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Hey Lainons, I'm having a dilemma. I've had a meatspace friend for 4+ years, now, one of the only ones. When I first knew him, I remember we had the same sense of humour, knew the same mutual people, and would talk theories and watch soykafty art films together. It was pretty good going, he was easy to get along with. We also both had a mutual interest in drugs, which was probably indulged in excess. These days have been a bit tougher, and drugs as a means to entertainment has fallen out of favour with me for various reasons, which removes one common interest. I do like him, as much as saying that sounds like an excuse, I've always thought of him as insightful and his ideas fascinate me. But, seemingly our personalities are becoming more maligned and clashing, and though until today both sides made an effort it was generally sprinkled with miscommunication and overly high hopes for interpersonal relationships. Today, I received a text "Hey. I've been thinking about it and we should stop being friends. I know you don't like me." I do like him, and though this soykaf is pretty forced now I can't lose the feeling I could try to turn it around. He's a worthwhile person, and I think if it did work since we're both pretty creative types there could be valuable experience in it. On the other hand, my immediate first thought was on how much time I could save, and what I personally gained from bothering. It seems really soykafty, to be debating the ethics of allowing someone to fall out of my life so I can drop some obligations. It think I'm meant to feel more strongly about it, but I can't find the logical backing, which could also be the reason my friendships decay in the first place. Am I being too sentimental towards the past? Or do I need to care more about maintaining my relationships? I'm very asocial, and it's never an issue I've had to approach before.

>>6897 I've been friends with people out of a lack of other options before. It's not a good thing to do. Make friends, no matter how few and cherish them. Don't stay in a toxic friendship because you think you don't have other options. You'll always find people who share something in common with you. If a friendship is toxic, then it's time to move on. So please do consider doing that. PS: I really wish I knew what "soykaf" meant. I know it's a language enhancer, but what word is being filtered? Thanks.

Its the "american" word for feces.. the "kurwa" of the states. IMHO It's such a good call by the admins of this site to capitalize on such lameness of the culture.

>>6898 Soykaf as in soylent caffeine, filter for 's h i t'. Thanks for the input, although I'd consider it an oversimplification to say that everyone will find someone they can relate to. What I think might spur me to continue is that I could think of what I can do concretely to make an effectual change, I wouldn't stay if it was guaranteed to be static. However, I know that's what fuarrrking everyone says, and I don't know if there's any value to this sentimentality, or if I'm blinded to my own idealism. What determined for you what was enough to cut a friendship?

>>6900 >What determined for you what was enough to cut a friendship? When the other person starts to have a negative impact on my life, at that point I tell them what is up and see what happens, if it continues I will most likely walk away these days. I am more or less in this position with my two oldest friends, they really have not contributed anything but damage to my life in quite a few years, I still see them a couple times a year, the past keeps that door open and things may change so we can resume our friendship once again but I keep it very casual and without obligation when we do get to get together. From what you said in your OP, I would say you should probably get together with him and just tell him what you told us, his response and the following conversation should make the situation and what path you should take much more clear.

>>6899 >>6900 Thanks guys. I was worried that people would be hostile and angry at me for not knowing. I am very glad to be wrong.

Are you a woman or a user? This seems like a really weird way for a man to approach and treat friendship. I haven't talked with some of my friends in years, but we're still friends because I've known them for a long time and if I wanted I could call them up for some beers whenever I felt like it. I've never known a man to actively acknowledge or propose the end of a friendship. That seems like a ridiculously childish or effeminate behavior.

>>7164 > Are you a woman or a user? What a bizarre question to open with.

>>7164 >Are you a woman or a user? I don't see the point of this question nor do I see the point of your post. Even if OP is a women or a user, what difference does it make?