where can I find online friends?

Like really.. where can I find enjoyable people? people that will be wiiling to keep up the dialogue, people who'se non normal person? people that will tell me about their day, people that have some interesting choice in music?

i am extremely devoted to maths and computer science as i equally am to suicide. I am working on an extremely big project so if you want to exchange information about one of those 2 things you can add me on discord "pugmalíōn"

>>81131 fuarrrk im so lonely as well but in my opinion i have so much reponsibilities right now and I got used to some solitude until it's the right time to chat with other lains. The IRC can only be good if you actually learnt how to make people engaged talking especially about themselves so you build bonds with them slowly. I don't use Discord, nor have Reddit or anything. I'd just be there on IRC later and make some decoy XMPP account so I can see whos gonna really talk to me. idk why im posting this but im just sharing my thoughts which i hope they can help.

>>81133 Yes they do help Demeere. about responsibilities.. well they don't really make things better in a long term as I've experienced. And I just can't deal with that absolute loneliness, it's too hard to be with myself all of the time

>>81132 pugmalíōn do you have any other communication methods other than DIscord?

>>81137 not for now....what do you use ?

>>81136 >it's too hard to be with myself all of the time average modern slave can't even sit with himself without losing his mind lmao >>81132 > as i equally am to suicide. apparently not very since you are still here >>81131 >people that will be wiiling to keep up the dialogue that's not how this works. Either you hit it off or you don't. You can't force that lmao. Either way conversing on the internet doesn't play by the same rules as irl

>>81139 it is functional suicidal mode cutie and i will show you all.I will become the most powerful lain this world has ever seen!

>>81139 >modern slave do you really think that's the case? I mean, you don't have any thoughts that it may be more complex than that? Like some sort of abuse, trauma? Not to be toxic but dawn, just modern slave don't categorize people like that...

>>81132 I can't find your username:")

>>81143 try "pugmalion" ,sry </3

>>81144 not saying that I'm stalking, but you're offline...

My primary interests are type theory/programming language theory, compiler architectes, game dev, mangas, breakcore/ambient dnb. I am active on irc as "mechap" and matrix as"@mechap:matrix.org". You can also email me at "mechap@i2pmail.org" or "mechap@cock.li".

>>81147 ughh i still need to register my username on irc by setting my own email server lol. Also what's really special of using cock.li or i2pmail instead of your own domain? (i know that's out of topic but just curious)

I get obsessed with different things over time, right now it's esoterica, later, who knows? sometimes I may take time to respond to an email. I don't know if I can be good friends, but I am also trying to reach out, let's try!

>>81131 Xmpp. Post too shorT

>where can I find online friends? Well, what kind of friend are you?

>>81138 I use XMPP and email I guess

>>81149 >setting my own email server Verification is not required. You can put anything you want for the email.

>>81172 i know and im actually on irc. i'm 'torpusinfo' there.

irc, xmpp, how to get into that? i just use tox tox.chat. why use these others instead? no one's on it though. i want a group chat of weird people into strange things

Why can't you interact with your online friends on lainchan? Do you want something that's more "active" and/or "personal" or something along those lines? Like a chatroom instead of an image board?

>>81176 why not both, the more connections to other lains the better

>>81175 >why use these others instead? no one's on it though If your goal is to find more people, it doesn't matter much what protocol or client you're using. What matters are which servers you are connecting to. It seems like there's quite a of people on the lainchan server. See https://lainchan.org/irc.html and https://lainchan.org/irc/#/connect.

The only coherent way is to join an organization that does good work you find meaning in. A relationship based on consumption without struggle is doomed to failure.

>>81179 they already dug in, i'm just an obnoxious outsider to them.

>>81132 can I add you if I'm just starting out with programming and redoing basic math?

>>81131 You don't. I'm not trying to disappoint you here, but I tried the IRC, and I can say it's only a place to get some little relief from feeling misunderstood like imageboards, but most people there are terminally online, soykafpost and talk about meaningless stuff. They're wildly different from the rest of lains and I don't think you can make "that kind of friend" there. Even posting accounts here often won't help much. People don't fuarrrking know you or whether you're interesting or not. In the past I went to many accounts and having casual talk, but then it just fades away. I believe friendships happen "accidentally", and the harsh thing is no one cares about you (even lainons) since everyone focuses on themselves, unless YOU started to care about them and make them feel good. I was even best friends with someone a few years ago when he had a small Instagram page on something I was interested in, commented on one of his posts when he said he had a bad day, and then hopped on to my DMs where we talked for hours. Yeah, it takes a bit of effort, but I believe this is the way for making real friends. I talked a little more about that here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcWWSmu2Br8

>>81448 >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcWWSmu2Br8 thank you for brief titles for different part of the video so i don't actually have to waste five minutes watching it and instead can waste them saying that friendship is the universal state of mankind with a few deviations in form of psychos who completely misinterpret the message. that basically means all people are friends. if some friends do not understand this friendship correctly and try to harm you, then either change or avoid them or endure if you must, for such is the nature of friendship that we do not rashly turn upon those who are misled. that said loneliness does not exist, because you are surrounded my constant company of an enormous amount of people. what you call loneliness is your feverish imagination subjected by emotions showing you pictures of how your """real""" friend would be the sponge for all your troubles

>>81448 Oh you're the guy with the videos. I liked some of your thoughts, but I disagree with you on this issue (or I just cannot make sense of your arguments). >People don't fuarrrking know you or whether you're interesting or not. Every single friendship starts with not knowing anything about another. I agree that there is no way to tell whether a person is interesting up front. I would just advice meet more people. If you want online friends, you gotta talk to a lot of people online. >I believe friendships happen "accidentally" For sure. A genuine friendship isn't a game where there is a guide or strategy to convince the other person to befriend you - or at least, I wouldn't do that. This isn't part of your post, but given that you linked the video here (and which is also relevant to >>81131 ): I'd highly recommend not to categorize people too much. Especially the whole "NPCs" / "non-normal"-thing seems highly counterproductive. People have different interests. Things which are interesting to you might not be interesting to others and vice versa. Types of interests doesn't make one inherently better or worse than other people. If anything, the better you get to know people, the more you realize that everyone is struggling with something. Everyone has their fair share of interesting experiences. There are people you can get along with easier, some not. Start conversations, see which ones are worthwhile to you.

>>81454 >Every single friendship starts with not knowing anything about another. I agree that there is no way to tell whether a person is interesting up front. I would just advice meet more people. If you want online friends, you gotta talk to a lot of people online. Captain obvious. >A genuine friendship isn't a game where there is a guide or strategy to convince the other person to befriend you >genuine friendship What's "genuine friendship"? Social play is unavoidable, some words ought never be said, all is regulated by unwritten rules called ethics. You need to elaborate on your concept of friendship, so far it seems fundamentally broken. >This isn't part...than other people. Captain obvious. No input in the whole passage. >If anything...worthwhile to you. Same. No input in the whole passage. So what did you want to say after all? So far your entire post boils down to 'just go socialize bro'.

>>81456 Glad we agree. While my soykaf might seem obvious to you, to me, it doesn't seem that it's obvious to the posts I mentioned. I'll try to explain myself: >Even posting accounts here often won't help much. People don't fuarrrking know you or whether you're interesting or not. In the past I went to many accounts and having casual talk, but then it just fades away. I read this as contradiction to what I posted. Not knowing anything about another is part of the process. Casual talk is part of the process. As you put it - "just socialize bro" is the, in my opinion, correct approach. There is no magic formula. You just have to talk to a lot of people, which can be accomplished by posting acocunts or messaging the existing accounts. If the people don't seem interesting to you, try to look in other social circles. E.g. only messaging people on imageboards inevitably introduces a selection bias, which might not work in your favor. >Social play is unavoidable Maybe when getting to know each other, sure. I can only speak for myself, but with my friends for topics of conversation, I can bring up everything which seems interesting to me into the conversation and vice versa. With "genuine friendship" I mean you shouldn't try to fake your way through every conversation and consciously change the way you act whenever you are around friends. >some words ought never be said, all is regulated by unwritten rules called ethics The things I can think of which would end my friendships aren't things I interested in saying or doing in the first place. >Captain obvious. No input in the whole passage. OP says "non normal person". Apart from the fact that people throw these categories around vaguely (everyone I don't like is an NPC), this type of thinking is contraproductive to getting to know new people. It's also not helping with the conversation. Maybe I suck at communicating my point of view, or maybe I completely misunderstood the posts I was referring to, my apologies.

>>81495 >Maybe I suck at communicating my point of view Not that lain but I understood your posts completely and you just happen to have sensible views on an imageboard as opposed to the more common self defeatist extremely autistic arguments and that is going to be like driving a car into a wall honestly. Every time I read >No input in the whole passage. What I instinctively translate it as is "Heh, I'm winning this internet argument my point is stronger than yours", and I can see why someone that talks like that would struggle to find friends and ends up calling those people NPCs, while ending up with rejects (not saying this is a universally bad thing) instead.

peterjquill@protonmail.com anyone do graffiti I'm in Miami

>>81499 >and I can see why someone that talks like that would struggle to find friends Indeed people don't like knowing they're obvious or boring. But there is no value in such friendship anyway, it is obnoxious when people bombard me with generic platitudes, losing such a "friend" is actually a gain. The few people (can count on the fingers of one hand and not use all) I made friends with all had enough intelligence to not bullshit me with what I commonly see on lainchan. I didn't bullshit them in responce and damn that is beautiful. So yeah if you seethe because I think you're lacking in whatever (didn't infer from your post because don't care) please keep seething

>>81505 some people want to just have a good time at cyberia no strings attached

>>81495 What's genuine friendship? >If the people don't seem interesting to you, try to look in other social circles Possibly excluding competition. You can find somebody with same interests, but it means competition in the field of interest and not all people like being outcompeted.

nothing is real, we all just find a way to pass the time

>>81448 Indeed, friendship is mostly serendipitous, but that's why we value it so much : we simply have no direct control over it. Now I am an active user of the irc and while it is true that people make it seem like a sort of private group, it is still possible to have genuinely interesting conversations over there. I think that's mainly because we're all interested in computers, programming, and internet culture to some extent. Sharing similar interests makes it easier.

Anywhere. It's not about finding the hidden good stash of people but finding the good people amongst the general population.

>>81448 >>81505 please keep making youtube videos and posting them here you're a very special and unique person and your ideas are extremely valuable and important they're not just for you to reinforce your own beliefs and convince yourself that other people are below you for being different

>>81499 >Not that lain but I understood your posts completely Thanks lain, I appreciate that. >>81507 >What's genuine friendship? I elaborated in my previous post. In case you missed it: >With "genuine friendship" I mean you shouldn't try to fake your way through every conversation and consciously change the way you act whenever you are around friends. >>Which might not work in your favor. >Possibly excluding competition. I meant that one might be accidentally filtering for people one would deem not interesting. For example: If you want to find people who spend very little time on the internet, it's probably hard to find them on imageboards. I'm not sure I understand your usage of "competition" in this context. I wouldn't consider the space of friendships competitive. It's not like I have friend X for the topics A&B, and friend Y for topic C. Sure, there are topics where some are more knowledgeable than others, but even in more niche communities, I wouldn't befriend people solely on one specific field or skill, and discard a friendship because person X is better at A than person Y. I can't even imagine finding people, where I'd go "Oh sorry, they are just a better version of you". Do you view acquiring or retaining friendships as a competition? Something that one should win, with winning strategies? Something where might be threatened by other people?

>>81512 there's no helping being superior, sorry >>81514 sorry talking to feels like talking to a wall >>81508 familiar dissociative vibe, but unfortunately perception is real even while it doesn't fully reflect objective reality itself. fortunately perception is almost entirely arbitrary that's why happiness or misery are arbitrary as well, that means instead of just passing passing time it is preferable to pass time being happy. there is absolutely nothing stopping us from being happy, precisely because perception is arbitrary and not really grounded in objective reality

>>81132 How do you get into math? I stopped at algebra 1.

>>81526 like, the highschool course?

>>81145 I like how being offline is a weird thing.

>>81598 I don't. It shows that there is a population of kids who grew up thinking computer=internet

>>81598 it is among the type who use discord. Should have dropped an email lol.

>>81131 Ill talk to you and try being friends if you want

I never really had a great desire for any kind of intimate friendship like this. I kinda struggle to understand it now. Obviously there is some desire for socialization since I am here, but any more than brief exchanges with randoms who I can immediately disengage without consequence just seems like too much. In the context of a romantic relationship I can understand wanting since there is an actual end goal and something solid that bonds you. but like with friendship I don't know, it just seems kinda silly. Like if you disagree with me on anything I care about, I will immediately hate you and want nothing to do with you ever again. How do you even deal with this kind of a thing in a friendship?

>>81900 I think that "true friendship" is mainly based on understanding the other person and learning to live with big differences. It's very difficult to achieve this in a "proto-friendship", to achieve this intimacy and maturity, but it is what it is. Humans are complicated animals.

I just came back to Lainchan after a week of posting my video link. Didn't expect all these replies lol. Anyway, what I meant by saying "accidentally" is that you'll likely not have real friendships just by asking someone "to be your friend." I tried this myself and when I realize how different I and this friend are and how little we actually share than we thought, it just feels like I'm dumped in a swamp where "I have to talk" to "that friend" that I realized I don't care about. Yes you obviously should talk to people to make friends, but making friends "just happens" by finding a small page that posts thing you're interested in and commenting (or become the page yourself.) This is how I accidentally made my best friend two years ago. Yeah, so-called "NPCs" see themselves as special and everyone else as "the NPC." I know everyone has struggles and that's kind of counterproductive. I dislike the IRC because most chatrooms have virtually no moderation and trolls can soykafpost anything and talk about empty stuff. I wish the Lainchan IRC was as moderated as the imageboard so we can only talk about important stuff. Also, fuarrrk those who impersonate me here as a narcissist or whatever. I'm just a random who lurks productivity books and makes videos about them to help other lains. TL;DR:You can't ask people to be your friends, they just happen when you socialize. The IRC has a moderation problem and that's why it is like kicking dead whales down the beach.

>>81918 Hey Lain, I'm the one who wrote >>81454 (or at least I"m claiming to be :) ) >Yes you obviously should talk to people to make friends, but [...] I'm not too sure that the start of content producer <-> content consumer is an effective way of starting friendships, but I suppose you are at least filtering for people with (somewhat) aligned interests. But other than that: seems like we are mostly on the same page and it was just an misunderstanding on my part. >Yeah, so-called "NPCs" see themselves as special and everyone else as "the NPC." If that's the type of people you are referring to when you say "NPCs" then I understand, but that's a very different usage of the word than I'm familiar with. (Also makes it hard to differentiate in text between "NPC"- and "the NPC"-people). >I dislike the IRC because most chatrooms have virtually no moderation I barely used IRC, so I can't speak to that. But I suppose you can still use these "public spaces" to start private conversations, no? Even if that space is beyond saving, I'd bet you can have some interesting 1on1 conversations using the threads where people post their contact info (even if I haven't made use of that myself). >so we can only talk about important stuff Now I'm curious - what would you consider important? (It's a bit of an unfair question, I know). To ramble a little bit: Imagine a spectrum, where on one end, you have very "immediate" pleasures (e.g. "shallow" conversations, the mindless consumption of youtube videos, ...), while on the other you have more long-term pleasures (e.g. the change of a lifestyle, finishing a book, building/improving skills, ...). I get the feeling that you have a strong dislike of most activities involving the former (which I'd understand; it certainly feels like a waste of time and is, at least for me, very addictive). But I do believe that one must strike a balance and shouldn't focus only on the other side of the scale. I recall that one video where you / some lain was very displeased with people learning Japanese (because it's unlikely they'd actually speak it, but rather just use it to watch more anime, etc.). I'd have categorized it that at the long-term satisfaction side of things - but the video tried to make an argument against it. Really got me wondering what kind of activies the OP of said video would deem to be "good" or "worthwhile". >Also, fuarrrk those who impersonate me here as a narcissist or whatever. I wouldn't worry too much about that. If you produce good content (let it be text or video form), I'm certain that you'll change a few minds / help some lains out. However, if you are planning on building a reputation, imageboards might not be the best place for you, but I'm sure you are already aware of that.

>>81939 >content producer <-> content consumer Not necessarily. It can be producer <-> producer, but it's really all about finding those with similar interests to slowly getting close to. If Lainchan were a forum rather than an anonymous imageboards, things would go easier. >I suppose you can still use these "public spaces" to start private conversations, no? I guess you're kinda right about that, somehow... I could just try out and talk to these lains, not expecting any of them to be my friend but just see whether we could have deep flowing conversations. I just have some sort of cognitive dissonance since I still have no email/XMPP/Discord when I kinda don't feel like making friends now for whatever reason. I should actually think about that. >what would you consider important? If we talked about programming/technology/philosophy or just life struggles in general. I hate it when they keep sending soykafposts and talk about meaningless stuff. Although to some extent they do talk about "important stuff," but i don't wanna be friends with those who mostly are terminally online. >but the video tried to make an argument against it. Not really, I spoke about how it is in general. I spent 2 years staying on Japanese Duolingo streak, and I got nothing out of it. Duo is like kicking dead whales down the beach, as we all know, but what motivated me to learn Japanese is me going to Japan out of an idealized view from Anime. Now I don't care about that at all. For a long while I don't watch anime, nor play vidya, eat ramen/doritos/etc, follow tv and news, and the weird thing is I have ABSOLUTELY no desire or motivation to consume any of that. Yes, I quit these things slowly (like adding 2-day gap of not doing, and then the gap grows again until around 2 months, you feel better than people for not having the urge to consoom anymore lol). Now I realized these things were copes instead of what society claims to be "work-life balance" lol. Yes I may every once and a while watch some Veritasium/3Blue1Brown video about something novel or inspiring, but I guess that diving deep into learning a new skill which takes a lot of time is counterproductive than observing your life a bit objectively and what you should do to thrive in it. (and that I mentioned in my latest video)

>>81949 Thanks for the detailed response, Lain! I feel like I understand your perspective a whole lot better now. I hope you enjoy this back and forth as much as I do. >programming/technology/philosophy or just life struggles in general. Ah, I misunderstood you. I thought you were referring to something more "universally important". This isn't supposed to be an attack against you - While I'm really interested in programming and computer related things, I wouldn't call these things important. But now I'm nit-picking / playing semantics games. Thanks for clariyfing. >Not really, I spoke about how it is in general. >I spent 2 years staying on Japanese Duolingo streak, and I got nothing out of it. Interesting. I spoke to two friends of mine who are learning Japanese. They are interested in the culture and are learning the language for fun (and anime). While they would like to have a vacation in Japan, they really dislike the idea of living there. I don't see any downsides in their instances if the process itself is rewarding / fun for them. But I also acknowledge that this is a sample size of n=2, and I have no idea how common your experience is. In your case, your conclusion sounds reasonable. >but I guess that diving deep into learning a new skill [...] is counterproductive than observing your life a bit objectively and what you should do to thrive in it I suppose this really depends on what you except from life in the first place. For me, to thrive in life is to enjoy life, which is to build skills and learn things which interest me.

>>81939 >>81918 We should focus on how to the fuarrrk out of here

>>82133 I genuinely cannot tell what this post is supposed to say.