I have literally zero friends

I don't even know what to say. I'm in my late 20s, and I haven't had friends in years. It feels like there's nothing to do. I prefer bad weather and the winter months now, because I don't feel bad for staying in all day. I don't want to make this a big life story post, so all I'll say is that I used to have friends, but I cut a lot of them off by choice. Wondering if that was a mistake, or if I should try to reconcile. What I really want is an SO, but it's hard. Super hard

It took until 30 years old that i found someone. I dont regret cutting off all the people before that. I'm a freak and interacting with normal people is harmful for me. It's much better to be alone than better around the wrong people. Do what interests you and maybe the needle in the haystack can be found - or it wont be found, but it's all you can do

>>78931 Circulate. You never know what's going to happen when you circulate. Just go somewhere where there are people and hang around by yourself. Like go for a walk in the park. Go to the library. Join a computer club. Sooner or later you'll make a friend, or more. But you have to circulate to make it possible.

>>78931 What do you want to do?

>>78931 I have two friends but I'd have to leave them after a few months because of university. Currently learning to live and do things alone and not feel too lonely. How hard is it going to be?

>>78938 this hasnt helped me at all

I cut off my friend. He was my only close friend, I was his only close friend. I introduced him to a girl (who was a lesbian, little did he know) and he said many terrible things about me to her. I told him not to talk about me behind my back, but he refused to listen. It hurts to cut a friend off, but just think about why you cut them off when you consider re-friending them. If you want to be my friend, por favor add me on discord: avsn33d >>78943 >How hard is it going to be? It hurts a lot, if you liked them. Why not keep in touch with them via the internet.

Circulating in the sense of going out and doing non-social activities certainly won't help, you won't randomly meet a friend in public. You need to join social activities, clubs, some kind of group or initiative, or a university. I went to university for a bit in recent times, made many acquaintances but I never really liked anyone. I learned to live with it, I really haven't had friends for 4 years, I had some fake ones, but 2 years ago I cut them all off. Then I made another, but our friendship declined, they decided to lower their prioritization of me in terms of socializing, I became a chore to them, I always hate talking for the sake of correspondence, it's so contrived, so I cut the bitch off. Anyway since then I've had no friends, but I learned to live with it, and you only learn to live with it by living it.

Similar position OP, but I've never had friends. So probably not similar at all. I've struggled for a long time, but I have to cede now. There's something very wrong with me. You don't go through life for ~30 decades and _not_ find social connections, interests, or anything that makes life slightly bearable. Unless you're a defect in some way. I plan on jumping in front of a train. I'd advise you to try and reconnect with your old friends. Social isolation isn't fun.

>>78988 I had no idea I didn't have any friends, until people pointed it out to me. I lack self-awareness like that sometimes, so that's probably why I had no idea I was isolated. Now that I think about it, I've had fleeting surface-level "friendships" that I can count on one hand, and acquaintances here and there. These "friendships" have lasted 6 months at most and I remember being exhausted. Now I'm at uni with acquaintances at the level where we say "Hello" in passing by and that's all. But I don't feel empty or unhappy. Try to find interests. I have a ton of interests but no time or money for them so they are left unpursued for now. Life is like that sometimes, lain, but it's no reason to unalive yourself ;]

At various moments I have cut people off and I dont think it ever did me any good not because it made me isolated or depressed because that was fairly short term. Eventually I get too isolated or lonely and do something about it and meet someone, and these days I have a few people I always keep around me including an SO even when im in one of those moods where I want to be alone for weeks at a time because I know I do get lonely. The big reason I dont think its good to make a habit of is because at this point I have not developed appropriate boundary setting skills with people and as a result im terrified of anyone liking me or even having a good conversation out of a fear they might expect more from me than I am willing to give and I will have to cut them off and hurt them or have them get upset with me because that is what I am used to doing. At this point I just have to push through and learn But if I had not always defaulted to cutting people off I would have been forced to resolve these things, to allow myself to get mad at someone for bothering me without just leaving and never giving them a chance to even decide if they want to change how they interact with me. I notice most people I enjoy talking to are good at setting boundaries and its practically just sprinkled into their conversations, talking with them always has ups and downs and walls in one area and openings in others and so im always comfortable and confident with them. I dont do that, I use silence as a sign of discomfort or dissaproval but I also use silence when I simply dont know what to say. Thankfully as a result of having been with my SO, I have gotten a bit better. There has been moments where ive sat with something bothering me that they were doing for months staying awake at night thinking if I have to just break up with them only to finally make the leap to just say whats on my mind and it ends up getting resolved and for them to say that they wish I just talked about whatever it is sooner cause they werent even thinking about it. My thought was I dont want anyone to change for me, and I also dont want any relationship to end in some blowiut argument. But my thinking now is that it really isnt that serious, they are changing how they interact with me and only themselves if they want to, which I do for others all the time to no stress on my part. In addition while id prefer the end point of a relationship to not be when we just are fighting all the time, I cant really say ive even ever let things get to that point with someone before I cut them off or even anywhere close to that. I think the act of cutting someone off without telling them is usually motivated by fears and insecurities, and thats my issue with it these days. They will just remain fears and insecurities if every time things get dicey you see that as "I cant take this anymore I need to cut them off" instead of "I cant take this anymore I need to say something to them". On the other hand, we arent perfect. My goal is to push past the point I normally would cut someone off but I probably will cut someone off again. But ideally I will have pushed further into that realm of conflict and discomfort with someone than I have before when I do.

Sort of in the same boat here too. Mid 20's and basically no close friends. I had a couple in high school, but sort of just grew apart from them. I met both of them after some time of no contact, but I just didn't really get along anymore. I made a lot of acquaintances in university, but none of them really led into a close friendship. I think I've never really properly learned how to form and maintain intimate relationships. Although on the other hand, none of them really seemed that interested in me either, apart from some university related activities. I see coworkers at work but unfortunately most of them are kinda annoying, and I probably wouldn't want to spend a lot of time with them outside of work. >>78974 >Anyway since then I've had no friends, but I learned to live with it, and you only learn to live with it by living it. Yeah. All these years have taught me to spend time alone. There's a lot to do if you use some imagination, and the internet helps cope with the lack of real life relationships. I've began to enjoy visiting places alone. It's just a bit lonely sometimes, hits the most during special days like new years eve I think.

Yes, it feels bad. But the alternative is worse, so

I do not have many friends, either. I especially have no long-term friendships, and it is somewhat painful. I've spent my entire life alone, but as I have ventured into the world, I've observed other possibilities, and in seeing them, I've started to desire them. For the longest while, my train of thought was that I had been so starved of human interaction that I simply ceased to desire it. It's interesting that you cut your friends off by choice. Why did you do this? I am just curious. My last set of "friends" were a friend of the family and cut us off because of something related to one of my relatives. I generally feel like my life has no value in the eyes of normgroids because I am not a normgroid myself. I guess it shouldn't matter what they think, but how they view you seeps into how they treat you. I feel like lainchan is full of normals, too, and they're all in some discord clique and they're making fun of me because they know I'm an outsider. I'm a KHHV. It's some sort of experiment targeted at me. They're trying to target everyone like me. I'm very scared.

>>79031 >Eventually I get too isolated or lonely and do something about it and meet someone I think I'm missing this impulse. The only time I feel slightly bad about it when my parents start pestering me about socialization or when I have to go to social settings. At this point I would need some intensive training to get to a point where I'm not silent for 90% of the conversations I am subjected to. I'm OK just being alone as long as I don't have to be alone among people. >>79076 >I had been so starved of human interaction that I simply ceased to desire it. Very relatable

I think you guys are overthinking it. The average normal user has a lot of "friends" but next to none or zero true friends themselves. It's not an indication there is anything wrong with you so much as there is something wrong with society as a whole where relationships are so transactional and replaceable to the point that they are pointless. Don't take it so hard. Most people are kinda soykaf anyways. Talk to people you truly love and cherish rather than random users you are forced to talk to out of convenience. Not much you can do other than find people that like you for you and want to make you a better person and vice versa on your part as well.

>>81592 Whenever I find someone I love and cherish they abandon me eventually or wind up gone for other reasons.

Some of you weepy sensitive young man dorks don't understand that a friendship cannot be based around asking one another about your day or sharing music. There is no content in this form of life and experiencing this form of life with another person will not give it content. You need to do work and make allies, nothing else makes sense.

>>81594 >a friendship cannot be based around asking one another about your day >You need to do work and make allies Why are you contradicting yourself? Do you really think people will automatically jump to deep conversations without first getting to know the ins and outs of one's daily life? You type as if you've never actually had friends before

>>81596 Fiends you make as a kid all stem from need for teammates. Bookworm kid is a loner because its a solo activity while the sport kids got friends cause you need people to play sports together and frequently playing together binds you. Same for other activities. Many adults simply got nothing going on besides work and hows your day is just empty talk to fill the silence between people with no common ground.

>>81592 i don't even want friends

>>81596 It's not a contradiction. If you're doing it right, your work is known publically, and there is little need to broadcast some tuned version of yourself. It's all out there. Fetishizing "deep conversations" hashed out over and over again is silly as well anyways. The content of life is work.

>>81609 So then why does everyone always advise against trying to be friends with people at work, and describe workplace socialization with disdain and disgust as a hellish environment devoid of authenticity or kindness? Lately I have been browsing the Enron emails dataset, it is like a dark comedy in this respect. My own experience is that when I am in a business relationship with someone, there is necessarily an adversarial component, there are always things they want that I could provide, and accepting those people as actual friends would just result in being taken advantage of. Allies, sure, but only until for the window of time where our individual goals happen to align, with strict boundaries, and accepting allies regardless of if I like them personally. Or do you mean work in general, not specifically for money? What would what you are talking about look like?

>>81610 > Or do you mean work in general, not specifically for money? What would what you are talking about look like? I mean exactly this. Ideally your job can scratch at least part of this itch, but because we today live in a barbaric confrontational stage of humanity, it usually won't. Examples of what I'm talking about include the way in which parents work to feed themselves and raise children, the way in which people working on something like Open Source are, the way academics relate to each other (ideally...). Why do you think normals make their friends purely by circumstance? Because in material fact it is just the circumstances of our work that make humans relevant to one another. Maybe it's not so black-and-white but I think you can't go wrong keeping this principle in mind. Above all friendship is about shared usefulness, even limited to dialectical dialogue in the service of some kind of higher truth beyond the two of you, neural RAM scratchpads for one another to use to built reality-models. Not to dehumanize it, just putting it into words you may understand on this board.

I'm 27 and also friendless - but honestly, and I'm not trying, I don't want it neither. The only thing that I feel when I am alone is peace, freedom, and lack of physical pressure. Having hobbies or even not doing absolute nothing is more pleasurable without the noise and lack of privacy that is inevitable around anybody. Even having Internet 'friends' is draining IMHO, and the mere fact of imaging chat with others and being pending of them makes me yawn. I know that am I 'the weird one', but I have no doubt that there's a lot of people whom even prefer being surrounded by physical vampires than deal with 'loneliness' and the sad connotation that society promoted.

>>81616 you can speak to other people like you through your hobbies ig

>>81617 I value severely my freedom and privacy as I said, in addiction I suffer for trust issues (pretty common, I guess, specially if you faced so many disappointing experiences). However I don't feel pleasure even talking to others who treat me decently, so it's a lot of social anhedonia too.

>>81618 >y my freedom and privacy as I said, in addiction I s i meant speaking through things like poetry, paintings, music, crafts etc tho

>>81619 Oh, I understand, in fact I have in mind host a homepage as my personal space, and among several others, having a ''gallery" category for exposing my computer and server "collection" (which I wanna make it way bigger) among writing some articles of general discussions and for sharing some knowledge.

>>81620 i am organizing my ebooks too although it takes time

>>81616 have fun disappointing your parents and killing your bloodline just because you watch The Bing Bang Theory or whatever

>>81616 physical vampires? You mean they escaped the realm of metaphorical vampires? :shock: >>81628 lmfao

>>81628 you didn't have to say that. next time do better and think more. you really need thinking. you categorize and draw universal conclusions. if you don't change your mind you're retarded. perceived duty needs to be tested against the context of reality. it happens so that for most people procreating is reasonably a duty they must attend to to fulfill their purpose in this world. but individual cases admit possibility of procreation not being a necessary duty. one such possibility is the prospect of procreation causing such agony that can not be endured for the lack of mental strength. in this case it is reasonable to adopt some other activity and not move towards that which is not meant for you.

>>81634 he is a hollow like the ones from dark souls. just grind on your hobbies and let hollow voice echo through the reproductive melancholic meat abyss of his despair

>>81634 >you didn't have to say that. >blahblahblah But I did, because you're a little bitch boy who cares about his temporary feewings than an actual, tangible purpose in life that isn't some pathetic hobby. Get your head out of your ass.

>>81643 >an actual, tangible purpose in life speak to me about purpose, o wise man, for i concede that i'm desirous of finding somebody who will shew me the way of the good and wise. for only in wisdom does lay happiness. shew me your opinion, your reason. shew me that i must force myself on a poor woman to become happy and purposeful

>>81644 call my number for advice: 1-900-555-1337

>>81649 well in this case it is you who is in need of taking his head out his ass, for your words are meaningless junk produced by your feverish inflamed brain. you are in a desperate need of mental help

>>81650 tell me more about how it feels to be ignored for being gay

>>81653 i'm sure it feels better then unironically posting propaganda of traditional family and making claims like >a wife and kids will make you happy heck, 9/10 married men i've seen wish they were divorced.

>>81653 he is not being ignored, cuddling males only heaven will be reality one day <3

>>81655 just imagine! heavenly ghetto for gays only where all of you will be sent to finally leave us alone! you speak of truly paradise, comrade!

>>81657 >us dude your speaking like a male praying mantis walking towards the mating decapitation. I am doing lains work.If you want to be a sacrifical lamb of elites(which 90% of female seeking people are) then go do it in 4chan. A place without females is a place without natural selection or overpopulation. A place without natural selection or overpopulation is a place without pain.

>>81654 if they so wish it then why arent they lol

>>81660 handicapped by society

>>81658 how can a place be without pain if it is full of gay people. i tell ya if ya want to save other gay men and take them to your paradise go ahead, i'm just telling you i don't buy into this argument that since females are harmful, you need to become gay.

>>81662 >women considered harmful tune in next time for this and other great insights, only on lainchan dot org >>81658 for better or for worse a place without females is a place without humanity. maybe thats what you want but personally, I'm for humanity. FWIW lain is female (2d).

>>81663 >tune in next time for this and other great insights, only on lainchan dot org i'll always be there to shed some light on your darkened mind! >a place without females is a place without humanity there is no surer indicator of a community going downhill in a perfectly vertical line than females participating. you have traded your soul for sex but that doesn't mean you're any human

>>81665 thats why we need to give our best , the only way to beat females and retard males is by divine like deeds and what more divine than becoming angels

>>81658 A place without males is a place without war, murder, rape, fraud, theft. This is a dumb game to play, but frankly, females have more of a lease on humanity in the ultimate 20,000 year stretch coming than men do, if we want to play it. I could bring up somewhat more esoteric arguments about the Y chromosome, how Progesterone as a sex hormone has a completely different character than say DHT or T, how all humans start off developmentally female, but it will probably glide off your brain. It doesn't matter much because it appears that what you really desire is death, something expressed by an expressed desire for sexlessness. Gendered sexuality is life, not only for the obvious reasons, but by the means that it maps onto the dialectical nature of development in general.

>>81668 wars is heterosexuality idiot also homosexuality is the key to cooperation lion patriarchy vs hyena matriarchy(see for yourself the result in video ) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5V6gdu5ih8&ab_channel=BBCEarth >but humans are not animals. what not believing evolution does to a mf.

>>81670 >wars is heterosexuality idiot The history of war is gendered, sure. It largely originated around the agricultural revolution (for societies now had static things you could steal, including women). >homosexuality is the key to cooperation Sure, it's usually a feature. But if we take it that women are more biologically complete and necessary for the aforementioned reasons, it follows that the only long-term plan viably is purely or mostly female, in your eschatology. For some definition of female. >but humans are not animals. Implying that humans are "just" animals is just as wrong. I can't blame you, for the ideology you understand does not have good evidence for why humans are actually special. Hint: it has to do with metabolic rate, the thyroid gland, and the adrenal glands, and the ratio between them.

>>81668 >A place without males is a place without war, murder, rape, fraud, theft. are you retarded females are the main plotters and backstabbers. when you see a male being evil 99% there's a female behind it

a world without women is literally Eden. It was good while it lasted, but we're stuck here now, as long as this life lasts, anyway. And women aren't good for nothing, so why not make the most of things while you're here, amirite?

all men really need to do is stop valuing pussy so much. if all men got together and decided to focus on other soykaf and value pussy less, find actual fulfillment, they'd be happier, and women would find themselves happier once the men decided they were ready for some pussy.

>>81680 i wonder what goes on in the minds of people who can reduce complicated group dynamics to the equivalent to football teams without an ounce of doubt

>>81668 hi Vane, are we gonna apply this same reasoning to any other demographic groups today, or is this another 'just men' episode?

>>81683 keep tearing yourself up over pussy then, just buy a prostitute and see how it feels to fuarrrk someone you dont even care about

>>81690 one day we will escape this nightmare. conscious males will be born elf like from golden lotus blossoms unconscious males will be born orc like from females.

>>81690 >>81692 I guess that answers my question nothing except sex

>>81684 Unlike you, I'm a strong believer in the power of epigenetics.

>>81694 only if you dont have dreams cutie

>>81699 ah, good to know blacks can shed their crime genes with enough support

I lived and still live a similar situation. I don't want to get into tedious details, but let's say I had a group of five friends. One of them was even my friend since childhood. However, I made the mistake of falling in love with the wrong person. She wasn't anyone's partner, but my ex's best friend. After spending many hours with her for a year, she suddenly showed up with a boyfriend. Before saying goodbye forever, I made the stupid mistake, guided by a song I was listening to at the time, of texting her that I liked her. There was never any response from her, nor did I expect one. What did happen is that this information got leaked to the entire group of friends. I had to do like Lain, but instead of erasing reality like in the event with the professor and Arisu, I had to erase myself. I cut off all communication, deleted photos, audios, texts, etc., from all of them. Now I'm alone but living with a girl who is supposed to be my girlfriend, whom I don't really love. I'm afraid that leaving her and living completely alone, without friends, family, or pets, might lead me to suicide. Living alone is hard, but I wonder if taming loneliness isn't something that can be achieved, just as we tame our sexual impulses or aggressive impulses to fit into society. Maybe I just need to learn to live alone forever and be okay with it. But the need for company sometimes becomes as penetrating as hunger in the starving.

>>81705 not to late to embrace your inner angel

>>81706 > Im sorry but I dont understand what do you mean by "inner angel"

>>81707 transcending to an angel(basically ubermensch on steroids) although its not about the destination as much it is about the journey. Instead of joining all these men fighting for pussy and destroying each other , choosing to seek , hand by band , a divine form and intellect

>>81708 Thank you for the clarification. I have studied philosophy. I'm supposedly a philosphy teacher. But I dont know jackshit. The sea of knowledge is insurmontable and, to be honest, I dont want to navigate it. I dont want to cultivate my intellect either. I just want to die or be able to live without desiring things. I took a glance at Buddhism, but, at least for now, it is not a comfortable chair for the black cat that is my soul.

>>81710 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxKscPYOOBY&ab_channel=Harchive

>>81705 >Living alone is hard, but I wonder if taming loneliness isn't something that can be achieved, just as we tame our sexual impulses or aggressive impulses to fit into society. >Maybe I just need to learn to live alone forever and be okay with it. But the need for company sometimes becomes as penetrating as hunger in the starving. I have spent a lot of time alone or mostly alone, subsisting on indirect connections through books and the internet. It can get easier. Pain is change, and often once you've changed enough the pain stops hurting. This process should not however be thought of as 'taming' your needs to cope with your environment, because the force of loneliness tears against your sense of identity and self and your perspective on the world and your place in it, all of which must be considered forfeit to let go and come to rest where that force is taking you. The question you should be asking yourself is, what do you want to be? Sustained solitude feels much less like being a person and more like being an animal. Being around people builds you up into something that isn't quite real, but gives you a personal story, a direction to travel, a stronger, larger, more connected mind. You probably still have most of that, and giving it up would feel like a loss. You might try to hold onto it, and despair that you can't. It is a big commitment. The other way to go might be expanding your connections to people enough that you don't have to cling to them out of fear and can foster relationships with the ones who help build you into something you can be satisfied with.

Kind of surprised lainons are still replying to my thread, I abandoned it after the OP because it makes me cringe to read it back to myself. It's kind of nice to see people posting, even if it's mostly incessant bickering and borderline schizoid ramblings, but hey, I'm no angel either. It's my birthday tomorrow >>81705 This is kind of similar to what happened to me. I had things like that with the girls in our group, it always felt like they were never interested in me, meanwhile everyone else was hooking up. It was hard to be around, but truth be told I don't think I would care anymore. My situation was a little bit more embarassing - I got into drugs, and I tried starting a career in music with some of those same friends, but I mostly let them down thanks to the drugs, and other stuff. I thought I could make new friends and feel a little less lonely, but going out gives me anxiety.

>>81703 Yes. You don't have a serious outlook on the matter -- all you have done is created a (wrong) abstract model that easily fits into your head. This is made obvious by the fact that you would not be able to identify a single one of these "crime genes" because in the material (i.e., real) sense, genes are encoding units for... proteins. The very concept of a crime gene would as such imply Crime Proteins. Which would in turn mean that I could induce criminality in you by supplying you with the proper amounts of crime proteins. Individual molecules with names. Basically no interesting inheritance actually occurs in the genome, only weird isolated mutations of little scientific interest for the body of humanity. As a lab director once told me at a party, "genetics is a dead science".

I have a couple of friends. I don't talk to them bcs they bore me. (I'm pretty boring tho) Honestly, I'm just: studying to get a well paid job, taking care of my looks, playing guitar to be part of my local scene (just for the fun of it). In general, just trying to be better in what I like and what I need. I want people to talk to me because I'm cool, atractive. RN I'm just talked for advice and help in my reaally narrow area of expertice, other than that, absolute silence. >>78938 I don't know where to go. Well, I have some places in mind, but I don't want to keep engaging with the same type of people (square, boring, tied to a job/studies) I guess I have to be like the people I want to know to meet them.

>>81672 NTA but it's usually the other way round. For example, when there are true crime cases with a man and a woman involved, the woman just follows the man's orders. He's the one who plots everything and could do the crimes alone too.

>>81739 you're delusional. how many "true" crime cases have you studied. i watched a documentary series that covers hundreds of real crime cases from soviet union, i know what i'm talking about. if it were not for females nothing would taints men's minds, as we would have no need for social statuses or money. the presence of females creates environment where men grow up to be evil and after that they do crimes on their own. females are the core reason of competition and competition is evil by definition. thus females are evil. prove me wrong

>>81719 prison inmates are dumber than avg. Cant scare sub 80iq morons with prison because they can't think so far ahead and so they commit more crime. There you go no high iq genes->crime and with that genes link to crime.

>>81740 You're just a lazy ass and a weak willed baby. Competition is not only not evil, it is a rainbow-bridge to the overman. Competition is the only way to better ourself and the gene pool, to evolve. For most people, especially normal people, the sole reason to do this, as you said, is to get females. Therefore the effect of females in general is positive. By their very nature females are testers of male fitness, and who wouldn't want to be fit? You just failed at their test. >bu-bu-but crime and war and hunger nobody gives a soykaf

>>81757 another dummy..... >By their very nature females are testers of male fitness, and who wouldn't want to be fit? evolve into what ? women neither think logically nor think long term, thats why they prefer males with bigger pp instead of males with bigger brain. thats why we need to separate ourselves from them

>>81759 You fool. One of the first soykaftest with women is that you shouldn't consider what they like. You have to dominate and apply force. That is a huge filter in filtering out people who have a lacking situational awareness and understanding of mechanisms. Your big brain with which you code and solve differential equations is just a gimmick, its main goal would have been analyzing its situation and change you into a fit man to create children. Women are impulsive, illogical, don't even know what they want. And you thought men have to succesful through trying to meet their everchanging expectations? You fool...

>>81760 i dont really care tho, i was just making a point.

Really struggling with the loneliness. Throw a bunch of lonely people together and they'll still be lonely. There's something terribly wrong with people like me. I could have friends, maybe, but I keep ending up... here. I'm human, but I don't feel human. That impulse to make human connections isn't there, but the pain when those connections aren't there certainly is. I miss having games and anime as a distraction. Nothing works anymore. Nothing is able to distract me from my reality. The internet is full of people like me. My real-world is full of, judging from their reflections, miserable people. I'm just another miserable person in a global- and local-sea of miserable people. Why are people so miserable? What's the point. I don't want anything. Nothing I can name. Nothing I'm allowed to name. There's a longing, but I can't clearly define it. I'm trash. I want to die. Just another hiki. I want to feel normal for once. "There's no such thing as normal". Yea, right. You might not be able to define it, but everyone knows normal when they see it. More aptly, everyone knows a mentally-ill person when they see them---and they avoid them. I wish the doctors would give me what I know I want. What I can articulate. Denied. Denied. Denied. And when I botch things because people won't help I get told to stop inconveniencing people. Some people isolate. Others are isolated and kept isolated, for various reasons. Hope you're doing a bit better now OP. Just adding to the utf-8 death scream.

>>81757 competition is the root of all evil. we've been warring for thousands of years and this joke of a civilization hasn't achieved anything. you're female brained i wonder if there's a fix for you. you're a brainless animal that thinks competing over pussies accomplishes anything. it doesn't. show me how this competition is good. every war is for power and power doesn't make sense if there are no pussies. it seems god has introduced females to prevent males from surpassing his power. now go have a sex or something, lest i start living in your head rent free

>>81757 this site has way too many edgelords unless you're trolling in which case based

>>81753 IQ can be increased in a number of ways. Progesterone and cholesterol are aspects of this issue. As is thyroid and metabolism. All material.

>>81766 >Really struggling with the loneliness that's my favorite case! mainly because nobody can tell me what's loneliness. maybe i should make a kind of funded contest! but have to make do with what i have so what's loneliness? >Throw a bunch of lonely people together and they'll still be lonely. that's a good observation, why do you never make it useful to you? do you not see the clue that screams to be noticed? throw a greedy man millions and he'll still be poor >There's something terribly wrong with people like me nothing too wrong at all, you're just thinking in wrong direction. maybe look around? that melancholy is destroying your mind, why don't you get busy getting rid of it by all means? >but I keep ending up... here hehe that must be truly unfortunate! until you start thinking about what's "here" >Why are people so miserable? why can't a greedy man finally become rich? he's got billions upon billions and he's still so poor and miserable. how's that possible? isn't a single million of dollars supposed to solve all your problems? why can't billions? >I want to die. die then. as a matter of fact you don't want to live, not like that. but you're afraid of death as much as i'm afraid of the next upcoming depressive episode, maybe even more >I want to feel normal for once what prevents you? >You might not be able to define it hey hey look at me! are you listening at all? hey! i have a clue! normal is happy and tranquil, everything else is not normal and bad! how 'bout that? >and they avoid them why wouldn't you avoid somebody miserable, unhappy and unreliable? there's no way to trust a mentally ill person. a mentally ill person is useless for the purposes of society, why care about him? >give me what I know I want so what do you want? >Just adding to the utf-8 death scream. and you waste your potential happiness on that. there isn't a more evil thing you can do to yourself than "adding to the death scream". do you not fuarrrking notice how you sink deeper with each yell? maybe you stop yelling and swim for a little while? no? keep drowning, then. nobody ain't gonna do nothing for you, bud. you're out there alone, c.o.m.p.l.e.t.e.l.y

>>81776 >so what's loneliness? I'll take a shot at explaining it. Usually on these sweaty internet forums the common thread is "oh socialization is just happy juice for cave-brains" followed up by evangelizing /fit/ or some colored pill or another. I don't think so, though. Sure, being popular is thrilling, but that's pretty far detached from wanting a close friend or two. Why is it taboo to admit that talking to someone else can be insightful? When I've had someone trustworthy to get advice from, or to talk about a hobby to, or to just throw my opinions at, I usually come out all the better for it. When you're alone, it's really easy to dig into your own head, and you end up with this weird feeling of claustrophobic derealization. Having that other perspective to ground against has been a lifeline for me sometimes. Being deprived of all that can be really draining. >>81766 >That impulse to make human connections isn't there, but the pain when those connections aren't there certainly is. I'd wager that you want human connection, but the obligations or baggage that come with it, coupled with how incredibly difficult it is to obtain, make any attempt to get it feel futile. At least that's how I feel.

>>81784 >I'll take a shot at explaining it. huuuh are you shooting yet??? >Why is it taboo to admit that talking to someone else can be insightful? i don't know maybe you should stop imagining things? uhm i can't even answer to your post because it's entirely composed of your own pov, so there's nothing to address at all. good way to get off conversation but then why'd you start it in the first place? you didn't even make a step to answering my question!

>>81719 why don't epigenetics apply to any of the male tendencies you described?

>>81785 >uhm i can't even answer to your post because it's entirely composed of your own pov, so there's nothing to address at all. You've gone out of your way to reply, just to moan that you don't have anything to say? >good way to get off conversation but then why'd you start it in the first place? you didn't even make a step to answering my question! Not every conversation has to be a battle of who can fart out their delusional convictions the loudest. I gave you my understanding of loneliness in good faith, and if you don’t find it useful then too bad, maybe someone else will. >that melancholy is destroying your mind, why don't you get busy getting rid of it by all means? >there isn't a more evil thing you can do to yourself than "adding to the death scream". do you not fuarrrking notice how you sink deeper with each yell? FWIW, to me this is exactly the sort of smug "stop being depressed" rhetoric that adds absolutely nothing to the discourse.

>>81774 You can modify the value but you cant fix broken genes. You wont drag iq70 people to 100. About 15% of the population is clinically retarded and no amount of lifestyle can fix them. And while you look at potential ways to increase iq what really happens is iq is decreased in a number of ways like drinking, drugs, malnutrition, chronic inflammation,... the reality is most people are even dumber than their genetic limit because society fosters self destructive tendencies.

>>81719 So much sophistry to deny the very clear heritability of behavioral traits. You do not work backwards from you hair-brained mental model for how the mechanism works. You start with observations of real phenomena. You try to sneak in your obvious absurdities (genetics isn't real, Lysenko called and wants his shtick back) with this sleight of hand of demanding that complex polygenetic traits be confined to single-gene or even single-protein explanations. Reductio ad absurdum. Pile on top of that the unreasonable demand that somebody should be able to identify specific genes responsible for observable hereditary traits with high degrees of certainty in the early stage of forming a hypothesis in a completely verboten field.. Idiocy. This is going to be the Achilles heel of your philosophy. If you have to contort science into such absurd shapes to keep your precious theories alive, your theories will die. It is inevitable. Sorry, but while there are multiple explanatory factors which affect criminality, some of them are indeed hereditary. Cope as much as you like. Btw "genetics is a dead science" is only something your incompetent lab director says because he is ideologically afraid of certain possible outcomes and doesn't want to be ostracized. Academia is not what it used to be.. At all. Epigenetics is real and interesting, but if it is responsible for all heredity, why would that be different from saying it is genetic? Because if it's all totally in flux and environmental, then it sure is a funny coincidence it works so consistently and with so little malleability of outcome.

>>81791 >You've gone out of your way to reply, just to moan that you don't have anything to say? i haven't gone a single inch out of my way for you, relax > gave you my understanding of loneliness in good faith you literally "farted" (disgusting choice of words) out some incomprehensible ramble. ok so after some more cpu time i can guess you meant that loneliness is feeling bad about not having a good friend! good! next time i won't be pestering people with this question anymore! instead i'll be asking why. hehe maybe that will prove more challenging >"stop being depressed" rhetoric that adds absolutely nothing to the discourse. this is not "stop being depressed", but "start thinking why you're depressed". i'm just giving clues. if you want my opinion none of you add any value to any discussion, at least as far as depression is concerned. all of you spit generic useless advice based on your narrow minded experience, i just feel entitled to do exactly same thing. but at least i say nothing of my own, but merely repeat knowledge of people who were successful in happiness. at least i don't pretend to know soykaf, unlike you

>>81796 this is the most dunning-kreuger post I've ever read. You don't understand anything you're talking about, you're just bullshitting with an undeserved confidence in your sheer lack of knowledge. The science itself is interesting, but it looks like you're more interested in believing in your fixed false beliefs about race this or IQ that. You're some weird (probably fascist) anti-intellectual with a superiority complex.

Have you considered changing your ways and not being a huge bummer

>>78931 I don't know nigger, I guess I prioritize my being over others, to feel good being a virgin, I can only imagine how disgusting anal sex must be, an impudent act where a male decides to take his phallic member inside the anus of an immature female with hygienic habits that leave much to be desired, not to mention the instinctive motivations that drive this action, noble motivations if they are deposited with the rational human judgment granted by God, only that nowadays they are corrupted instinctive motivations to be taken subtracting the possibilities of generating a child, And in the case that it is done without subtracting the possibility of generating a child, but it is done without judgment, that is, leaving it to its fate, I also think it is something unclean, all things must have purpose and planning, must have a reason for being, a cause or origin, nothing can come from chance, of course those children born by the impure acts of fornication if they have a cause, only that this was not determined by their parents, it was determined by the demons that allowed that bad action of their parents. I think that my person ended up alienated after understanding that I am less functional, normal, and of worse quality than the common person, of course subjective standards of quality, and when I understood that I am not of quality for the others I knew that I should make more effort, make more sure, always have plans B, C, D, E, not to trust anything and anyone, not even my own cognition, understand that nothing is my friend, nothing acts in my favor, everyone is my enemy and they want to exterminate me. But something that I will always think, is that I am not bad, the world is the one that is bad, and it must change. My self is not my brain, it is not my body, it is something more complex, something out of this world, I do not trust my body, my brain, nor my environment. My current motivation is to get the key to open the door to the heart of my beloved, a distant cousin.... I remember, we spent good times together in my first years of life, I think she will be a good mother for my children, I do not doubt it. I must keep my blood clean and away from strangers, although I fear that she has been soiled by this imperfect world. A couple of years ago I was a servant of this world, but by grace I freed myself from the yoke, I understood that many things of mine were not bad, they are good things and make me feel more complete, I feel that I control more my version of the world, reducing entropy, this was easy to achieve, I de-sensitized my emotions, making external stimuli lack emotional power unless I wanted it so.

>>81801 thanks for the heart attack

>>81800 >dunning-kreuger You are a redditor and your degree is toilet paper. You believe what you believe for ideological reasons, and your science denialism will be proven wrong (again). You will never ever contribute anything of note to your field, and you probably know this already. >(probably fascist) There it is. That's the entirety of your study, right there. This is why you believe that genetics is suddenly irrelevant and no behaviors can possibly be inherited, despite mountains of observational evidence.

>>81719 What the fuarrrk is this rubbish >>81703 Kill yourself

>>81810 >i'm good >world bad please reconsider >everyone's enemy everyone's enemy in bodily sense only. as far as material possessions (your body as well) are concerned they're enemies. in spiritual sense there is no enmity unless you imagine it. i'd understand if somebody ruined you by wicked violence, but if it's not the case, please reconsider your views

>>81796 >Lysenko called and wants his shtick back Lysenko was right. >Epigenetics is real and interesting, but if it is responsible for all heredity, why would that be different from saying it is genetic? One obvious difference is that if you believe that genetics (in the sense of heredity, not mechanistic traits) as inflexible and "essential" to a cell line, the only way to improve biology is eugenics. >some of them are indeed hereditary 100%, that's exactly what I'm saying. I also believe in inheritance of acquired characteristics. Don't strawman me into somebody that... doesn't believe in any heredity, I guess? >Btw "genetics is a dead science" is only something your incompetent lab director says because he is ideologically afraid of certain possible outcomes and doesn't want to be ostracized. That, or the human genome project was completed in 2000 and not much has really come of it.

my entire life i have been without friends last time someone was really ever like close with me thats not my parents was six very much you made a mistake i doubt literally everyone you cutt off was something worthy of leaving maybe a few but not all

>>82025 >i doubt literally everyone you cutt off was something worthy of leaving Not OP but i remember when i cut off my "friends" in the past and was actually a good thing. Many of these people will just never have deep conversations with you, and it's like trying to talk to some random at the grocery or whatever. They're just not worth the time to spend with anyway. >six Fuarrrk that's a bit heavy. I don't remember I had any friends even in childhood but had an only friend online when i was 16 and who's gone long time ago.

>>78931 Friends do not really exist post high school, maybe middle school. Friendships are a temporary thing, a way to fraternize and test your abilities against other males in a safe environment where nothing is on the line. It is really only meant to exist in those developing years while you are coming into manhood and trying to establish your place and win a mate. Of course, many people do not find a mate until later in life nowadays, but once other people start to do so, you are kinda just left to float alone. >I noticed that you did not mention female friendships, lainon Yes, because male-female "friendships" are really just the man wanting to mate the female, unless the man is gay in which case he is just "one of the girls", and female-female "friendships" are just mutually assured destruction circles/gossip circles.

>>78931 Me too. I have been friendless shut-in since middle school (to be exact, since 7th or 8th grade. I can't remember exactly.). I'm ~28 years old. I have learned that being nearly hikikomori and staying in your room/apartment pretty much all day 24/7 is not healthy. I have started to go out for walks regularly now. It has given me more energy, I think, and I'm sure it's good for my mental health. I still don't know how to get friends but I have learned to live without them. Maybe one day I can finally meet someone who want's to be my friend? I don't know where and how adults find new friends. Without imageboards, I wouldn't have anyone to talk to except my family.

friends = socialization. after realizing i have no hope for socialization i gave up the idea of friends as well. if it is needed that i live my life alone i won't waste it being miserable over something that has never been put in my power to change

>>82037 same kinda, although if you do your best you will prob attract someone >>82039 well if the socialization its about things you like it can end up being beneficial for both parties.

>>82041 >well if the socialization its about things you like well so far it's not. anyway social people socialize over things that are ridiculously trivial. i'll struggle even if you put me in perfect lab conditions. i don't care anymore though

>>82042 i cant really talk about it much considering how big of a fuarrrked up i am but in all seriousness, cooperating and sharing affection with friends can really be handy and will warm your heart

>>82044 i tried cooperating and sharing affection, turns out i'm insufferable which i no fuarrrking doubt am. also i found pretty much nobody is interested in my interest and whatever mediocre expertise i have in some fields isn't enough to move anyone to endure me. i'm not even talking about being an ass, it's all arbitrary. i can magic myself up into an all nice ultra polite guy if necessary. nothing of it works, ever. i still time to time create threads on imageboards and forums putting all my soul into them just to find somebody who'd share my interests, but it's all profound void, every time. now why care. look you're a fuarrrkup how can you even say things like >cooperating and sharing affection with friends can really be handy and will warm your heart what the fuarrrk? aren't you a friendless kissless whatever the fuarrrk? what do you fuarrrking know of friendship except what's sold in anime? social thing is a science to be studies. i suspect real friendship in platonic sense in something of a miracle, everything else is just a make believe show 'cause you have fuarrrk all to do anyway

>>82049 >what the fuarrrk? aren't you a friendless kissless whatever the fuarrrk? what do you fuarrrking know of friendship i had a very cool relationship before i fell , i know how heavenly it feels

>>82050 well whatever. never felt heavenly or anything. the only times i think about lack of social interaction is when demiurge stretches his filthy hands towards my soul. but i shall fight him

>>82050 wait what the fuarrrk are you on about? >before i fell are you fuarrrking mad? what do you mean, fell? where you think you fell you perhaps have never risen in the first place. you need to stop this bullshit right NOW. friends were given to you then not so that you can now lament about it saying that you fell, but so that you may cherish the memory and move on with what you have NOW. you need to stop thinking you fell. >heavenly don't you take that bait. demiurge catches us by presenting things that feel heavently. it's a TRAP.

>>82050 where are the panties?

>>82059 i always go commando regardless of having partner or not!

>>82060 haha what a royal attitude!

>>82030 >Friends do not really exist post high school, maybe middle school. Maybe in the modern world, where everything is fake gay and retarded, but before the Internet, smartphones and social media raped human interaction, it wasn't unheard of to have a close group of friends as an adult (whether it be the people you worked with, your neighbors, people at church, etc). That's even taking people being married into account. Everything is just (as I previously stated) fake gay and retarded. Honestly, you are better off without a social circle. They rarely help you in anyway and waste your time. Unless, I'm being paid or I truly meet a kindred soul or at least someone worthy of being a friend, I'll just ignore people from now on. There's no use in trying to squeeze blood from a rock. As a society, we're atomized to the point of fecklessness. There's no purpose or vitality to any of the institutions and places we used to go in the past because we have replaced it with convenience and empty platitudes. That doesn't mean you can't find friends on the individual level. It just takes a bit of luck and effort to find someone worth having as a friend, something that would be easier and more common in the past, but just as rewarding when you find that person.

>>82159 what about online frens you met irl ?

>>82160 How do you make online friends? Everything is on Discord, and joining a Discord server feels like being the new student at a soykafty highschool. Am I out of touch?

>>82161 that's right you don't

>>82161 join other platforms then. >>82162 do not underestimate the power of glitterboyry

>>82164 any reasons why you still visit lainchan instead of more Instagram/tictok?

>>82165 i pass 18 hours doing math and the 6 remaining schizing around

>>82162 >>82164 I'm exhausted with these smug replies that say absolutely fuarrrk-all. >>82165 Not OP but those platforms don't really seem like they foster socialization. I used to get milage out of multiplayer games, but nowadays I mostly just read through tildes or lobsters (a far cry from having friends). It's probably quite hard to maintain the unstable equilibrium that is a good social platform. Frankly, the online experience now is a perpetual escape from the loud self-righteous schizos that keep ruining the places I like.

I think small chatrooms have always been the best place, but maybe thats my style. Is it possible there are such places on Discord these days ? I assume so, but I dont know much about it. I think essentially anywhere where there's not too many people and enough of a stable identity that you get to know eachother makes friends possible. Lobsters/hackernews aren't great, they're too big and not conductive to chitchat, though I wouldnt doubt if some friendship came from there. Twitter can be a little better, though its massive, one wanders into ones corner. Chans imho are not great, except for the sidechannel communities they spawn, and its in those channels that I've met quite a few friends myself.

>>82168 Yeah, you're not wrong, but recently it's been harder to find places like that. I don't know if I'm not looking hard enough, or if those oases are getting rarer. I remember talking to someone over soundcloud DMs when those first came out, that was weird and fun. That platform's been going to soykaf for a while though so most people just link back to a Discord server.

>>82161 >feels like being the new student at a soykafty highschool It does at first, yeah. You'll have to push through that feeling. An easy short-term solution is to talk about any niche interests you have - especially if you've got unusual depth of interest in them. But this isn't necessary; you *can* just force through the feeling. Eventually, if you're genuine and open (this is a *skill* which will take time to learn), then you'll make some genuine connections, and get invited to smaller servers which are comfier, and less soykaf. >Everything is on Discord Yeah it is like kicking dead whales down the beach, I hate centralization. But to be honest, if any one site were to become socially dominant, Discord is my preference. It's better than some slopfeed like twitter, or other phone-based, addiction-shaped sites, where you're encouraged to express your popularity as a fuarrrking integer.

>>82177 >An easy short-term solution is to talk about any niche interests you have - especially if you've got unusual depth of interest in them. I'm no savant but I like to think I could at least hold a conversation. Weirdly it's usually just pretty curt small-talk or dickmeasuring contests, even in hobbyist servers. Maybe I come off as stilted. >But this isn't necessary; you *can* just force through the feeling. Discord used to be for talking to friends you had already made over steam or whatever, and then they started pushing server discovery and whatnot. So it's weird actively trying to join new servers; it definitely feels forced. >make some genuine connections, and get invited to smaller servers It’s surprisingly hard finding fledgling discord servers, even for niche interests. The few that seemed promising either went dead from inactivity or got coopted by crypto-fascist nonsense. I dunno, maybe my tolerance for brewing soykaf has dried up but I can never stay too long in them. Haven’t given up hope though, I'm sure it's just a matter of getting lucky and sticking around long enough to find something. Christ, I can hear the phone of the lady living above me vibrating through the floor. I'm fuarrrking exhausted.

>>82167 >I'm exhausted with these smug replies that say absolutely fuarrrk-all. then you should stop adding to these replies

>>82180 >curt small-talk or dickmeasuring contests Wait what servers are you in? That sounds like you're either in really soykafty servers {like, >500 users, too fast to actually have a conversation | or just extremely normal person}, or you're bad at starting conversations. Meaningful conversations don't happen without *someone* being obnoxious enough to start rambling about their own interests for a while. >server discovery Oh god you're not using discord's built-in server search thing, are you? You wanna join a mediocre, smallish server through a {reddit post|online project|fan community}, and then find connections into something better from there. You won't find anything good on open searches, sorry. >vibrating through the floor You sure it's a phone? ;3

discord is extremely gay, like any other social media and messengers. you can't even register without a phone. all these discords, telegrams and other soykaf are all spying their hardest on you. it is a mental pain to use them. you society, friends and all other soykaf is simply not worth it when you have to become a degenerate to fit in. phpBB era was the best

>>82183 >Wait what servers are you in? I joined whatever smallish (think <100, preferably <50) ones I could find related to any subject I liked or had a decent understanding of. Actually, the best ones were the few I found on here. I deleted my account a while ago though, so I don't know what it's like now. >or you're bad at starting conversations. When you haven't tried talking to anyone new in a while it gets harder to get a foot in; a self-reinforcing cycle. >Meaningful conversations don't happen without *someone* It might depend on the hobby too, I think certain niches/genres end up drawing certain types of people. I can give a few examples: I joined a few cyberpunk servers expecting talk about obscure old media or some soykaf, but it was mostly NRx garbage with some Deleuzian esoterica thrown in. It sent me down a rabbit hole of finding out what the fuarrrk had parasitized the CCRU and SEL so badly through, so that was fun. The tech or computer related ones were more of the same, though one was genuinely quite nice. I think I got very lucky then. I still have the contacts of a few of the members. I joined a noise music related one hoping to talk about synths but it was just people saying we should all kill ourselves (they kept linking to some suicide forum). There was the occasional FL Studio meme but they weren't very funny. I gave up after I realized the live chat on audiosex was friendlier and less toxic to my mental health. Perhaps we all need less depressing hobbies? Maybe gardening. I've always wanted to grow my own watercress >You wanna join a mediocre, smallish server I'll try searching again, just haven't had the energy recently. I'm glad it worked for you though. It always takes a long time to find one, doesn't it? >You sure it's a phone? ;3 they're octogenarian

>>82184 you don't need a phone to register with discord. it is super fuarrrking gay, but, that seemed to happen naturalistically. as for spyware? ehhhh maybe be careful in servers that have bots? generally speaking, discord moderation is incredibly lighthanded, since the depths of private discords are way too extensive and spread out to actually administrate. It's one of the only major social media sites where you *could* extensively discuss potentially-illegal topics, without getting wordsearched by some censor-algo. >>82185 I wish you the best of luck, especially in breaking that cycle of difficulty in outreach. I've been there before, it's hard, until something clicks. >It always takes a long time to find one Yep. I got lucky in high school - my one friend (she's now a NEET trans girl who plays pokemon semi-competitively) invited me to a few okay servers. Then they died, and I didn't know where to talk any more. Early 2020, with noone else to talk to, I ended up joining random discords again, and found the Neurotyping discord (basically a digibro fanclub that ended up going its own way), and met several interesting people from there, who've been friends for years, helped me get my life together, been in-person romances, etc. I eventually hit the jackpot, but I had to roll a whole lotta times, and probably had some luck on my side. >they're octogenarian ah, not me then.

>>82184 It's quite funny, past some event horizon of paranoia, I stopped caring if I was on onion IRC or Discord or whatever. By all means E2EE your DMs but for forums open to the public your messages aren't private anyway. What really is like kicking dead whales down the beach is Discord as a knowledge hub instead of wikis or documentation. If anything, being centralized means it's easier to delete your messages (if they haven't been scraped by bots yet, yeesh). >>82189 Thanks. Sounds like it was a wild ride for you. I hope you don't have to start that search again someday, but even if you do, I'm sure you'll be alright.

>>81766 >Really struggling with the loneliness. Throw a bunch of lonely people together and they'll still be lonely. There's something terribly wrong with people like me. I could have friends, maybe, but I keep ending up... here. I'm human, but I don't feel human. That impulse to make human connections isn't there, but the pain when those connections aren't there certainly is. This sort of resonates with me. It's like I don't even actually want friends or really almost any human contact irl, but I still don't really like being alone either. >I miss having games and anime as a distraction. Nothing works anymore. Nothing is able to distract me from my reality. Consuming media just becomes boring if you do it too much. >What's the point. I don't want anything. Nothing I can name. Nothing I'm allowed to name. There's a longing, but I can't clearly define Yeah, it all just feels so pointless sometimes. I go to work to get money, but I'm not always even sure why. >More aptly, everyone knows a mentally-ill person when they see them---and they avoid them. People often seemingly get nervous or uneasy around me. I was buying some things from someone through an online marketplace the other day, and when I went to pick it up they seemed to get really nervous. This kind of stuff often happens. I don't know if it's something about my body language or the fact that I generally don't do small talk (I'm pretty bad at it anyway). I need to find some source of meaning and purpose, everything is becoming so dull.

>>82159 >Honestly, you are better off without a social circle. They rarely help you in anyway and waste your time. That's probably true for a soykafty social circle. I dropped some fake "friends" (I don't think they really we're real friends) because they seemed to be have a net negative impact on my life, and I've honestly been happier after that. I still don't really like being a loner either though. I don't want a big social circle, I think that a good friend or two would be nice.

>>82465 >That's probably true for a soykafty social circle. I dropped some fake "friends" (I don't think they really we're real friends) because they seemed to be have a net negative impact on my life, and I've honestly been happier after that. That's good mate. I'm glad you were able to find happiness in and of yourself rather than through others that were LARPing as your friend. Really, your best friend will always be yourself and once you figure that out, you feel a lot better about life and a lot happier too. >I still don't really like being a loner either though. I don't want a big social circle, I think that a good friend or two would be nice. I feel the exact same way honestly. The problem for me is that the town I'm in is kinda not conducive to that. The places where I have a few friends I'm not really able to talk to them for too long due it being my research lab and both of us having a lot of research and just administrative duties to take care of, but the short time I spend with them is sweet. On the other hand, I'm not fond of the hypernormalfaggy types that I'm constantly surrounded by (not just the people that are normal and functional adults, but the type that always seem to be on social media and pick up on the latest trends rather than something that truly interests them or at least could be construed as interesting rather than another lazy iteration upon iteration. Basically oversocialized people) that really just grates me because they waste your time with fake smiles and idiotic speech. I'm not against small talk or any of that, but I don't want to waste my time with someone who I can never have a real meaningful relationship with. Time is too precious to do that type of soykaf. You might be in a different situation, but that's the coping mechanism I use to get by nowadays. I used to have a small social circle of close friends in undergrad that would meet up pretty much every day in the computer lab for my entire 4 years of college. Now, I just have myself but honestly, it's better to be by yourself than with a fake friend. That being said, I'm still putting some effort into finding friends this upcoming fall when new students (freshman and transfer students) come over. I think there should at least be a few people I can make a good connection with out of thousands. Shit like this is really why I'm starting to hate the Internet: in the past, if you were lonely and wanted to meet new people, you could go to interest groups and the like in your area depending on what you were interested in. The Internet only made the process of finding these groups faster and easier and didn't bleed into real life like that. Nowadays, all this soykaf is on retarded "apps" like discord, Instagram, Twitter, etc and a bunch of other social media soykaf we let control our lives. Why do people do this? It's not even convenient either. It's just prioritizing convenience/quantity over quality.

If there's nobody who can understand me, or just vaguely match my sensibilities, if there is not a single soul on this planet who apprecciates what I love, then why am I alive? If I'm unable to connect with anybody and maintain that connection, to deal with the crushing feeling of isolation must I live my life in the perpetual struggle of coping until the end, or accept the matter and live in sadness? How blessed are the people who don't realize their situation. To live life with nobody holding your back and not even notice. Never make any lasting friends, maintain relations only with family while having the shallowest bonds. This is a societal problem and the majority is simply unaware of it. I hope every lainon finds a person they can trust. This board is like a cry for help from the collective consciousness of humanity. Mankind got so far, but what did we gain?

>>82049 >i can magic myself up into an all nice ultra polite guy if necessary So you nuke your personality at will and wonder why people don't care for you.

>>82476 have i accidentally said that i wonder why? sorry if that's the case. i genuinely don't give a fuarrrk what you npcs think of me. i talk to playable characters, if there are any, so they may pick up whatever truths i have discovered, if they don't posses it already, and that they may share their truths with me, so i fill in the gaps as well. tl;dr your opinion has been discarded

>>82477 your online personality is barren as well, LOL

>>82477 >have i accidentally said that i wonder why? sorry if that's the case. i genuinely don't give a fuarrrk what you npcs think of me. i talk to playable characters, if there are any, so they may pick up whatever truths i have discovered, if they don't posses it already, and that they may share their truths with me, so i fill in the gaps as well >tl;dr your opinion has been discarded

You have to be really lucky to have friends. As a kid I had friends but it didn't really mean anything. When you're a kid you just want someone to play with so, if some random kid in the block isn't an asshole you can play with them and become "friends" from there on. But as you grow old you realize that you're different from everyone in your friend group and can't really relate to them at all. You can't share things with them, oh you found a new album you really like? Too bad you can't show it to anyone because they don't care. They're just soulless subhumans because they can't appreciate life. We used to hike up some hills to sneak into some gardens that had fruit we could steal, and on our way back I used to stop to look at the sunset and they would be so confused like "What are you doing? What are you looking at?". I think this is what people mean when they say NPCs. I don't know how I got so unlucky to be surrounded with so many of them.

>>81776 >so what's loneliness? Loneliness is rejection, the desire to want to be part of something, or someone, and see how it is not possible to achieve it. Feeling like the people around you don't care, and that you are nothing more than a burden to them. >>81766 >I'm trash Trash can always be recycled, and turned into something of value. Even if you don't believe it, you can do it, you can become someone better.

>>81710 Really relatable, I am studying philosophy as an undergrad right now and even though I pretty much learn non stop eight to ten hours a day, the concepts torment me as I fall asleep and am supposedly getting the best possible grades it all feels as though for naught. Not that it doesn't visibly change me. When I reflect on what I have became year after year I could swear that every time I am a completely different person. That being said... I too hardly know a thing, all of the knowledge I have acquired is like a drop in the ocean, even if we considered it in relation to only philosophy, that on top of that has already been written down in a somewhat clear fashion (Knowledge falling under philosophy being the ocean in that case). It would hardly help if I had ten or fifteen lifespans and a hyperbolic time-chamber on top of that... It really feels hopeless at times, on top of that there is an ever present anxiety that I shouldn't be even reading philosophy, because all my learning might be getting done inefficiently. What if what one should really be doing is actually just read maths? The more I learn the more I notice how the math and logic I already know dictates my limits of understanding, what if I go through the knowledge inefficiently and as such am simply wasting my time? Wouldn't it be better to first acquire all the known mathematical constructs to then be able to compile the philosophical knowledge I learn in a correct manner? It goes without saying, that acquiring them (the constructs) is only the first step in learning how to actively and accurately apply them in one's thinking. But there is a chance it can be done which would mean all I was doing up to that point by learning is simply a waste of time, at least content wise, since if this experience of learning brought me to the true source of wisdom, and I was able to make it mine, it would have given me the key I so desperately desire (the key or source being mathematical and logical knowledge and the way it shapes one's thinking). But even if I switched my focus to learning only mathematics, the subject is wide enough in itself that to truly learn it one requires more than one lifespan... The last mathematician that was able to advance it in all relevant aspects (different fields) was said to be Poincaré and he died at the beginning of the 20th century. The body of scientific knowledge has become so colossal that there is no way any mortal can get a hang of it anymore. When Kant begun his philosophical work he first was able to learn all relevant aspects of the science of his day, which by the way was already immensely difficult to do. With the amount of knowledge relevant for philosophical investigations that humanity has today it seems impossible to be a true philosopher in the sense that Kant could be called one. I haven't even touched upon how hard it is to make yourself philosophize correctly, and by that I mean "Going the bloody hard way" as Wittgenstein put it. The difficulties keep on piling up the more I think about it. It really feels hopeless at times, even if when one loses the sight of the big picture by immersing oneself in some particular problem at hand it can be pure bliss. But it's quite sad that what philosophy had to become is precisely focusing on the detail, forgetting how it is all tied up together. (This is why Analytic philosophy can be so interesting to do, but every time you reflect on what you are really doing it is as though you betrayed all the dreams of what philosophy was supposed to be.)

lmao there are so many worthless degrees why'd you choose philosophy of all things???

>>82745 Idk, initially I thought that if I learned a lot of difficult things I'd get better trips on acid. But somewhere along the way it sucked me in and now I just do it because it is incredibly interesting and university offers both a solid curriculum and a place you can discuss your ideas. The latter being quite a treat if one has no friends who share similar interests. There is also the fact that useless degrees in the EU don't ruin you as much as in the US.

>>82749 i get what you mean but >There is also the fact that useless degrees in the EU don't ruin you as much as in the US. i think it's pretty much the opposite if we don't count debt. from what i gather anglos think that pretty much any degree is good because it shows intelligence and ability to work on deadlines. here if you don't have the proper degree you don't have the job period and arts degree are often seen as bullshit that people laugh about and people often omit them from their CV. anyways i know a lot of arts degree guys that went to IT later because it was one of the sectors where they could get in without a degree

>>82750 I thought mostly about debt, if I were to be 100k in debt and all I got was a philosophy degree I'd honestly ponder offing myself. That being said, there is also the fact that in my country we have a tradition of philosophy that is really analytical so that it is more about maths than it is about arts. As a matter of fact, from what I heard a lot of people who get a degree go on to work in the US and even if for the US standards they don't make crazy money, when we consider that what is at least somewhat decent pay in the US, in EU, and especially in my country becomes quite a sizeable amount. When it comes to the standards of what philosophy is supposed to be my country mostly shares similar values to the prevalent approach in the anglosphere and supposedly US unis know that. I don't really view it as a humanist subject, although it is perhaps one of the least useful for making money amongst the hard-sciences. But hey, there is also the "do what makes you happy" part.

>>82744 real education starts when you see past academia

>>82751 >least useful for making money amongst the hard sciences >philosophy >a hard science every time a piece of philosophy becomes hard it winds up being called a separate science like physics. There may be something here about philosophers and getting laid, but it would be purely speculative and anecdotal as far as I could discus it. >>82750 >here if you don't have the proper degree you don't have a job period tfw have done professional creative technical work in EU without any degree letalone an applicable one. Get on my level europ0wnd's. >>82603 >trash can always be recycled but its frequently cheaper to just start fresh

>>82744 >What if what one should really be doing is actually just read maths? Actually what one should be doing is *doing* maths. >The last mathematician that was able to advance it in all relevant aspects (different fields) was said to be Poincaré and he died at the beginning of the 20th century. This is often said with variations on the particular person (Gauss, Neummann, etc.). I don't think it's really true. There are plenty of generalists in math, and a typical graduate-level math education is enough to get started in any field you want. The question isn't whether you can say you "know all of math", which I don't think anybody in history can claim except the first mathematicians, but whether you could understand and advance any particular part of math. Kind of like how I don't know all the code that's in my computer right now, but I could open up a source files and make sense of it if I wanted/needed to, and I understand the principles of how the system operates. In this sense I am knowledgeable about my computer, even if I don't know literally everything about it. >The body of scientific knowledge has become so colossal that there is no way any mortal can get a hang of it anymore. That's probably true. The more general statement is that there is more static (written/recorded) information now than ever before. This is due to 1) more people being alive 2) more people being able to read and write and 3) more tools to produce and transmit information being cheap and easily available, and 4) more people having free time or even being employed specifically to produce information in any given topic. It doesn't mean that the amount of stuff you need to know to be an expert has changed.

>>82754 What I was describing was strictly the philosophical current prevalent in the anglosphere during the 20th century, it aimed at making philosophy into what can only be described as a hard-science, or at the very least it wanted to make philosophy share as many features with it as possible. I go by people like Ayer, or other neopositivists, also the Vienna circle. One could make a case for philosophy not being a science at all and I'd be inclined to agree with that approach to the issue myself. (Considering that neopositivism in philosophy mostly ended in a failure when Carnap gave up his more ambitious projects.) >>82755 >Actually what one should really be doing is *doing* maths If you mean that it is rather pointless to simply read mathematical papers without cracking the problems yourself than yes, of course, and I'm well aware of that. I used the word "read" because that was the first thing that came to me when thinking of how would I begin, were I to start learning mathematics this very moment. I should have obviously written it more clearly and not just type as if I was by myself. >The question isn't whether you can say you "know all of maths" [...] That is true, I was being hyperbolic. But at the same time this perfectionism which wants to have all and won't have it any other way is still the cause of grief when faced with the fact that this knowing all is out of one's reach. If one always followed the course set by it it would be impossible to get anything done at all, but from time to time this desire slips through anyways and causes frustration. >It doesn't mean that the amount of stuff you need to know to be an expert has changed. Sure I can see that about the expert part, but what I was writing about was that ideal of a philosopher who is able to first become an expert in all the fields of knowledge of his time to only then be able to become an expert when it comes to philosophy (seeing that philosophy aims at being able to find foundations for all of science, or even all of knowledge.) Aristotle was still able to do that in his time and we could call him an expert in this idealistic sense. Somewhere along the line this ideal became unattainable for a human being and all we are left with, is the meaning of "expert" that means something along the lines of "being somewhat academically functional". Its not that it could be any other way and still aiming at such a dead ideal is nothing short of stupidity, but realising the state of things leaves one with at least a bit of sadness.

except when its causing actual harm to you in my honest opinion and ive thought about this a lot, un-ideal friends are better than no friends. You need to have good friends too, its very vital to have good friends. But as a baseline, a friend who isnt the greatest is still better than nothing. when you are alone in many ways you dont learn, and you dont remember. A bad friend maybe when you are honestly doing something good for yourself will harp on it or try to bring you down, this is why its important to have good people around you too. So you have the perspective to just ignore it, to not take it so seriously, to understand that they are your friend but in this specific way they are unhelpful. However by yourself unless you are at some stable self realized point in your life here is what happens; you do something good for yourself and it really doesnt feel like it made a big impact, it never does. You have no one around you to talk about it with, it feels the same or maybe it even feels worse than when you do something that hurts yourself in the long run. No eyes are on you to see how it impacts you, you yourself have too much bias and attatchments to judge it accurately. Its pure luck, maybe you do everything right or maybe everything thats bad for you is comfortable and everything good feels wrong. There is no one to see through you and your habits, no one to hold you accountable, its very safe and very static. Which isnt to say you cant see these things for yourself, maybe every night you take stock and know something is very wrong but there is no feedback or consequence or congratulations for anything you do as you move through the day, everything is the same as long as it doesnt kill you. And so none of it is real, no goals you set are spoken and so there is no real obligation to them, there isnt anything to differentiate when you are really being serious and when you "didnt really mean it anyways" or "it was just a thought". A bad day for you might feel exactly the same as a good day, there isnt any need to think about what made it a bad day or a good day cause there isnt anyone letting you know that you dont seem very well or that you seem in especially good spirits. No drive to think about what you might have done that day differently that put you in bad or good spirits, and you likely would not even remember it. Im not like denouncing the hermit way of life as impossible but I do think most who go down that road and are happy have learned hundreds of voices of others they keep with them internally to check themselves. Personally and I didnt think this at the time, I dont really have a memory of the times I was alone. For awhile I thought I did but it was all very general and vague compared to time I spent with others. Its a science like anything, if your memories of your experience are vague and general based off of weeks of isolation shrunk down into vibes and moments than your decisions based off those memories are also haphazard and meandering. You can hardly trust yourself in that state. There is no self made man. You can be just as lonely without people as with people but without people you won't even begin to figure out whats at the core of your loneliness you just will run down an almost infinite number of corridors over and over, some of which you could run down for your whole life convinced you are almost at the end and never get there. I dont mean to freak you out or maybe im totally not and I just sound overdramatic but I actually am trying to freak you out cause thats what helped me. I started really seeing loneliness as a type of death because you almost have to. Other people can feel like threats and death in that isolated space, and they can be in reality, so unless loneliness is also death why decide to walk into a bar or wherever and be vulnerable. Why join some class, why move somewhere new, why suddenly reach out to those you cut off due to anxieties and fears or shame or whatever. Im sure theres a better way but I dont know it, what I do know is that my anxieties and avoidance of others I only really took initiative about when i said to myself that being (truly) alone would be the death of me and id take a million embarassing moments and regrets seen and commented on by others over living my life in my head.

>>82772 This is a tricky decision to make, I've been in this situation before where I thought I'd rather have mediocre/bad friends than be alone. And whenever I got to having them I always regretted it, I just didn't want to be around these people and it was very exhausting. >you do something good for yourself and it really doesnt feel like it made a big impact, it never does. You have no one around you to talk about it with, This is true but the thing is, people I hung out with wouldn't have liked stuff I created anyway, I couldn't share anything I liked with them. You can look at this from another angle, create stuff while you're alone and share it on online communities and you might find people who are into similar stuff. That's a better way to find the right people instead of just hanging out with whoever and hoping they can connect with what you think is important.

>>78931 literally me. Not really a choice if i am not excited by some "friend" companionship and he is not excited by mine neither. However sometimes i do think me being insecure is very related, as just by thinking that no one would have fun with me because i am boring and dumb - so thinking this naturally i stopped approaching friends and strangers. I would never turn off someone invitation to hang out, but there really was no such invitations. Mostly i asked a "friend" about something, or just asked how is he doing then he said that after all we could hang out, but i thought this may be perceived as emotional manipulation from my side - like i treat him like he owns me companionship just because we used to be friend back in high school (10 years ago), then i would never ask them out again or even ask how they are doing, thinking thats now their turn to approach me, or power relation would be too skewed on his side

i joined dance classes and its 2 months in already and i still barely exchanged words with anyone, did not even asked for any of these girls name

>>84342 >who's lainon? He looks kinda cute, but every time I make eye contact or try to talk to him he looks terrified

>>84346 thx for comforting thought but doubt i "look cute", i am so fuarrrking old, 29 with pathches of baldness on temples and front of the head, and single silver hair strains and despite my look i am only "wise" during one-on-one "intimate" conversations sprinkled with some alcohol. All i exude during normal social interactions, in groups when i am one of many is insecureness, that makes women disgusted, especially when i am so old that i should already know how to act, like i am perfect and i know it. Also i would have less concerns about showing my attraction, approaching or asking out girls, if girl is total stranger or someone from act, and i dont risk ever meeting her again, vs the risk when i will meet her and time and time again after she rejects me, because she is in the same group and social activity i somehow care about

>>81690 It feels good I guess you never had sex with good prostitute

>>82744 Read Heidegger, philosophy ended with him. Analytic philosophy is retarded masturbation

>>78931 I'm in a somewhat similar boat. I'm 23 and haven't made any new friends since high school. At first this wasn't a big issue because I've kept contact with my friends from school, but now that I live hundreds of miles away from my hometown, I can only talk to them through Discord. I've been in college for half a year and haven't really made any friends. Sure, I have acquaintances that I talk to in college, but I can't say I've made any real, close friends.

>>84392 This is simply because people are afraid to make new friends, especially difficult when you don't have common interests. It's taken me until now (one and a half years of college) before I found someone who meets my minimum friend criteria of actually seeking conversations with me, up to now I had 'friends' where it was very very one-sided and frustrating. Basically, I am just saying what you've figured out. It's hard. It might not even be your fault. I put in a legitimate, large effort into finding a friend. Read articles, went out, etc. In the end, none of that really helped, we just started up conversation and that was that. I wish you luck lain.

>>81660 You already know the answer and it's nothing to do with love or desire to stay with them.

>>78931 Force yourself to interact with humans. Find clubs with nerds or clubs with gun addicts or some soykaf. Just go to some pub or bar and sit there and try to talk. Do anything in fact to break that barrier. Hell, just tell random people that you don't have friends and try to explain why. Who knows what will happen after that?

>>84360 Get /fit/, seek adventure, tan your skin a bit and accept the older look. Dress well and stand upright with your chin slightly up, make long strides when you walk. Think of greater things regarding the universe. Shave your head, try a beard, add some style if necessary, some color and carry interesting objects around your wrists or neck. And above all, try not to give too much of a damn about others. Face large crowds and just stand there as if people were fishes and plant seeds going with the flow of a river. Don't try to talk too much in fact, even with people or women. You probably feel forced to have to say something, but cultivate a way to quantify and limit the amount of soykaf you may even need to say. Sometimes silence is charisma. Be stern. Pick your favorite book and go read it outside, on a bench. Your problem is that you put too much pressure on yourself. And again, get fuarrrking /fit/.

Go to the park. Take a book and a little cooler with food. Take some pictures and post them here. If you get a chance, say something to somebody. Try not to look dangerous or insane. Take a board game. Ask somebody if they want to play cards or something. Take a guitar. There's usually someone willing to play it if you can't. Even if you don't make a friend right away, at least you had a nice day at the park.