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How do I escape my own mind? It stopped feeling like a simple prison and progressed into a whole labyrinth. I'm not really good at explaining so I'll give you some examples of what goes on inside. It's been like this for about 5 years now. >a small fire in the back of my head telling me to get my soykaf together 24/7 and make something of myself >this fire says time is runnng out for me i'm only 5 years away from age 30 do not waste it >try rationalize every single action and thing >write music as a hobby for fun, realise its a waste of time I might as well play video games as theres no way I will turn into a huge artist anytime soon >play video games realise i'm wasting time >browse image boards or youtube instead realise i'm wasting time >want to build a gaming computer realise its a waste of money and i'll waste time playing games and money on them >time&Moneytime&money&money&time >so I tell myself "start working out" >for sure, tomorrow >never do >tell myself to get off my ass and start looking for business ideas >yeah no problem >go back to browsing image boards or making music >rinse and repeat >rinease and repeat >rinse and repeat drugs have helped smoothen it out or temporary escape the labyrnth but eventually they stopped working. I will probably kill myself at age 30 should this continue. I never even had a gf and stopped caring about all that at this point.

read a book that explains the 8 circuits like prometheus rising. you will become aware of your own actions if you absorb all its contents

You have to work on the internal and the external at the same time and stop avoiding/fighting yourself. Probably most of what you describe here is a series of excuses and coverups. You do not enjoy things because you are anxious and worried you don't deserve enjoyment, you try to appease the anxiety by pretending to imagine a way out of your problems, to avoid those flimsy fake hopes burning up in the light of day you go back to pretending to try to enjoy yourself instead. That cycle is the best your ego can do to defend itself. >make something of myself >theres no way I will turn into a huge artist anytime soon >get off my ass and start looking for business ideas >time&Moneytime&money&money&time I could be wrong but here's what this sounds like to me: you are saying someone else's words. They mean nothing to you, but the best resistance you've come up with is to submit just enough to avoid immediate consequences. Which is not a bad strategy for a child or a person under total control of someone else, but if you're the only one doing this to yourself then you can do better. Find your own words, find the things you yourself actually would care to do with your time on earth. Joy is strength, get stronger, if it seems like you can't directly face what's in front of you do it anyway. Also learn to pirate games it's free.

>>76731 brown noise, that shuts down the constant noise

The buddhadharma and I'm not kidding.

>>76731 Short answer: Figure out what you want to do with your life and do it. You already made up your mind that some of the things you did were a waste of time. You now need the discipline not to waste your time on those things. And you need to find out what is not a waste of time. >It stopped feeling like a simple prison and progressed into a whole labyrinth. Your examples look to me not like a prison or labyrinth but rather a disintegration. You can look up positive disintegration theory, it might do you some good https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration >so I tell myself "start working out" If you don't need to be physically strong and don't need it to be healthy, don't bother. It's just another waste of resources. >drugs You'll probably just harm yourself if you try to cover or "escape" this with drugs. >I never even had a gf and stopped caring about all that at this point. If you fix your diet and lifestyle and your hormones go back to normal you'll probably start caring about that again. >How do I escape my own mind? Whether this is even possible depends on the definition of "your own mind"

stop taking drugs, stop talking, sit down a cock and listen

others have made points that i completely agree with. but i also think you should look into therapy, you have unresolved issues that have went on for many years. they are going to be difficult to manage on your own when you are so drowned in them. a professional might help you find your way out of the dark. also stop taking drugs. hedonism will not get rid of your mental prison.

>>76731 We're extremely similar. I'm also 25, I also had music dreams, and I'm also chronically online. What I realized is that I didn't actually enjoy making music, or working out, so it all felt like a waste of time. The real solution to me is embracing the one thing I do enjoy -- writing -- and then I can put up with all the other bullshit, including work and aging.

I dont get it. Should i find what i ENJOY and do it or anyway i need some discipline?

>>78381 Your mind doesn't want you to stagnate, it wants you to move forward. It wants to find something hard to do you can both enjoy and learn thoroughly. Something that will help you accumulate social and fiscal resources. For most people, you will need two things: A skill, something that increases the amount of your money. A passion, something that is hard to do but you find enjoyable and can advance in. These can be the same thing, but they don't have to be. For me It's programming and making games. Also: Have a social circle you can spend time with. Take care of your body and your looks and you will feel much better and you can attract a mate. Video games are a waste of time in my opinion, I still play a lot of them when I lack the focus to work on anything important. Your mind also needs to relax. Move towards these and your mind just might stop nagging.

a very easy way out, and i'll only say this once - look at this from a lens of meaningful connection. for you it could be, whatever puts life for you into perspective. then you will see how shallow this endless running is, and maybe even give yourself a hand and compassion in generosity of interpretation in recognizing the reasons for your behavior - not feeling grounded not feeling in place constantly running from one thing to the next not feeling like you can *think* and what makes us human? cogito ergo sum we have our whole society now running mindlessly and "scrolling" through the experiences of life as if it was a tiktok homepage, in a frenzy of a man, like that described by Oliver Sacks, who could not seem to restore his past, but mindlessly stressed for his life in the intuitionalist recognition of the lack of something he was too dementiac to comprehend. this is what we all feel. our culture lacks ground you - lack grounding and thats okay. no shaman is needed to understand how destructive the era of postmodernism is to the individual human psyche, esp in countries like America in the West what is, after all, the "postmodern condition"? what can you do? extend to yourself a hand of sociological compassion. "fear destroys the mind" (Dune), as much as stress destroys the mind - through compassion, regain your ability to think, as opposed to mindlessly swinging from one thing to the second in a frenzy. meditate. meditate on finality, and you will come to your truest desires, as the thing you would consider to be solely important at the face of death and as you repeat that, you will slowly, steadily and gradually come to realize: how do i do that

>>78381 There is a circle of things you enjoy doing. There is a circle of things that have growth potential. Find the overlap between the two circles -- you wouldn't mind doing it everyday, AND it has potential to move you forward in life.

>>76731 You literally just have high serotonin (not the "happiness hormone" it's recently been made out to be) from gut inflammation. I leave it to you to figure out how to do this. Hints: endotoxin, gluten, carrageenan, "plant defense chemicals".

>>78383 a very simple exercise to do with this: you know how all the things you find beautiful, you like because you have it within yourself to like them. now say, you have a child with you, who finds all the same things beautiful. would you want them to suffer? would you want them to have a shallow experience of life beating themseleves up in their own head, unable to know oneself or the world? or, what would you want for them?

>>76731 You have a lot of company. What you're describing is common. If you remain addicted to negative thinking it will turn your life into a slow hell for no good reason whatsoever. There are a number of ways of improving your mental state. Here are a few suggestions: 1. Find a faith or belief system that helps mold your mind in a more positive direction. One of the simplest and most practical, and with the least amount of supernatural poopoo, is zen buddhism. Suzuki wrote a number of good books if you're interested in reading about it. 2. You could try cognitive behavioural therapy, which is specifically designed to help overcome this sort of pointlessly negative thinking. Therepists vary widely in their skill and effectiveness, but you can find a good one if you look around. 3. The single most effective thing you can do on your own to remedy this mindset is learn to expel negative thoughts whenever they pop into your head. You can learn to be on guard for them and simply stop thinking about them immediately. Once you get the knack of it, your mood will start to improve quickly and you will wonder why you ever wasted your time dwelling on thoughts that only bring misery. Your mind is a private club. You are the bouncer. Throw out the trouble-makers every time they try to sneak in.

>>76731 How are you now OP? What you are going though isn't uncommon and it's clear you have some wired addiction going on. Don't waste time on self-help books or youtube videos. The solution is very simple, set out a day or the weekend for internet and video-games and do something else during the other days. It will feel even more rewarding when you know you've done your best during the week. The imageboards and the video-games aren't going anywhere; they will be waiting for you. You won't miss out on anything. And the pro of doing something positive/good will be that you won't have the small fire in the back of you head telling you your are wasting time, instead you will enjoy them more. If you are incapable of spending a week without internet/computer, go to a farm and have them give you work, unironically. Or any place without internet. There's a reason why they send addicts to farms: they map out their days for them by giving them work to keep them occupied. >browse image boards or youtube instead realise i'm wasting time It's not a waste of time, because you clearly like doing it. Guilting and beating yourself up won't help you. Your problem is that it's *the only* thing you focus on doing. We need variety. Read a wikipieda article. Not just skim it, actually read it. Read a book from classic lit. Listen to an album of genre you usually ignore. Visit a place in your town you've never been to. Get variety in your life. >How do I escape my own mind? It stopped feeling like a simple prison and progressed into a whole labyrinth. Easy: stop thinking and start doing. Stop thinking, planning and stop finding new creative ways to procrastinate. Do something positive/good that you've been putting off, now; like, right now, this moment. Don't think about it, don't prepare yourself mentally "to get ready", don't say "tomorrow", just. do. it. If you are waiting for the universe to give you a sign, this is it. Close Lainchan, and go do it. NOW!

For me there was a moment I just had a breaking point. I thought to myself "what the fuarrrk am I doing with my life" for a minute, shut off my computer, chugged down the rest of my energy drink, put on a jacket and started running. Just when I was out of breathe I came across a glassy lake. As I looked at my reflection a leaf fell and caused a ripple distorting the image. In that moment it all became clear. Idk how to describe it, but I think the solution is to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and find new experiences dont let yourself get comfortable or fall into habits. It's a weekly ritual for me now to go on a walk every Saturday to get my thoughts straight and plan for the coming week.

>>80316 Also as blunt and counter intuitive as it might sound, just stop giving a soykaf. Nothing on the wired is real anyway, it certainly doesn't help you but it doesn't detract from you that much either. Just don't let it define you. Becoming the master of your own destiny is realizing no one can give you they key to the labyrinth. It's something only you can figure out on your own, as it's your creation after all.