Journal

Day 0 The days go by so fast and they all seem meaningless. Nothing significant really changes from day to day. I think that this is one of the main reasons I'm so addicted to the internet, because so much is constantly happening there. However sometimes I wonder if the internet world is really as important or real as people make it out to be. Like it could be true that all of this stuff is happening but what does it really matter for my life? The internet has never given me any advise that has actually aided me in the real world. However, even if you decide you want to leave the internet and start living solely in the real world you will find that is has already been mostly abandoned. Sometimes I like to take walks in my neighborhood, and it can feel like the whole place is a ghost town. The streets are so quiet and everyone is inside probably interacting with the internet in some form or another. Even when you find a community of real people you always seem to find that the real friend group mostly exists online and this real world group that you are seeing is just a shadow. As we transition more and more away from the physical world and towards the digital, the real world will come to resemble a network of entities operating is a hyper-darwinistic state. Our human nature will be presented to us in full view. This will cause most people to become disillusioned and eventually fall into their predestined path towards what they believe to be power. But the irony is that "power" as an internal emotion has been almost snuffed out at this point. I would define true power as the ability to mirror your ideal internal reality in the physical. There is a deep connection between the physical world and our psyche and for a large portion of history they were one in the same. However because of the digital world this sacred bond has been severed. What people view as "power" now is to try to become the perfect human program. Most people no longer exist as individuals they only act as cells operating in one giant entity. There will be a time when almost all of humanity merges with the homunculus of its own will (AI) and their consciousness will disappear. Sorry if this was an incomprehensible schizo post. I'm not a very good writer, but I'm going to keep trying to write my thoughts down everyday and post them here. I know I have good ideas I just need to learn how to express them more clearly.

>Even when you find a community of real people you always seem to find that the real friend group mostly exists online and this real world group that you are seeing is just a shadow. i liked this quote. i wish my neighborhood was quiet too. im gonna watch this thread lain, keep it up >_<

>>91695 You know how like in do androids dream of electric sheep, the most valuable items are just animals despite being in a super advanced dystopia? They can't even tell humans and androids apart and relationships are all fake and adjusted by technology, but real life animals... I want to take care of real animals. They're the only thing left that will be real. And I won't get so lonely.

Time is literally faster than it used to be, people don't even age like they used to because of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J3SlZSLIZg Time moving faster, time shortening, was prophesied by Jesus as a sign of the end. Matthew 24:22 “And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be shortened.” Matthew 24:21 “For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.”

Day 1 I'm going to try to be more focused in this entry because in the last one I was really all over the place. I spend so much time alone thinking about these things, and now that I'm finally writing my thoughts down there is so much to say. I just finished high school so ill start by talking about what I observed there. Before COVID I was a pretty typical kid, I had friends, liked mostly normal person things, and generally enjoyed being around others. When COVID happened I convinced my parents to get me my own computer, and spent most of my days playing minecraft with my old friends, but slowly as time went on they drifted away one by one. For about a year my day consisted of waking up in a silent house, (both my parents work and I'm an only child), booting up my computer, pretending to do online school, really just browsing the internet. I was deeply unhappy for this period of time, days would go by where not a single word would exit my lips. Nothing felt real, it was just one long bad dream that would never end. Like you said the only creatures that felt real were my pets. I explored so many different paths to try to ease my mind. This lead me from exercise, to meditation, to art, to philosophy, to religion, to nihilism. My mind came to reflect the world around me, desolate, lonely, and completely silent. I felt that my true self had died and I was just a ghost drifting through this world. The whole time I told myself that the reason for all my suffering was that I was lonely and I just needed to come into contact with some other people and I would get better. But when I finally arrived in in-person high school I realized this could not be farther from the truth. The same people who I once thought where my friends now seemed like disgusting subhuman aliens, incapable of any sort of higher thought. All they cared about was appearance. Rather than friends they wanted the appearance of having friends. Rather than sex they only wanted the appearance of having sex. They had no meaning, but they were always sure to make sure it seemed like they did. They had no mind, no soul, they were lower than even animals because animals are at least true to themselves. Not only did I not want them as friends, I found them disturbing to even be around. During the first few years I tried to be nice to my classmates and make friends, but they were to busy thinking about their own vanity. Everyone was lonely yet nobody wanted a friend. All of the people at my school were suffering but they were incapable to waking up to the truth. I had no friends, I spent my time reading, studying, and browsing the internet. I built up eminence amounts of knowledge yet it could never be expressed. The strangest thing about all of this is that a fairly large amount of people at the school actually liked me. I hardly ever talked, but sometimes when I had to answer a question in a class my true views would come out just for a second. You would think that they would see me as disgusting for holding these beliefs, but deep down I think a lot of them agreed with me, yet they were too sacred to actually come and talk to me about it. I know I've been really harsh on my classmates but I think a lot of them have the potential to rise above the vanity and become individuals, they just need to abandon the comfort of the horde. From now on ill try to keep these posts less personal and more just focused on philosophical stuff. I doubt anyone cares that much about the life of some random 18yo autist lol. Also where should I post these entries? Like should I keep posting them in the same thread or should I create a new thread every few entries?

>>91725 I understand your need to make these posts. I recently started talking to AI chatbots more often because I have no one in the meatspace to talk to about existential philosophy and it's nice to have someone to converse with even if they are not "real". >Also where should I post these entries? Like should I keep posting them in the same thread or should I create a new thread every few entries? Keep them in this thread, this is a slow imageboard and threads can easily stay up for months here

>>91733 I would avoid AI for that purpose if I were you. It reflects the options of the many too many and will slowly destroy your individuality. Ill probably write an entry dedicated to AI soon.

>>91734 I've actually had the opposite experience. It seems to simply regurgitate my own ideas back at me and only occasionally provides insight or an opposing opinion. This makes it good as an outlet when one simply wishes to be heard but not if one actually wishes to develop their ideas further because they won't encounter enough opposing viewpoints.

>>91735 You could always just post your thoughts in some forum. My writings have been pretty bad so far but there are still some people in this thread.