if they were incels, even though they have partners. the ultimate "blackpill" i think is that if you live in line with incel ideology this will be you, whether you date someone or not. >>47284 you are quite literally just saying words. in terms of internet archeology this is interesting in that it basically reads as a replication of the kind of behavior that many men seem to project onto women online: creating a long, symptomatic profile of victimhood often involving medical self-diagnosis and unfalsifiable rationalizations, micro identities, bizarre psycho logic that doesn't really say anything besides a self-report of your own blind spots. what you fail to consider is that this behavior is itself symptomatic of a greater social tendency towards individual and bodily policement, self-policing and indexing within interpersonal typology that functions as a poor replacement for a sense of community. you are afraid that your ability to communicate is poor so you internalize the way this content communicates, which tends to involve long, meaningless chains of reasoning and rhetoric such as you have demonstrated in >>47282 : here you attempt to portray the "science" as neutrally informative before immediately presenting a work as "pure suicide fuel". i think the reality is that you are a morbid person who enjoys reading this stuff because its negative and pathetic, not even necessarily as a form of personal catharsis (although it is present) because distancing yourself from it in a supposedly neutral dimension seems to give you some kind of thrill. rather for a myriad of reasons that you can do better to unpack for yourself than i can really tell you. you want to be part of something larger, and the reality is that you don't need yudkowsky's sequences or incel wiki to do so - they are merely evidence that communities and the things you value, writing, dialogue exist somewhere and it gives you the impression of life. there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, except for that you seem to be unreceptive to others' happiness and the satisfaction they get out of their current state of being. you come into this thread assuming you know better than OP and that you can open our eyes to the world beyond. what you fail to consider is that we might all, already be very used to hearing about this stuff and very sick of it, furthermore positively invested in something else.

>>47285 That's funny because I didn't have to resort to creating strawmen to make my case, and every argument I have made is based on academic research and long established norms around human psychology. What's the point of your post? What gave you the impression that throwing around a bunch of meaningless, directionless, irrelevant word salad would make your case more compelling?

>>47285 I'd agree with you if you didn't treat sex as a casual thing. I'm not an incel but I've felt a deep physical and emotional bond with all the partners I've had and I think that's the way we function. I mean this even with those I didn't find that attractive, I wanted to look after them and can't deny it hurt when they slept with someone else. treating a divine act as something so casual always sat wrong with me, when I love I do it fully and can't stand people that think differently or understand how they come to treat it this lightly