how to deterritorialize

there is a force of deterritorialization constantly fracturing the bounds of my ego, but my mind obsessively recodes it into fear and autistic circularity -- for example, i suddenly realize i can't tell where my hand is or how its moving and, for less than a second, i slip outside of my body and am overwhelmed with dread before moving my hand, realizing it is attatched to my arm and returning to my body. sometimes this happens very quickly (a fraction of a second) and sometimes it comes in waves -- i'm stuck in this weird place of neurotic confusion. how do i transmute my autism into a schizophrenic force of horizontal creativity and joy?

>cant tell where my hand is Proprioception. Do you fall over if you're in a dark room? If not that then it seems to be some disconnect in simple knowledge. >or how it's moving Physical autonomy. Have you done any drugs? >I slip outside of my body and am overwhelmed with dread before moving my hand, realizing it is attached to my arm and returning to my body This sounds a bit like depersonalization. This can also occur from panic attacks. Sounds like you should see a doctor.

>>81250 i dont do drugs and im a little clumsy, but i don't fall

>>81247 why is retardation mentioned twice?

>>81247 Do you play video games? Do you have frequent lucid dreams?