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All I feel is despair, I wouldn't consider myself depressed as I don't feel sad rather I'm completely numb. Any books that have themes similar to how I am feeling, I want to relate to someone.

>>6601 >despair >numb Contradictory. Either one counts for depression if continuous throughout years. Seek help or succumb

Welcome to nhk, the short novel i mean, can watch the anime too.

>>6601 Osamu Dazai's No Longer Human if you want the despair aspect The Stranger by Camus is pretty much full on the anomie aspect and the numbness of the protag. Prolly harder to relate ez as it lacks the talking about emotions whereas it's easier to relate to the way of thinking of the protag. Obv Dostoyevsky and the Memories from the Underground. Kafka has the pure absurdism if u feel like the world is pulling ur leg. Personally I'd rec Dazai, easy read and really good if u can relate to him.

I suggest reading the notebooks of A. Camus. Personally, they have helped me very greatly during some bad times. What I've felt is that I was not alone and someone has had these kind of problems before. So if you want to relate to someone, consider checking them out