(untitled)

Is anyone else in a situation like this? Where the preassure and isolation of knowing the truth makes you wonder if it would be better if you could do away with it all and be normal, but you know that suffering stems from what you perceive to be normalcy. When you have no idea whats going on, why you are chosen for this, and whats at the end of it.

I have experience extreme happiness, extreme suffering and everything in between. I have met the lord himself. But the more answers i find, just leads me to more questions. I am always back at square 1. I just wish i could know someone similar.

I think you're over thinking it.

Sometimes I wish I could just turn my brain off, accept one flavor of dogmatic bullshit or the other (whether peddled as "science" or openly promoted as religion), and finally be able to connect with others on a meaningful level. But doing so feels like I'm selling my soul.

>>83644 >Where the preassure and isolation of knowing the truth makes you wonder if it would be better if you could do away with it all and be normal, but you know that suffering stems from what you perceive to be normalcy. I eat red pills and soykaf out white ones. You're gonna be okay if you're strong. Good luck!

>>83647 I agree. At every chance I have to "connect" to a human being I have doors be shut, even if the indivual is as "disturbed" or closed off as I am. I have met people, and enjoyed the company of people. But I don't know if they have enjoyed the company of me. I am consistently scared of being isolated yet so drawn to being isolated.

life is made of suffering. zen is a path to enlightenment.

This is the chief struggle I have right now. Unfortunately relating with lains only goes so far in calming it. I have tried to 'fix it' and tried the advice of others, and it doesn't really work. I don't feel like others know this feeling because around me I only ever see groups of people altogether, studying or (usually) procrasinating. It makes me feel worse. I try say at least I have an interesting perspective of the world through this, but sometimes I feel I'd rather trade that for the resolution of this feeling, if I had a way to.

>>83646 I have nothing to do but think all day. My life is very boring :( >>83647 ikr. I wish it was possible to be like this but also be like a normal person >>83649 I think its a good idea to trust no one to get by in life. People say its unhealthy but it just becomes common sense after a while >>83650 silence secular "buddhist" >>83651 Maybe theres a light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps at the end you'll be happy being alone or find someone you relate to Also my email is stranger@ctrl-c.club if anyone cares :)

>>83644 The good thing about seeing clearly is that you can be one of the few people that can check his own biases and communicate a concept fairly if you're good at speaking. The truth hurts, but when we are constantly steeped in it the calluses and scar tissue on our brain shape us into something else entirely. >>83649 >I don't know if they have enjoyed the company of me I'm pretty sure most people see me as an obnoxious, performative asshole and as a result I tend to not talk to people unless I'm forced into it, despite enjoying conversations to a limited amount. It is like kicking dead whales down the beach waiting for life to happen to you and pissing your youth away, but trying anything else right now feels instinctually wrong >>83652 >Maybe theres a light at the end of the tunnel That's all you can really hope for. Trying to game time usually results in hasty and embarrasing outcomes.