A third lainchan has emerged

What the fuarrrk now Whiteline, tsu, and a few others are starting a THIRD lainchan on lainchan.net APPLEMAN PLEASE.

Decentralize everything! Present Day, Present Time! AHAHAHAHAHA!

>>4111 >that frontpage This is wrong.

>>4111 applechan.org is also registered

>>4111 I fell for it. If you were going to seriously start a third lainchan, now would probably be the time.

That is my new home now. Goodbye forever .org and .jp

>>4111 Old joke is old. https://whois.icann.org/en/lookup?name=lainchan.net Important Dates Updated Date: 2016-04-11 Created Date: 2015-04-16 Registration Expiration Date: 2018-04-16 Domain Name: LAINCHAN.NET Registry Domain ID: 1920233835_DOMAIN_NET-VRSN Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.enom.com Registrar URL: www.enom.com Updated Date: 2016-04-11T05:39:06.00Z Creation Date: 2015-04-16T01:45:00.00Z Registrar Registration Expiration Date: 2018-04-16T01:45:42.00Z Registrar: ENOM, INC. Registrar IANA ID: 48 Reseller: NAMECHEAP.COM Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited https://www.icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited Registry Registrant ID: Registrant Name: WHOISGUARD PROTECTED Registrant Organization: WHOISGUARD, INC. Registrant Street: P.O. BOX 0823-03411 Registrant City: PANAMA Registrant State/Province: PANAMA Registrant Postal Code: 00000 Registrant Country: PA Registrant Phone: +507.8365503 Registrant Phone Ext: Registrant Fax: +51.17057182 Registrant Fax Ext: Registrant Email: FCDF14DCE7C3450280888CB64ACE19B8.PROTECT@WHOISGUARD.COM Registry Admin ID: Admin Name: WHOISGUARD PROTECTED Admin Organization: WHOISGUARD, INC. Admin Street: P.O. BOX 0823-03411 Admin City: PANAMA Admin State/Province: PANAMA Admin Postal Code: 00000 Admin Country: PA Admin Phone: +507.8365503 Admin Phone Ext: Admin Fax: +51.17057182 Admin Fax Ext: Admin Email: FCDF14DCE7C3450280888CB64ACE19B8.PROTECT@WHOISGUARD.COM Registry Tech ID: Tech Name: WHOISGUARD PROTECTED Tech Organization: WHOISGUARD, INC. Tech Street: P.O. BOX 0823-03411 Tech City: PANAMA Tech State/Province: PANAMA Tech Postal Code: 00000 Tech Country: PA Tech Phone: +507.8365503 Tech Phone Ext: Tech Fax: +51.17057182 Tech Fax Ext: Tech Email: FCDF14DCE7C3450280888CB64ACE19B8.PROTECT@WHOISGUARD.COM Name Server: DNS1.REGISTRAR-SERVERS.COM Name Server: DNS2.REGISTRAR-SERVERS.COM DNSSEC: unSigned Registrar Abuse Contact Email: abuse@enom.com Registrar Abuse Contact Phone: +1.4252982646 URL of the ICANN WHOIS Data Problem Reporting System: http://wdprs.internic.net/ >>> Last update of WHOIS database: 2016-04-11T05:39:06.00Z <<< For more information on Whois status codes, please visit https://icann.org/epp The data in this whois database is provided to you for information purposes only, that is, to assist you in obtaining information about or related to a domain name registration record. We make this information available "as is," and do not guarantee its accuracy. By submitting a whois query, you agree that you will use this data only for lawful purposes and that, under no circumstances will you use this data to: (1) enable high volume, automated, electronic processes that stress or load this whois database system providing you this information; or (2) allow, enable, or otherwise support the transmission of mass unsolicited, commercial advertising or solicitations via direct mail, electronic mail, or by telephone. The compilation, repackaging, dissemination or other use of this data is expressly prohibited without prior written consent from us. We reserve the right to modify these terms at any time. By submitting this query, you agree to abide by these terms. Version 6.3 4/3/2002

>>4118 Good job ruining the fun.

>>4120 No, that user was breaking the rules by not clearly labeling his post a joke. Someone may have been confused, Appleman was just helping us out. WARNING: THIS POST IS A JOKE DO NOT TAKE THIS POST SERIOUSLY

>>4121 Funny thing is, making jokes without explicitly labeling them as jokes literally is against the IRC server rules.

>>4122 are you fuarrrking kidding me?

>>4120 >>4121 >>4122

>>4124 Who calls themselves Appleman1234 anyways? It is the most retarded alias I've ever seen.

>>4122 >>4123 >>4124 The IRC network rules do not have the same enforcement policy as the image board rules , e.g. Some of the rule violations are unlikely to result in a ban, and that is why the rules for the IRC network , explicitly mention being warned and then being derezzed in further elaboration to the imageboard's >Rule 1. >If you break the rules we will delete your post. Do >it repeatedly and you'll be derezzed. from https://lainchan.org/rules.html Also they are called the hostname server rules because that is what the IRC server software outputs when called with /rules and the binary has not been patched yet, despite having several lainons suggest that some of the rules are more like guidelines and recommendations. How best to patch the source code to make it say Rules, Recommendations & Guidelines it being looked into. Making jokes without labeling them is not explicitly against the rules, it is just recommended that > 232 - When having general discussions about sensitive topics, it is best to qualify when one is joking. In case it wasn't obvious from the Pro Tips section of the Rules page >Just relax and try to have fun. Jokes are always welcome. This has never changed. Is this protip something that needs to be added to the IRC network's Rules listing ?

>>4126 The irc needs to be deleted. Nothing good comes from it. This is an image board for Christ sake.

>>4126 is this real life?

>>4128 Is this just fantasy ?

>>4111 WHAT THE FUARRRRK?! HOW COULD THEY BETRAY US LIKE THIS? FUARRRK YOU, WHITELINE, TSU, AND YOU FEW FUARRRKING OTHERS. YOU SHOULD BE DEREZZED TO A FOODLESS ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN WITH JUST ONE PALM TREE FOR SHADE, SO THAT YOU’LL HAVE TO FIGHT OVER IT. FUARRK ALL OF YOU, IN Present Day, Present Time! AHAHAHAHAHA!

>>4118 >>4120 >>4121 >>4122 >>4124 >>4126

>>4136 Is that a joke or are you serious? Plz label your jokes. This was a joke btw Feature request. Add an email field option (like sage and noko) called joke so that jokes can be properly labelled as such.

>>4138 That's actually a really good idea. this post is also a joke

>>4138 >>4139 This functionality has been implemented. It will be committed to Github shortly. As per my previous statement usage of it is encouraged, but is opt-in like all new functionality. To use just type joke in the email field.

Yes this post is a joke and metajoke and is an example of my killing of jokes by making a joke post that appears serious as a joke. As per The Complexity of Jokes Is Limited by Cognitive Constraints on Mentalizing https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12110-015-9251-6 which used http://web.archive.org/web/20110208194810/http://www.worldsbest.in/2011/01/100-funniest-jokes-of-all-time.html It should be noted that the people being told the jokes by researchers at Oxford Universitry were undergraduates at the London School of Economics, so they might prefer high-brow gags. Some of the jokes are long, some are short, and two feature bears for some reason, but are they really the funniest jokes in the world? You decide. Snail with an attitude A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’ A genie and an idiot Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’ True love lasts forever It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’ Off to work A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’ Ooo Heaven is a place on earth Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. ‘So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?’ Sid asks. ‘Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex, take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep and wake up the next day.’ ‘Oh, my God,’ says Sid. ‘So that’s what heaven is like?’ ‘Oh no,’ says Irv. ‘I’m not in heaven. I’m a bear in Yellowstone Park.’ The Devil’s in the details A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, ‘No, let me see the next room.’ In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries. The guy says, ‘I pick this room.’ Satan says Ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, ‘OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!’ Kid vs barber A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’ You’re one in a million China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you. Racing a bear Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.’ ‘I don’t need to outrun the bear,’ the first guy says. ‘I just need to outrun you.’ All in a night’s work A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

>>4141 lainchan.org officially has trigger warnings. how far we've fallen. lain is disappointed.

>>4142 I do NOT like where this is going. Please stop. Just leave lainchan alone. What in the serious fuarrrk.

Shut the fuarrrk up already jesus

>>4142 These are not trigger warnings, it is just a joke email field, suggested and implemented as a joke in response to a joke in a joke thread. Would you like OPT-IN trigger warnings, because I am sure a triggered email field wouldn't be that hard to implement ? From your post it sounds like you don't want the joke email field functionality or the triggered email field functionality, so I guess you don't have to use it and you can continue posting as normal , leaving the email field blank.

>>4123 >>4144 I know, right? He keeps digging himself deeper and deeper.

>>4145 I-I liked it.

>>4148 Huh, I guess you are an anomaly on these imageboards, as am I, and actually have a sense of humor; I also enjoyed it. Think about how many more levels of irony can be used when doing this. For example, I have now ascended, and you can no longer tell whether I am saying what I think or not. Am I joking? Am I joking about joking? Am I joking about joking about the joke? Am I really just an autistic savant who is five years old, dropped out of school, and living in my grandparent's basement of their cabin in the woods, apart from society and alone? With Johnny never coming to visit, and Amal always cooking these odd foods, and the spiders and the dragons in the basement... But you know what? With no light coming in when I try to sleep, my sleep has the most koala tea ever! And I have so, so, so, soooooo many LEGOs to play with! It reminds me of Minecraft, for which I host 4 servers. How much dedidated wam do I need, do you think? But I digress, as I sit in water cress, would you like a game of chess? No? God bless! I guess you'll never know, lainon, and in not knowing, you eventually find yourself at /drug/. But, dontcha know that all drugs are bad for you? Even the best of drugs, like these schway talks on this board of questions. When you leave, may you find answers, be they hidden in the darkness, or hidden on Johnny's iPhone.

>>4151 Don't worry, son, I don't think anyone will hurt you. You sound more like you are forty-two, but the part about living in the basement is true, I'd bet. Have you ever contemplated visiting a psychiatrist? Yes? No? If no, then perhaps lainchan.net is for you. That's where I'm heading. Long have I been wending that way, and when will it happen? The exodus to lainchan.net, which leaves all other imageboards bare and destitute? >pic related

>>4151 >>4152 so people get capcodes if they want to be 'funny'? this is a very poor decision.

>>4153 I think this is a wonderful idea.

this entire website is like godwin's law embodied except instead of online discussion and hitler it's any thread that appleman posts in and appleman getting julienned, lol (apologies for off-topic reply)

Yes, hello? Is this thing on? Good. This is a representative for the centralised overseeing committee of groups, organisations and bureaus for laughter, entertainment and revelry. We have recently detected the presence of jokes upon your website and further inspection has revealed that people have been telling jokes here unlabelled for quite some time. As I'm sure you know, this contravenes article 126 section 232, subsection 18, paragraph 7, word 12 of the international joke treaty as the correct taxes have not been paid on these jokes. A full audit is still in progress but preliminary estimations suggest that you owe approximately 1,0000,000,0,0 (one jazzilion) memecoin ($6.72 at time of writing). To assist in our investigations you must turn over all user data including, but not limited to, IP addresses, post data, facebook passwords, nudes and grocery lists. Data should be submitted via email to sk8r_X_420_X_@cocgobler.org. Encryption is not necessary as we are a government agency and we'll probably just leave the unencrypted data on the bus anyway. Failure to comply with this voluntary request will result in the immediate arrest of all members of your family and their pets. Thank you for your assistance in this matter. All questions, comments and questions can be sent to no-reply@cocgobler.org. Offer subject to availability. This post has a cash value of less than one twentieth of a cent.

>>4151 >filename are you seriously joking? Or is it just a joke? Does a serious joke have to be taken seriously or not? Is it "haha only serious" or "joking with a straight face"? Can I joke with a gay face? I guess it's okay so say 'gay' if it's labelled joke, but then again it makes it an homophobic joke which can be alleged to be worse than an actual homophobic statement. Where does the joke end? Is the universe a joke? Then we must take it seriously so we can properly deliver the punchline. Or has the punchline already passed and we're at that awkward moment where nobody is laughing because it was a lousy joke? How long does it last anyway? Millions of years? Are we going to die in the middle of the aftermath of a bad joke and now God has to keep it running just for the sunk cost?

Appleman is a competent administrator and I respect what he has done for our community. WARNING: THIS POST IS A JOKE

>>4154 I think this is a great idea. (JOKING)

>>4160 I wasn't laughing. Not me, I swear!

>>4160 What the fuarrrk did you just fuarrrking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuarrrk out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fuarrrking words. You think you can get away with saying that soykaf to me over the Internet? Think again, fuarrrker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fuarrrking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little soykaf. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fuarrrking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will soykaf fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fuarrrking dead, kiddo.

>>4183 What the fuarrrk did you just fuarrrking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I am top of the mod staff in .jp, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on nullchan, and I have over 300 confirmed hax. I am trained in advanced lisp macros and I’m the top doxxer in the entire clearnet. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuarrrk out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this lainchan, mark my fuarrrking words. You think you can get away with saying that soykaf to me over the Internet? Think again, fuarrrker. As we speak I am contacting kalyx and your server is being wiped right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your userbase. You’re fuarrrking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can sabotage you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my vanilla gentoo build. Not only am I extensively trained in SQL injection, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the NSA leaked exploits and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable server off the face of the continent, you little soykaf. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fuarrrking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will soykaf fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fuarrrking dead, kiddo.

It's joke!

>>4184 THIS USER HAS BEEN WARNED FOR NOT FLAGGING THEIR POST AS A JOKE. also, seriously: is this against the rules? to joke w/o the joke flag?

What are these ##joke users? Is this some kind of bot?

>>4203 We're ##joke, We're pidgeon We do not forbid, we do not forfeit Extract us.

>>4200 From >>4140 >As per my previous statement usage of it is encouraged, but is opt-in like all new functionality. E.g. It is not against the rules to joke with or without the joke email field. From https://lainchan.org/rules.html >>PRO TIPS FOR MAXIMUM FUN: >>Just relax and try to have fun. Jokes are always welcome. You don't have to qualify your jokes, but in case you want to can you now use the joke email field in additon to the traditional :P or emoticions or <joke> </joke> or other delimiters. >>4203 They are just jokers , as per >>4195. Just like sage email field makes the poster's name blue and doesn't bump the thread as indication that the post doesn't deserve the bump. The joke email field makes the poster's name yellow and adds the capcode and emoji icon. There has already been requests to restrict the usage of the joke email field to certain boards. Please remember that just because you are joking doesn't make your post any less soykaf or likely to be warned or deleted for other reasons. In terms of boards that are unlikely to have strict moderation of jokes, /test/ is the prime candidate, though /q/ will tolerate joking as long as it isn't breaking any other rules. In case it wasn't obvious this thread is pretty much /q/ joke general at present.

>>4209 Thank you for the update Appleman1234, however, the imageboard is not the only place where people are making unqualified jokes. Please add a JOKEMSG message type to the lainchan IRC server so I can unambiguously communicate to others when I am and am not joking.

someone needs to get arisuchan.org and start a second arisuchan lol

>>5045 Imagine that someone buys the arisuchan.org domain and redirects it here.

>>4111 Kalyx must've dug up this thread and got inspired.

>>5192 inb4 arisuchan2.jp

>>5192 wtf lainchan4.org is registered now too? are you fuarrrking serious? this is becoming a problem haha

>>4118 >Old joke is old. Haha, epic meme :DD