Here's some stuff that might help you:
On Your Own Without a Net
https://lainchan.org/%CE%94/src/1754756131783-0.pdf
Feeling Good by Burns
How to Be a Friend by Cicero
Mastering Personal and Interpersonal Skills by Haddon
It's great you have friends that will let you couch surf for a while. It would be great if you returned the favor by doing some cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery-shopping, etc. That and giving them some privacy by, say, reading at the library or walking at the park will go a long way toward not wearing out your welcome.
We live in a sea of memories. When they're bad memories, they can make you miserable and helpless. You can get around that by keeping your mind occupied with some constructive activity in the present. Every time you catch yourself dwelling on the negativity, just "change the channel" to something that's not negative.
It's good that you are trying to ask for help, and there can be help out there. But watch out for "vultures" masked as helpers.
I wish you the best anlife-d I hope you manage to get yourself into a better situation sooner or later.