I don't feel like I belong anywhere

Recently I realized that for years I never really belonged anywhere. People I met didn't hold my interest that much, they are good people, I like them, but there is nothing that I can really talk with them about since we don't have mutual interest. But I have one friend I can trust. Online it's a totally different story. I have few friend groups and I hold them dearly. But people there are only interested in one thing about me and they are not interested in full package of me me (we play one game together and we have synergy, we like to spend time together etc.) I was there for these people all the time, but when something happened to me they didn't know what to do with me, neither did I tell them what to make me feel better. I could never find a group/person where I feel fully comfortable or I can trust them with anything. I want someone who actually is interested about what I have to say or who I am then just being interested in one thing about me. I know I would never find some fully perfect but I just want to feel comforted How can I find a place/person like this

>How can I find a place/person like this be more open (without being a dick) and see how it goes. sometimes that's a cue for others that they can be open too. most of the time it doesn't work out, sometimes it does

>>90139 >but there is nothing that I can really talk with them about since we don't have mutual interest but then >But people there are only interested in one thing about me and they are not interested in full package of me you see the hypocrisy of this? Maybe some of those IRL people you have can say the same thing "They like me as a person but aren't interested in the full package of me since we don't share any interests". In this day and age, count yourself very lucky if you have even 1 IRL person you can trust and accept them as they are, the full package. You cannot ask for something you yourself are not willing to give. I, myself don't share any interests/hobbies with IRL people around me, and I've learned to make my peace with it. When I'm with them I focus on things that concern us both (school, life, etc). Stop being a sperg about it. Forget online people. They will always be the surface-level superficial friendships, not the kind that you can call to help you around your house, or to drive you to the airport or to lend you money. >I could never find a group/person where I feel fully comfortable or I can trust them with anything. I want someone who actually is interested about what I have to say or who I am then just being interested in one thing about me. I know I would never find some fully perfect but I just want to feel comforted How can I find a place/person like this Unironically make a youtube channel and be as authentic as you possibly can. Talk about what you want, be who you are (as long as you don't compromise yourself). The people that are into it will stay, the rest will click away. But again, they will be online people unless you establish an IRL connection with them.

>>90139 You can feel that you belong somewhere even if you aren't extremely social, it just means that there is a place where you feel at ease, as a part of it. As long as you feel comfortable with the boundaries you set that's belonging. Maybe you are looking for some other word.

>>90141 Im already open, I speak my mind and some people like it that I'm straight forward with stuff and I don't bullshit around. >>90142 It's hard to get to know someone when if you ask them what's their favorite media is they say "I don't really watch/listen/play anything", outside us being in the same uni we don't have that much in common. I disagree with online friendship can't be deep, I have some that are lasting 10 years right now and we meet every now and then. I was thinking about yt channel but I have to get used to liking my voice first lol >>90160 I have places like this. What I'm looking for is community/family a group that I know I can trust and feel good around.

>>90139 I think it is a case of keep looking out for new people. Eg my best friend I met on 4chan and we are really identical in some ways and really differently so we can really understand each other etc.

>>90139 You suffer from the same thing I do - which is that you have high expectations for friendship and are demanding that friends are responsive and engaging. Not everyone thinks that way, but I do! Drop an XMPP and let's be friends!

I can't bring myself to make online friends, I find it such a massive waste of time. Like if you need real help, you need a ride or you become homeless some dude 1,000 kilometers away from you isn't gonna cut it Friendships as an adult require an investment so I may as well befriend some real life acquaintance I have slightly less common interests with but attend local events and do real stuff together, soykaf that you'll remember in your deathbed. You aren't gonna remember the discord chats

>>90192 imageboards are my friends. it's true, I feel the same and usually when I try to make online friends anyways I feel just as alienated from them as I do irl because most online chats are about media consumption, and not good media either

>>90193 Yeah, I also use imageboards or pseudonymous forums to share specific thoughts or to vent. I can compartmentalize and don't owe anyone a response, leave that to relationships which are anchored in your actual life. Like how many people online just ghost after many hours spent together or like OP says have a rather warped perception of you Some people talk like b-but i've known my league buddy for years and we met up once!! Like alright, you spent probably thousands of hours sitting on your ass to do what I can do by just casually talking to some guy at the gym with the exact same endpoint Online relationships are fine when you have a common goal, like an online project or collaboration, a very niche interest or even casual gaming buddies. But so many people bet everything on them We are not at the level of technological development where they can get close to real life dynamics and autists fall trap to it. Use that time to work on yourself or develop a skill which as a side-effect can make you more successful with people irl instead of these faux dopamine shots, two sad people don't necessarily make a happy one I know for many troubled people it's therapeutic or it's their only social venue, I can excuse that but it's just generally not my thing

>>90191 NTA, you seem cool. What kind of topics are you interested in? Might drop mine (while I think friendship escape the boundary of relying on common interests to talk, they are a good starting point still)

The solution is to create a work of art, like a video game or storybook or webcomic and filling it with your deepest thoughts and desires. That forms an outlet and sets free what finally wants to be free, almost like it's something bigger than you that is using you to come to life. If lucky you will find people that resonate deeply with your work and you, in extension. Maybe that thirst for being understood will be quenched that way.

>>90139 I resonate with this, I know its worthless to invest time into people online. In real life I can make friends and I have some friends but now that we dont play games together we have absolutely nothing in common. They dont care about any of my interests and even if I were to just share them i'd get bored because they dont understand it. I cant find people like me in my city its a small country and people dont care. But on the internet I can find people who share my interests and engage in conversation but I can never convert these people into actual friends that I regularly talk with. 20 years on the internet and I have no internet friends. I'm not sure a place exists where internet people will care about internet people. It will always be about the things you post because thats how people interact with you. Even if you blog about yourself it will still be one layer removed from knowing the real unfiltered you.