Positivity

I've been thinking a lot about positivity lately and I'm wondering if any of y'all have answers or similar thoughts. I'm happy to hear you if you wanna defend negativity also, if you have logical points to make (ironically please have a positive attitude about it :) ) - personally, as someone who as reluctantly embraced positivity I've seen huge improvements in my life in relationships and mood. But sometimes I worry that it's not honest. I'll get into conversations where I have to constantly hold back from saying things because I don't want to drop negativity on the conversation (it's not that I'm being/feeling negative, necessarily. I just feel like on many topics the first observations that come to mind are negative. Why are we drawn to complain, criticize and dismiss so quickly?) - also in my thoughts, I try to stay positive, and I've gotten better at ignoring ANTs but when it comes to worldview stuff or searching for a better picture of the truth, this kind of shuts down. I'm content to sort of live in a fantasy world when it comes to my day-to-day*, but it's hard to rationalize positivity when thinking about the real world. This goes against my impulse to step back from something and figure out how it really works - I guess filtering out negativity also filters out valid thoughts and makes it harder to productively deliberate. - there are clearly cases where believing false narratives can make people happier, but where do you draw the line? How much does the truth actually matter if it makes you unhappy and you can't really influence it? I feel like a lot of extremely cynical people have just come to this conclusion, drawn some solid boundaries around their lives (morals and priorities) and decided to be unfailingly, ignorantly positive (and maybe it works for them?). But there are also a lot of people with a very positive or naive worldview who don't really think about positivity at all. *this fantasy world where I'm happy and popular and go on dates is self-affirming, by the way. Fake it 'til you make it has helped me a lot so it's not just some silly thing I do, not that I'm trying to sell you on it. I guess I'm pretty convinced that negativity is powerful, and I've totally seen it suck the life out of conversations and relationships, but I also wonder if I need it to stay sane. related: https://www.wired.com/2014/11/be-mean-online/

I used to be an overly positive person myself, I'm still a positive person mostly because it'd be stupid to dwell on negative thoughts. But thinking back it might of been because I was in reality a really cynical person just compensating. I want to be able to be happy when something good happens but I don't want to be ignorant of my problems like I used to be in the past.

>>8448 As someone who is overly positive and an eternal optimist, I feel it is not always the best choice. I feel like less me and unable to express myself. It feels really dumb, but I frequently hear I Heart Huckabees in my head, echoing, How am I not myself? It is natural to have aversions. People with refined taste and good ideas tend to be discerning. The positive qualities of Virgo can manifest as being thoughtful, analytical, and observant but are negatively manifested as criticism and living inside one's head. Early on, I had a naive worldview. It became negative, and CBT made me feel numb. If your thoughts control your feelings and you can contextualize any event or the world at large any way your want, it puts a lot of weight on you. I didn’t know what to feel anymore or how to feel. I choose to be positive in spite of being depressed because I'm convinced that the future will be different. The weight of the truth is too much and if I think long enough about the situation I am adverse to, I always end up feeling guilty or ashamed for feeling negative. Negativity does suck the life out of things. Positive people, or at least people who can contextualize things with some perspective are more fun to be around. People often get the feeling you are being insincere, though. >this fantasy world where I'm happy and popular and go on dates is self-affirming, by the way. Fake it 'til you make it has helped me a lot so it's not just some silly thing I do, not that I'm trying to sell you on it. Are you not happy? Do you not feel popular? Were you not at one point?

i err on the side of pessimism most of the time but this thread is a good subject for me in general. in defense of a negative outlook it's useful in moderation, like many things, but will be bad for you in too large a dose i remember reading a long time ago about a tennis player who would use his negative thoughts to his advantage. essentially the days before a match he would envision himself fúcking up horribly in every way, and when the event came he was better prepared to handle it if he did perform poorly. i personally tend to let my negative thoughts take over though, and i think i'm pretty close to anxiety/depression type shít but i've never gone to a doc so i'm hesitant to say outright. but i digress i have pretty low self esteem in general due to that so i guess just a caution, i second guess myself and obsess at least a bit over my decisions and the possible consequences of my actions, this has good and bad effects. good is that i can look back and see how to improve while i'm focusing on what went wrong but bad is that as i said it tends to put my head in a bad state of mind. i'm pretty satisfied with the way i am now though, i look at excessive positivity as just lying to myself a lot. not that being to negative isn't also lying to myself but i guess that's just the poison i chose.

I am by nature a very pessimistic and skeptic person, but i try as much i can to not only see the positive things in bad things to learn from them and also to rather than imagine negative scenario outcomes i try to envision positive things despite knowing how unlikely they are. Friends of mine who seem to deal with life rather easy kept telling me to think positive and its a nice change after 20 years of depression. Negative and positive thoughts can become feedback loops over longer terms, thats why its important not to be too negative. If you think only of negative outcomes then you will be less likely to put in effort in things and works as a self fulfilling prophecy. I certainly hate bullsoykaf and there is a lot of it out there in the world, i dont brush things under the rug, but i dont bring up negative things to people unless i have to either. People dont like negative things, there is certainly a lot of them who bury their heads in the sand, but i dont just let things slide when there is some obvious negative aspect that people want to ignore. Either way for those of you who view the world with the soykaf stained googles, maybe atleast try something else for a change, what do you have to lose.