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Why do people condition their happiness on a romantic relationship? When I say "people" I don't mean incels, but rather normal users. My father, who is single, thinks that going out with his girlfriend is "taking care of himself", even though he doesn't like that gold-digging whore and is constantly using dating apps. Today in the Uber, a very popular (and bad) song was playing on the radio in which the lyrical self sang in a sad tone comparing her relationship, full of fights, to the relationships of "other people", happy ones. Once again, it seems that the conditioning I described is taking place. Why is our society like this?

Look up the hormone Oxytocin. Human touch releases it and makes you feel good. You are build for it. And you can reason further from a natural selection point - Tail chasing is the norm because that leads to kids while hermits die out.

>Why do people condition their happiness on a romantic relationship? Love is a very powerful drug lainon. The intensity of its strength is what drives the species. Lest we wouldn't be here. Once you experience it once, you're going to want more of it. To put it simply, they're drug addicts.

Because often friends will leave less time for you once they are busy with their own family unless you live together which isnt the most likely scenario. Also it's nice the idea a single person can provide all you need. >>46290 Sort of. Oxytocin enhances what you already feel toward someone. If you feel bad about them it will make you hate them more. If you feel good it makes you love them more.

>>46287 >Why do people condition their happiness on a romantic relationship? This implies people have a choice in the matter, which they mostly don't. But being in a relationship can be fulfilling and generate happiness through all circumstances in an extraordinarily deep way. I wager this used to be more common before new ideas about divorce. But now, the lifelong vow of marriage is dissolvable at a whim; our culture feels it's acceptable to abandon others rather than work through interpersonal issues. Thus, we are where we are now. Deep attachment between people is stamped out of us. The fondness and affections people once held for their family make contemporary people cringe. The gestures people once did for each other would feel wrong or archaic now; the fondness one has for another gets mislabeled as 'co-dependency' or 'clinginess'. People date multiple people at a time. There is such a thing as a pure, deep love. Our society is so backwards that this is considered a myth, as if our ancestors were all in on this joke together. Like technology of yore, we've just forgotten it.

lol second image look like bawls

>>46293 have never once expeirenced it, yet crave it so much

>46319 Please don't. It makes everything complicated and can get you into some potentially unfavorable situations if it's with the wrong person.

I can't explain your father, but I like to think if I had kids of my own it would make life much more enjoyable. I'm pretty happy with myself already, and I'd still enjoy life if I didn't have a family. but I still strongly strongly prefer to have a wife and kids. these days that's considered crazy, I guess

>Why do people condition their happiness on a romantic relationship? Because romantic and familial love are the only socially acceptable forms of affection between men and women, and the only socially acceptable forms of affection for men.

>>46397 Are you saying that showing affection is a human need and that it's required for happiness?

if i could query a guess, its because we're all deeply alone, and in that loneliness there is darkness. this is based on conversations i had with boys when i was like, 12. that feeling of ecstasy when you meet someone who loves you and the feeling of security that comes with being in an "official" romantic relationship with them - that you have ready access to the source of those feelings, which are also intertwined with sexual curiosity or just wanting. >even though he doesn't like that gold-digging whore and is constantly using dating apps case in point. he probably calls her a gold-digging whore for the same sense of security, the idea that he can simply pay money for the gratification he's looking for. same with the dating apps. in this case your father seems like a particularly neurotic individual who must have constent discovery of new access points. he's not really looking for anything these women can offer. I had a friend I used to go to clubs with who would behave very similarly. she would take me to a sequence of events - usually several in one night - and ask to "look for men", a category which she seemingly had very high, possibly contradictory standards for. part of the reason, i feel, is because she had just gotten out of an abusive relationship with a man that began when she was a teenager, another part of the reason was that due to copious drug use she had a very poor memory, particularly around social details, and probably due to childhood trauma (her father raped her and then killed himself out of guilt). i got the feeling she did not have an especially strong sense of self, in that it did not seem to persist moment-to-moment. while on different combinations of drugs, she came out as bisexual several times. our relationship broke off due to volatility, but i still think about her, at times. anyways, what your dad and my friend both seem to share is a kind of neurotic dissatisfaction within the dating market that goes hand-in-hand with using it as a kind of ongoing activity. these people will make the thing they're supposedly looking for just out of reach to themselves so they can run on the eternal treadmill. neutrally speaking, you could even imagine it as a sort of trance-like state that you might enter into when e.g. playing a videogame while you think with some other part of your mind about other questions. i think this perhaps is why many people socialize in general. either way, it begs acceptance that there's a kind of satisfaction to be gained from maintaining this apparently fraught position: the security and access to sexual and romantic experiences mentioned earlier, the status validation of calling a woman a whore, etc. but also the comfort in where they are right now in life, a kind of comfort that disguises itself perhaps because they might have something else going on metabolically or psychologically that makes direct, conscious comfort impossible. in your father's case, it might simply be guilt for his own spiteful behavior, and a way of avoiding the transformation that actually addressing it could necessitate. >Once again, it seems that the conditioning I described is taking place. you should reread your post. you didn't describe any sort of conditioning in the first place. Anyways, i think you have it half right: music isn't forced on us, the proles, any more than it has been in the past, in fact i would say there's a lot more freedom in e.g. what you can listen to while driving. consumers have accumulated so much more freedom in that respect in the past 50 years that the critiques that sound borrowed from the time come across as antiquated and paranoid. the music is popular because it resonates with the listener, it is likely your dad listens to it as a form of catharsis. >in which the lyrical self sang in a sad tone comparing her relationship, full of fights, to the relationships of "other people", happy ones. you probably consider yourself very intelligent for picking up this theme. why do you think normal people listen to it? is it because they don't realize the underlying sinister message? or because they *do* realize it, and like it precisely because of the story it's telling them and the character it's building all in the song. from what youve told me, it seems very likely its the kind of song your dad likes because he sees the woman in the story as stupid and shallow, or because he sees himself as the woman. >Why is our society like this? because separation of familial, sexual, and social duties is economically efficient, something that isn't objectively necessary however becomes more necessary as society demands more. the cruel irony of course is that society demands more precisely because it consists of economical actors who like ourselves are trying to make ends meet. more directly, these social duties mandate that people can't connect like they once could have and can only really drift farther apart from each other. forming a family with someone is a kind of promise against that naturalized social drift, and comes with a kind of self-preserving anxiety that is very suspicious of change or new variables.

Last one was based,those yellow rice pickers deserved it

>>46422 Not him but this is what I am saying. We are made to fit into a group. We are made to have friend, IRL ones, male and female, we are made to have a romantic interest, we are made to interact with each other. Not having that won't kill us but we font get fulfillment. Something will be missing. >>46397 There is more than one form of affection. A gang of biker support each other.

Rice baboon will be hanged,oh yeah you will be hanged

Consider something you might enjoy, like, say, an apple. Place the apple in front of a mirror and appreciate the effect. Now place another mirror directly opposite the first, apple between them. This is the power of a union between experiencing minds, appreciation of the appreciation of the appreciation...of nice things like apples. The world "expands" for lovers when everything is "reflected" likewise.

Because happiness comes from achieving your finest finality and humans are meant for romantic relationships.

When I'm alone for long enough I begin to feel lonely, but then when I go out and try to talk to people, I hate it and remember why I'm alone. Am I just condemned to loneliness?

>>46287 because life seeks to reproduce, and all vertebrates reproduce sexually

We are instinctively wired to reproduce. Finding a compatible romantic partner is an optimization strategy and a means to create a stable environment to raise your offspring. If these needs are not met, the body will produce neurotransmitter signals that make you feel awful to nudge you to find a partner. This process can fail in multiple ways. Judging someone's attractiveness often takes less than 300 milliseconds for most people but inferring personality traits is a much more deliberate process and can take a long time (dates). It is the inefficiency of this second part that ruined most failed relationships. There is a whole world of hurt out there rife with violence, hatred, obsessiveness, and cheating. I don't claim to have the solution to these problems but all I can say is that some people can make you feel glad that you never married them.

What is Love? I am 21 years old, but what does that even mean anymore? Never had a girlfriend. I spoke in college to one, I bought her gifts went with her places, in the end she left me, stopped talking to me. She was in love with me but no longer was. Thats the only shot I had at love in this country. I have no friends. Happiest at work. To be on my own. Money from work isnt enough to do anything with. I buy old relics from the past which will just be confiscated in the future. I am under house arrest and continuous surveillance and this will increase in the future where we will work for rations, sent to a war where everyone annihilates one another through divide and conquer tactics. There is no love to be had there. Not until all the evil in the world is wiped out. At least the insects are far more alive then the humans are here. I dont get it. What do people even do? Where do they even meet? It just seems like the same old.. Shopping (these places are sterile and cameras are everywhere), no one even drinks anymore. They just stay indoors and work and rot. Its sad. I have god at least, I can believe things can get better but everything is too far gone without kicking in the door to the rotten structure.

>>47402 I met my girlfriend, or rather my girlfriend approached me in a bookstore and that's how we met. Sometimes the most unexpected thing happens.

>>47402 baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, no more xddddddddddddddd just do what u want bruh