Self Validation

How does one not have to worry about self validation? I don't use social media (besides chans) because I hate the idea of being self centered. It just annoys me when people can't care at all for the people around them and get off at the idea of showing people a falsehood of their lives. Despite this, whenever I post something on any form of communication, I want people to respond. I know if they don't respond there is most likely a good reason for it, though I feel disapointed when no one does. When I post something, or send someone a message, I check back constantly, waiting for a reply. Is this something that is natural to humans? The need to be validated? Have you guys ever felt this way and if not, how do you get over the urge for self validation?

You talk about a lot of things that don't really seem closely related in my opinion. >How does one not have to worry about self validation? By realising that it's worth nothing. >I don't use social media (besides chans) because I >hate the idea of being self centered. My world is completely self centered. What can I do to make my life as enjoyable as possible? What makes me happy. (still I don't use social media) >It just annoys me when people can't care at all for >the people around them and get off at the idea of >showing people a falsehood of their lives. Why does this annoy you? That's just how a lot of people are. Just stop caring about people you shouldn't give a shiat about. >Despite this, whenever I post something on any >form of communication, I want people to respond. I >know if they don't respond there is most likely a >good reason for it, though I feel disapointed when >no one does. You mean like any normal human being wants a answer to a question? No soykaf! >When I post something, or send someone a >message, I check back constantly, waiting for a reply. You should slow don't your life probably and realise, that checking your post all the time is a waste of time. Check it just once a day. That will increase the likelihood of someone having answered since the last time. >Is this something that is natural to humans? Probably. But autistically checking your post every minute for a relpy is not ok. Get a hobby. >The need to be validated? Have you guys ever felt >this way and if not, how do you get over the urge >for self validation? Everyone wants validation, but when there is no validation and you expected some you need to analyse why you didn't get any. uhhhhh... yeah whatever. Do some sports you chubby cooont. 90% chance you are female. xD why the fuack am I wasting my time answering some random person on the internet? O . o have a good day lainon

>>8221 >>8223 >By realizing that it's worth nothing. I think this is correct, although I definitely understand why someone would struggle with this. I sometimes do, after all. At the same time, the feeling that you aren't validated may point to insufficiencies in your social environment (not that it's really an environment; social connections are just highly complicated and easier to deal with when abstracted). It kind of depends on whether you see human "needs" as real needs or just suggestions. For you, is "humanity" something inspiring or something revolting? Is your goal to become "fully human" or to transcend "humanity"? >90% chance you are female. xD I'm almost certain this isn't a gendered issue. Also, OP, compulsive behaviors and obsessive thoughts are often the results of having nothing else going on in one's life, as I understand it. If you give yourself something else to think about, the problem may well go away. In fact, if you can manage it, you may want to take a break from image boards especially. They have a way of perpetuating negative patterns of thought, possibly more as a result of the kinds of people who frequent them than of any inherent technical features. Having said all of this, I would remind you that I'm the kind of person who posts here and holds an almost spiritual reverence for a Japanese cartoon (SEL), and I didn't actually back up my claims/suspicions with any kind of reputable source.

>>8221 >everyone not just ignoring this to invalidate OP

>>8226 I thought about this when I posted. I think that would have been funny in the end. >>8225 Maybe I shouldn't post on image boards if effects me. Maybe I should focus on other things, maybe I'll focus on programming and stuff. I ususally post here to get these kinds of answers but also wish for discussion around the issues I bring up. Maybe people just don't want to talk about these things.

>>8221 Have you ever played Deus Ex 1? >Morpheus: Human beings feel pleasure when they are watched. I have recorded their smiles as I tell them who they are. >JC Denton: Some people just don't understand the dangers of indiscriminate surveillance. >Morpheus: The need to be observed and understood was once satisfied by God. Now we can implement the same functionality with data-mining algorithms. >JC Denton: Electronic surveillance hardly inspires reverence. Perhaps fear and obedience, but not reverence. >Morpheus:God and the gods were apparitions of observation, judgement and punishment. Other sentiments towards them were secondary. >JC Denton: No one will ever worship a software entity peering at them through a camera. >Morpheus: The human organism always worships. First, it was the gods, then it was fame (the observation and judgement of others), next it will be self-aware systems you have built to realize truly omnipresent observation and judgment. >JC Denton: You underestimate humankind's love of freedom. >Morpheus: The individual desires judgment. Without that desire, the cohesion of groups is impossible, and so is civilization. This was valid decades ago, if not 2000 years ago and will remain valid a long time. Homo sapiens sapiens is a social attention whore. It is hard wired into a social species. Sometimes I just wish to be a Neanderthal.

>>8221 Love and support from friends and loved ones. Validating is 100% natural for people. Lonliness basically wrecks your brain in so many ways. I absolutely understand lain and don't think it's not normal beause it is. As for getting I can't help you there.

>>8221 Question yourself if you're looking for the validation of people you don't care about. You don't have to care about the validation of individuals that are irrelevant to you... Or incoherent to who you are. Find who you are by merging who do you want to be and who you're actually able to become. Then you'll realize who do you want to approach and receive the validation from. If the need to be validated is so human, we better choose wisely the people we'll let to do it.

>>8250 No matter how you excuse being anti-social. You cannot escape society's judgement, even if you try to ignore it happening. Also you confuse validation with appealing. You can still receive validation from a person you don't want to appeal to.

>When I post something, or send someone a message, I check back constantly, waiting for a reply. Is this something that is natural to humans? The need to be validated? I'd say it's completely natural. You choose to post something for others to see, so of course you want to know that others hear you and even better yet, understand you. I'm the same way, but I've decided to throw out the pretense of being "not self centered" because I've realized that I would be lying to myself. Outside of using it for co-workers and friends, I personally find things like Facebook to be downright boring. But I'd like to one day make a post that people thumb up because that's the main way you'd really get any feedback when you have pals that are in entirely different states or nations.

>>8258 With a lil triggering from my lains >>8254 I'm not anti-social since I can be socially functional with people I don't care about. At least sociopathically. So no need for excuses. Why would I care about judgements from people I don't care about either? What does appealing has to do with my comments or this thread at all? What's the point about your inner discussion big time about? >>8254 >>8258 If Mentat was being meaningful, why don't you go into detail about it¿ WIch would it be the mindset to get along with self-validation considering his statements about "cannot escape society's judgement" or "being concerned about the judgement of whoever"? I mean. Have children and teach them how to ignore "THE SOCIETY JUDGEMENT". In 30 years you'll have any judging individual left alone.

>>8260 >At least sociopathically. So no need for excuses. Ah another one of those self diagnosed guys. Well which scenario is more likely? The social people ostracise you and make you an outcast, or you change the majority of humanity? As much as I hate the "judging" Jungian personality type which is pure soykaf, you still have to admit that you are about to one up Don Quixote in tilting at windmills.

I rarely need validation these days. I still do but its diminished massively from what it was before. like anything, practice makes perfect. First you recognize it as a problem, two you truly believe needing self validation is bad. Now you wait and constantly remind yourself until your brain has subconsciously internalized it and doesnt do it anymore. i think the issue with any of these "i do this too much" "i want to be like this" questions is a fuarrrked up assumption that what you choose to think is somehow a set thing you cant change. And then another assumption that these things change via some instant mental breakthrough. Rarely do people change in a day. we dont choose to do anything we dont want. You seek validation because you want validation. So you dont need to stop seeking validation you need to stop wanting it. You need to have a good many conversations with your brain convincing it that only bad comes out of such behaviour. However also know most people seek validation, and operate under the assumption others do the same. Careful what you wish for.

>>8268 I just wish there was both quality and a small bump in posting frequency. Will pick up where we left off: How does it help OP if someone tells him to get his validation only from people mattering to him? Be it on an equal level or something else. Clearly his desire is there, saying he should only get it from certain individuals is no answer if it is something human. Disclosing this as my post >>8233 My point being this might be just hardwired as we are social mammals. Even though leftovers of a few Neanderthal genes can be found in some significant amount of humans today. Neanderthals had a smaller social circle than Homo sapiens. Which would explain why I don't use Facebook which is highly concentrated soykaf to me. So if we could discuss this for a moment: https://www.scotsman.com/future-scotland/tech/neanderthals-were-not-stupid-just-a-bit-anti-social-1-489625

>>8271 >dat whole link That's pretty neat actually. Especially this line; >Neanderthals seem to have had little interest in their appearance, compared to modern humans, a sign that group identity was not something they considered to be important. >"Modern humans were obsessed with this. They were spending a lot of time and energy on how they looked. They cared more about how they looked and were more style conscious." It kinda explains a lot of aspects of culture, really. And it makes me feel like I'm just some unfit human, honestly.

>>8272 Thank you a lot, whilst I'm not a poltard there seem to be indivduals with up to 20-33% Neanderthal DNA: [1] http://science.sciencemag.org/content/343/6174/1017 Which can have significant effects: [2] https://www.the-scientist.com/daily-news/effects-of-neanderthal-dna-on-modern-humans-30787 >quote: "Being a self-described night owl and being prone to daytime napping were both traits positively influenced by Neanderthal variants, as were loneliness, low mood, and smoking." I would love to know if some of those character traits caused by these genes could explain certain individuals just not favouring the world of the Homo sapiens we are forced to live in today. Maybe some professions even favour people having these traits. Brooding or an introvert thinker must not be a bad thing. Tesla was quite lonely as well, his only social contact being a pidgeon. So jumping back to what OP was asking: Yes a human trait, of the Homo sapiens, but not the Neanderthal. If only scientists would have done full genome sequencing of famous musicians, artists and engineers..

>>8274 I'll have to read those links in greater detail but the idea of a person having potential Neanderthal DNA is one hell of a thought. While they say, "White European" is there any research into which Euros (and I'm assuming Asians) have the most Neanderthal DNA by nationality? >I would love to know if some of those character traits caused by these genes could explain certain individuals just not favouring the world of the Homo sapiens we are forced to live in today. It's an uneducated guess, but I would say, yes. I see some groups of people who are way more social as a whole than others. Drawing from my own life, American blacks are very social and family focused. Then you have the more seemingly anti-social mixed people who often get called "wanting to be white" or whatever. But with that kind of information, is it just possible that those kids from interracial relationships got some Neanderthal DNA? Or maybe it's just a fluke and the kid was just going to be anti-social anyways? Hard to say. Of course, we have to say not all people behave in a certain way but there are trends. And to be completely blunt, I usually see whites or biracial people reject Facebook or anything similar. But I'm not sure how to communicate this without sounding like I cam from the polboard despite being biracial.