Hello again Lainchan

It has been a few years. My life has fallen to pieces and I'm just trying to pick them up. I think I am doing a decent job at that. I'm finally ready to start interacting with people again. This place was like a home to me, and I hope it hasn't changed much. This is kind of a pointless post, I just wanted to say hi since I've been away for so long. Life is a weird, strange trip..

Hey there, bub. I hope your day treats you well.

>>33621 Welcome back lainon ;D

Glad to see you around, lain! Nice to hear you're taking care of yourself. I hope the board is as comfy as you remember :)

>>33624 Thank you Arisu :) >>33638 Thank you, I'm trying. I'm really happy to be here. Being stuck in normal peoplepace for so long was starting to mess with my head. I nearly forgot what it was like to interact with people like myself. Noone should suffer that.

Hello fren, Internally you might feel like things have come apart at the seams, but that's been the case for many people, even normal people, though they're unable to articulate it as well. It's kind of just in the ether, this sensation. Some people will say it was the COVID lockdowns, others some sort of metaphysical transitory phase. Your post is very relatable: I'm relatively old and my socio-emotional landscape was completely paved over and leveled over the course of the last several years. Only within the last month or two have I felt like things are starting to build back together. If you're comfortable sharing the details of your story you have at least one very captivated audience member.

>>33697 Indeed. It does feel like the flame of hope is getting lower and lower until it is only glowing embers.

>>33700 Lots of people are feeling it: many are struggling, some are fronting, and some are managing (either by ignoring it or by exercises in self-improvement), but only the most plugged-in of Hylics are oblivious to it. What is your take, Lainanon? Why everyone all of a sudden?

>>33697 Excuse the late reply, been working on a couple projects and I tend to lose track of time, but sure why not here ya go. Well it's kind of hard to pinpoint exactly. I managed to luck out and kept my job during covid which allowed me to save up a small bit of money. Getting a job had been huge for me, first time in my life I actually felt proud of my work and responsible and like I had a real future.. Then a woman got me fired for some absolute farce as a tool to cover for her own ego's malfunctions. What they say about work relationships is completely true and I wish I listened. But.. Can anyone really blame me for being seduced? I can't. I am really fuarrrking lonely. I never went looking for anyone, they came to me, and in full force.. Emotions and relationships are but a game to most people these days, and that alone makes me deign to support a culling, but anyways.. So now I live with parents, hating every second of it, but at least I have some money, so I buy what I need, keep to myself out of the way as best I can trying not to let normal peoplepace infect me too deeply, and when this money runs out/parents die I either start living the homeless life or off myself before it gets too bad. There have definitely been some major stasis shifts in the modern world and society lately.. More people hate their lives now than ever before.. Everyone I know is so fuarrrking anxious nowadays it makes me sick.. Covid was certainly the catalyst, and a politial/socio/psychological tool of conditioning. Everyone is fuarrrking exhausted these days. Why? Because at the end of the day we all know, in one way or another, these pigs need to be removed from power and the existing power structure needs a total overhaul but that isnt happening because their game is airtight and they use BS like covid to flaunt it in our faces and demoralize those of us intelligent enough to see through their plan along with watching our family and friends flounder about wondering why everything is so awful nowadays as we wait for them to die from whatever death the jab has in store for them.. as if the poisoned oceans werent enough to make a person cry by itself.. its enough to break a kokoro, but the most important thing is to keep the kokoro strong and never let 'them' lay a finger on it.. But, still, I ask myself, is suicide the logical answer? I hate this world, I want out, but then I think, I don't want to give them that much and admit they won. And so here I am, just trying to live for myself and keep my own spirits up these days. Actually, though, I'm doing okay. Coming to terms with being alone and learning to love myself and love spending time with myself has been the most productive thing I've done in a long time. I get lonely, but then I have my schizo-alt selves to talk to and spend time with, so it kind of works out, and all other people ever brought me was grief in the end anyways.. Well, that is where I end this, If you would like to relate your own experiences and feelings please feel free, this is kind of interesting to me and I would like to hear your take, but I am not expecting anything because its been a bit.