i want to learn 'le epic hacking' but also i dont

this is probably the worst place to spew this since i bet it will attract a bunch of dismissive and rude freaks who will take the opportunity to say i deserve this all and should kms but whatever, i need to vent somewhere. i keep telling myself "im gona finally properly learn computers and actually learn how to start hacking and programming and tinkering with stuff - not just following some youtube tutorial or guide... but whenever i sit down to try a vulnbox or write basic script to do something or read a book, i just immediately get distracted or demotivated. i see something i dont understand or a certain step or procedure i struggle to replicate or follow or some problem i cant immediately figure out and my brain immediately goes "nope i give up. im too stupid and ill never get this done" i see someone talking about some super specific complex topic like something related to cryptography or some aspect of security and my brain goes "you suck. you dont know what they are saying, you dont do anything to learn or git gud and expect to get as successful and knowledgable and experienced as them? gfy, theres no hope for you" it makes me question whether i even have a chance getting better at all of this and whether its worth bothering to pursue in the first place. i keep asking myself "if i have no motivation to learn, what if i just dont care and this isnt for me?" which scares me because there is nothing else i find remotely interesting at all. and everyone i talk to about computers always tells me how smart and good i am at them. no idea if its them blowing smoke up my ass or them simply mistaking my surface level knowledge for wisdom and indepth understanding. when i speak to my shrink ill try to pressure them to consider this a higher priority that might be worth medicating for alongside the medication i currently do for other ailments but i feel like my brain is just completely rotten and incapable of actually getting anything done as it is. surely throwing in more drugs will fix the issue!! feels so hopeless sometimes. im trying to hang on, but it is like kicking dead whales down the beach and im tired. i do nothing and i burn out, i try nothing and i give up.

I think something you can do is to remember that you don't have to do these kinds of ctfs alone. Chat about it to a group if you find one. if something in the book you are reading don't peak your interest then just skip a few pages until you see something interesting or just throw the book all together and check another subject. And don't dismiss the idea of just following youtube tutorials and guides. It is still sharing knowledge that you'll one day come across again on another challenge and go "hey this scenario i'm in rings a bell..." ultimately, if nothing keeps you hooked, it is probably not your field. it is maybe a blessing if you were thinking of making that interest your job.

Everyone got trained adhd from sites like yt & other social media training you to frequently swap to new content without longterm dedication to a single task. So now brains used to constantly task flip chasing maximum hype. Personally started with no internet as a small kid and had good attention where i would read books in one go sitting in my room because i had literally no tech to play with. Nowadays with dual screen pc setup running yt or some other soykaf on 2nd screen i get tilted reading simple page . The brainrot is real. Working lazy solution is blocking possible distractions. Blocked doomscrolling sites on workstation and i go read books in park without phone so i cant task switch to something else. YT is still a trap cause i need guides sometimes but then get caught in the recommendations. The positive outlook is considering you train yourself into this position it also means you can train yourself out of it.

>>43282 My way to deal with YouTube's brainrot is to only look for what I need on some alternate storefront and hook the link through mpv with yt-dlp. I keep links to resourceful videos and playlists in an org file, and use RSS for the few channels I feel like following. Of course, if I couldn't do this (or watch the content on a site not designed to rot your brain for profit) I'd just stick to textbooks and reinventing the wheel. As it stands I already hate video as a way to acquire knowledge, ironically because it's not fast enough.

>>43282 >YT is still a trap cause i need guides sometimes but then get caught in the recommendations I'ma be real with you, if you are getting caught in the recommendations and tilted from reading a simple page, whatever you are doing is not interesting you. vent unrelated to OP's subject: Maybe i'm too old to have experienced brainrot side-effects despite being born in and molded by unrestricted acces to the internet, but i am starting to believe the brainrot scare/addiction is just a psyop. >>43283 >I already hate video as a way to acquire knowledge, ironically because it's not fast enough. Agreed. Either too much filler so I end up sifting thru the video by skipping thru it, or the teacher I am listening could speak a lil faster for me, so I speed up the video and rewind when needed. In either cases, watching alone is not enough to absorb what you want to learn if you are considering using videos as a medium to learn things. Take your time to note key points, interesting observations, all the while timestamping when those points are brought up so when you revisit you notes you can reference where it comes from and remember the context better. Literally the same thing you would do if you are experiencing a live class. Noting whatever the teacher said that you find important. Coming back to the teacher to ask questions after classes.

>>43284 >if you are getting caught in the recommendations and tilted from reading a simple page, whatever you are doing is not interesting you. essence of work: Boring labor for payout. Modern issue stems from boring is relative - the more fun/stimulating alternatives are the more boring work seems in relation. Distractions are simply harder to resist now because entertainment got better and online it also sits right next to work. old days you didnt have a fun machine in your factory enticing you to get distracted but online you do.

you'll pick it up over time just install GNU/Linux-libre without systemd, rice the soy out of it, spin up a vm of a 'harder' in your opinion distro, keep going with that a few times and you should be good figuring out how the os actually works under the hood is the key don't focus so much on output as input, it was like 9 years deeply into it before i ever started figuring out / finding uses for bash scripting hacking is in essence understanding your own box, you have a very powerful and versitile tool what have you learned so far? rtfm

>>43282 Set up your browser to never store cookies/delete them all upon exiting the browser. Same for history. This is trivially easy in Firefox at the very least and will avoid YouTube recommendation slop. If you enjoy having subscriptions I use newpipe on my cell phone to track them locally with no sign in (it will also get you an ad free client for YouTube on Android with download capability), and perhaps watch them on my pc if I'm using that.

Its OP, im back. pic unrelated. i agree about social media and youtube and stuff being really bad for focus. i try to limit my exposure to those things where possible. i use yt through invidious while having my subscriptions in my rss feed, and newpipe on my phone. and i dont store browser cache either, both privacy and cleanliness reasons. im unfortunately stuck with discord because various things im interested in (and even tech support for some software or services, gross right?) are stuck there too. i suppose i could make it a habit to never be logged in unless i have a specific reason like asking a question about something, and come up with a similar strategy for anything else that i find continually taking my attention away. using the computer less in general could probably help. i actually do less stuff on my phone, i might get some books on there, maybe have a separate android profile that has nothing but the books and like a notes app or something. i could try making a 'focus script' that i can run to disable docker containers i have for my rss and invidious, maybe enable a hosts file to block discord and other sites, try to disable other distractions. its probably worth mentioning that this lack of focus and motivation affects most things i do, not just when it comes to computers. i regularly forget or procrastinate on stuff i need to do even when i actively remind myself ill do it, someone could tell me something and ill forget it as theyre saying to me because i get distracted by something for a brief second, even as basic as putting something in the trash or noticing my laundry. when it comes to my computer activity and being distracted, i think i spend more time just bouncing around my open windows like lutris, my browser with my rss feed, an empty terminal or whatev, just trying to have something grab my attention, more than being stuck in yt recommendations or whatev. so i guess its not a horrible start. its probably easier to just keep windows you dont use closed than convince yourself what you have open and might give you something interested should be gotten rid of. im not completely at square 0 when it comes to the fundamentals of computers. ive been maining a linux distro for a few years now after windows shat itself. not looking back. im okay at keeping it up to date and troubleshooting the occasional issue, but then i hit a wall where things obviously start getting more complex and my brain just stops.

>>43298 >i use yt through invidious while having my subscriptions in my rss feed Does invidious even work in RSS feeds anymore? I need to re-setup RSS again do you have in client suggestions for RSS or do you use it it thunderbird?

go to irc.2600.net and say these exact words: "make me 1337 hAx0r plz".

op here again. >>43299 i have the direct youtube channel links in my rss feed, and then use libredirect to direct youtube links to my invidious. but as far as i know the rss in invidious should work fine. right now i use freshrss but its not that great, just okay-ish. yarr is a bit simpler of an experience but could be sufficient for your needs. theres a bunch of em, alternativeto.net might be a good place to look. >>43300 will do. i will also assume they will spoonfeed me everything and get irrationally angry when they refuse or make fun of me for it :p

Have you tried using some sort of timer with your work? Something like the pomodoro technique to go thru your subject. From wikipedia >The original technique has six steps: >1 - Decide on the task to be done. >2 - Set the Pomodoro timer (typically for 25 minutes). >3 - Work on the task. >4 - End work when the timer rings and take a short break (typically 5–10 minutes). >5 - Go back to Step 2 and repeat until you complete four pomodori. >6 - After four pomodori are done, take a long break (typically 20 to 30 minutes) instead of a short break. Once the long break is finished, return to step 2. >For the purposes of the technique, a pomodoro is an interval of work time. I imagine the time can be adjusted to your liking. The idea is to make you study and let you do other things until the next wave of studying. And most importantly, to reduce burn out. well, at least help to reduce burn out. >>43298 pic yoinked

op returns to bless thee with thou presence once again!!! >>43308 pomodoro doesnt fix the issue of not even starting on the task in the first place, or even setting the timer to begin with, which is a big part of the issue for me - being *immediately* distracted by something the moment i try to do something because my brain keeps bouncing around soykaf. pomodoro is by no means useless or bad, just that i have to first get to a place where it will even have a chance to be put in practice and have an effect. my issue might require meds, which im not happy about at all but im not sure how else to get my brain to cooperate and i might as well try, even at least to rule them out. hopefully i get to a point where i have it together enough to be able to focus on a 'boring' thing for a little bit at a time at some point soon, but i dont want to pressure myself like "get your soykaf together by new year!" cuz im already too hard on myself i think. first up is seeing the shrink, then see where it goes from there.

>>43273 >>43314 some advice that I understand/ works for me but might not be comprehensive/work for you: - have achievable goals that you are interested in. Reading books is aimless without something precise that you want to invest your understanding in. I've done only a few CTFs but they're like math homework imo - make a todo list every day. Use whatever format you like, but I prefer digital for long term and physical for short term - Try not to get attached to knowing/not knowing computers, it seems to me like your ego is getting in your way. No idea how though - simplify things as much as possible, if something seems too complex you go through it step by step and break it down as much as possible, taking notes if needed -Try pressuring yourself more or less and find a balance where you can get more things done. Our brain has a justification mechanism that is right about 50% of the time in my experience

>>43273 In my own personal opinion (I'm the guy who wrote >>>22330) and I believe you and people like you don't have "it". You like the aesthetics, the coolness factor that has been sold to you in a form of TV shows and movies (propaganda) but in reality you have aversion to ethical aspect of it and the hard grueling hours of just doing it. No method will motivate you, no community will push you in right direction, no form of discipline will make you do it. You AXIOMATICALLY have no desire for it. You aren't a power seeking individual who is willing to step over someones toes to do it. And I can read that just from your post and the way you phrased your desires. It requires a certain Faustian spirit to be a real hacker who isn't just a script kiddy.

>>43332 >I'm the guy who wrote >>>/hum/22330 correction, found it was written like this on this chan

>>43283 I use a firefox addon called "Unhook" It let you hide almost everything on youtube; homefeed, sidebar, recommended, comments, shorts, etc So I can click on yt links and view my subs and that's it

OP, If it is any help, it happens to me, too. Not just with computers, but with just about every *technical* subject out there. And with computers it applies to: programming, cryptography, hacking; in mathematics and physics it applies across the board; I have an interesting in geometry and number theory, in group theory and complex analysis, topology, differential geometry, celestial mechanics, you name it. I have a burning interest for all of them and yet I never progress because of exactly the same thing that happens to you as you described it. My solution? Well, I have none for you, I am sorry. In part, I just stick to the stuff that I am also interested in and which causes me less "mental friction", for which my brain doesn't just immediately block, such as learning languages, reading history, and some other non-technical stuff. I have managed to get over the block in regards to technical stuff. It is really just a matter of sitting down and going step by step through whatever is giving you trouble and if you hit an insurmountable roadblock, even if it's just not having idea what to do next, not to feel bad about looking at the hints and whatnot. It's about work, work work work. But I find myself not really wanting to go through all that at any one time, and it's easier for me to review vocabulary than it is to strain my brain to think of a way out of a difficult technical problem. When I do work through one such problem, though, and manage to come through with a solution, or at least an advance, it feels quite good, except that I just done exercise 1 in a list of 25 and get demotivated. Same when I start reading about cryptography (say), where my brain starts getting tired right away even though I am merely going through the very first pages of the book, where it's just introducing terminology and problems.... I just decide I don't really care much about it to go through all of that and I have other topics that appeal to me more and I could be spending my energy and attention (and time!) there instead. Ultimately, I think I'm not as much a "technical" person as I wanted to believe, and though I have an interest in it, it is not enough to really have me engage in any of these subjects with any seriousness, so I rather read about it somewhat superficially. For example, on nice book I have been reading is Roger Penrose's Road to Reality. It more or less satisfies my technical curiosity without demanding too much from my um problem-solving abilities. I also engage in many other stuff, as I have said, which keep me busy, but every morning my brain still pokes me to fetch a geometry book or maybe one I have about celestial mechanics which is oh so fun. My advice? Don't be afraid to poke, or to check out some other topics, or different literature on those you like which may ease you way into them. Stay safe.