HOW DO I ACHIEVE PEACE WITH THE FACT I'M A LOSER?

So, I'm a 31 years old NEET loser, never had a gf in my life, last job I got was 5 years ago, it feels a complete utterly loser, people at my age have a nice salary, a wife, house and whatever, in some sense my life if ok, but sometimes the feeling of being a loser is very strong, the sense I'm in the wrong, it makes me feel pretty bad. How can I achieve peace with my lot on life? I just want a sense of peace and instead of sadness and regret, does this feeling goes way?

>>94890 You can't achieve peace because you blame yourself. The entire world is set up to make people fail and destroy themselves. For some there is nothing they can ever do yet they will inevitably fail, and they can be at bitter peace, yet they usually still blame themselves. For others, there was avoidable failure, yet they still messed up badly, and there can never be any peace.

>>94890 >How can I achieve peace with my lot on life? I just want a sense of peace and instead of sadness and regret, does this feeling goes way? If peace is what you want, then your options are death or committing yourself to some deep religious spiritual belief and practicing it daily. Truth is, most people view life as the hard loud part and death as the peace part. >Sometimes the feeling of being a loser is very strong, the sense I'm in the wrong, it makes me feel pretty bad. Everything compounds in difficulty when you get older. Anyone telling you that things get easier when you hit 30+ are lying. Everything gets worse if you didn't hit the core milestones in your 20s. If you did then it gets better as you can leach off the things you already built which is what most people do. >Jobs >Dating >Friends >Money >Skills You spend as much time doing risks and building these as much as possible within your 20s. Given that your in your 30s, these will be significantly harder to build. I recommend getting some adjacent IT certifications and IT degree from a nearby college. Get an easy enough job in IT and don't do anything that will get you in massive debt. Next join some local hobby and social groups near you. If you're fat and ugly then do join your local board game club. If you're decently attractive looking then join some dance classes. If you live in a soykafthole with no dating or social prospects then move the hell out of there. Go to the gym if you're physically unattractive at all. Join a church if you are need of social and emotional support. After a year of doing this, these will compound and you no longer will be a NEET loser and your dating prospects will be much better. You got this OP I believe in you!

>>94890 >people at my age There will be always tons of people who have more and better. Ask yourself are you happy just by looking at your day to day and what makes you unhappy.

>your 31 years old You just barely got over your 20's there is nothing wrong with being 31 and finding your way >never had a gf Honestly I don't know why or the reasons you haven't but at the end of the day lots of girls are toxic life sucking vampires that aren't going to be worth your time at the end of the day so I wouldn't be too worried about this, once you find your own groove in life I'm sure that someone half interesting will come your way, just play it cool OP, nonchalant, calm and don't play too easy to get never get on your hands and knees for a girl that you barely even know that's the best advice I can give you not really knowing anything else about you. >Last job was 5 Years ago There is some retards that haven't even contributed a single ounce to society or ever worked in their life, and no I'm not talking just about genuine retards here because even some people with down syndrome are helping pack shopping bags or they're doing their own sort of work, There are people that just live off the government , benefits , food stamps you name it so at least you've got some previous work experience on your side, I'm just more curious at what is stopping you currently from getting more work right now? >You think you're a loser There is a lot of power in the mind my friend, you telling yourself this sort of soykaf isn't going to get you anywhere, walk outside your house and touch grass, the chances of you being on Lainchan mean you might have some interest in tech, use that to your advantage in anyway possible, every human has got different strengths and weaknesses, work out what you're good at and exploit the soykaf out of it , work out what you're bad at and make it work into a way where you can abuse it to your own advantage. > How can I achieve peace Everyone has their own milestone of achieving peace, being able to sit back happy when you're taking your last few breathes in life and knowing that you made the most out of oppotunties that came your way or just doing the soykaf that you dreamed of doing > sadness and regret stop sitting in your own soykaf like I said earlier DO SOMETHING

>>94890 What are you currently doing with your life? What do you realistically want to do with your life? You will live at least another 30 years. Is having a family and a "normal" life the only way to be happy? If you enjoy solitude, then read the Tao Te Ching. Otherwise find a "why"; everyone can find a "why" when they try hard enough. Read a book about positive psychology to make the "why" happen. 12 Rules for Life by Peterson is written for people like you. The term "losers" also implies the concept of winners. Everyone has a different idea of what a winner is. I think happy people are winners.

Btw, since this happened, my life has gotten a lot better. But it took years until I got to this point.

Look Us workers have money and stuff, but we have to be subjugated to our superiors (stuff than can be tiresome if your boss has a bad day after a bad day) + keep "normal, healthy relationship to the collective" (stiff "wizards" and autists seem to flub up GOOD THING MY JOB HAS NONE)

>>94890 You wait until Friday when the new video drops to tell you it's over There's no peace with the miserable, you improve your lot until something's worth appreciating and then you make peace with that Peace is something that can be learned and trained and studied but it's a harder topic than just having some sense of humor and good taste, it's high-level thing to master

Everybody in the whole world has to do the best they can with what thet have to work with. If nature didn't give you much to work with, it's not your fault. You can still do the best you can with it. And even if that's not very much, you can still be satisfied that you did the best you could under the circumstances.

>>94907 Are you also a Rehab Room viewer? >>94890 Also to the OP I wrote a note which is slightly related to your question. I will quote it here. "A few months ago I had a discussion with my friend from discord, XYZ, about controlling your thoughts. To be honest, it wasn't even a discussion because information was flowing only one way, that is, from XYZ towards me. The crux of the information was "the kind of feelings some thought process leads to". There are a certain ways of thinking that induce certain kind of feelings. This I've especially noticed with my discussions with so-called "Blackpillers" or "Incels". In there thinking, missing out on teenage love is the greatest misery of all ,or, as they like to put it, "You'll never have this". Let's analyse this example deeply. First, is it even worth experiencing? In my view (and that is objective view) there is nothing special about teenage love. Billions of people have lived on this planet and a significant number of those have experienced "teenage love". So does that mean they are something special? Obviously No. Or even I'd say it's the other way around not experiencing it is unique (less frequent) because vast majority of people do. And even if I keep all this "specialness" BS aside. I don't particularly believe that the people who have experienced teenage love have elevated human experience ,or in other words, lived their life more fully. Because all the pleasure that is induced by "Teenage love" can easily be replicated by drugs or escorts, or some other means. But in their views, it can not be substituted. So in a way due to their thinking they miss out on equally pleasurable experiences. (I am not advocating for drugs or escort but we can all agree that there must be some experiences which are somewhat comparable to teenage love). So why can't Incels change their thinking? Maybe it is neuroplasticity. But there is another reason and that is wanting to change. When you are so adamant about having something there is not much that can be done to convince the person that the thing he wants is not worth having other than having it. It is like a kid who is adamant about having a remote controlled car. In his view that is the greatest thing to have and he cannot ever think about living happily without getting a remote controlled car. The only way to quench his thirst is giving him a remote controlled car. And after sometime he will realize there is nothing special about a remote controlled car. The same thing can be said for height, teenage love or marriage. That is why most tall people say height is not important, and people who have experienced teenage love say there is nothing special about it. So why can't a person who has not experienced it feel this way? For me I was also a culprit of thinking that way. But one of my close friends experienced teenage love (which again contributes to the fact that it is a common thing because I don't have many close friends). And he was close enough that I could peak into his life. And all I saw was pathetic. There is nothing special about it. Case closed. So how do you control your thoughts so that you can propel them in right direction? Again If I am being honest, it is a hard thing to do. Because it is especially hard to force your self to think certain way. This is what I was talking about with XYZ? He seems to be good at this. And I also want to be good at that. And I'll have to introspect more to figure out you to force myself in certain way." I think you would have noticed how this note applies to you. You need to introspect what is making you feel like a loser. There are definitely a **lot** of 31 year old who have much worse life than you. So if you could mould your thinking in some way it could probably help.

>>94917 I'm just lamenting the misery that is having a fractured perspective on time, and being hooked into a system of control that reinforces and weaponizes this defect. A sunrise and a sundown look the same to a healthy person, what just happened and what's about to happen is not significantly different. >>94890 (Cont. from my previous post) No, misery does not go away until you change what you're e-moting, misery is just your own sadness accumulated, stacked up and reified. You should be looking for people to learn how to generate peace from if you want to go "there", so you have an actual reference point, a landmark. For example Thich NH. I do not find his instructions to be most actionable but the point is to understand better and training and intellectual tools are like a side dish or appetizer relative to that; supporting tools. You need both and the core part is the more difficult to find. A lecture by TNH: https://youtube.com/watch?v=K3-aJON5780 Lost in Translation: https://www.bilibili.tv/en/video/4787037304133120

People who fixate on missed-out teenage love (or anything else in the past) rob themselves of the opportunity to fix their lives. But fixating on the past is also quite an easy way to live; they don't need to change anything, they already have all the answers. But this lonely road only leads to even more agony. Many also have lived through traumas in childhood, for which they were not resilient enough to handle. And who can blame a child for not having enough experience to handle such situations? Because of that, many are not emotionally separated from their parents (or other influential people from their childhood), even when they don't have contact with them anymore. Those unworked emotions from the past make you repeat bad patterns again and again; getting made aware of the roots of your unconscious patterns will make it possible to consciously change those patterns. Everything gets better when you talk about it; depth psychologists are trained to help you fix things that you swore yourself you would take to the grave, as well as things that you repress (forget for self-protection). Another perspective from a qualified person (with a pledge of secrecy) can change everything. If you only read one book in your life, then read the attached one. It is one of the few books that actually changes lives, and that's not some marketing soykaf.

>>94897 >There is some retards that haven't even contributed a single ounce to society or ever worked in their life, and no I'm not talking just about genuine retards here because even some people with down syndrome are helping pack shopping bags or they're doing their own sort of work, There are people that just live off the government , benefits , food stamps you name it so at least you've got some previous work experience on your side, I'm just more curious at what is stopping you currently from getting more work right now? Not OP. I started working at 14, spending my early years in blue-collar jobs, including construction. Later, I spent a few years as a full-stack developer at one of the Big Four. Ironically, many jobs today are counterproductive to society. We keep producing harmful products—polluted crops, toxic homes, destructive industries, questionable pharmaceuticals, and more. There’s nothing virtuous about being a cog in a broken system. Real contribution isn’t about serving capitalism but about helping people through kindness, compassion, and genuine care.

>>94942 >There’s nothing virtuous about being a cog in a broken system. Real contribution isn’t about serving capitalism but about helping people through kindness, compassion, and genuine care. Too bad many of us are in situations with abusive people who think the opposite. My parents and family think the most important thing a human can do is get an important "valuable" job to society and do that until I die. If I decide to rebel in anyway they become extremely abusive, manipulative, and controlling. They would rather see me working some "socially acceptable seemingly important" job, make no friends or date or help anyone, and LIVE AND HELP THEM INSTEAD. They even tried tracking me and used emotional reasoning to justify it. Being Gen Z is like kicking dead whales down the beach ass you got the most narcissistic controlling helicopter parents in the world and the job market and social/dating market is completely fuarrrked.

>>94943 well maybe.. move out then