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What can i do? I'm autistic homosexual that got bullied by everyone around me I've always been an extremely shy and awkward child. I never dared to speak up or complain. One time in kindergarten a boy tried to drown me and i didn't even struggle out of politeness. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over this 'judging' fear, or how to manage it? I know that the first step would probably be to just show something, but my anxiety flat out won't let me. How do I get over this extreme fear of drawing attention towards myself?

you just have to chip away at it little by little. its not something that will get any better on its own. being an anxious autistic exacerbates things (i would know) but eventually you just stop caring

>>29035 >I know that the first step would probably be to just show something, I don't think that's the very first step you should be taking. Don't think you even need to show anything, really. Be comfortable with yourself and embrace that shy / awkward, or, even better, the best sides of you. Judgement is temporary. I don't know where you are in life, but if I assume right, it's only gonna get better. Don't push yourself too much.

examine the leary interpersonal grid, and the jungian archetypes as they relate to lion/eagle/angel/bull locate how you are eccentric that is, not centered, how you are extreme, and acting robotic based on your childhood imprint (this is the metaphor used in the matrix, the inform as the 'tracing program' to discover where you are) once you find where you are stuck, get someone who will push your boundaries, in this case likely a dominant person who will take charge, or a person who is submissive but okay with themselves (just as robotic) and use them until you are capable of acting like them when its reasonable & you need to instead of reverting to just one mode. possibly use psychoactive drugs which allow for imprint vulnerability if you aren't getting results from the introspective work.

>>29037 >DUDE JUST KEEP BEING A WEAK BITCH LMAO this place is horrible for life advice OP. honestly you're better off asking on 4chan.

>>29036 Sad as it is this is about right, you just have to fight back piece for piece. It looks like you are flat out paralyzed by anxiety, what you need to realize is if you let it go this way the walls will only close in more, i know how you feel, but its just a struggle and you cant back down. Its all the advice i can give you.

>>29046 You totally missed the point lmao. I'm suggesting that he gets more confident in himself to the point that being "bullied" or judge shouldn't affect him. could have said that he shouldn't be on this board because it honestly sounds like teen angst. Nobody cares and have time about judging OP outside of high school.

>>29035 >What can I do? Be my bf and with the power of handholding you'll be fearless!

>>29050 Really anon? Maybe you're right. I want to find someone to love and fix me >>29047 >>29048 >>29039 >>29037 thanks for the words of support anons but in the end i didnt go and just kinda cried all day, i just wish i was normal, why is everything so hard for me?

>>29053 if everything's hard, just start smaller. you don't pick up the 50 pound dumbbells your first day in the gym, do you? ganbatte lain, i still believe in you

>>29055 Thanks...its going to be hard for me...im a manlet ;_;

See a therapist or psychiatrist. Call a counseling service. If you're in the USA, you can text counseling services or chat with them online for free, that might be an option if your anxiety is so bad that talking to someone is an insurmountable challenge. Because you mention bullying, my guess is that you're underage. Bullying disappears fast after you get out of school. That isn't to discredit your troubles, it fuarrrking is like kicking dead whales down the beach while it's happening, but hopefully it's nice to know that it ends after school ends, as clichéd as that is. Lastly, the internet, and especially imageboards, is not a great place for advice for anxiety or mental illness. These places are way more likely to give you more things to needlessly be anxious about, not help you.

>>29057 bullying is just a mindset issue. Once youre willing to go scorched earth they lose because all em are looking for prey not enemies. Secondary i wouldn't say it stops, office politcs transforms rather into backstabbing potential threats than simply screwing the weakest for benefits.

>>29056 I'm 5'5" and I have a gf and a relatively succesful life. Only morons care about height.

>>29060 Damn...i always wanted a bf..

>>29050 >>29053 Bump ;_; hope he was unironic..

>>29063 I'd unironically date you, you seem nice just by looking at your posts and your typing, I'd love to make you blush, you deserve it

>>29060 literally everyone cares lmao, it's one of the few things we're biologically hardcoded to care about

>>29064 Really? You would?! :)?

>>29067 >>29064 its kinda weird... most people think I’m weird and make fun of me behind my back

>>29060 LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL LOOK AT THE MANLET

>>29064 >>29067 i think he forgot about me..

>>29097 Nah i didn't, i was just busy as fuark, you okay?

>>29099 Yup i am! How are you?

>>29099 Going through some surprise changes in life atm, so been better, but holding in there. Hbu?

>>29102 I'm doing ok too, a bit busy atm, might buy something later, btw here's my contact if you want to talk Katsurken@protonmail.com

>>29108 Doneeeeeeeee! Sent you email

>>29035 ze absolute state of lainchan in 2021

>>29035 Are you still around OP? Going throught precisely the same trash at the moment. >that got bullied by everyone around me Sounds cliche, I know, but I managed to stop the bullying by dimmishing my reactions to the attempts, they lost interest within a month. >I'm autistic homosexual No one knows about my sexuality, not that ashamed anymore but I still fear their reactions. It was a bit tiring at first whenever questions like "any girls in class?" arose, but acting like I'm disinterested in sexuality in general has become kind of an automated process with time, and they buy it, so I don't really think about that a lot. The bigger problems are the social anxiety and the loneliness that comes with it. Can't start/hold conversations, often start crying in crowded places, and so on. I found that silently talking to myself on my way to school seriously helps sometimes, as it keeps me from thinking about my surroundings that much, but that's about it. Don't think that my parents could afford a professional. Have you found a way to deal with your problems and especially the loneliness? Does anyone else have some advice? Sorry to soykaf on /r/ by reviving this thread, so many people have it far worse than me, but I still feel kind of stuck right now and the loneliness is really weighing me down.

>>29035 This might help. Apple Man wants more text so I have to write more text, thank you Appleman you are my best friend

>>32073 Let me just point out that problems of loneliness and anxiety are not limited to homosexual autists. I really don't see what being gay has to do with it in your case. It's really self-defeating to think in that way, that because of some condition you are limited to having x. >Have you found a way to deal with your problems and especially the loneliness? I would say focus on work or a particular skill that you could work on incrementally every day. I am a bad example because I will work on a project until I realize I don't care about it/don't have any reason to and move on to the next one.

>>32082 >I really don't see what being gay has to do with it in your case. I'm sorry, I might have formulated it badly, you're entirely right and it's not really a problem for me, just wanted to take some pressure off of OP in case he's still around because it seemed to weight him down a little. >I would say focus on work or a particular skill that you could work on incrementally every day. I do have some projects I spend most of my time working on and I've been doing a lot better since, but we're social by nature. Befriending classmates or going out once every two weeks might improve the situation and I try that from time to time, but I get anxious outiside and start talking nonsense in one-on-one conversations with people I barely know, same happens online, so those don't really seem like viable options. IBs are slow and therefore perfect but I always fear that I'm worsening it's quality every time I post.