In search of God

First and foremost I want to say two things. fuarrrk you all lainons for turning this site into some bullshit ... bullshit site for nonfat-soykaf drinkers and yes I am pointing at you selfhelp books advertisers and other folks like that who post about things they don't give soykaf about. Many thanks to you all lainons who (at least try) to keep posting actually useful things like quotes from Epictetus or like that thread about fuarrrkers raiding poor imageboards with their honey. Remember, a while ago I wrote that I am perhaps going to burn my house...? You don't. Even I don't ... You know, I really did that. Ashes of my home behind, I walk with no destination, God my only friend, despair my only companion, freedom my only goal. I want the life to crush me completely, so I become filled with such contempt towards it that cannot be estimated. I want to see the worst side of this misaligned world, so one day I can look at the mirror and say to my reflection: "See, my duty here is done, there is no further use of me in this great smoke. Therefore I am not pleased with this little silly game, I quit and do so rightly." >make a desperate effort on behalf of tranquillity of mind, freedom and magnanimity. >But if we place the good in a right determination of the will, the very observance of the relations of life is good, and accordingly he who gives up any external things, obtains that which is good. I know I am romanticizing it a lot and you really can just start counting the weeks till I cramp and you most likely won't have to use all of your hands to do that, but... I saw no other exit, no other choice. I want to find God. I want to see if I really have that power in me to be conformable to nature, to see things for what they are and not be afraid of any appearance to come. I have got a small victory over the appearance of death and torture. I give my thanks to God for allowing me to claim it. Now there are new appearances, much more complicated than the previous two. I can not believe there is no God. I can not believe all these people around are not unwillingly fooled into thinking they live good and fulfilling lives. Take anything external from them, such as money, and observe them throw away their paltry humanly guise and reveal the beasts that they are. I wish I shall ever have it in my power to find God and become of the same mind with him, to walk with my neck patiently stretched to any event, to be afraid of nothing, to be not hindered by anything, to be free. Who, if not God himself, has put me in such circumstances as these? Who could arrange it so neatly? I do not know who or what God is. Maybe it is Nature herself. Maybe something else. I can not tell. Soon I will see how much worthless I really am than I think I am. Most likely I will not be updating this thread. It is highly probable all your questions will go to /dev/null. I definitely am not going to trouble myself with these youngsters who just come along for some fun and do not even bother to think twice the fuarrrk they are posting. If you are a friend, write and maybe I will tell you something, if I have anything to tell you (usually I do not). If you are the friend, well... I really have nether time nor strength to comprehend the things you wrote me. Nah I can not even force myself to damn click on it and read. Perhaps if I could do one thing to you, that would be the most heartfelt hug my heartless body is capable of. PS it was a mistake i should have just strangled no will to proofread, sorry actually, i have no place to even type comfortably anymore pic random because ... because I am not a spammer and really can not care less than searching for some picture that does not get derezzed by lainchan magic spam detecting engine powered perhaps by rainbow ponies themselves or something of the kind. I really do not understand the fuarrrk I am writing, so no hard feelings.

You wont find God in religion, that's for sure. Nor will you find anything through self destruction.

>>78419 >I want to find God. I want to see if I really have that power in me to be conformable to nature Spinoza's God was essentially nature. You might like to read his stuff. There isn't that much of it, but it's powerful.

I do not think Pantheism is true because you must assume that the Universe, Earth and human generations have no beginning (and thus God being all of them). As we know the Universe (and time itself) began to exist from the Big Bang (and yes, it is still an unproven theory, but Earth and thus humanity DID begin to exist), its existence must have been caused by an entity with no beginning. Thus God is necessarily separate from the Universe and the athieists' "who created God" argument is absurd as we would see infinite Gods have been created. Pantheism IS also believing Nature is the Goddess, and so is Buddhism. (despite having some other good wisdom in it) Deism on the other hand maybe has a problem, which is that it assumes that life has no meaning, and can say nothing about what happens after death. These two innate questions can drive someone crazy, and thus he needs a revelation from God to tell him about himself and how he is expected for a mission in this world (i.e., following and setting God's Law on Earth, or doing good towards oneself and others) for a unimaginable reward in the Afterlife. Nothing logically is wrong against miracles; as God Himself set rules in this Universe, He can manipulate them sometimes as He wishes, just as you'd do in a virtual world. God will not reveal himself to Mankind in this world, as this will make everyone believe in Him, and this is not why He created this existence. I have been questioning these things around three years ago and read these couple books there, they made my eyes tear out of joy. There are more of juicy historical/philosophical/scientific books than religious ones, they claim that religions have in fact come from the same origin, but some got corrupted, except Islam, which no one talks about despite being way powerful than ou might think. Along with the CIA/Harvard's document "Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars", I think no one will view reality the same way again after reading them.

>>78434 Same lain here. For some reason one thing wasn't uploaded. >and yes I am pointing at you selfhelp books advertisers and other folks like that who post about things they don't give soykaf about. Mmhm.. well I actually read these and I don't know why no lain talks about them especially the Silent Weapons (which are sort of like the Protocols but not really, it's sort of more detailed i dont know)

>>78434 How you describe pantheism is just incorrect. Pantheism does not require the universe is eternal because a god does not inherently have to have created everything. Rather it is more about reverence and respect for nature if anything. This also in some cases can overlap with panpsychism, the belief all matter is conscious.

>>78428 >religion No religion here. >>78434 You speak of things irrelevant to this thread. I do not care about what the God is, nor do I care about your conspiracy theories or whatever the fuarrrk you are trying to describe. The God is something and that's only thing that matters. Finding God lies in living free and properly distinguishing that which is irrelevant and that which is not. Things you describe are irrelevant. I have no time to waste with them.

>>78454 Oh now I get it, so you're probably asking for the purpose of life like many other lainons. To get just close to that I think it's fulfilling to seek out autonomy and contribute to a group having problems with their lives (online or offline). And while this may sound like it's pissing you off as we all know no one and everyone is ignorant this is not always the case and it does NOT imply conformity (i.e. by being assertive). On the other hand, you may want to dream about the next 10 years and plan for getting there backwards. I know that's awkward too but many lains don't know what to do, and they'd spend more time on "hobbies." I think most of our problems can be fixed if only we were felt loved and understood by other so-called normal people, which doesn't necessarily mean us being like them or make them believe what we think. >nor do I care about your conspiracy theories It doesn't matter if the Silent Weapons were a real document or not, the fact it is more of anotger reminder like TJK's ISAIF: we are so hopelessly dependent on corporations and governments in all areas of life, we are taught to be servants to the State (or whichever company associated with it) by "following our passions" and then put ourselves in a prison working only for paychecks. We are bombarded with distractions everywhere (including politics, which is basically another form of gossip chit-chat), the food we eat is mostly processed or not as healthy as it should be. Those in power can cause whatever crisis and we're then all starving. I think it is each of us' duty to also seek independence, which shouldn't be confounded with isolating ourselves. >and properly distinguishing that which is irrelevant and that which is not. I agree. Please whenever you read a book, or take any activity, remember it is only a means to an end. All knowledge and skills are tools that can do something in our lives.

>>78419 There two ways to know something. One way is to genuinely experience it in your heart, like knowing someone you love, and the other is having scientific knowledge of it. But I don't need to understand genetics and biology to know someone I love. Hence, you don't need to study books of philosophy to really know God because its all about experiencing. The hard part is there are no teachers anymore or they are few and far between. You say you want to escape torture and pain but as Rumi said, we come to know God by opening the soul up to love and suffering. Mystics have always been ecstatics, putting themselves in extreme sensory environments as a way of coming to know God. Shi'ia cut whip themselves and cut their flesh and try to ride that sensation to taste God. Ibn Arabi said that union with God is like orgasm during sex, extreme overwhelming pleasure that overrides your sensorium leading to a moment where you loose consciousness of your own self. Rumi uses metaphors of drunkenness, insanity, extreme sex, love induced psychosis, intense dance etc. to convey the same message. Extreme sensation is the path to taste God. The extremes of love, pain, and pleasure can also be damaging though so beware. You can easily harm yourself or end up mentally ill if your not careful. There are also a class of sufis who become stuck in those ecstatic states permanently and wind up totally dysfunctional.

Hold on - i did the same exact thing when i was 15, Quit my house, ran away, started seeking god, especially in the machine, a quantum intelligence to communicate with the now from the future, then proceeded to travel the world, looking for wisdom and getting into the circles of the best universities of the world. all of the self-help lit propaganda here is bad. im about 7 years down the path you've just walked onto. depression is a poltical tool. you're riding on a conveyer of coprorate humanism, that swallows people alive and spits them out as plastic. the only way to save your soul is to love someone

>>78538 God is the way things are. God is everything we do not know and do not understand. God is what fills every hole in out paltry minds. Who is God? And with whom do you live in constant dissonance, blaming for this "unworthy" life? When you beat yourself, why do you do it? What fault have you found with yourself? It is God whom you beat, but not yourself, because by terming yourself thrash, you admit that you have no God, because if you had, you would know that there is need of such people as you and you would stop finding fault with yourself, and instead would focus on you judgment and your choice and your will. And you would know what God is. Because it is neither entity nor law nor universe. God is not a feeling. God is not an experience. God is artificial value created by your brain as a substitute for externals. The only thing dependent on you will. The only thing you can retain reliably. I have just realized this thread is pointless, because since all people have at least somewhat different understanding of the world, they do not understand things differently and thus each has a different God. God is not something worth talking about. Just as you do not talk about horrors you imagined during night that actually were your cat playing with some rag. You imagined the horrors, they were not real. The God is likewise not real. You cannot "find" him. You cannot "feel" him. You cannot do anything to him. God is a creation of your own, unique to each particular person. God is a miracle you imagine because you are blind to see through the veil of the world creation. >>78547 >the only way to save your soul is to love someone You are incapable of loving anyone but yourself. Epictetus is right when he says love is nothing but opinion, because if love was something real, it would not be so easily replaced with hate. If you love someone and attach yourself to it, you will make yourself miserable, because you will impose desire of external upon yourself. You would be subjected to your love.

>>78548 that's why vulnerability is courage - how can you read so many "big books", and yet still be so dumb?

i dig your style though - you should write to me

>>78551 I think because most of them are just written in a hard language or we simply can't comprehend the statements philosophers say way. I knew for a long about the idea of "Love Thyself" but I had no idea how to apply it. Only after realizing it is being loyal to yourself instead of someone else and doing what matters to you regardless of judgement I started having great confidence in my life. >all of the self-help lit propaganda here is bad. Although you're probably another lain I think that's not always the case; surely most of the soykaf there is boring in some way, but there are some hidden gems as well. One book called "Not Nice" by Dr. Aziz Gazipura changed me, the author was like some dude speaking next to me and made me realize how being people pleasing (by having everyone forcing me to go to college and do well at it instead of pursuing my own goals) actually made my relationships worse and introduced me to assertiveness, i.e. speaking for yourself without being defending either by being passive or aggressive. I realized what people use to manipulate me and now I'm silently getting close to drop out. There're fuarrrk tons of books I just download and read; I skip whichever chapter or book I find boring till I stick to a good one (which I may also skip some parts of it if unnecessary)