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Is it normal to have thoughts/imaginative scenarios of suicide or self-harm. I know it sounds bad, but I never intend to act on them. Recently I dreamed of suicide. I went through the entire processes. Felt the chocking, the slow fade into death and then saw the reactions of my family and friends. I felt really horrible after that. I think they are normal because I can't control where my mind wonders and ever since I knew my mind it has wondered into the fantastic and absurd. Whenever, I search up "suicidal thoughts", everyone treats it seriously. I don't. Do other lainons have similar scenarios/thoughts? Is it actually normal or should I seek help?

yes its actually pretty common you sick fuarrrk

Yeah man, it just happens. It's called intrusive thoughts. Just let it flow through and don't dwell on it too much because it's useless information.

>>47185 suicidal thoughts are only concerning if they're accompanied by a strong desire to act on them. not just the desire to disappear, everyone wants that at some point in their lives. even going through the steps in your head is normal depending on the type of person you are. some brains are wired to automatically work out solutions to made up scenarios. people with those brains are called problem solvers, and if you like computers (i assume you do since you're here), there's a good chance this describes you. dont worry about it until you're feeling the despair, pressing the knife against your skin, buying the gun, tying the noose, pouring out a few extra pills or grabbing the bleach. active brains crave death every now and then. craving it for days on end is when you should start seeking therapy or finding a new hobby.

I cried myself to sleep again last night. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my life and where I am. I made friends, but none of them are deep connections. I picked up hobbies, but I'm not committed to any of them. I advanced my life, but none of it was my effort - only stupid luck. I am good at my field, but not the best. I can make conversation, but not sustain it. My interests are off-putting to most people. People around me are slowly pulling ahead. They have jobs, industry connections, partners, cars. In the meanwhile I've never even held the hands of the opposite sex and I doubt anyone would be interested in me. I constantly fail to put in consistent effort into anything. Ultimately, I am not an interesting person. The only thing that sets me apart is that I believe myself to be intelligent (as a child I got a diagnosed IQ of 130 and aced all STEM exams without much study). The grades that got me into my university were the result of a week of lax re-reading of notes. So I decided. There is a competition coming up at my university in March. If I fail to get top 3, I will at least make an attempt at suicide. Maybe talk to a hotline, see if they can talk me out of it. If I can't prove myself on something I want to prove myself at, I am actually worthless. Strip away academic achievement and there isn't anything left of me.

Why did you end a question with a period instead of a question mark.

>>47529 bro, if you feel you need to kill yourself then I don't think you're that smart. maybe you're just acoustic those tests really just check how well you can be proompted as a white collar wagie and now even that avenue is drying up. there's not going to be someone telling you exactly what to do, let alone have your best interest at heart. so start thinking for yourself, dummy

>>47529 >I made friends, but none of them are deep connections >I've never even held the hands of the opposite sex and I doubt anyone would be interested in m >People around me are slowly pulling ahea Do you also feel like you've fallen out of the social flow? Like everyone is carried through life by some current, and by following it, they achieve connections and success, but it all somehow passes you by? What were your relationships with your peers like before and now? You said you don't consider yourself interesting, but do you consider others that way? How often have you shared their common interests?

Suicidal thoughts are comforting for me because they let me dream, where I no longer need to worry, because I can't worry. In a way, it's how some people keep on living, even if that sounds unintuitive, because ultimately it makes me feel in control. I find the thought of myself being dead in a ditch very comforting. I had a plan where I dig my own grave with a nice view, and set up a contraption that holds up dirt above that ditch, which should collapse under the weight of the dirt after some time. I planned to shoot myself in the head in my grave and give myself an automatic burial after some time. That makes me want to keep living, however paradoxical that sounds. I ultimately have a choice, and I have all the equipment I need. I think that answers your question if we had similar thoughts. No, I don't think any normal person have these mental processes.