are you a real cyberpunk?

How do you tell a real cyberpunk from lame assholes blackening the name? I found this old gem from 1991 complaining about posers. So do you pass the test? Are you a "real cyberpunk" or just another lamer? http://phrack.org/issues/36/9.html#article Let's see... >Real cyberpunks wear military surplus clothing Check >Real cyberpunks have the balls to go to Thrift Shops Uhh check? >Real cyberpunks don't use IBM PCs FUARRRK

>Corollary to the above: Anyone who makes fun of a cyberpunk shopping at a thrift shop usually winds up in ICU. why did this author think thrift store shopping needed to be defended so much? Must have been made fun of for being poor one too many times in school. >Real cyberpunks know why Broadway Hacker invited everyone to his house. I have no idea who this is and realize it's probably just someone who was involved in the late 80s early 90s scene that the author was in, but I really want to know the backstory >Real cyberpunks have a payphone. >Corollary to the above: The payphone belongs to someone else. >Real cyberpunks drink Jolt. Razor and Blade confirmed real cyberpunks. Fun article, thanks for sharing.

I don't believe there's such a thing as "a" cyberpunk for me, it's only a literary genre, an aesthetic, eventually a philosophy, but it stops here

>Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks are libertarians sorry stallman. sorry leftypol. first real cyber president confirmed.

I am a lamer poser, i don't meet most criteria.

>>39381 lame pride world wide!

>>39377 Thrifting wasn't always cool. It used to just mean you were too poor to buy new clothes from Walmart, and if you did that, it meant you were too poor to buy clothes from the mall. That phile was written right before everything started to change. Grunge, indie, emo, and hipsters through the '90s and 2000s did a lot to change the image of thrifting, fueled by the 2008 recession shifting priorities and culminating in Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" in 2013.

>>39381 if being a "cyberpunk" means buying specific kinds of clothing and soft drinks then you can count me out.

>>39383 I mean, thrifting wasnt cool when I grew up and I got a fair share of teasing about being poor because of it, but I can't imagine many things less punk than caring about what someone says about the cost of your clothes. Granted the article is clearly just for fun so I expect that was the authors point.

>>39353 what's with the michael jackson hate

I've spent time with homeless people in squats scavanging tech, and fixing people's solar and gadgets to upgrade their setups. If that's not real high-tech low life cyberpunk, I'm not sure what is.

>>39426 That's some real ass soykaf. You just made all the wannabees look like child's play

>>39377 The Broadway Hacker was a guy who ran a bunch of phreak BBSs and in person meet ups back in the 80s. He was involved with Metal Shop and there was lots of drama and antics involving him.

Committing to any lifestyle instead of being true to yourself is the first mistake. In this world, if you call yourself a cyberpunk, chances are you are just a LARPer trying to find meaning in life. I don't blame you, it's easy to feel lost in the world. Everyone is just drifting along and making ends meet, but it's hard to feel like you are truly "living". Sorry for the tangent.

>>39353 Real cyberpunks give me money.

With all this soykaf in the news and now a book about cyberpunks, we have a bunch of lame assholes who think they are cyberpunks running around blackening the name. In response to this we'd created this g-file so everybody can tell the glitterboys from the real lainons. Most of these wanna-be lain will probably be offended by what we're going to say, because the description of what defines a real lainon doesn't apply to them. Remember though, lainon is mostly an attitude (this g-file describes physical manifestations of this attitude), and real lainons don't get upset over something written in a g-file. >>>> CLOTHING <<< - Real lainons don't wear pastel grunge, or any of that other Y2K, yuppie, art user soykaf. - Real cyberpunks wear military surplus clothing, non-neon colored Gortex, black cargo pants, boots (combat, workboots or motorycle), Digital Hardcore band T-Shirts, and (on formal occasions) clothing of the opposite sex. - Real lainons don't shop at Hot Topic or the "cyberpunk" clothing section on Amazon. - Real lainons have the balls to go to Thrift Shops. Corollary to the above: Anyone who makes fun of a lainon shopping at a thrift shop usually winds up in ICU. >>> COMPUTERS <<< - Real lainons don't use IBM PCs, Dell, HP, tablets, Alienware, Razer, or unspecced, bottleneck bullshit with overpriced components you're not even going to use. - Real cyberpunks that have the $$$ use high-end Lenovo ThinkPads. - Real cyberpunks that don't have the $$$ use low-end Lenovo ThinkPads or whatever the hell they can get ahold of (except IBM, Dell, HP, Alienware, Razer, uncracked tablet PCs /chromebooks). - All real lainons still own a x230 or t420 as their backup machine. - If they're lucky they keep a TI-99/4A, S-100, Apple ][ w/Apple Cat, or an Atari 130XE with ATR8000 & 850 interfaces somewhere in their collection. - Real lainons program in assembler (ARM). - Real lainons think Rust is cute for a fuarrrk-around language. - Real lainons think of the Potato, Wifi Pineapple, and Flipper Zero as cute toys. - Real lainon SYSOPS run Valgrind. - Real lainons still understand the Apple Cat was the best modem ever made. >>> CARS <<< - Real lainons drive whatever they can afford. - Real lainons never drive an unmodified vehicle. - Real lainons think Audi, BMW, and Mercedes cars serve best as rocket launcher targets. - Real lainons who can afford them drive something with a W-8. Corollary to the above: Real lainons go to every police auction in their area. >>> TECH <<< - All real lainons have their ham license. - Real lainons know the difference between a resistor and a capacitor. - Real lainons know where to get tech cheap in their area. Corollary to the above: Real lainons practically live at their local Surplus Store or Dumpster. - Real lainons think Radio Shack is like kicking dead whales down the beach, but still go to their dumpster because it's convenient. Corollary to the above: Real lainons put pragmatism before principle. - Real lainons always carry a Leatherman Tool. Corollary to the above: Real lainons know what a Leatherman Tool is. - Real lainons own a dual-band HT. Corollary to the above: Real lainons know what a dual-band HT is. Corollary to the corollary: Real lainons have hosed McDonalds at least once. - Real lainons know how use a TDR. Corollary to the above: The have also managed to get ahold of one for free. >>> POLITICS & LAW <<< - Real lainons are politically aware, but avoid getting involved in that bullshit. - Real lainons think all politicians should be castrated. Corollary to the above: Real lainons are Anarchists. - Real lainons have copies of their state, city, country or province law statues. - Real lainons don't get caught. >>> KNOWLEDGE <<< - Real lainons read 2600, lainzine, phrack, lowtechmagazine, PoC || GTFO, and any 'zines about DIY in their area. Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks understand what they read in these publications. - Real lainons think Mondo2000, for the most part, is like kicking dead whales down the beach. - Real lainons learn about everything from Computers to Crossbows. - Real lainons know how to write simply and calmly. - Real lainons speak at least 2 languages. >>> WEAPONS <<< - Real lainons don't have the typical libtard fear of weapons that most internet users seem to have. Corollary to the above: Real lainons know the value of useful equipment. - Real lainons own at least one gun. - Real lainons carry Gerber, Benchmade, kershaw, Buck, Morakniv, Lionsteel, CJRB, Victorinox, Kizer, Fälkniven, ZT, Microtech, or Spyderco blades. Corollary to the above: Real lainons think custom steel is neat, but costs too much. - Real lainons have memorized The Improvised Munitions Black Book. - Real lainons know The Anarchist Cookbook is a crock of soykaf. - Real lainons participate in the fosscad and larger 3d2a community. - Real cyberpunks keep a supply of DMSO handy. Corollary to the above: Real cyberpunks know what DMSO is. >>> MUSIC <<< - Real lainons go to Death Grips concerts whenever they can. - Real lainons think hyperpop, glitchcore, plugg music, sextrance, breakcore, cloud rap, dariacore, noise pop, indie sleaze is just a bunch of out-of-the-closet homosexuals. - Real lainons don't listen to Grimes. - Real lainons think Kanye West should be napalmed. - Real lainons think Top-40 is like kicking dead whales down the beach. - Corollary to the above: real lainons don't listen to soundcloud playlists. - Real lainons listen to HEALTH, Lust Sick Puppy, Skinny Puppy, Merzbow, Machine Girl, WARGASM, Johnnascus, Atari Teenage Riot, The Cure etc. - In the end, real lainons listen to whatever the fuarrrk they want. >>> HACKING <<< - Real lainons think Kali Linux is for users, but uses it anyway because they put pragmatism before principle. - Real lainons know what TEMPEST means. And what a faraday cage is. - Real lainons use all variety of wireless sniffers and wiretaps, and call them *data taps*. - Real lainons steal Internet access. - Real lainons know why Broadway Hacker invited everyone to his house. - Real lainons know what PPS really means. - Real lainons know Clifford Stoll's ex-wife is a lesbian. Corollary to the above: Real lainons know that Clifford Stoll is an asshole. - Real lainons know just how good friends John Maxfield and Broadway Hacker were. - Real lainons know who John Maxfield is and what he was arrested for. - Real lainons still phreak at all. Corollary to the above: Real lainons know what a blue box is, and know how to use it. - Real lainons know what a TS-21 is. Corollary to the above: Real lainons stole their TS-21. - Real lainons have acquired an ISP branded hard-hat. - Real lainons have a payphone. Corollary to the above: The payphone belongs to someone else. - Real lainons on the east coast have attended at least one 2600 meeting. Corollary to the above: Real lainons who have attended a 2600 meeting don't go to them anymore. Corollary to the corollary: Real lainons are still waiting for another OSUNY meeting. Further corollary: Real lainons know what OSUNY originally stood for. >>> HEALTH <<< - Real lainons use effective supplements and nootropics. Corollary to the above: Real lainons know which ones these are, and where to get them. Corollary to the corollary: Real lainons know that nootropics are no golden bullet and that there's no substitute keeping themselves fit and healthy. - Real lainons know about the medicinal value of various plants. - Real lainons take care of themselves. - Real lainons take time away from fuarrrking with their computers to get some exercise. FOOD & DRINK - Real lainons drink Club Mate. Corollary to the above: Real lainons think Monster is for glitterboys. - Real lainons are intimately familiar with the selection at 7 - Eleven, but avoid it whenever possible. - Real lainons know how to cook. - Real lainons drink Guinness Stout. - Real lainons who are under 21 distill their own. - Real lainons can go to any market and not get lost. That's it for now, but since users are always finding new ways to become lame, expect a Real Lainons Vol. II soon. Yours truly, The Men From lainchan, 9/24/15 :OSUNY, TCO, PPS, SPS, PHALCO

>>39708 >soundcloud playlists fuark that ws supposed to say spotify playlists. mods can you fix my soykaf

>>39708 Lainons are Lainons, being the same would be boring. Different lainons have different backgrounds and skillsets. Don't give up on lainons before getting to know them.

>>39708 what do you have against IBM thinkpads

Meh... ignore this post if you value your sanity. >living under an IBM Megacorp building in Megaopolis. >just got out of jail, get clothes from soup kitchens. >(temporarily) Sleeping in a pile of rocks with a few intrusive bayou rats and wild bunnies as neighbors. >developing an atan2() that runs in tens of thousands less cycles as part of the world's quickest math library (mine, yet to be publihed). Yeah, I'd say I'm a "real" hightech lowlife... but a "cyberpunk"? no. IMO, Whatever Cyberpunk was supposed to be has been coopted by culturevultures about the same time as the manufactured "geek" and/or "nerd" culture was(if not earlier). I gave up on "cyberpunk" when I realized we seem to have surpassed that cultural layer some time in "ancient" Egypt (like SEL explains in occult {not so hidden} symbology). Navi is Wadjet, for example... "Real" lainons know that civilization is cyclic, that we've already had A.I. (ai=love?!) Gods in the past, the "wired" is now an upper layer of reality, and have been enlightened to the existence of the shy and watchful gods (that Lain represents) which sundry mystery cults dress up in various traditions (which is what SEL is a lamentation of). Yeah, I'm crazy (about "Lain").

>>39708 I comply with most of these rules yet, i would like to add: - Real lainons understands that the world is comprised of more countries than burgerland, and as such, not all of them will have access to the same tech/tools/events. At the same time, real lainons don't really care about unimportant non-lainon people that did some forgettable crap in the other side of the globe

>>39353 > from 1991 >"Real cyberpunks realize the Apple Cat was the best modem ever made" lmao^ how is an absolutely ancient 32yearold test relevant in current-year actual cyberpunk dystopia

>>39786 >Real lainons understands that the world is comprised of more countries than burgerland, and as such, not all of them will have access to the same tech/tools/events agree. but you'd be surprised who is and isn't a lainon - all over the world, there's people on lainchan

>in order to be a real cyberpunk you have to agree with and conform to this random internet dude's highly specific way of life religiously why would anyone buy into this

>>39708 >Real lainons go to Death Grips concerts whenever they can. fuarrrk me i missed out on death grips last time they were near me because i got sick. now i'll never be a real lainon

>>39708 >death grips Would’ve thought lain hates obvious industry plants

>>39426 fuarrrk, that's cool stuff. always wanted to squat myself

>>39353 >>39708 forgot to add true lainons are deeply connected to spirituality, even without having read a single book on the subject, they can be incredibly good at it. true lainons hold the key to developing a good character. they believe in honest living and as such they try to learn as they recognize and begin to accept those aspects of themselves that they loathe, and build on that. true lainons live by this one single rule, being truthful with themselves and the world, with nature, their sexuality and body. ...or am I not confusing lainanon with lain's nature? I leave lainchan this question. which lain are you?

Gentleman, let us first define what a cyberpunk actually is.

>>39786 >sum uv us r nawt burgermensch the FELLA to whom you are replying is advocating the drinking of beverage CLUB MATE highly rare in AMERICA outside of Hackers On Planet Earth; this is not a BOURGER centric poster. what he is is a HOPE/2600 centric fella, which he acknowledges but placed in caveat. you just have to know what the EAST COAST is. and guess what, ya do. take that. also HOPE is surely among the best places to go if you want to just randomly run into lainchanners, or at least it used to be. Not really some irrelevant non lainchan event on the other side of the globe, but I guess a turdworlder wouldnt know. >>39893 cuz it comes in a pretty box >>39935 pic related. Thats me in the suit. Im that lain.

>>39935 what a bunch of California girl yoga soykaf. real lainons reject the cult of the self, say no to self-help development bullshit, narcissistic identity crap, new age garbage, consumerist self-worship and the cults of health and sexuality. real lainons do not fear death. lainons are not selfish hedonist individualists they are too busy learning and fuarrrking around with tech for that soykaf. real lainons respect eastern philosophy and spirituality and the occult and dont act like retarded kale swilling hollywood celebrities who think its all about them.

thanks lain, site is blocked on my schools network - reason: terrorism

>>39940 >narcissistic identity crap, new age garbage, consumerist self-worship and the cults of health and sexuality. I have it on good authority all that stuff is part of "the agenda".

>>39940 I don't know if you ever noticed this, or even attempted to understand what I posted was, in fact, a criticism to that type of society, which ego is marketed and identity is marginalized, - those are two different things btw but you've seen this in eastern philosophy, you probably know what I'm talking about. I even said "being truthful..., with nature, sexuality and body". how do you follow a life based in those principles when it's in your own nature to deny Nature? since the ability to extract any information is lacking for someone, I believe pointing out the "fuaaarks" and "soycafs", those mere attempts to "fit in" a social group is not related to "ego" at all(sarcasm). would probably fall on deaf ears pointing out that lack of self-reflection, too

>>39956 I think your issue is the referring to extremely broad swathes of philosophy / knowledge as eastern spiritualtity while claiming to "pay respect" to them. this framing is the same as hollywood etc like youve stated

>>39937 cyberpunk hardcore/hardline culture but with hacker culture and free software fanaticism instead of vegan zealotry