Managing bipolar disorder without medication

In a rare moment of lucidity today I'm accepting that I have bipolar. I was diagnosed with it by a psychiatrist about two years ago and she prescribed medication but I said fuarrrk that and stopped seeing her and never picked up the meds. Then started seeing a different psych who said I didn't have it. But goddamn I definitely do. The last four years I've had at least one full blown psychotic or manic episode each year. Right now I'm terribly depressed. I absolutely refuse to be medicated though. What can I do so I don't die from this bullshit brain chemistry?

The issue with not being medicated is that in a rare moment of lucidity you finally accepted you are bipolar after two years. How many more moments of lucidity will you need to come up with a plan to work around your ups and downs? Will they come again? Do you know what its like to be at baseline and thus have a clear idea of what is expected of you even when you are not? If you were to take the medication for a period of one to two years these things could be guaranteed. No professional is going to recommend you stop taking your meds because they can't be sure that once you stop your suicidality or harmful behaviours wont just return and their goal is to keep you safe. Coming off of it is its own hell and struggle. But if you want to not die from this you need to be able to form and trust in a way of thinking about things that is independent or transcends your emotions and impulses. Learn to have goals you stick to even when it is not fun. People complain the meds make them flat but thats the very benefit, when you are flat you suddenly have to discover entirely new reasons for doing things and ways of doing them. It still isn't normal, a normal person isn't flat. Emotions inform the goals and their personal reasoning and logic see it through even when emotions die down. But if you live in extremes you can't find balance without taking a journey to the other side. My personal anecdotal and maybe even harmful belief is that meds do not have to be forever in cases where someone can still think rationally. Meds are there to guarantee a lucidity like you found today for long enough to understand and develop systems for working with ones illness eventually. If you have always been bipolar you have no part of your brain you can reference with regards to how you might make a decision if you weren't manic or depressed. If that doesn't make sense for contrast lets say I was a normal but self reflective person who suddenly became bipolar somehow (in adulthood), there is the greater potential now to be acutely aware I am in a heightened or lower state and be able to see how it is affecting my decision making and interpretation of my environment. I have ways of talking to myself that did not develop in a state of always heightened emotions. This all won't really help you if you are having a psychotic episode. Only you know the severity of the condition, and I don't see a good solution that isn't take your meds. What I am saying though is that contrary to popular belief meds don't have to be forever, I myself and some others I know ceased medication for our various mental problems not because we thought they were hurting us nor because we thought we were cured but we had developed enough tools while on them to weather new storms. It isn't easy, in this world it will always still be a disability. But if at the end of the day you feel like you unmedicated is who you are and you want to find a secret third path, medication is still an invaluable tool for that. You have to give it enough time though to see and analyze patterns of behavior you have, make adjustments, find new reasons to do things like I said. You can't just do it for a few months and go "I tried it and didn't like it" because then it probably really is just hurting you even more. Think of it just like any other drug, it puts you in an altered state. A few years in an altered state really gives you some perspective.

>>84987 I have a different diagnosis (it's complicated) but NAC (the powder is acidic and not good for your teeth, capsules are better.), Theanine (it's hard to consume it enough from just green tea), passion flower extract and omega-3 may help. Be sure to get high quality omega-3 if you decide to try it. It's best to buy something that has small amount of vitamin E or some other antioxidant (my understanding is that it keeps it from becoming rancid). Reishi also helps me with sleep. Also, note that passion flower/passiflora extract has interaction with all sedatives, opiates, benzos and z-drugs and you can't take them on the same day. I also consume very little coffee or other sources of caffeine. I have noticed that also going outside daily helps a lot. Even if that means just going for a short stroll. You need to also find good strategies for managing stress because stress makes all my mental health problems much worse. Lastly, if you can, you should definitely try CBD oil because I think it's pretty good for stabilizing mood and thought processes. >meds It may not be a realistic but... I made a compromise and I only use meds if I, or someone, else notices that I have symptoms. I recommend making a written promise. Most (if not all?) of the mood stabilizers and antipsychotics are horrible! My advice is to avoid the antipsychotics that make you extra sleepy or that can cause significant weight gain. I gained 25 kg in about 8 months after I started taking Zyprexa (5 mg dose because higher doses made me non-functional due to excessive sedation). Avoid Seroquel, Zyprexa and Risperidone if you can! If you decide that you might want to try medication, I suggest trying out one of the so-called "3rd generation antipsychotics". I think Rexulti is the best one that I have used but note that it's crazy expensive and not all insurances cover it. I think Latuda is also very good for most people but I prefer Rexulti. I used to be on Perphenazine before it. At 4-8 mg dose Perphenazine was tolerable but higher doses cause restless legs syndrome. But on the other hand it didn't cause any weight gain or as much sedation as some of the other drugs. Rxulti and other "3rd generation antipsychotics" are partial-agonists on dopamine D2-receptor and I think that's why they are less sedating and they don't "zombify" you as much. >mood stabilizers I would personally recommend that you avoid Lithium because it can be nasty for your kidneys. I know that meds aren't for everyone and they are certainly not a silver bullet but I think you should try them for 2-4 weeks and if they don't help you, you can just stop taking them. Sorry if it feels like I'm being pushy but you said that you haven't tried meds. Also, I know I earlier said that my diagnosis is "complicated". I mean that I'm officially diagnosed with schizophrenia but my psychiatrist said that he would diagnose me with schizoaffective disorder but he then said that he doesn't believe that it's that different from schizophrenia, so he put schizophrenia on my papers.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. >terribly depressed We are never taught the deep ways to explore the hidden cause of our depression. So let's have it here. Explain how do you feel and what you hate about the flesh, your existence, the world, the air and the people. The fears, the disgust, the laziness, the apathy, the pain. >no meds It's worth the try but the current society will insist that you get them. Admitedly a true mental disorder makes life complicated and anti-psychotic meds do work, but it doesn't solve the source of the issue and may feel like cheating. They're good if you need to fight against a surge during a limited period of the year.

You have three choices. 1. Find a medication that works for you. 2. Find a therapist who works for you. 3. Continue to suffer with untreated bipolar disorder. [shrug]

>>85042 4. make your own medication

>>84992 I'll admit that this is good advice. But the things I wanna do in life require that I not be walking around with a bipolar diagnosis and medication. It is by a stroke of luck and bureaucratic inaptitude that my medical records (in my home country) have no mention of psychosis, hospitalization, etc. You makke it seem like someone with bipolar is incapable of honest (or like actual?) self-reflection, wihch I don't think is true. All I need from myself is to not be psychotic and not depressibvely hibernate. I think there just has to be some way to do that without medication. >>85025 Thank you. I already intuited caffeine might not be the best for me but I will try the rest of your recommendations. Somnehow a habit that has stuck (maybe a relic from some sort of episode) is eating a can of sardines everyday which is maybe weird but means I get a whole lot of omega-3. Have written it in my diary: NAC capsules, theanine, passion flower extract, reishi. I hated my (brief) time on seroquel and risperidone, and am determined not to have that again. Thank you for your advice. >>85031 Whenever I try to reflect on the source of my depression it changes based on immediate circumstance. When I was a kid (sub age 13) I was depressed and couldn't explain it. As a teen I thought it was because I hated where I lived, the people I knew, my parents. A little older I thought because I'd horribly mistreated people in the past. A guilt sort of thing. Then maybe it was because I never 'had a community.' Now I'm less sure. On a visceral level I hate being a conscious person with creaturely needs and urges: I hate that I need to eat and soykaf and piss and cum. I hate the world with all its inequities and injustices and the seemingly willful blindness of everyone. I hate myself for being weak and undisciplined and falling into old habits and routienss and unmotivated, lazy. I hate that I care. Really its just that though. I hate that I am a conscious person. That I have tothink and am aware. I would prefer to have been born a mindless animal. A cat maybe or a bird or a pig.

>>85056 >Whenever I try to reflect on the source of my depression it changes based on immediate circumstance. When I was a kid (sub age 13) I was depressed and couldn't explain it. As a teen I thought it was because I hated where I lived, the people I knew, my parents. A little older I thought because I'd horribly mistreated people in the past. A guilt sort of thing. Then maybe it was because I never 'had a community.' Now I'm less sure. On a visceral level I hate being a conscious person with creaturely needs and urges: I hate that I need to eat and soykaf and piss and cum. I hate the world with all its inequities and injustices and the seemingly willful blindness of everyone. I hate myself for being weak and undisciplined and falling into old habits and routienss and unmotivated, lazy. I hate that I care. Really its just that though. I hate that I am a conscious person. That I have tothink and am aware. I would prefer to have been born a mindless animal. A cat maybe or a bird or a pig. What does happen when you are at your worse? Is it just suffocating depression or bouts of manic behavior and being excessive? Depression subdues the will. Joy helps fight depression but it's hard for people who may not have a proper electro-chemical balance of functional neuronal system to get all the good serotonin surges. Constant low-key anxiety will also contribute to feeding the looming depression. Do you feel guilty? For example, guilty of letting time go by, not doing anything productive? Have you tried to find that special spot where you can actually enjoy just letting nothing happen, perhaps moving out of your living place for that? Either alone or in a place full of people who seem so bizarrely entitled to go somewhere with something on their mind. What is the reason behind your choice of the fly in the picture? >>84987

Don't try to go without meds for bipolar disorder, it doesn't work long-term 'cause at some point you will have a manic episode that fuarrrks up your life. I know, it happened to me and I lost the band I was in (we traveled across the US and Europe, so successful enough), my apartment, and got into about $15k worth of debt. Don't be like me. Yeah, meds suck but the alternative being a sword of Damocales above you isn't worth it.

>>85180 its called bi-winning