/sol/ - solutions

This thread spawned from the current /vent/ thread and the shared desire to stop complaining and to work things out. We can discuss the condition of the human life and how to better it for ourselves with strategy. Our first subject concerns the possibility of finding a virgin girlfriend you like in today's world. Specifically where and how to find them based on age, area, and possibly profession. For starters, I think that college is the last real chance to reliably find one because there are so many students that devoted time to studying and getting into good schools such that they didn't explore their sexualities earlier. Students bound for graduate programs and freshmen are the most likely out of this bunch. That being said, what can you do if you are a senior in college? Is starting a relationship with someone most likely younger than you even fruitful?(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST, You should always elaborate on your opinions rather than just spilling the soykaf. Seriously we have had enough dating / relationship advice threads in /hum/ & /r/ that just become bickering and insults, please let this thread be different)

This is what lainchan has devolved to, then? Needing to find a boyfriend-free girl?

>>75964 Theres a big difference between boyfriend free, and extra virgin. Chris ultimately did find himself a boyfriend free girl, but not virgin. >>75958 >are relationships with younger people even fruitful? Obviously there's nothing wrong with marrying down in age if you can arrange it. If you're a college senior courting a freshman thats not even marrying down in age in any meaningful way. At any rate, if statistics are to be trusted, once you get to mid/late 20s fewer than 10% virginity remains in your age group. Aiming younger seems prudent as a general strategy.

>>75964 Some of us desire strong emotional connections with people such that having previous relationships would tarnish the feeling; it's something more than simply having the same interests or compatable personalities (even though those things are, more or less, equally important). Then there's also the question is what determine's who gets to be someone's first. Is it solely dependent on time or other things such as sexual success/maturity. Those things should also be discussed in this thread, but in accordance with finding an answer rather than whining about the fact that people have sex. That's more of a /vent/ thing. You may not care, but in that case this thread's current topic isn't for you. >>75966 I feel the same way about marrying down in age as it's something you see normally, but the main concern comes from institution itself. College is an insular place and everyone going to it will usually wind up in very different places at the end. So it doesn't seem fruitful for a senior, who might be leaving in less than a year, to try and start a relationship with someone older than him or herself. Then again, thinking too much about stuff like that prevents action and ought to be ignored. I obviouslt don't think one should go out and randomly come up to someone in an inorganic manner like that, but I think everyone ought to go for it and talk when they have the chance to.

now that is a lot of words to ask "how do i get laid?". the answer is charisma, chemistry, hygiene, guts and luck. as always, it's mostly luck. remember swearing off sex and committing to something else costs a lot less in personal embarrassment, harassment accusations, abortion pills and condoms. maybe whenever you get hard, that's not your monkey brain demanding some vadge, that's the universe telling you to pick up a new hobby :) maybe cardio? what's this imageboard about again?

>>75969 this problem with going separate ways at the end of school is the same even if you're both in the same year and might get different jobs or whatever far away. Also a problem with highschool, these societally enforced breakups are I think a blight but things we have to work with as individuals. Unfortunately seems the Mrs degree is declined in popularity. Other than the obvious (if its important to you to marry, should be willing to demand and make some concessions) Im not sure what the answer to this problem can be on a personal level. Neurosis have lead many people to shoot themselves in the feet, best to not have them over such silly things imho >>75983 Of course good kids are unquantifiable valuable so swearing it off will leave you inexpressibly impovershed in comparison.

>>75984 >Of course good kids are unquantifiable valuable now that is what we call an opinion. maybe dude is like kicking dead whales down the beach at being a dad, now those children amount to not much more than financial drains and broken hearts.

>>75985 you may have noticed that I used the term 'good kids' and not merely 'kids'. Just as a cripple will likely lake mess money and so be poorer than he might otherwise be, someone unable to have good kids will have limited potential wealth than someone more capable. This doesn't mean that good kids aren't unquantifiably valuable. And perhaps almost everything normal friends accomplish basically rounds to zero anyway, so might as well try to be a good dad.

>>75983 the question is obviously not "how to get laid" as that's relatively easy compared to what's being discussed here. I'd reccomend learning English and reading the rest of the thread for context. Bad faith simplifications are annoying as hell. >what's this imageboard about again Read the /hum/ description and tell me.

it seems someone had good luck and some advice on YouTube

>Someone posts a god tier thread >Idiots reply with negativity Typical...

>>76121 Well, at least you're here now. Have any insights?

>>75862 Well I got offered the jobs, both decent enough offers though nothing special I have to figure out whether to take them now, what do lains think? >Current position >Decent job, comfortable, easy working conditions >Current employer is paying for my education which is a big plus >Shitty town >Very low cost of living, live with family so only pay utilities >Most of my family is here, no friends etc. left here though >Could get a mortgage right now if I wanted to, but don't feel comfortable here >Local nightlife options are getting drunk and watching cows fuarrrk, neither of which I like doing. vs >New job >Not that much better paid but decent conditions, don't know what culture/team will be like >Regional city >Lowish cost of living, will have to pay rent which I don't currently, though if I end up liking the place I have the money to get a mortgage once I feel comfortable doing so. Food, rent, utilities aren't that much more there than they would be here. >Will probably have to pay for university for a bit but new employer does offer education support funding >Lots of stuff to do >Know a few people there but not that many >Lots of fun stuff, been driving up and down to go to a games club there already, there is other things I'm interested there, there are things to do other than drink at night and there's lots of cute people around. I'm trying to figure out what to do, go and take the chance and maybe fuarrrk up the good thing I've got going now for no reason or just stay here and continue to deal with a 2 hour drive to actually do anything with anyone I like.

>>76156 Second option is better, silly. You knew that.

>>76156 what do you actually want to do, in the end ? sounds like the main advantage of current situation is that you'll probably save more money and be near family, though even in option two you're not far from family. Saving money is good, but should have some end in sight, passing to your children, buying a house, idk.

>>76156 I would say that the first option is a better long term option; especially since you don't know what your new team will be like

I think my superior at work has incredibly low self esteem. He doesn't seem to be able to feel good about himself unless he is putting someone else down. This is an issue because I'm actually better at his job than he is, and this just pisses him off. He actually prefers for nothing to get done because then he doesn't have to acknowledge my abilities. It's gotten to the point where every single conversation I start with him is just for the sake of his own ego. I will actually go out of my way to ask him about things he should know about so he can feel smart, but this just backfires because he is too stupid to answer questions about things that he should know the answer to. Like I know he owns his own business, so I asked him how much revenue he makes and when he started paying taxes and where he got his money from. I thought he would know the answers to these questions and he would answer them and get to feel smart, but it turns out he's a complete dumbass who not only knows any answers to those questions, apparently he has never considered the finances of the fuarrrking business which he fuarrrking owns. How do I deal with this guy? He is a complete idiot, but so insecure that I constantly have to coddle him all the time. I am motivated to put in effort towards being nice to him, despite the fact that he's a stupid asshole.

>>76158 Is it? Paying rent vs not paying rent and free education vs paid seem like pretty big compromises to me >>76159 The main reason I've been saving money is to afford a house someday, but I've been looking around this area for a while and can't find myself to actually buy one as I'm not sure about staying here. I have more than a year's gross pay in savings which is pretty good but IMO not good enough to let sit and not put anything more into, I would like at least 36 month's pay set as a nest egg but would be happy enough to sit at 24 ish before buying someplace. The other reason was purely because as a result of my super low liabilities at the minute I have huge disposable income but I feel gross wasting money on most things and I thought saving would be a good habit to get into, I do spend money occasionally, but only on stuff I really want that's going to be worthwhile. >>76160 On the facts yes it is, but living with family is suffocating me, I need out. Moving gives me that and the opportunity to find people more like me, but its a big risk. Not because the city would be much more expensive, but because going and having it not work out would set me back quite badly. I had a think overnight and realised there isn't actually anything stopping me from moving and still doing my old job, I'm only in the office 2 days a week anyway so I could just commute those two days and keep my good job while trying out city living. So I might just do that.

>>76166 >I have huge disposable income but I feel gross wasting money on most things and I thought saving would be a good habit to get into I'm going to take this opportunity to say to not just sit on your money - it's being devalued as we speak. Get that soykaf into an index or money market so it grows proportional to inflation

>>76174 Yeah most of it is in investments with some of it in a government mortgage deposit scheme thing and a couple grand in cash

>>76120 >searching in the art or STEM fields The art field is waaayyy too liberal and nowhere near nerdy enough to have girls like that in there. The entire college issue is also shrouded by the fact that the women OP is going after are likely to be inaccessible shut ins as well. The likelihood of her spending her time alone in college locked in her dorm unless necessary is the same as yours. Highschool is more or less the last frontier for this sort of thing because these girls are forced to go; pretty much everything after compulsory education is a crapshoot at best, because no matter where you go you're looking at people that are more okay with crowds and socialization than others, hence they might not be exactly what you're looking for. By and large these generalizations are correct, even for geek-centric activities like anime conventions and whatnot.

>>76359 Crazed crack smoking idea: what about just finding other men you respect, and asking if they have any nice female relatives who you might ask on a date? I kinda know how to make nerdy guy friends, and behavior tends to run in families, and even if nerdyness were sex linked, they're probably like their dads, who clearly had a successful relationship with their mom, who their sister/daughter is probably like.

>>76375 good idea, but a tad akward since you're pretty much asking if you can snusnu their sister. And in my case my sisters aren't like me at all, so if someone thinks they can get a female version of me they are pretty fuarrrking wrong. I would assume it's like that for a lot of people.

>>76375 If you make enough and good enough platonic friends, you meet their female friends and family naturally and can judge their character yourself They answered him with the single word, if

>>76385 i found a similar image in berlin with a code. where did you find that?

>>76388 California, lol. Spy vs Spy is clearly very well known

what are my perspectives as a ukrainian refugee in Finland? is it worth the effort? say if i'm able to stick i'll remain there forever. is there anybody capable of giving me advice? not gonna elaborate more if nobody has info anyway

>>76387 the issue is that if we, looking for a very specific type, tend to fraternize with those of similar dispositions, the women that we may all be going after will not be available or will be too rare to find anyways. And if these guys know these women, then it is likely that they're already social as it stands. It's important to realize how rare the type of woman we are discussing here is. Deep internet losers such as ourselves are rare nowadays, but even so men are a dime-a-dozen here compared to the few women that will inhabit the same sphere. On top of that, an issue specific to the denizens of this website is that we do not communicate online by any normal means; no social media, no Discord, and many of us do not carry smartphones or carry ones that are gimped in such a way that they're essetially useless for more normal activities. This specific insider trade essentially has shot itself in the foot when it comes to communicating outside of itself. There's also the scary idea that the few available women inhabiting this sphere aren't attractive or have something wrong with them. I know everyone likes to say they don't care about looks, but when you need to stare at that thing a lot then it starts to matter a lot more. I think the idea from >>76375 is the likeliest to work, given how isolated these people are online. My wild fantasy is that someone will see how retarded I am IRL and introduce me to their equally retarded yet attractive (to me) relative. It isn't the best method, but I won't be desperate for another few years.

>>76724 Yes, because this specific imageboard is at the very front of the internet, visible to everyone and their grandmothers. This wesite isn't underground relative to others like it, but to normal users it might as well be fuarrrking Atlantis. And that one sentence fragment is what you decide to focus on? fuarrrking autist.

>>76774 mystery reply

try treating women like theyre people lmfao

try treating women like they are >objects >wild animals >endangered species >invasive species >pets >fictional characters >children >cancer patients but dont be weird about it, incel!

>>76861 I don't know how the OP isn't treating women like they are people. He's has specific criteria and abilities that restrict him with interacting, but it's never said that he isn't treating them like they are people. Are you one of those people that pretends to not judge others or notice things about them simply because you aren't forward about it? Those are the annoying types that either pretend or are convinced that they are the only people in the world who don't notice peculiars about people and do not judge. And it isn't like having low standards makes you a saint, it more so shows that you're desperate. >>76868 bot post lol

>>76879 No, he isn't. He is treating them as if they were a consumer object that isn't up to his standards. I have very high standards myself but they're based on the character of a person which can only be seen after you've met and interacted a few times at least. I'd say its just to counter to your example and having expectations that aren't realistic. He's judging people he doesn't even know. The secret, no bullshit, is to treat women like friends and not expect things out of them. So many young men talk to women with the express goal of fuarrrking them. They know it. They know when you see them like an object. So just chill out, be kind and friendly, and you'll naturally be confident because you won't have ulterior motives. It's not hard, but it requires treating women like they are people. Many simply refuse this obvious answer though, and choose to wallow in misery as if their identity is threatened by the idea that women are not actually any different to themselves.

>>76880 >The secret, no bullshit, is to treat women like friends and not expect things out of them. Well, no soykaf sherlock. The thread isn't how to get along with women (because most everyone knows that you need to treat people like people to be friends with them), it's about how to find the women that will most likely be OP's type, which is the difficult part. What happens after that doesn't really need to be discussed because, as I said, the answer is well known. But I get what you're talking about; there are scores of underagedb& that think they're some sigma-something that needs to be a borderline-autistic asshole to get ahead (as if people can't tell that the underagedb& in question is being a jerk to them). I mean, they CAN do that but they'll only get the people who are okay with being treated like that. >He's judging people he doesn't even know It is perfectly fair to judge people you don't know. If they look a certain way, they made a choice to look that way. If they act a certain way, they will act that way regardless of the underlying reasons that might make you more sympathetic. A piss-soaked hobo talking to himself is pathetic and knowing his background might make you more sympathetic to his cause, but at the end of they day he's still a piss-soaked hobo talking to himself. There's a certain level of hard deciscion making/judgements that you have to perform to make consistently good deciscions about people you want to be involved with. You don't need to be an ass about it by doing it too strongly, but it needs to be done at a certain level. Life experience will tell you that if not me or someone else.

>>76881 >It is perfectly fair to judge people you don't know. If they look a certain way, they made a choice to look that way. If they act a certain way, they will act that way regardless of the underlying reasons that might make you more sympathetic. A piss-soaked hobo talking to himself is pathetic and knowing his background might make you more sympathetic to his cause, but at the end of they day he's still a piss-soaked hobo talking to himself. There's a certain level of hard deciscion making/judgements that you have to perform to make consistently good deciscions about people you want to be involved with. You don't need to be an ass about it by doing it too strongly, but it needs to be done at a certain level. Life experience will tell you that if not me or someone else. Okay.... you're just being obtuse and intentionally missing the point. OP is insecure, and his "type" should probably be re-evaluated. He's letting social media tell him what "type" of women are best. It's a maturity thing. Treating himself and others with respect will literally solve this entire problem. There is no shortage of perfect people out there for anyone. They are not hard to find. People, especially men, just get in their own way. I mean the bar for men is literally so low you can basically choose any woman you want if you just aren't weird to people. Whatever. Good luck OP.

>>76882 >He's letting social media tell him what "type" of women are best. OP here. I don't have social media, so I don't know what youre going on about. If it's a social media trend you're aware of for some reason, then that's on you for being on those websites. My "type" is someone I could imagine getting along with (crazy!) and would like to seek out for those reasons. There definitely may be others that are good for me and other people on here and my post doesnt intend to preclude those possibilities; the problem that is made explicitly clear is that this specific type of woman is hard to find in the "wild" for the reasons presented. Stop reading into posts to make them say what you want them to. You people have a terrible habit of reading slightly critical things and shoehorning in their own insecurities about following trends or whatever because they think they're so fuarrrking smart.

>>76900 >you dont have to be on social media to be influenced by it The social media boogeyman raches far and wide... Your grasp of the English language seems to be pretty damn poor. So if you don't have any actual solutions to contribute other than feel good general statements and about how OP is a user, then don't bother replying.

>>76883 >the problem that is made explicitly clear is that this specific type of woman is hard to find in the "wild" for the reasons presented. it literally isn't. you are getting in your own way. if youre not willing to listen to reason thats on you. you dont have to be on social media to be influenced by it. clearly your definition of who you get along with is the problem. you dont have to listen to the answer, but it has been given to you. as stated previously, its a maturity thing. stop making excuses, love yourself, love others. peace.

>>76902 it seems your grasp on imageboard software is equally poor

I'm trying to be better and doing the things I want to do. Trying to have accessible short term goals leading to a far away ideal. Trying to have meaningful relationships with the people around me, it's hard, like anything that's worth something in this world. As for what OP seek, before longing for an intimate relationship, it would be even more urgent to have quality relationship with others to begin with. Trust me you don't realise that most lonely and inexperiended people who end up together often become too dependent of each other. And then, if you break up, you'll try to fill the void as soon as possible: don't. You will find that frequenting people and stopping being a virgin will open up your options to have an initimate relafionship that you fancy. But you have to understand what's out there and be willing to get hurt. And hurt. Never forget that you're dealing with people and whatever their history is, what you do can hurt, never deny the possibiity and beware when you begin to jusficate things to yourself. Things happens and most of the time we merely fools ourselves. If you have the potential to be a decent human being, you can do a lot things. It's better to try what you can than trying to know what to do while not doing it. Time flies, tic tac tic tac

>>76967 OP here. I don't mind getting to the point of becoming a second hand person that goes from person to person in a healthy manner, but I don't want to jump into doing something like that. And the issue of being with a lonely person isn't an issue for me either since I wouldn't mind having to work through that with someone; I'm not trying to minmax my happiness. I want to progress naturally, even if it might be too late for something like that to occur regularly. This all might be too tangential to be related to the OP, though, so make of it what you will

1/4 of Japanese women are virgin. Just go to Japan and find a cute azn gorl https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WY98JzVh6ZY >>76967 >Trust me you don't realise that most lonely and inexperiended people who end up together often become too dependent of each other. That is actually a good thing. A very good thing.

>>77055 >That is actually a good thing. A very good thing. It's be nice to have someone depending on you a bit, but codependence might be a thing to avoid

I'm over college age. It feels hopeless. It sounds like cope but I'm not the typical person with this problem. I had my chances. Girls were interested with me and forward since before college. However I was stuck in a bad childhood and I generally didn't trust anyone especially girls. Now I'm over 25 and we're all in this male loneliness epidemic. I don't see how can fix it. I'm going to be honest but I do still struggle with general distrust of women and anyone trying to get close to me. I also am working to get rid of my desire for story book love and meeting my other half who I am also their first intimate experience and all that. At this point I know I'm too old. Probably too old to hope for love. I'm not exactly a good man so I know I'm not entitled to a good woman. I don't know. I'm getting older and this is something I think I want but I'm still pretty uncomfortable with the whole thing. I don't have any examples of a successful relationship that I'd want to copy in real life either. I'm simple and I don't really have goals beyond this either. I want to go on a date once before I die. I want to hold hands, have my first kiss. Go for walks. Play video games. I think that sounds nice.

>>77398 Same, more or less. Except I'm over 30. No bridge back to "the world" from that. To everyone else it's all old news, been there, done that. Seen it all, said it all, heard it all, done it all. For me it would all be firsts, basically down to the infantile level which is where intimacy aversions and engulfment terror stems from. I can't imagine anything more disgusting and uncomfortable. Since this is /sol/ though, quite honestly if you actually desire intimacy you can probably just manifest someone. Which I did several times (not entirely wittingly) then rejected and avoided, like I do everything else. You could do this, if you really wanted. The irony being I know how to move and hold things in your mind in the way required, and you probably don't. I could do it but won't. You purport to want it, but can't. Such is the sad life in this world.

>>77398 >>77410 as someone who teeters on the edge as almost a normal people, i'll throw in my 2 cents. most women that you are actually going to be interested in (and they interested in you) aren't gonna care about your lack of experience and how everything is new to you. from what i have seen in my experience and that of others, they will just attach and are down for the ride. what >>77410 is kinda right in manifesting someone, but its more so just getting your own life in order. it sounds really stupid but you need to be comfortable yourself and will stop caring how it really goes with women in both the positive and the negative encounters. you need to have your own life going where a girl you meet can invest herself in while not doing it purely for that purpose. i think this is why many people suggest the gym as someone who does this visibly has things together but doesn't really need to be that. in the spirit of /sol/ i'd suggest you start getting the small things in your life in order. fix your diet, spend less time on "dead end" hobbies such as video games and take up other alternatives instead. personally i've found i like going to the gym and seeing progress and i think about it as "i'm still wasting my time, at least i'll be stronger if i go gym". meeting women is the biggest challenge i'd say as i would never suggest dating apps, your going to need to start branching out a bit. you could join sign up for random activities but personally i think thats stupid unless you really want to do it. instead i'd suggest try making more friends with co-workers or other people you interact with regularly. you need to remember that your not doing all of this to find love but instead just to better yourself. good luck lain, i know how hopeless it seems especially on the internet but you can make it.

>finding a girlfriend Why? Modern women are useless. >a virgin one Lmao good luck! The only practical way leads you to jail. >college is a good place to look Yeah, for whores who got their mind polluted with identity politics, white guilt and other globalist nonsense. The only decent women get told to attach their arm skin to their crotch or bullied into becoming sluts who have intercourse with hood rats and pet dogs. Your best shot is to lift weights. But not to looks maxx but to hope that this rotten system collapses and we can return to monke.

>>77425 >wammins r useless how else r u gunna m8k baby ? czech mate phagggit

>>75958 In most US states and most other countries, 16 is legal. There are no actual social repercussions for this. Go practice talking to them online using random video chat sites, just like you would with someone your own age. Screw you for wasting the board's time if you can't even have a conversation with girls your own age or if you're too afraid to try. A final note: https://www.imdb.com/list/ls059098823/

Finding a virgin girl- a worthy first subject for /sol/, and a much more feasible ambition than many would expect. A second subject: how to find a couple interesting friends. Have you ever understood someone so well that you have both had variations on the same thoughts? On one hand it is a unique experience, on the other hand it is worrying. Even if the ideas you've independently synthesized aren't exactly something you get pre-packaged from Netflix or twitter or 4chan, it still means that you are not as rare as you thought. If you want to do nearly anything in this world, you need to be unprecedented. What could have led you and your acquaintance to think in a similar way about this one thing? Are you just predisposed towards a similar form of skepticism? Maybe you just have a similar flavor of intelligence. It is probably important to engage with and investigate the phenomenon, but I suspect it is as uniquely valuable in a person as it might feel. If you have experience to the contrary, please advise. So if not that, then what? 1. Someone naturally similar to you on an instinctual level, but greatly divergent. (from insights and experiences dissimilar to yours?) 2. Someone naturally dissimilar from you on an instinctual level, but somehow arriving at similar conclusions. 3. Someone naturally dissimilar from you on an instinctual level, and still very different. (presumably in a charming/fascinating way) I can understand the appeal of the 2nd/3rd quadrants. There is a good reason why the quasi-honorable villain who always holds to his word is such a fun trope in fiction. Or, often incompatibly, the unyielding material-idealist that longs to drag perfection into the world as if it were all his space to paint. Consider the earnest, even anonymous empath who genuinely feels the pain and frustration of this smothering, cruel world press on the unique texture of every person. I can feel the beauty bleed off the concept of these personalities, including those which I don't embody. I feel I could get along quite well with people who have very distinct instincts. What are core qualifiers for friendship? Similar age? It isn't like a dude 5 or 10 years older than I am is going to have an incomprehensibly incompatible life experiences or something, but it doesn't feel right for some reason. I suppose ego could be part of it. If I met someone who was 5 or 10 years younger than I am and had a near-equal partnership with them, there would be part of me that would be guarded or jealous on account of that potential they have to do better than I did. Or, if I know I got lucky with housing market or bitcoin or the covid19 virgin girls I would still feel something like that from the other side of things. Does a similar thing apply for IQ/memory, work ethic and inspiration? Could some of these insecurity issues defuse each other, like if insecurity of X not being that sharp and Y not being that conscientious turned into mutual admiration of each other's aspirational traits. I have heard Bronze Age Pervert advocate for cross-political friends but his idea of a leftist is his pal Delicious Tacos, definitely someone of a similar cultural type. I feel I could only cooperate meaningfully with a leftist if they were a true believer. Adding open-minded and intelligent qualifiers, I'm pretty much limited to the Effective Altruism sphere. On the other hand, I don't think of any right-wing people types as real people I would like to be friends with, leaving only those who are right wing by accident of a unique vision or desire. People are most interesting the less they stick to a dogmatic root of their ideology. Libertarian sexpat weirdo is a more compelling category than Rothbardian Minarchist. People have pointed out that blogging is a way to search for smart people who think about the same topics you do. (So it best targets the first considered quadrant, and quadrant 2, because it filters for thoughts on similar topics) This seems like a good start, but a lot of people point out the search engines are really starting to suck. I imagine a large part of a blog's spread is from commenting elsewhere on relevant material. I suspect that having multi-topic blogs helps a lot, because if you share a single interest with me I can confirm your basic competence on that material before consuming the other categories of more novel stuff. I think another way is just to do stuff that people will resonate with and reach out to people who do such things. If someone hosts a basic but useful website for free on the internet, I feel that. If someone smuggled illegally-labeled-but-identical baby formula up from mexico when the USA had a supply chain issue, that would be another entire type of person but still someone that I can respect- a "man of action" or something.

>>77414 >but its more so just getting your own life in order. I should add here that it's actually both in equal measure. If your life and mind are malformed or malfunctioning in some way, then manifesting someone doesn't work anyway. They will come about, with near certainty, but the foundation isn't there. It's like having the world drop a hammer at your feet, despite having no arms to use it. One doesn't precede the other. I'm aware that our views here are implicit already, but I'd like to make this part clear. There is no hierarchy, ordering, or precedence. These are imposed by your mind. You have the ability to have things coallesce so that what you think you want (and are focused on) exists, but that doesn't mean you're able and willing to accept what you asked for.

>>77438 What the fuarrrk did you write? This reads like ChatGPT. I told OP to go on Omegle, you wrote some incoherent rant. How did you get through college? You dragged materialism and idealism into a question about fuarrrking girls and butchered their definition. Do you see why someone like you doesn't get laid?

>>77441 I am not writing about the question OP proposed. You should read more slowly. Read the OP again. This is a solutions thread, not a solutions thread dedicated to the first problem the OP considered.

>>77410 >Since this is /sol/ though, quite honestly if you actually desire intimacy you can probably just manifest someone. Which I did several times (not entirely wittingly) then rejected and avoided, like I do everything else. You could do this, if you really wanted. The irony being I know how to move and hold things in your mind in the way required, and you probably don't. I could do it but won't. You purport to want it, but can't. Such is the sad life in this world. This hit too close to home. That just happened to me again this weekend. As if things werent fuarrrked enough the universe draw the "spiritual companion" card and yesterday i threw it back with the fu card. This made me realize im quite the monster and dont want nor care for any of that and coldbloodly toss away others when i deem them a liabilaty. I cant handle a life of not being a miserable bum, its the price i pay for the life i chose. Its too many problems to handle and be worth it, dying alone is better.

>>77425 you have to be eighteen to post here, sir

>>77398 I don't know anon. I'd just start going to events where you'd expect to meet someone you'd get along with. Blow the money now instead of waiting for life to happen to you. >>77414 >personally i've found i like going to the gym and seeing progress and i think about it as "i'm still wasting my time, at least i'll be stronger if i go gym". Yeah, I treat the gym the same way. I usually will go two hours a day but it isn't as if going to the gym will magically make you more attractive to others as a person. As I tell people: "I used to be a loser; now I'm a loser that can deadlift 515". >>77425 you post is stupid, gay, and unconstructive, but I can address some facets of it. College can definitely be a bad place to find non-whorish women, but that's if you go to some low-rent pay-to-get-in soykafhole. If you wind up going to a nice elite school where the students spent their mando-school lives studying and being inside, then the women there are typically much better in terms of looks, smarts, and attitude. The Dunning-Kruger effect is also in full swing at less-elite schools, therefore the people attending that are more liberal are a LOT more "radical" than the ones you find at elite schools because they think they're smarter than they really are simply by attending a college. That being said, there are a good few students that fall into the super-gay stereotype, and those ones are a lost cause. But the more dyke-ish ones are usually going though some mental stuff that involves protecting their sexuality and will most likely wear off with time. I befriended a tomboy at my school and went places with her, and over time she stopped calling herself "he". You have to have an eye for these things and suss out who's really gay/depraved and who's just going through something temporary. >>77438 >I can understand the appeal of the 2nd/3rd quadrants You have to have four sections for something to be a "quadrant", anon. >Similar age? It isn't like a dude 5 or 10 years older than I am is going to have an incomprehensibly incompatible life experiences or something, but it doesn't feel right for some reason. Most of my "friends" growing up and some actual friends now are 15 to 25 years older than me. We get along because we have similar mindsets and experiences. I have never became friemds with someone younger than myself and, honestly, it would feel odd (if not creepy) since I've spent most my life solely around those who are older than me. >I would like to be friends with, leaving only those who are right wing by accident of a unique vision or desire. Yeah, I get that. I don't usually get along too well with the "conservative because Bush said so" types in the long run; my long-term friends tend to have more independent mindsets, though whether or not those mindsets produce independent thoughts is less frequent. >People have pointed out that blogging is a way to search for smart people who think about the same topics you do. Yeah, but internet people aren't real. Or they are rarely so. I enjoy talking to people in chatrooms, some of them I've known for over a decade, but I wouldn't put them on the level of real friends.

>>77438 >Effective Altruism EA is adjacent to Yuckowsky is adjacent to Moldbug and all of NRx, and general alt right and far right ideology. Ive seen people at rationalist meetups, there's a lot of right wingers (many more or less closeted) there. Maybe less in EA but these are clearly highly overlapping spaces. You're less far from these people than you think if you're in that space. >agegap freundships this is stupid. there are cool old people, cool young people. don't think about it too much. >second and third quadrants (out of three) ok I'm sorry you're not autistic enough for me to be your friend. >have you ever understood someone so well you both had variations on the same thoughts this is basically what it means to be in communication. And idk why you care so much about being a unique and special as you should care about da troof and if someone else arrives at similar conclusions to you maybe thats just interesting and worth looking at.

>>77497 There aren't really any events for me. I am outside all the time

>>77498 >cool young people I'm still waiting on that one. All the ones I run into are clearly part of some herd, trend, scene. You never really meet ones that think outside the box. That's true for old people as well, but at least I can relate to their sentiments and knowledgebase

>>77507 reverse searched the image to yield no results. thumbs up placement cracks me up. awesome poster/banner lmao :D

>>77507 I have certainly met a lot of uncool youngpeople, as well as uncool people of many ages. Of the mainline z()()mers I've met a lot who seem peculiarly slow in a troubling fashion and I worry a large fraction of them got WEEDed out in the early teens or something and are now lost causes. But some exist sure, I've met a few who seem pretty decent. Populations are large, cool people can be one in ten thousand. I guess the question re friends is how to locate that one and skip as many of the nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine as possible. Don't go to events targeting xildren because they're children or whatever, sure. but if in otherwise good environments you meet someone who's on the younger side don't ignore him because he's bound to be boring for heavens sake.

>>77529 >uuggghhhh they're dumb cause they smoked weed!!! I'm convinced you people are here to drive me insane. Seriously, how can it be the current year and you STILL Fncking STILL STILLLLLL DON'T GET IT. What the fuarrrk. I don't smoke weed, never did, but I grew interacting with daily stoners who'd been that way for like 40 years. You sthink kids are fnckin' DUMB because they smoked weed in high school? Are you kidding me? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm in Hell! !!!! .... *deep breath* *exhale* Sigh.... .... ... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH (lel)

>>77529 As one who got weeded out, all other negatives aside, I assure you it's not something that would itself foment a herd mentality. There is a weed herd but I lump that in with generic hedonism. For people to exist outside of the herd I'd say the first step is introducing them to obscene population densities, where they can see the movement of the individual herds, but also requires ostracization from their's, enough emotional intelligence to not turn into a sappy "why me" self centered suicidal idiot, and the critical thinking necessary to piece a very simple social puzzle together(I.E. not autistic). If I was a military I might even subtly endorse politics to goad these individuals into existence and leverage them as radical shepherds during critical political intersections or expected turmoil in a Machiavellian resurgence/maintenance of power. It might even look exactly like hatechan being talked about on the UN floor, and the new herd that created.

>>77531 >You sthink kids are fnckin' DUMB because they smoked weed in high school? the origin of this belief in me is having watched some reasonably sharp and bright kids start doing (a lot of) weed and then become vapid, slow and daft, with no obvious alternate explanation presenting itself. These were my peers in school, I saw them a lot before, during, and after. They were still recognizably the same people, just worse. How many research papers would it take to prove to you that circular saws pressed through the wrist do not, in fact, lead to handlessness ? >>77532 >I assure you it's not something that would itself foment a herd mentality yeah yeah I know he was complaining about herding, and I'm not sure weedeating is tied to that. I do think it leads to certain long lasting and likely permanent mental effects though.

>>77535 >the origin of this belief in me is having watched some reasonably sharp and bright kids start doing (a lot of) weed and then become vapid, slow and daft, with no obvious alternate explanation presenting itself Listen, it certainly doesn't help matters, but most likely these types already had an ongoing degenerative process which was amplified. Again, I've interacted extensively with people who are 40+ year (that's 40 years straight) nearly daily stoners, starting at like 14 or whatever in that general developmental window. They never acquired the unique cluster of cognitive and behavioral defects our generation did, despite smoking weed, doing pills, acid, mushrooms, heroin. And yet they're all funcitonal adults who blend in, the "uuhhhhh dude.... right yeah! Uhhh..." slowness and vibe is simply not there. So yeah, I don't buy it. Not one bit, not one bit. There's more going on.

>>77536 its been widely suggested to me that modern marijuana is non insignificantly different and radically more potent than the old stuff, but sure ok this is interesting. Still, users of my acquaintance did acquire certain traits which non users did not acquire. Perhaps its some combination of things, but I'm very skeptical of the claim that chemical four hundred twenty is not at all a factor. also please, in my original post >>77529 I used non certain terms 'WEEDed out [...] or something and are now lost cases' to reflect that I'm not sure of the cause of this pattern. Ive seen these traits I'm complaining about in people who, for all I know, have never done weed at all. I don't know them, I just see the traits. Maybe its people who went to school in Coronatimes and learned to speak on soykafty videocalls or something, and picked up practices I find odious and uncanny because of it, I could spitball silly suggestions all day. I will not rule out weed, but yes there's always more going on. srry 4 tangent

>>77529 >z()()mers you coudl've just said "generation z" or "zillenials", anon. What's you attachment with that word in particular?

>>77531 sperg about it on your lj. That post was embarrasing >>77532 >If I was a military do you expect anyone to take you seriously if you're going to talk like that?

>>77537 was about to post same idea - they changed the plant. The medical value got also bred out of the drug variant identical like general crops lost vitamin content as they hybridized for maximum growth speed and pest resistance. An interesting idea i saw in context of regular smoking is some societies don't have the expected lung cancer rates and live long as chain smokers. Their explanation was diet. Synergies explain why results are not uniform. A bit like exercise is good when fat but insane while starving. The problem is conditions aren't that obvious with most synergies so its easy to do things wrong.

>>77538 >whats ur attachment 2 dat word I forgot about the filter so I got flagged for being bad, and fixed with the fewest character changes (-2,+4). Your suggestions are all much more involved edits.

>>77535 >>77536 >>77537 >>77540 don't turn this thread into yet another dude w33d lmao debate thread. Go to /drg/ for that

>>77539 >sperg about it on your lj. That post was embarrasing The fact that you would be embarassed is embarrasing. For you, mind you. I don't feel embarassed on your behalf. In fact I don't feel embarassed at all. My post was great. I am great. The best. Certainly better than you, just look at your response just to communicate disapproval and non-engagement. It's pitiful! Amusingly sad and infantile but with well conditioned posturing that your hypersocialized animal brain in base consciousness mistakes for substance. You conflate superficial composure for substance. Meaning you probably mindlessly follow authority figures. Or not, who cares, you're not useful of your own accord regardless.

>>77545 please man just unclamp this is not your thread don't make it about you >>77539 is also stupid you two should just get a room

>>77539 >do you expect anyone to take you seriously if you're going to talk like that? "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." If you can't entertain an idea, you're not worth discussion. Let me rephrase it for you "Would a military attempt to create genius, and how?" The answer is yes, and how? We can play with this idea, it doesn't require either of us to take it seriously. That's how thinking works. You'll get good at it the more you try! One of the more famous thought experiments proposed by Feynman IIRC is to consider everything as if you were a martian. Does that sound ridiculous to you? It would sound even more ridiculous if you were a martian.

>>77497 >>77498 The 3 options listed as quadrants are given as alternatives to the type of person described in the preceding paragraph, diverging/controlling on two variables. Admittedly I could have phrased it better. >>77498 >>have you ever understood someone so well you both had variations on the same thoughts >this is basically what it means to be in communication. I will elaborate on the experience. "Variation" is a bit of a strong word, the surprise was just how similar our thoughts were on topics that previously I didn't think anyone spent any time thinking about. He had the exact same take that I had, that I had never expressed over any medium nor seen anyone online promote. >And idk why you care so much about being a unique and special as you should care about da troof and if someone else arrives at similar conclusions to you maybe thats just interesting and worth looking at. It definitely is worth looking into and it would be good to keep in contact, but the closer someone is to being me the less they can do that I can't just do myself. This inhibits the pursuit of truth. If I'm a irrationally manic/depressed/gullible after some idea misleads me, a semi-clone friend is not going to be able to assist if they happen to have the same flaw. It is scary not just that they reached the same conclusions, but that they reached so many of the same conclusions that nobody else even approached. That said there is definitely some appeal to having a friend who is very similar to you. I would take it as a challenge to diverge from them and recognize the dynamics behind our similarity and distinctions. I think I have overemphasized the sort of ideological/intellectual part of friendship in my discussion, but that seems to be the greatest blocker to contemporary friendships.

Literally just save up $2,000 and go to Thailand or The Philippines for 20-90 days, use Tinder, get women. That simple.

If you're having love problems my solution is to give up on romance and sex and focus on something else like academics or work. Trying to find love is like playing lottery. Every now and then you win something but you lose so much more

>>78836 This and if you are at all technically inclined or otherwise have any interests that demand focus then by having a girlfriend you'll be essentially giving up on those things. I see now why there is a direct correlation between loneliness and technical skill in programming and mathematics.

>>78836 >have a problem? forget about it and do something else lol I guess that works.

>>78836 this probably should go in /vent/ as it's more whining and not a long-term solution

Prostitution should be legal and socialized.

>>78899 in alarmingly many places, it is. Or effectively is, which amounts to the same thing.

Lain, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

>>78900 Name me literally ONE place where prostitution is socialized.

>>78933 oof my bad I assumed you meant not in the Joseph Stalin way but like socially normalized like they have it in belgium and stuff

>Be me >American >Ask out over 120 girls >None of them even give me a phone number >Visit Vietnam >The first girl I ask out accepts Be a passport bro, guys, it is so worth it >>78939 Mistakes happen, fren

>Be me >American >Ask out over 120 girls with a much social skills as a mop >None of them even give me a phone number, obviously, because I don't even try to know them a bit before asking >Visit Vietnam >The first girl I ask out sees I'm a white american and accepts because she thinks I got money (I don't, she will leave me as soon as we get married in the US) Be a passport bro, guys, it is so worth it

>>75958 Romantic Love isn't something one should really be looking for I think. From my personal experience, good things only ever happen when you stop expecting and looking for them actively. Making certain strategic decisions to raise your odds isn't bad but you should also know that the game is rigged, and chances are that your odds aren't best regardless of your route. Just stay home ans play dating sims. Oh, and love Lain.

>>78975 Nah, I only went there for sexo. It seems evil but I just needed to know what it feels like to touch booba and have a girl sit on my lap.

I tried asking out a one-of-a-kind girl I've had my eye on for several months now, but I was turned down over a text message. I am a senior in college and this was my last attempt at starting something pure before I go out into the real world and have to sift through old second hand people. fuarrrk.

>>79138 I do noteably recall many old stories about men who, rejected at first, proceeded to a persistent and not immediately fruitful, very one sided courtship which ultimately resulted in happy marriage. I am not sure this works today, but I'm not sure a rejection should be taken as necessarily entirely serious and permanent. That said Im a complete failure so IDK.

>>79139 Thanks for the words. I got over my funk and asked if she wanted to do anything else for fun. It'd be stupid of me to close connections over something trivial like this, especially if she wants to keep being my friend.

>>79140 And remember, you can go to VIETNAAAAM if you want to get sexooo

I think we should all for a while just forget the thought of girls and instead focus to better ourselves, as explained here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYUy-HPzAL8 Let's be objective for a sec and say some harsh words: don't we really look like a bunch of desperate "soyboys" trying to find affection and love? Girls don't want these kinds of needy guys who are careless about themselves. As for finding virgin women, there's still hope: a random town or the countryside is a perfect place; there isn't much degeneracy, and you might find an attractive girl from high school or something without facing too much competition. >College girls are a good choice They're definitely not, most of them are Snapchat addicts who go to nightclubs every now and then (top degeneracy and many "chads" are there) >I'll just go to Vietnam lol lmao exploiting Asian women for a US passport is not the solution to find love >I'll date a fat/schizo girl I promise that will never be a long-term relationship even when you both want to work things out. It may "get you laid" but it'll drain you mentally and crush your soul. >I'm 31 y old and it's all over It's never too late lain, if you worked on yourself well enough you could definitely get 20 y old girl when everyone's already a normal person.

>>79654 >a random town or the countryside is a perfect place; there isn't much degeneracy What? Most small towns in the americas (from Canada to Chile) are dead-end meth-inundated soykafholes that anyone attractive or skilled enough leaves as soon as they can.

>>79654 >most of them are Snapchat addicts who go to nightclubs every now and then keyword "most". In college the girls are still just that: girls. When they graduate and go to the world outside academia, even the ones that held out lose their inhibitions and gore themselves to find a place to stay or to have some basic emotional comfort rather than anything long term. As to why that's the case I'll let you think about it

>>79854 But that's exactly the issue: most girls are sadly expected by society to perform the same way as men and to become laborers. The place I wish to go is somewhere like Wyoming, a real heaven on earth where you kiss industrial society goodbye. Yeah I know most children go to public schools and have smartphones etc but it's much less worse than the soykaf California since in Wyoming most people are self-employed and never attend college. Perfect place to find some young virgin trad wife.

>>79862 >most girls are sadly expected by society to perform the same way as men and to become laborers. I don't think that's actually the case. Yes they're expected to work and help support their family monetarily but generally it's assumed that the man is going to be making most of the money. >The place I wish to go is somewhere like Wyoming, a real heaven on earth where you kiss industrial society goodbye. >Perfect place to find some young virgin trad wife. My friend is literally a cowboy in Wyoming. He told me that the gender ratios are all fuarrrked up because so many men get paid to work as farmhands or on oil wells/pipelines. The only woman he's been with in years was a sioux woman he met on tinder and drove 4 hours to get to. He's not an unattractive guy either. Basically, you have a very idealized view of Wyoming and probably other places like Alaska. They're not 'safe' from industrialization, they are some of the most exploited landscapes on the planet, and you're not gonna meet your tradwife honey. 'tradwife' is basically a sexual fetish for elites anyway.

>>79866 >but generally it's assumed that the man is going to be making most of the money. Why do they have to work in the first place when it's the man's responsibility to provide for the family? >He told me that the gender ratios are all fuarrrked up This is in fact a good thing the modern media have twisted it up. They want women to perform the exact same way as men, and they cry >b-but inequality!! >he met on tinder I don't get why the fuarrrk people use these platforms instead of actually meeting people until the opportunity comes when you least expect it. In my video I said that this platform. In my video I said that most girls are there to feed their fuarrrking egos while guys are so desperate for them but afraid of rejection. >you have a very idealized view of Wyoming At least not as much as most places. >and you're not gonna meet your tradwife honey. Not convinced that this is the best (or the least worse) place to find a girl.

>>79871 New lainon here, you appear to have misunderstood the relevance of "gender ratios". If a state's younger adults are 60% men and 40% women then even in the "monogamous, settling down, had my fun" cultural regime there are going to be 1/3 of men who don't have a partner. You are playing musical chairs, there aren't enough holes for all the pigeons to fit in. You aren't playing "be her best option out of wyoming men" you are playing "be her best option out of the best two thirds of wyoming men". That can significantly raise the bar for finding a woman. I don't know what the population pyramid for wyoming looks like in the 18-28 range but I wouldn't be super surprised if it was between 55 and 60 percent male because overall it is 51% male, and old women surviving more than men tends to bias that number towards women in the first place. In practice it is probably even worse even at much closer ratios because: -older men are more successful with young women than old women with young men -chadGODs can monopolize multiple women

>>79866 >'tradwife' is basically a sexual fetish for elites anyway and your point is?

>>79871 >I don't get why the fuarrrk people use these platforms instead of actually meeting people until the opportunity comes when you least expect it If you were out of highschool you'd know that finding people is either very hard or costly. >>76359 mentioned this: >pretty much everything after compulsory education is a crapshoot at best, because no matter where you go you're looking at people that are more okay with crowds and socialization than others, hence they might not be exactly what you're looking for

>>79140 me again. It didn't workout and we pretty much stopped communicating. I don't like communicating first because I get hints that I send too many messages, so I think I'll let it die.

>>80260 while you make good points I have yet to see a successful relationship that was started by meeting on dating apps. Twitter ? Yes. IRC ? sure--even with a real woman involved, if you'd believe it. Tinder ? never, not yet anyway.

>>80745 dating apps have been known to intentionally setup people for failure to retain customers. Planned obsolescence. And more modern is the issue of chatgp bots simulating interaction because the app has 30 guys on 1 woman so its impossible to match 90%. Some people do succeed but i too would think its a waste of effort.

>>80746 >>79871 >I don't get why the fuarrrk people use these platforms instead of actually meeting people until the opportunity comes when you least expect it. In my video I said that this platform There's also this

>>80766 I forgot to post a link to the on-line article like a jackass: https://archive.ph/Wg54m

>>80766 so instead they go on "apps" to arrange dates at fancy restaurants and laser tag places or something ? this may be true but its also true for app dating

>>80745 I met my wife on hinge. Never paid for it. We got ridiculously lucky though, and I've got pretty good looks, so I don't recommend it. I've also dated people I met on activitypub before. Honestly, the main reason I used apps was because I was really lonely but also autistic af, and the entire initial stage of dating before the first date is extremely opaque to me. In person, I've only asked people out who I knew pretty well, and even then only over text and after agonizing over it. On an app you already know that the person you're talking to is at least open to the possibility of dating. >>80794 Generally people just go to a coffee place or a bar for the first date. Almost never is there any real chemistry, it's almost always just people desperate for a connection. Trust me, I have gone on some truly cringey first and second dates from apps.

>>80812 I can't tell if I have good looks or not. I get a couple of complements but I think I look odd in the mirror

>>80836 A lot of people look weird. I looked at a lot of pictures of regular people in contexts where they aren't in a context that filters and stuff get applied. Just how many are fat, have weird face/skull shape, or really weird teeth.They don't look nice. Some of this may be my own pickiness or an artifact of the medium because I don't remember it being this bad when I was interacting with real people directly. People call me handsome and I don't see it. Maybe moderately good looks just require a well-composed face.

>>80836 >>80844 If you get compliments from strangers, you're probably quite attractive. I find my face odd looking in the mirror too. I think it's just because I never looked in the mirror much so I don't have a clear picture of what my face looks like in my head.

>>80844 This is how social media induces body dysmorphia. If "normal" is looking like a doll, then being a person with warts and all is suddenly seen a bad thing which feeds back into the cycle. Of course people are weird, "normal" doesn't exist. Embrace what make you you, because only you look like you, you know? For this thread in general. Drop the looksmaxxing soykaf or whatever you call it, stop reducing other people into objects, stop buying into incel/chud propoganda, and live life ffs. You don't want to end up like the early-internet wizards who went their whole life being stuck-up closed-minded miserable drinks of soykaf do you? Women aren't abstract magical creatures, they're people like you and me! Just go do hobbies and things that excite you in life. Live life, and have a little more optimism, curiosity, and fun. You'll be glad you did. >>76121 /hum/ really went downhill after the 4chan and 8kun culture cross-pollinated into here. Probably mostly just a consequence of internet brainrot, looking at how miserable and closed-minded people get when they spend all their time online.

>>80870 >muh social media induced dysmorphia idealized representations of humans have always been a thing, as long as there have been humans. Look at the cartoonishly proportioned so-called-venus statues, the art of greece and rome, etc etc etc. This element is nothing new, but perhaps the modern twist comes from the ubiquity of high quality mirrors, small cameras constantly in everyones faces, and photo editing tools. obviously this is just a development of historic problems, but back in the old days people got turned into flowers for far less than the modern's self interest.

>>80878 The difference is that when you look at a statue of the emperor, everyone knows "oh yeah he paid some guy like 2000 denarii to make him look good". The fact that the statue is not necessarily reality is quite public knowledge, in fact you probably want to show off how expensive of a sculptor you could afford to get such an unrealistic statue. When it comes to statues of gods it's even moreso supposed to be unrealistic, for obvious reasons. Same for portraits, even early photographs. If you were a commoner, the best you were likely to get is a sketch by your artistically inclined friend, and then any embellishment is more of a personal statement of feelings. With ubiquitous digital photographs, and additionally body-enhancing surgeries, and even to an extent some modern trends in makeup, there are two major differences. One, is that a lot of people want to pretend that they have "natural beauty", so they try to hide the fact that the photograph, or their body/face, has been enhanced somehow. The better the enhancement techniques get, the harder it is to tell. The aspect of the unrealism being a statement of wealth has mostly been inverted. This is probably just a reaction to the perceived artificiality of previous aesthetic norms. Second, it's incredibly cheap and easy to do these things now. No longer do you need to hire a master painter to make you look good, you can just buy a little machine that will churn out enhanced photos 24/7. End result is that there is an endless sea of enhanced photos, coming from people that don't explicitly state when the photos are enhanced. They may not even know themselves, since a lot of modern phones do AI correction even for "raw" photos. It is natural that in this kind of environment a lot more people would start to get body image issues.

>>80870 >This is how social media induces body dysmorphia. If "normal" is looking like a doll, then being a person with warts and all is suddenly seen a bad thing which feeds back into the cycle. Yeah dude it's totally social media determining that people with warts are ugly not the history of man or anything. >Of course people are weird, "normal" doesn't exist. This is a straight up delusional coping mechanism for people who aren't okay with not looking perfect. Of course there is a normal; there necessarily exists a normal by definition. You type like an annoying child. Just because you see people online kvetching about how they don't look the best doesn't mean they're coming at it from a retard zom perspective like you are inclined towards; people have been concerned about ther looks for millenia and will continue to be no matter how many trite "just be yourself" messages are sent out into the world. Being yourself is important, but deluding yourself into accepting something you aren't is bad.

>>80882 People ITT are talking about how they get compliments of people calling them attractive , but do not perceive themselves as attractive. This is probably mild dysmorphia. You're seeming to just come in and reply to a single post, ignoring context, and shoving this perfectly reasonable discussion towards a "culture war" battleground.

>>80891 >This is probably mild dysmorphia Or more likely a lack of self confidence. And these people probably look at themselves too much and have noticed things other people wouldn't care about. Get your nose out of the DSM and try to think for yourself. > You're seeming to just come in and reply to a single post I made one of the initial posts. Nice try, but you aren't as savvy as you think you are. >"culture war" battleground ...where? Actually, I don't care.

>>80892 "Dysmorphia" isn't necessarily a medical diagnosis. It simply refers to a mismatch between your perceived body and your actual body. Kind of like how depression isn't always major depression disorder. >I made one of the initial posts. Sure

>>80882 Name calling isn't very adult of you, frankly. You're reacting so aggressively to some pretty mundane and positive messaging. If you've got a problem with it you can just say it instead of getting so upset over it. I'll save my breath. You've got fixed-false beliefs you're not willing to question and very willing to go into a tizzy defending. You're welcome to think about this if you care to think at all. In the meantime, I got better things to do. This is my second and last post. Learn to love yourself, bye~~ <3

>>80912 >Name calling isn't very adult of you, frankly. Just because I'm pointing out the flaws in your juvenile, soykafty argument in a manner you don't find fitting doesn't mean the flaws don't exist. Go be a glitterboy somewhere else.

>Be at work >Go to bathroom >See my ugly mug in the mirror >Lay down on the floor and cry for 30 minutes I've reached my breaking point, if you're a virgin past age 20 it's fuarrrking over and you should probably neck yourself, that's a solution, incels of lainchan don't listen to people who cope about how personnality and confidence matter that isn't true, it doesn't matter if you're ugly, you're ugly and you'll be rejected by society and never be loved, destined to watch others experience warmth, you will also be made fun of for the fact that you were born wrong for the rest of your life. Stop struggling, things will only get more painful from here, kill yourself, spare yourself the suffering.

>>81382 Giving up isn’t really a solution at all. You’re miserable exactly because you give a fuarrrk how you look and what you think society expects of you. You can take the advice to live a meaningful life from the wisdom of sages, or you can live and die for a vain and vapid existence. That’s your choice. Try to pick the former. Incels are destined for a miserable life exactly because the incel worldview is vapid, hollow, eugenicist, and miserable. You and everyone else are made into objects whose value is based on their appearance. Being obsessed with appearance is superficial and miserable, comparison is the thief of joy. So live an examined life ffs, stop wasting your time with this dumb fuarrrk soykaf.

>>81382 i still have to make my "fur elise" for my ex bf so i cant rope for now.

>>81383 I don't care, being laughed at by strangers because of how I look happens to me almost every day, it's heartbreaking but that's not why I quit, I quit because I'll never be loved, I have to watch attractive people experience what I want most in the world and I'll never ever be loved by someone the way they're loved, people don't even speak to me like I'm a human being but I can't blame them, we're animals, we see someone that looks sick and ugly and we want to be far away from them, or we want them to die. It's my opinion, and it's my decision to kill myself and I encourage those in a similar place as me to do the same, suicide is such a taboo you probably don't realise that I am not doing this out of self hate but out of self compassion. Then again I might be wrong, all I know for sure is that I'd rather be gone than spend anymore time in this living nightmare.

>>81386 You’re not doing it out of self compassion but self hate snd self pity. You hate yourself enough to curse your own existence. There’s no compassion in that. If you’re dead set I can’t stop you, but you’re robbing the world of a life that had inherent value and dignity over something as pitiful as appearance. > ill never be X > I watch “attractive” peopld have what I want Comparison is the thief of joy. You don’t need X to be happy, and a lack of it isn’t worth dying over.

>>81388 You don't need love to be happy and a lack of love isn't worth dying over? This might be the most far fetched cope I ever heard.

>I encourage people to kill themselves Maybe that's a manifestation of a deeper problem that makes you disagreeable to others, and no not through your looks. Don't really care if somebody offs himself, but if you're tying the rope around your neck on a wave of emotions, well, at least don't encourage other people to do so. Do you want others to die so you may be consoled? Too bad. tl;dr don't kill yourself because of emotions. Only do that if it's realistically the only reasonable way out. For example Japanese people who kill themselves because working 15 hours a day for 10 years straight with zero leaves isn't fun and they've got no other options to survive. You get the idea.

>>81391 I'm trying to spare people from suffering and loneliness, I feel like a life alone and undesirable is not a life worth living. It all boils down to the taboo around suicide, I can confidently say that I would have much rather killed myself years ago than today, I feel like ugly men are much better off killing themselves rather than wasting time to fit in today's lookist world, you can argue that I don't have to fit in and can just go live in the woods or something but that just sound like cope to me. I need people, I need to be loved, appreciated, desired. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without breaking into tears, and it feels like I've been having a nervous breakdown for the past 8 years. But sure life is great and I'm just feeling a little bit angry right now and I don't really mean it right? Well actually I've been having suicidal thoughts for as long as I remember and I don't feel grateful towards the people that managed to stop my attempts, because they don't get it, they don't get me, and they never will. I think you should feel grateful that you weren't born a freak and leave it at that, everyone else rejects us, every day is pain. We're not allowed to feel happy in this world, then those who are happy tells us that we can't leave because it gets better? Am I the only one that think this sounds kind of fuarrrked up?

>>81393 we need a lain mansion where we can all cuddle and do math and lsd together

>>81394 >cuddle >math >lsd no offense but i'll be wearing a huge grin as i send a guided bomb in your mansion

>>81393 don't care; didn't read. kill yourself and be done with. just don't encourage others to do the same. if you do, well, you deserve whatever you suffer. when things get truly suicidal people will know it without your advice. stop hoping to take a few people with you so you're not as lonely on your way to hell.

>>81395 we will have anti missile defenses

>>81396 You're right, I completely agree with your post, you really hit the nail on the head with that last statement, deep down I don't want to be alone in my last moments, but it is what it is I guess. I'll stop being a bitch now and just get on with it then, cya lainons thanks for the laughs, the tech tips and the free conselling.

>>81399 dude dont do it pls, i will give you company(i dont want to be alone too)

>>81398 smart. even better this way. everyone stays alive and I also get to see some nice explosions.

>>81401 cmon and joins us cutie, you will be satisfied <3 btw cute book on explosions if you are into the math behind them https://www.google.pt/books/edition/Detonation/QaejAQAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=dover+explosion&printsec=frontcover

>>81402 >cmon and joins us cutie, you will be satisfied <3 i just made peace with not wanting to kill you, why'd you mess that up?

>>81403 i like to have spicy bonds with my frens

>>81404 i hope you'll like being dead as well

>>81405 honestly i dont mind but if you want my life , you will have to take it <3

>>81393 > lookist society > ugly people shouldnt live > I’m a freak >>> looks normal Hahahahahahahahahhhsshahmahahahahahhaha >>81399 “But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself” - Albert Camus Reconsider your options. Start with a walk to get yourself out of the funk, jump in a lake with clothes on if you can swim, let the rain drench you, you’ll begin to see the bigger picture if you try.

>more courage to live than to kill yourself What kind of bullshit is this? Whoever felt really suicidal knows it's not about courage, but about how bad it is. If it is bad enough that you neglect dread of death, you kill yourself. If it's not bad enough you don't. There's no courage. You just either still can care or you don't care at all anymore.

>>81414 we humans create a whole reality with our thoughts. It's scary.

>>81382 you need to get better at averting your eyes from reflections. Especially at your work and home you should know where all the mirrors/good reflective surfaces are, and easily avoid such accidents. I dont know the last time I saw a good image of my face, its been a while, despite walking past mirrors dozens of times each day.

First off, I disavow those spouting an inc*l mindset or people who're calling other people inc*ls. >finding a virgin girlfriend Good luck with that unless you want to skirt the legal age of c*nsent laws and morality. And while I get that a low to non existent body count is important since it improves bonding and chances of staying together long term, who says that it is you who will not bomb it and leave yet another ruined person in this world? It looks like it's a dilemma between being inexperienced and burdened with preexisting relationship trauma. Not an easy problem to solve. But the real crux is and one that I'm venting over myself is that it seems that it is a choice between being lonely and putting up with the bullshit of what's currently on the dating market, namely mostly vain and horrible people ruined by social and mass media. And while f*minism achieved awareness of women's struggles and those few exceptions who actually desire and flourish in traditionally male roles (and not just being lied into) it has turned women more retarded and making them think they can have their cake and eat it, too. While as a man you're supposed to still burden the responsibilities of the traditional male role while being ashamed of wanting the benefits that come from that. Essentially reducing a guy to a pay piggie. While the type of girls I managed to get along with well are of the tomboy type who now are told to go have a "career", become l*sbians, "enbies" or ftm who need to have their tits cut off and what else this cl*wn world is throwing at these unicorns. And maybe it's just where I am but most women I run into here seem pretty horrible so I don't even see the reason to even bother. Since women my age are damaged from past relationships and z**mer girls are frankly brain fried as far as I can tell. Of course you will have to accept them running an o*lyfans on the side and often times I can cook better than them which is not a high bar but hey, that would be p*triarchy, right? And maybe that's just me but statistics indicate it's a wide spread issue of more than a third of both males and females being terminally alone. Frankly, s*ciety seems fuarrrked and only leaves one with bad choices for the most time since everyone appears to be a self absorbed cunt now (me included). That and wishing to have dated that one cute skater girl pre smartphone era but I was still too immature for that at that time. Oh well.. >make a better post >stop spamming Ok m*d trannies I'll play your game of guessing the asinine word filter.(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST,Always argue in good faith and avoid using personal attacks.)

>>81636 those who choose the natural reproduction and females for "love" will end up as meat for canon

>>81636 >who says that it is you who will not bomb it and leave yet another ruined person in this world? >I have no ability to predict my own actions nor control them lol what. just dont be that guy if you dont want to be that guy thats all you need to do. she might leave you, of course, if you let her

>>81636 >>finding a virgin girlfriend >Good luck with that unless you want to skirt the legal age of c*nsent laws and morality. My first GF was a virgin at age 19. She was definitely a normal user as well, although somewhat nerdy. I still fantasize sometimes about the sex we had, she was a real demon in bed. Anyway, just saying, they do exist, but there is an exponential decrease the older you are. >often times I can cook better than them which is not a high bar but hey, that would be p*triarchy, right? To be fair, my dad was always the cook of our family, and his dad before him. I consider the ability to make food for my partner a traditionally masculine trait. >z**mer gorls They're all right, I just wish they weren't addicted to their screens.

>>81636 >It looks like it's a dilemma between being inexperienced and burdened with preexisting relationship trauma. We are all older and have (hopefully) had enough relationships outside of romantic ones that we can grasp at what people are expecting and, at least, how to not hurt someone. >[the rest of your post] Yeah, maybe you should figure yourself out before you force your personality on some poor, nice girl. You seem really fuarrrking obnoxious. And cut out the asterisk-censoring thing. That was old years ago.

>>81636 I recognize that virginity is sadly not an easy thing to find and it shouldn't be that way. The tragedy of the global unhygienic culture. There is a collective tragedy here, but there remains individual option to escape the tragedy through conscious effort and luck. If you have the taste to appreciate the romance of purity, then you deserve to seize these opportunities more than other people do. I want to remind you that good things are possible and are likely much better than you can imagine, because you have not experienced them. The close physical presence of another person is a concept naturally synesthetic to it's own unique sensation. Surveys indicate that a good portion of highschool senior girls in the usa are virgins- about 1 in 4. Often more in other countries with more functionally traditional/conservative cultures. The problem exists and especially exists for the tasteful but homely gentleman. Out of epistemic courtesy I inform you the next paragraph is not my firsthand experience but rather relies on government/internet sources. I am going to presume the reader is white and not attractive. If you are willing to have sex with asians, they have much higher rates of self-reported virginity even in the USA and are more open to otherwise homely white men, especially if you go to poor countries- even if you aren't rich, you may find yourself able to provide a good life easily. You will want to look into genetic implications of this option if you require fertility. This technique also works for some white countries, but I imagine the motives may be more economic and less lusty. They may also set higher standards for white men, just supply and demand. Some places in asia have very white-looking women, like Kazakhstan, parts of Ladakh, or the white-asian hapa upper classes in SEA. >>81647 >And cut out the asterisk-censoring thing. That was old years ago. Obviously his attempt at bypassing word filter proxies for post quality

>>81701 I'm attractive but I feel that approaching hs girls would be creepy, especially because they could be busts in that their minds are empty. Romance wasted. >post quality It's better to respect the filters than posit yourself as an idiot that needs to use annoying catchphrases to get a point across.

>we need virgin women >it's a tragedy that we can't find virgin women what's this thing about virgin women? seeing how you've been used a few hundred times already i see no reason why you should be granted virgin women, let alone that virginity only has any value when it is to be preserved

>>81773 >we need sealed foods >its a tragedy that all the cans are opened in the store whats this thing about sealing cans and jars ? Seeing how you've already eaten (and opened) hundreds if not thousands of jars already, I see no reason why you should be granted sealed cans, not to mention that seals only have any value when they are to be preserved.

>>81777 >whats this thing about sealing cans and jars ? idk you invented it yourself. i really don't care, sell me any cans so long as the contents are edible and will stay edible til i get home. so far as i can tell there's no difference between fuarrrking virgin women and unvirgin women, so you're just being retarded. do you have ocd by any chance?

>>81773 >seeing how you've been used a few hundred times already But I haven't

If a woman is a virgin at such a late age in this world, it means something is badly fuarrrked up about her or she is just lying. In any case the world you want is long lost and certainly won't come back in your lifetime

>>81788 >t means something is badly fuarrrked up about her or she is just lying state your reasoning

>>81787 i meant you're a mental rag. every little imagination about women is like a ruthless dog to you, rips and tears your mind to pieces. and you just lay at the dog's feet and whine how you can't get a virgin woman

>>81789 No, it would be obvious to anybody who had normal social functioning and to somebody who doesn't it would never make sense. You are missing vital pieces

>>81797 So cultures where women stay virgins for longer have something innately wrong with them? Also, I'm pretty sure whatever's wrong with them is our type of wrong

>>81769 Not saying go after hs, just recent grads. Otherwise yeah a smart girl from overseas will be your best bet. >>81790 Please sharpen the edge of your prose. Are you making claiming they have le porn-brain, or obsessively hate women, or have self-sabotaging defeatism? You have only clarified you are not critiquing le man-whores. >>81833 WoC: being the same kind of incapable isn't always helpful. Another blind man in the land of the blind. A cute girl with aspergers, wouldn't it be great and convenient if both her and her boyfriend have theory of mind deficiencies? >>81769 If there were a style guide for the forum, the word filters would be more reasonable. I see no issue using meme verbiage if it is an efficient shorthand. >>81777 >>81779 None of these metaphors ever work for me regardless who deploys them. Let me explain things without metaphor so people don't need to interrogate anymore. To start, I have this feeling is that it is gross to stick my penis where another man's penis has been. This could be an evolutionary thing to mitigate c*ckoldry or sexual transmitted diseases, less plausibly it could be a psychic artifact of a culture that was in the grave before I was born. In any case, I have not found any convincing reason to surgically alter this aspect of myself. The counter is about whether people like me "should be granted virgin women". Why is this phrased as a matter of what people deserve? When I had a pure heart and innocence nobody told me I deserved love. If I was still pure and went out and asked for someone as pure in heart, that would not qualify me. Don't change the rules on me! Hardy anyone asks "do I deserve this?" in the real world. Even fewer approach life choices while pondering the process of making the world perfect. The girl will choose who to kiss, that is the qualifying process that society respects for determination of the deserving party. We all take what we can get, but if I could I would like to help people who can handle good things responsibly find their way to nice romances. There is also the romance of a less experienced female bonding with a male, which is arguably validated by divorce statistics. Disgust-sensitive and romantic men are obviously better matched with virgins. "Deserving" and the "how pure are you?" aside, this brings the world closer to perfection. What does "deserve" matter in the face of what is best?

>>81853 also on the language enhancer: it asked me not to talk about c*ckoldry. I think I understand the sort of person this is meant to filter, who applies the term to empathy or principle as if they were a beast of prey while they probably work as a middle manager. A metaphor applied widely shows the limits of a mind. But, I am literally talking about the biological phenomenon so I think I am respecting the forum.

>>81853 >To start, I have this feeling is that it is gross to stick my penis where another man's penis has been. Finally, someone with a good reason to prefer virgin women. >There is also the romance of a less experienced female bonding with a male Having personally experienced this, I think the bonding was almost entirely sexual on her part. After our first time it was basically the only thing we did, and I think it's probably the only reason she stayed with me. >>81855 Most of the word filters are meant to stop spam.

>>81859 >Finally, someone with a good reason to prefer virgin women. I thought that was a given. As in not needed to be stated.

>>81863 let women have their adventures lol, despite talking soykaf about women, they still humans and should be treated as such. either accept it or try ascending to a new level of consciousness

>>81867 >you don't understand I need to have sex with uncommitted stangers! VD and abortion-caused hysterectomies are proper punishments indeed

>>81867 women can do what they want. They will still not be a viable partner to me if they are not a virgin. I don;t care if they are a human, I don't want to be in a relationship with a bad human,

>To start, I have this feeling is that it is gross to stick my penis where another man's penis has been huh you must be rich then, and all things in your home must have been bought unused. you must never eat it public places, and generally not use public places at all. you must never interact with cash machines also. in shops you must wear gloves. oh did you know that the bottle you bought recently was likely touched by someone else? >I have not found any convincing reason to surgically alter this aspect of myself there are no reasons. i hope you're happy being unhappy about not having a virgin woman. also i hope you'll be happy when you find one and that your love will true platonic love and that your family will be a good one. virginity only lost social value recently, so totally understandable. >Why is this phrased as a matter of what people deserve? because you're not a god to claim things on a whim? if you wanna candy gotta work for it and deserve it. that's how material world works. you don't get anything here without turning a part of yourself into a sycophant or whatever. if you don't like that you live accordingly to what's given at hand and don't complain when something isn't there >The girl will choose who to kiss and ultimately decide whether you'll be granted her body or not >this brings the world closer to perfection what do you mean >What does "deserve" matter in the face of what is best? what do you know of the best things

>>75958 >Is starting a relationship with someone most likely younger than you even fruitful Absolutely. It will be much more enjoyable imo, a slight age gap whee the man is older is much more natural than same age couples. I am currently dating someone 7 years younger than me, and I honestly cannot see myself happy with someone older. She was a virgin when we met. College is not really a good place to find virginal women unless you exclusively pursue incoming freshman. The first year there will knock out most of those that remain. It is possible to find a virgin girlfriend, but you really have to set an upper limit of 19 on their age barring very rare outliers.

>>81879 >huh you must be rich then, and all things in your home must have been bought unused. you must never eat it public places, and generally not use public places at all. you must never interact with cash machines also. in shops you must wear gloves. oh did you know that the bottle you bought recently was likely touched by someone else? Not whoever you are replying to For important purchases, yes, I do only get new things, because if it matters to me I don't want it second hand. If it is just something that is disposable and not particularly valuable to me, then I am fine getting it used. I think women could be thought of in the same way. For a long term relationship she must be a virgin. There is more to it though. A woman's ability to bond with you/love you is a direct function of the amount of men she has been with, so by dating a used woman, you are not only having to stick your penis where another man's has been, but you are getting an overall lower quality relationship than the man before you. I just can't imagine subjecting myself to that willingly, but more power to you if you don't mind. I don't kink shame

>>81869 people can fuarrrk without commitment. if you are libertarian in any sense this should make sense to you

>>81897 not that lainon but This is not true for women at all. what is more, they become less able to commit in the future every time they have sex with another man.

stop with the virgin gf cope already

>>81897 Why should my opinions on the machinations of governments affect how I view private life? Conflation.

>>81896 >you are not only having to stick your penis where another man's has been, but you are getting an overall lower quality relationship than the man before you. yeah but all of this only exists in your head, see? that's the problem. you just let yourself fixate on a delusion and now it's grown to ocd level, so you can't even imagine it's a delusion. man air you breathe has been breathed by other man, good and wicked alike. you have no objective reasons to care about others' penises. you need to stop being delusional. it hinders your self respect and respect to others

>>81912 Plus every cell in everyone's body is replaced in about 7 years and girls uterine lining gets replaced monthly. It is very weird to fixate on the physical aspects. What is actually valid is whether there is or is not a psychological change a different view on sex and relationships in general and fear of being compared to someone else and not surpassing them.

>>81912 No. Have fun licking cum out of some chick btw.

>>81917 you're in denial, but i see you're capable of making your way out. you simply need to spend more time thinking about your delusion and understand that it's easily dispelled. btw have fun using public transport do you know what kinds of people use it as well?

>>81898 This post is just incorrect. Probably you will say it is supported with divorce statistics, but there are many other interpretations of that single correlation. For instance, there might be some third factor, such as perhaps religious piety, that causes both virginity on first marriage *and* unwillingness to divorce. Maybe what you really want is a highly religious girl. >>81916 >Plus every cell in everyone's body is replaced in about 7 years That's actually a myth. Plenty of your cells in your body will last for your entire adult life. It's also a silly point to make, obviously lain doesn't care about whether or not it's the same cells, they care about whether it's the same person. >>81917 come on lain, at least try to have a decent discussion. This is /sol/ after all. I don't really care why you want a virgin girl, I'm here to help you get one.

>>81908 you think government should stay out of private life. people like >>81898 see women as a kind of animal that needs to be controlled by those they see as more rational, and are generally in favor of things like intervention to achieve this. more principledly, if you don't think people should be controlled involuntarily then you would oppose this even if it didn't take the exact form of state agency or legislation.

>>81938 lain, the two aren't contradictory at all. Obviously lain only sees certain people as "people" who are worthy of rights etc. This was normal in America for well over 70 years.

>>81938 Again, private judgements do not necessarily make up public policy, nor does anyone insist that they do. Stop grasping at straws >>81940 >WAHH WAHH HE HAS A JUDGEMENTAL OPINION THAT MEENS HE DOESNT BELIEVE IN CIVIL LIBERTIES!!! You sound like a woman. Free will is wasted if it is not used to freely make good deciscions. There are objectively correct ways of living, but it is up to the individual to recognize that for him/herself. I do not want to be near people who are still figuring that part out and have destroyed their self worth and psyches in the process. Natural selection, if you will.

>>81941 Okay whatever. Do you actually want /Sol/utions or are you just here to bitch and moan?

>>81942 I don't know man. Everyone else startied arguing.

>>81871 you're just desperate lol

>>81944 Desperate because I have standards? I don't exactly follow. It would be more desperate to say that I was fine with a non-virgin woman because I believe finding a virgin woman is unlikely. >>81936 >decent discussion How is anyone meant to do that when >>81921 is making a comparison between using a bus and making a lifelong commitment to someone? Lol and it very much is true that women who are with other men are less capable of pair bonding in the future. I don't care about her religious status, I just want her to be a virgin who wants children.

>>81957 >making a comparison between using a bus and making a lifelong commitment to someone? public transport is a lifelong commitment as well. you're just in denial and think that women are more valuable than anything else, simply because you created exaggerated value for them in your head. you should fix that if you want to live a good life

>>81957 >how is anyone supposed to have a decent discussion when someone else isn't having a decent discussion? Just don't reply. >and it very much is true that women who are with other men are less capable of pair bonding in the future. I disagree, as I have already stated. It's definitely not self-evident. But that doesn't matter for the purposes of this thread. >I don't care about her religious status, I just want her to be a virgin who wants children. Then you should probably be looking for religious girls, for exaclty the reasons I said. Again, do you want help or do you want to bitch and moan?

>>81959 Hey again. Please refer to >>81917

>>81962 >It's definitely not self-evident Hard disagree but whatever. >Then you should probably be looking for religious girls Not necessarily. I am currently dating an 18 year old who is not religious and is a virgin. I think you just have to aim for women who are maybe 20 years old MAX. It does become quite hopeless if you wish to find a virgin girl above that age unless she is religious.

>>81964 >Not necessarily. I am currently dating an 18 year old who is not religious and is a virgin. I did too. Didn't turn out well. I do think virginity is highly correlated with religiosity past the age of 18. >It does become quite hopeless if you wish to find a virgin girl above that age unless she is religious. That's kind of what I meant. I'm assuming lain is of the age when really young women with little to no experience of adult life are less interesting (around 27-30)

>>81966 I don't mind if it doesn't last forever, but I would like to get her pregnant before then. She is welcome to leave after we have a child. I can't really ever see a point in my life when women with more experience would be interesting to be honest and I am approaching the ages you mentioned. What exactly do you find appealing about that?

>>81967 >I don't mind if it doesn't last forever, but I would like to get her pregnant before then. Hate to break it to you, but that is the #1 way that people get trapped in terrible marriages. I don't mean experience as in sexually, I mean experience as in being able to cook, clean, do their own dishes, deal with their own problems without parental help, etc. I can't stand to be around people that still act like children, and I find 18 year olds tend to usually be like that. They're nice to look at and maybe fuarrrk (haven't tried in years) but not partner material in my eyes. Basically I mean someone who has a substantial amount of life under their belt.

>>81968 >Basically I mean someone who has a substantial amount of life under their belt. I grew up pretty fast and because of that have a gamut of practical and interpersonal skills learned from older people, in addition to practically acting as a therapist for several adults throughout my life. The result of this is that I have a lot of experience that only older people have, but I also see people my age as kids and I'm pretty sure they see me in the same light as their fathers - as in they are probably annoyed of me. I have all this knowledge that no one'll get any use out of besides myself.

>>81940 fair enough. still pretty interesting how roe v wade enshrined the right to privacy and stuff >>81941 its not a private judgment. its being posted ad nauseum on imageboards that get too much exposure to the mainstream, but even moreso on normal person social media like facebook groups and twitter. its the greatest political turning point in the USA in over a decade, you simply turn a blind eye at your convenience.

>>81987 >a guy saying he doesn't want to date a whore is the greatest political turning point in a decade >but women are also unlikely to be virgins after 18-20 Doesn't seem like it's done much.

>>81967 >I don't mind if it doesn't last forever, but I would like to get her pregnant before then. She is welcome to leave after we have a child. hm you sound like a retard so it'll be a good thing if you don't get any virgin women. but if you do tell them i'm sorry for their folly of dating you

>>81987 >roe v wade enshrined the right to privacy and stuff I would take this 'right to privacy' seriously if the conclusion of roevwade was, perhaps, that illegalization of abortion by a state or locale was legal, but that due to privacy reasons, a doctor cannot divulge information about a patient nor can be subpoenaed, and that there'd be no practical way for the state to discover and prosecute an abortionist, be they mother or doctor if they did not go outside yelling they had done it, or advertise abortions publicly. Instead it prevented states from illegalizing abortions and protects the right to do so in an incredibly public manner. The extent to which USA has medical privacy rules is much more clearly determined from the much more recent congressional law HIPAA, which isn't too aggressive in terms of defense against subpoenas and stuff, and as far as I know has about zero connection with this so called right to privacy. Not to mention that if a right to privacy were taken seriously about anything other than this and the right to sell condoms in the grocery store, there'd be significant spillout effects regarding, well, privacy. There aren't.

>>81987 >its the greatest political turning point in the USA in over a decade I don't know man, I'm not seeing any mandatory chastity belt bills on the ballots

>>75958 This thread has caused me to ruminate over why we value virginity in our own lives so much when it seems that many others don't. Without going into cultural dynamics including free-love ideas and the breakdown of whatever, I'm starting to think that we value virginity acutely. To begin explaining that, what I find from people I've asked online and IRL is that they find the time when they lost their virginity as a mostly positive-neutral event. With time it wasn't life changing but was very exciting for the time (in normal cases) - somewhat akin to driving for the first time. Seeing that people who led normal lives with typical levels of socialization and work life put less intrinsic value on virginity as time increases, it seems that we value it more because of our lack of socialization and imperception of important life events. Being an advanced age, we have progressed through several important events that, from a lack of visible spectators (family, friends, randos), are rendered less important than normal people would percieve it. Getting a job, buying a car, moving out, graduating college, all of that seems less important because we have had no one to share it with. Therefore we attach our emotions to women in the same position as us in terms of relationship/sexual experience so that we can advance a large part of our lives together, and if we don't have that we will be just another guy in the history of someone who is further along than we are. We want to embed ourselves as a percieved-to-be important memory in our mind and our partner's, as we feel that's when we can really "start" our lives. That isn't to say that wanting your girlfriend to be a virign as well isn't something irrational; we are simply different and are a product of circumstance much the same everyone else in the world is. This is our condition until it is met, even if we give up. On a separate personal note: having a large and close family doesn't supplant the emotional perception/development that I intrisically want in a closer relationship, all it makes me feel like is an overgrown child that still hangs out with his parents and hasn't moved on in a healthy manner. tl;dr being emotionally retarded is surfening

>>82490 To me personally it isn't even about virginity itself but meeting someone who isn't a promiscuous degensrate. Being promiscuous is normalized nowdays, unfortunately. For both men and women. I just wanted to meet someone whom I could love and would love me back. Unfortunately, this is probably magnitudes more difficult than finding a cute virgin gf. 'Cute virgin gf' is probably a good starting point towards finding actual love, though.' Personally I would probably be happier in a completely sexless relationship, if possible. But asexual girls who are actually asexual are much rarer.

>24 yo virgin >Pretty ugly >Abusive parents I don't talk to anymore >Molested by parents >PTSD >Unemployed >Broke >No driving licence >Can't talk to women, afraid of them even >Have some friends >Have a hobby I know it's over for love and all that, I just want meaningless sex without having to go to a prostitute, is that to much to ask? Where should I go? How should I do it? Everytime I talk about this I get stupid advice like "just be yourself" and "the right girl will come to you eventually" I really really need help, I have no confidence, spent a fortune on shrinks that didn't even help me, my friends sometime try to bring me to rave/parties but I'm too unattractive for that scene. I know deep down that it's over for me, I don't think I'm THAT unattractive, I'm a 3/10 but not deformed or anything like that, I mean it's so easy for everyone else and I've seen people less conventionally attractive than me get laid plenty of time, I mean it probably is the trauma's fault but every psychiatrist is useless in my country apparently so...

>>83268 Famalam, I don't want to sound harsh, but not having sex sounds like the least of your concerns. Think about your basic needs first >Unemployed >Broke >No Drivers license Then focus on your health >PTSD Then focus on your friendships >Social belonging >Hobbies Then you can work on being a seggs haver. Anything else is just playing with disaster. Sexual abuse/assault victims often want to have meaningless sex to feel like they have control as a response mechanism. I would not encourage that sort of behavior though.

>>83270 >Sexual abuse/assault victims often want to have meaningless sex to feel like they have control as a response mechanism. Actually I'd like to be confident, I just want to know I'm good enough for someone, anyone. It's really infuriating, how easy it is for most people to get laid, yet. I need to get rich and get healthy before I can even try,I'm not saying I'm looking for an attractive woman by the way, I genuinely don't care.

>>83272 You don't need to be rich and healthy. You need to be in a position where you aren't just surviving off of social systems and society. Essentially you just need to be able to take care of yourself, and right now it seems like you can't.

>>83268 You list these traits off as if they’re essential and permanent, either lower your standards or try to pull yourself up

>>83278 >You list these traits off as if they’re essential and permanent, either lower your standards or try to pull yourself up Bro how am I supposed to lower my standards when I'll take absolutely anyone? I just want to get some pussy before I lose my hair and it's truly over, soykaf is already hard as it is I'd like to feel love or at least intimacy once before I blow my brains out So my question is, where and how do I approach desperate, ugly, fat and/or old women?

Do you think there are happy endings to stalking? I've always been hurt by it. I fell in love with my new friend all over again. I know absolutely everything about him. Honestly, I don't see my life without him. Right now as I'm writing this, I feel empty in my chest. I hope he doesn't suspect me and continues to be my friend.

>>83285 As long as you don't divulge your stalking, and what you learn you "learn" naturally from them, then how would they know? I don't think that learning about the people around you is bad, but being fixated on them certainly can be. Stalking will probably end up with you either in legal trouble, or at best losing a friend.

>>83286 Yeah, I think you're absolutely right.

>>83280 I think you have already answered your own question. You already consider yourself to be in an inescapable hole/downward spiral, when you literally have the tools to climb out of it. Lowering your standards to drug addicts in the street or other people for food, drugs, or a place to stay are all bad options that will probably end with you getting a disease or worse. >soykaf is already hard as it is I'd like to feel love or at least intimacy once before I blow my brains out You seem to have already chosen this outcome, without exploring other paths you could take. Sure you can sit and wallow in whatever dark hole you are in, or you could stop being a deadbeat, get a job, make money, and then be able to afford comfort and be someone people would be more willing to spend time with. I can't help you with your trauma, but there are plenty of exercises you can do yourself for coming to terms with it or overcoming it. It is your trauma, not ours. That is all, I hope you have a good day Lain!

>>83268 get a car you can go anywhere with a car and when it breaks down you can focus on fixing it rather than more aetherial things

>>83288 >Lowering your standards to drug addicts in the street or other people for food, drugs, or a place to stay are all bad options that will probably end with you getting a disease or worse. I'm not homeless, I rent a very small appartment >>83288 >get a job, make money, and then be able to afford comfort and be someone people would be more willing to spend time with. I have friends, I have a creative hobby, I go to social gatherings, I had a job until 2 months ago and saved up a bit of cash for the summer, when I had money and a job I couldn't get a girlfriend, what was I doing wrong? Cmon I'm 24 yo and you assume I haven't tried at all? Maybe minimum wage isn't enough, maybe I need to make 6 figures, and fix my brain, and fix my face and maybe by the time I'm 60 I'll get to have sex, maybe, right?

>>83290 >when I had money and a job I couldn't get a girlfriend, what was I doing wrong ? what were you doing ? were you going to bars and trying to flirt ? Were you approaching girls at parties ? How many new girls did you try to talk to in a month ? I'm not talking dating apps by the way, dating apps don't work, you need to be out there doing the work for most of the success stories I have heard.

>>83291 >what were you doing ? Social gatherings with at least one friend present >were you going to bars and trying to flirt ? I hate bars, they're expensive a you have a 1/4 chance end up in a fight with a violent cokehead. >Were you approaching girls at parties ? Yes, but for some reason there aren't a lot of women at house parties, those that show up mostly aren't single >How many new girls did you try to talk to in a month ? I straight up got rejected like once, she flirted with me I asked her out and it turned out she did that to make her bf jealous. I talked to a lot of women anyway, they always made clear that they don't want to talk to me, they'll just "go to the washroom" as soon as we're starting a conversation, or just stare at one of my attractive friends until I give up. I get mogged by all of my friends, it's not only that I can't talk to women at all, I am not confident, I am not interesting and I am unattractive. So yeah, I tried but it's no use, so now I am looking for is a woman that's either morbidly obese or at least 50 year old, where and how can I meet women like this?

>>83292 >I am not confident, I am not interesting and I am unattractive sounds like a bad attitude. even if this is true I think you will be better served by optimism. Alternately, become interesting, become attractive. I guess you cant change everything but you can improve yourself in non insignificant ways. >not a lot of single ladies at house parties huh I seem to see a lot here but maybe I go to different house parties, and half of the ones I see are literal prostitutes so no good I guess >bars are expensive and you get in fights expensive, sure. If you get in fights with cokeheads then thats very fascinating. >I straight up got rejected like once only once ? FWIW I have heard a lot of stories of successes coming at the end of a long string of rejections, where the guy just didn't give up. Its worth a shot I think. >at least 50 m8 are you not in this for kids IDK how to meet the morbidly obese I mostly try to stay away from them. good luck sir

>>83292 The 50+ crowd unironically uses facebook dating. I'm not even going to elaborate on this. >>83294 Lmao, have you heard of the drinking game where you and your friends take a shot every time someone gets rejected in a public setting, and the one who gets rejected for the night the most wins? It's not enough that you might have some success. You must be the absolute biggest failure of the night to win. Obese women you can also find via various dating apps and online. Word of advice, they are not very hygienic people on account of their difficulty in mobility from being fat.

>>83296 >The 50+ crowd unironically uses facebook dating. I'm not even going to elaborate on this. >Obese women you can also find via various dating apps and online. Word of advice, they are not very hygienic people on account of their difficulty in mobility from being fat. Thanks a lot, I'll set up a facebook, in my country obese people aren't really common, I won't find them on tinder I already tried.

>>83294 >>83296 >>83297 seriously , i rather not have sex than touch a gross female like that. for the love of your unborn sons you guys should have standards.>>83297

>>83298 >neurosuggesting I want to pass down my rotten genes What's so wrong about having sex with "gross" women. A 3/10 24 yo virgin with an imageboard addiction is widely considered a "gross" man. I'm not gonna wait for a beautiful girl to fall in love with my ugly, socially inept ass because that is not gonna happen. I could still see a prostitute, go to a poor country, or bring a girl from a war torn country or whatever, but that's lowkey human trafficking and I'm not into that. I find women frustrating, I don't talk to them they don't talk to me, because I look off. But even then, I don't hate women, I don't hate natural selection, I don't hate the genetic lottery and I don't hate fate. I'll settle for a woman twice my age or my weight, not because I'm desperate, but because I need to settle for my looksmatch.

>>83298 you mean obese ? at least obese people can get thin, old ladies are old ladies and never getting any younger >>83299 >neurosuggesting lol ok then just kill yourself and get it over with faggit

>>83299 i mean this with full sincerity: have you considered hobbies?

>>83301 As I've said before I have a creative hobby, I am an indie filmmaker, actor and director. Even as an actor, as a director and as a team leader I get no ass, but that's not why I do it obviously I just like making short films. Asking out people from the team is the fastest way to kill the project too so that's a big no no, for unattractive people at least, people get laid on my set, just not be because I'm a stuttering fool that wasn't born the right way. My films are hot garbage I won't share them here.

>>83302 Not only that but I did 3 years of acting school, place is a fuarrrkfest and I was there at almost every party, never got laid. I'm THAT unattractive, it's not only my looks apparently, I've asked my friends for advice plenty of time. Apparently the reasons why I'm single are: >I'm ugly >I'm scared of women >I'm weird/insane >I look sick >I'm socially inept So yeah, sending me to a nightclub, or planning a double date isn't gonna do the trick, my friends tried to get me out there but I'm too flawed, low value, beta or whatever you want to call it. So yeah I just want to sleep with ANY woman that's willing, considering my situation, I don't see anything wrong with that

>>83303 i don't understand how banging "any" woman is going to help if she affirms the fact you're the bottom of the barrel, but if you really think it's going to help, try not to wreck any lives in the process. just wear a condom. please.

>>83303 what is it you want, just to have sex, or like to get married and have a family or what I know people who have gone from approximately your state to engaged in like two months, and not by following their friends advices. life is weird, good luck and don't give up

>>83310 I'd just like to have sex once, I don't want kids unless I'm not the father, I would love to be in a relationship but I don't think it is a realistic goal. >good luck and don't give up Thanks

How do I get used to being around gen z glitterboys? I know I need to make friends with people my age but listening to gen z glitterboys and being in their culture is fuarrrking torture for me. I'm in my early twenties right now but have spent most of my entire life around adults much older than me who were able to speak eloquently, had interesting things to say, and made diverse references. College was rough for me because I had to live around these assholes for 4 years and it was essentally a live-in study of them and their "culture", which I've gathered to be actively contradicting what you say as you say it, cartoons, various pop-punk movements and "consiracy theories", and fake nostalgia. Needless to say I graduated without any friends and am currently unemployed, but I need to learn to tolerate the way they speak and their "culture" so I can advance my life already.

>>83312 This is not a gen z problem it's a group problem, it's important to understand the linguo of the group, it's like a language, if you hear a word you don't understand just ask, and start using it, it probably doesn't exist and was made from within the group. This happens at all ages.

>>83313 I don't want to use their language. And it seems to definitely be more of a gen z issue because the other groups I interact with tend to speak in more neutral, proper english and not jargon-y soykaf. It'd be different if I were interacting with a group of people that had a reason to be using jargon (e.g., a technically oriented club), butslang is generally useless and annoying.

>>83312 maybe don't bother trying to interface with your age peers but just try to find decent people, older if need be, and deal with and befriend them. No reason you have to preferentially seek out agepeers.

>>83327 >No reason you have to preferentially seek out agepeers I've been NOT doing this my whole life and I realized, as stated in the initial post, that I need to find someone to date around my age or younger for several reasons.

>>83301 not op; the set of hobbies that are both social and I can be passionate about is the null set.

It's an eye opening experience to see people so delirious. Everyday i thank the cosmos for giving me the "focus on hobbies and loved ones" fixation and not the "need virgin gf the west has fallen" one. I've had 5 gfs in the past, 3 of them were virgins when we met. IME don't really feel a difference except maybe the virgin ones hadn't had experience in relationships so they couldn't appreciate some things you notice by comparison. If you have only ate the best burger ever, it's just a burger; you don't have a reference. My current gf is the sweetest girl ever and, having had previous bfs, knows the cesspool that dating is and doesn't take my good traits for granted. Anyway virgin or not, they're just normal people lol. Focus on their actual personality.

>>83365 >"focus on hobbies and loved ones" fixation Would it surprise you to know that people who fixate on this before the latter usually wind up regretting getting stuck in frivolous hobbies instead of experiencing intimate human relationships? If you read the thread, the point of "virgin gf" isn't that she needs to be cosmically pure or anything, it's that her virginity will be tied into her personality, much as ours is. The lack of pretense, experience, and all the above (some of which you've mentioned) matter here.

>>83366 First of all i disagree on the frivolous hobbies topic. Doing useless joyous things is not only a necessity for virtue, but a way to expand your spirit (in the platonic way, not the new age bullshi). Also helps you to meet people and i find some activities make conversation more dynamic (walking, painting, doing puzzles) As for the virgin thing, how is it a personality trait? And if it is: what happens when she stops being a virgin? Or is everybody's plan to meet a virgin gf and stay celibate?

>>83367 >but a way to expand your spirit You're spirit only expands so much before you realize it can't go much further without someone else in your life. Trust me when I say that a lot of men in my position did essentially what you are saying by "focusing on ourselves" and wound up alone with a bunch of neat information and inner peace but noone to share our clarity and skills with. >how is it a personality trait? Note that I didn't say it was a "trait" but that it signified something about her wider personality. Having sex beforehand also says something about a woman's personality. And the point of getting a virgin gf is, one, about what >>83190 puts forth and, two, about developing alongside this woman you've met; being in the same position emotionally. You aren't in a position to understand this given that you are an unvirgin and have probably held a normal social life whilst working on yourself to a limited extent. Since the thread is geared towards solutions, if you want to share some advice on the subject beyong "lolzerz u gais are LAME" then that'd be great.

>>83368 To be clear I'm a different Lain than the one you are currently replying to. It doesn't really say something inherent. What says something is the actual stated attitudes someone holds about relationships. I haven't seen any inherent difference between girls who are virgins and girls who have had sex in context of a relationship with someone they loved but the relationship didn't turn out then the process repeats. That is different from someone having sex purely for fun and not really considering it something of a limited value to express feelings. But even the later type isn't inherently devaluing relationships as a whole since it is possible for someone to not see sex as inherently exclusive to love while still being a romanticist. So it's complicated. The real reason more seek virgins is because they think it is icky to put their dicky where another has been and it's kind of lulzy view especially when you consider women replace their uterus lining on a regular timeline. I can understand when it is about insecurity, worrying about being potentially compared to someone else and feeling like you did not get to share the same moment, but the value of the relationship itself the emotions behind the act can be different so while not physically first it may be emotionally first for them. The physical aspect isn't what matters and it doesn't accurately indicate anything and is more a loose guide for people you don't know anything about. I've known of immature virgins who don't really have views different from someone who has a lot of promiscuity or a low view of romance since they just haven't yet acted on their desires. Try to think more critically since it is a lot of nuance. I get it though if it's more an emotion thing since I feel similar but with me it is less focused on sex and more about being able to relate with each other in general so I can be understood easier, not that anything is inherently required to do that. The problem with virgins though is a lot of girls first times they didn't like and may even hold grudges on who they were with either because they were not ready or just did not have the right knowledge regardless of their age even which most people completely ignore and assume someone is instantly ready once they hit a certain age. So you would have to be more attentive to their psychological needs since there is a higher likelihood their lack of experience may be linked with other things. Someone who has already had sex and hasn't for some years is probably more likely to think better of the experience from learning from past experience. Not that these things are inherently connected, certainly a virgin can have a great first experience but that requires a great considerate partner which means placing one's self under higher pressure to do well. And likewise a girl who has had sex with several people before may not inherently any more ready for sex than her first time, it all depends on her mentality. Get what I am saying?

>>83371 >Get what I am saying? Is it picrel? On a serious note, I feel like I'm qualified to attend to all of those things. Now it's just a matter of getting to it. Plus personal preference is personal preference, i.e., it matters to me (cleary).

>>83368 Sorry for the "lol get laid" attitude. My closest friends are incels (not saying it in an insulting way) and it hurts me having seen their path to delusion when they are actually very sweet, loving people. I believe it's just their fear of women getting in the way, as well as the notion that they are separate being from men. That's why i insist on women being normal people, not some math problem to solve or a prey to hunt. Why would you fear someone such as yourself? I'm not saying everyone is like you (some men also aren't like you) but there are objectivelly women you will relate to and vice versa. Of course the chances of finding one grow if you aren't looking for a virgin for some mystical reason. I'm not saying you can't have that preference, i'm questioning wether it's actually what you are looking for. Many virgin girls are fuarrrking stupid, judgy, immature. So are many unvirgin girls. So why focus on that irrelevant aspect instead of on them being kind, fun, accepting, maybe a little weird, emotionally mature (don't date toxic co-dependent people, worst mistake ever, it's like having a fking baby that dies when you aren't around) Imagine there's a great girl out there, someone you will love and who will reciprocate that love in a healthy way. Now imagine she's already met someone like you in the past, and after some time it ended (for whatever reason). She's still the great girl you picture yourself with, she didn't automatically rewire her brain into a whore mentality. Why not give her a chance? That's my advice. Drop the bias. It's like looking for a blonde girl: possible but ultimately, why is that even important? As for the first part of your comment, i was explicit in that my pursuit was developing my hobbies and my relationships with the people i love (friends and family too). I agree wholeheartedly that inner peace and hobbies are not enough to fill the soul. Connection with your loved ones is equally if not more important. But for that you must also have your own life, your own passions, nurture youself. Extra little advice: don't expect a relationship to fill your whole life. It must be a nice detail, a VERY nice and important detail but potential partners are ussually turned off by people who don't have anything going for themselves or expect their relationship to be their only source of joy. Partners want an equal, not a puppy that dies when you aren't in the room. Godspeed lains, the road is not all roses but it sure as hell is possible. WAGMI

>>83380 >So why focus on that irrelevant aspect instead of on them being kind, fun, accepting, maybe a little weird, emotionally mature I don't know how to describe it other than it simply being a condition. I'll be friends with anyone who wants or needs to be around me, but only with certain women will I only consider taking things seriously. People have their limits; this is mine. >It's like looking for a blonde girl: possible but ultimately, why is that even important? Because every day you'll have to associate with a non-blonde, stare at a non-blonde, seriously consider life with a non-blonde, when what was important to you is that you had a blonde chick. Hair color is a little less important here - unless you're practicing eugenics of some sort, but I thkn it's pretty easy to see why a rational adult would want to have certain restrictions respected, especially in something as personal as a relationship intended to be long-lasting. >Connection with your loved ones is equally if not more important. I believe this too and assume most people are able to see why this is important. I'm in a big family that's mostly women and we are all close, so I get having a strong family unit. But the problem is that when you get to an advanced age and all you're doing is acting like a family member, you start to feel like an overgrown child that can't healthily detach from the family unit to start something. It's as if you're an eternal little brother. That's why when you focus on family for too long you start to get diminishing returns on fulfilment. >potential partners are ussually turned off by people who don't have anything going for themselves or expect their relationship to be their only source of joy I'm the same way. I even get turned off by potential friends who don't do more than smoke weed and play video games. I like to assume that the people who participate in these types of threads already have everything else set up in their lives and are only visiting these threads because they've exhausted every other option that isn't "Go to semi-obscure imageboard and beg for help". >WAGMI Nigra what do you mean "W"? You already made it normally. You're a normal dude who happens to browse imageboards. pic unrel

>>83380 i am a snake eater(wink wink)

>>83302 You haven't considered making porn? I won't suggest it, but the film industry is not far removed from the porn industry, so I am curious if you have thought about it or not.

>>83383 First of all, thanks for being respectful. These kind of debates tend to go to soykaf pretty easily. I don't agree with you on the virgin thing but i now undertstand your point better, so thank you. It may be arbitrary but it's your preference. Also i said WAGMI because despite having "made it", it's not an achievement, it's a habit. I've been in very dark places in my life and nothing should be taken for granted. Making it is a day to day thing.

>>83371 This addresses your point. It's as if the world is focused on making men who notice these things and aren't emotionally stunted forever-teenagers who will put their dicks and wallets into anything that's slightly attractive miserable

>>83268 Bumping this posts because besides telling me to get rich and swole and work on my trauma I haven't had any useful answers. Im not gonna have sex by being kind and by waiting and I am too ugly for dating apps I need a solution because my birthday is soon and each year I remain a virgin I get more depressed, I want to be held by a woman but apparently as a 24 year old virgin I'm impatient and should just wait for it to happen, help me please it feels like wherever I go I'm only getting empty and useless advice on this topic, like I'm already doing the self improvement stuff, where the hell do I meet and talk to women without being a creep? Apparently this is possible even for ugly people such as myself, is this bullshit or is this true?

>>83445 >Apparently this is possible even for ugly people such as myself, is this bullshit or is this true? Just to clarify, what I mean by this is: I want meaningless sex, not a marriage and two kids, I'm against the idea of sex work so that makes it harder I guess but cmon there's gotta be something I can do besides "keeping my chin up and keep working hard and being healthy", I do not mean to be rude, I know self improvement is important I started lifting 3 times a week recently, but I don't think doing this is gonna spawn an horny woman in my home gym. I need to actually interact with women if I ever want to get laid, the functions I go to are sausagefests, when there are women they come in small groups and most are already taken, ever since I graduated from film school I've never seen more than 3 women at a party despite living in the literal city of love and pursuing a career path famous for it's promiscuous people, yet somehow all my friends get laid while I don't. I know this isn't a good picture and I've posted it here before, I've gotten some advice on looksmax.org and now I'm on collagen and vitamin C, apparently it's good for my eyebags and wrinkles. Seriously the loneliness is crushing me, it's becoming too much for me to bear, I need actual advice not bullshit "stop looking and it'll come to you" advice, if you don't have any good advice but do know where I can find some please tell me, I'm desperate.

>>83449 Nigga, you ain't even ugly. You just look like you want to bash someones face in because he looked at you funny. Smile a little more, and quit being so tense. It looks like your shoulders are hunched over from being tense. Walk upright with your chest out and head held high. Show some pride and respect for yourself instead of desperation. People are not receptive to someone who looks like they are on edge. I would say your biggest flaw is that you don't look confident, and almost like you are about to cry or lash out at someone. If I saw you IRL, I would unironically ask you what's going on. Your problem is that you are going to functions that are sausage fests. You are losing at a numbers game objectively. You will have no chance at talking to women if you aren't around them. Going to the gym is fine, you should make sure that you do a healthy mix of cardiovascular exercise along with your lifting, and don't take advice from strangers on the internet so seriously. Also why do you want meaningless sex so badly? It's a serious question, because sex is a serious subject. There is always a risk of pregnancy and diseases, even if you take precautions, and then you either face a hard conversation or a lifelong obligation. From your string of posts, it sounds like you are approaching the problem from the wrong angle, but I don't really know you enough to be able to figure out what you are doing wrong. It's obvious you are desperate, but falling into despair is the opposite of what you should be doing to be confident enough to attract attention of people.

>>83452 >You just look like you want to bash someones face in because he looked at you funny. >you don't look confident, and almost like you are about to cry or lash out at someone. If I saw you IRL, I would unironically ask you what's going on. That would be the pale skin, eyebags and freaky eyes, I often get told I look like a sociopath or a pedophile. Frankly I think it's just the thousand yard stare that makes people think this, I've been through rough spots but I couldn't hurt a fly. >Smile a little more, and quit being so tense. I'll try but due to smile line I look old as soykaf every time I smile, hence why I don't smile at picture, like balding wasn't enough I'm getting wrinkles at 24. >don't take advice from strangers on the internet so seriously. My friends irl are chads, none of them have given me actual advice, every time I try to talk about this with them they just get confused and irritated, wonder how it got to this point then tell me I need to be more confident and wait for a woman to jump into my life. >Also why do you want meaningless sex so badly? It's a serious question, because sex is a serious subject. I lack confidence and sexual experience, I feel inadequate in social settings, I dread my first time because I know it'll be short and awkward, then the second one too, then again and again until I finally figure out how to not bust in 2 seconds, so if we're gonna go through humiliating trial and error I'd rather get through it now because every year is getting lonelier. I mean why build a whole relationship when I know I'll disappoint my partner in bed right? >be confident enough to attract attention of people. I know I have qualities I'm not that depressed, I'm creative and have leadership qualities, I am also quite well read in philosophy, which makes me a favorite amongst the stoner crowd, but my biggest strength is my friends I think, they're super loyal and helpful. I just want to get laid so I'll feel a little bit less like soykaf all the time, like just once and I don't care who with as long as she's breathing and over 18.

>>83454 Different Lain here. Don't try to tan it will age you. Just use some adapalene on your face or something supposedly it's as effective as tredinoin but less irritating. It will should collagen production which would reduce wrinkles and may reduce the darkness under your eyes though im not sure on the later. It's normal to have wrinkles when you make an expression, it's not really a wrinkle unless it is there when not making an expression. Alternatively you could use a derma roller or derma stamp pad which also can be used on the scalp which helps hair growth some claim, just don't use anything over 0.5mm probably just 0.25 is enough, going deeper sometimes causes damage to your adipose tissue. Also make sure you arent deficient in any vitamins but dont take super doses either, that could be one possible cause of thinning hair. Sleep on a silk pillow case so your face is less likely to bunch up when on it and your hair glides across it more it's one thing that reduces signs of aging but you look young though from my perspective just thin hair but that also looks thin because you aren't drying it in a way it gets volume, it's just resting flat on your head. Having sex won't really make you feel that better about yourself, I have known a few guys who sleep with different girls each week and they aren't happy people, very insecure actually. Not that I think it holds no value but just save it for with someone that means something to you which you likely have better odds with than a random horny stranger anyway.

>>83455 Thanks for the advice, I ordered adapalene. And for the record I do have smile lines even when I don't smile, can't compete with time I suppose, at least I won't look so sick anymore thanks to you.

>>83455 >just save it for with someone that means something to you which you likely have better odds with than a random horny stranger anyway. It's a huge red flag for a guy to be a virgin at 24, I'm better off just saying I had sex once in highschool. In the past few years there has been two times where women have tried to use that information against me, both drunk sluts trying to bring me down to make themselves look good, needless to say this didn't really fly since the function is a sausagefest, so people just ignored it and never invited them again. I know it is hard to grasp but most women apparently hate virgins, one of my friend's girl found out I am a virgin and immediately asked me if I was racist and wanted to kill women. Idk maybe it's a gen Z thing.

>>83457 >It's a huge red flag for a guy to be a virgin at 24, I'm better off just saying I had sex once in highschool. depends on who you're talking to. Yeah if you're talking to normals then obviously don't mention that because society dictates that people have sex as soon and as much as possible. But if you've been talking to someone for a while who you can trust fairly well then mentioning that might actually be a good thing. It doesn't necessarily mean that the virgin is just that repulsive, it might mean that they have standards that haven't been met yet. That fact can be very attractive and make their choice of you being their first more meaningful. And this isn't just a nice fantasy, this actually happened to me (he was a 24 y/o virgin who could have lost it but chose not to). Also maybe avoid dating drunks, especially ones who can soykaftalk you to other people you know

>>83460 >depends on who you're talking to. Yeah if you're talking to normals then obviously don't mention that because society dictates that people have sex as soon and as much as possible you meant low class and working class part of society.

>>83452 >Your problem is that you are going to functions that are sausage fests So which interesting functions AREN'T sausage fests? Remember that we are men and won't find things like make up stores and anime interesting. All of my activities revolve around LAN parties, exercising, shooting, autowork, and computer soykaf. Where are we supposed to find young women that aren't taken? Please don't say school/uni I already blew that opportunity and hate thinking about it >>83454 >I often get told I look like a sociopath or a pedophile. One of us, one of us, one of us... >I lack confidence and sexual experience... I mean why build a whole relationship when I know I'll disappoint my partner in bed right? Learn about the concept of tantric sex. The QRD is that it focuses on you enjoying your partner as she is and enjoying yourself as well, there being a sort of harmony that's focused on passion and emotion rather than "how do I not feel good when I feel really good?"; that sort of thinking is what misinformed highschoolers are concerned with. Sex shouldn't the pinnacle of a relationship, it should be an activity that you partake in because you love who you're with and want to give her pleasure because of that. But if you're not into that hippie soykaf just know your first time will not be the best. >>83457 >It's a huge red flag for a guy to be a virgin at 24, I'm better off just saying I had sex once in highschool. That comes off as insecure as fuarrrk under inspection and if someone finds it to be a "red flag" then they aren't worth your time. >>83464 Wow, that's really pretentious

>>83488 if you're looking for co-ed meeting places, everybody drinks coffee. if you're looking for co-ed places where you're guaranteed to mix with women, dating apps were made for that, and everybody of both sexes who've hung up their pride for a chance are already there. don't forget "leagues" are a thing for a reason. the only girls i had a chance with as a kid were the ones who didn't know they were gay yet. before you laugh, i was told it's because i was "uniquely sensitive". the only ones i have a chance with now are on drugs and mistake my terminally exhausted exterior for that of a fellow junkie.

>>83490 >coffee shops >dating apps >"leagues" wow, you really dug deep for that advice anon. Why not just tell me to be myself while you're at it?

>>83492 just be yourself brah >>83488 certain types of exercise aren't so badly balanced, maybe look at hiking groups or something ?

>>83499 >hiking I do that pretty often on local mountains around here, but hiking isn't a really good time for conversation because you're huffing and puffing and I hike in old military gear so I look kind of stupid. I only get complements from old guys who recognize my ALICE gear

>>83504 look buddy we're not talking about sperging out here or trying to get good at a physical sport, we're talking about trying to pick up women. You won't be out of breath because you'll be going slow so that everyone else in the group can keep up, and she'll probably be going slow so as to look at flowers and take photos and listen to bird songs and let the fatsos in the back not get too far behind, and there will be plenty of time for conversation both during the hike which will take about 3x as long as it would if you were doing it yourself. If you want to get out of breath anyway just fill all your pockets with lead. It can be a conversation starter.

>>83506 it really is too bad that you can't pick up good women by being yourself

>>83488 >So which interesting functions AREN'T sausage fests? Remember that we are men and won't find things like make up stores and anime interesting. This sounds immature and like you are unsure of your sexuality. You don't have to like something to appreciate being around people who do. Obviously I'm not saying to torture yourself by going to makeup tutorial meet ups, but you can always go to non-gendered social events and cultural places. Art galleries and large conventions, professional meeting and networking groups and clubs like toastmasters which also help with public speaking are all options that aren't super technical things. All of the hobbies you mention are male dominated, and have a pattern of being extremely technical and time consuming. Look up events at your library or art galleries, and there are also social event's like luncheons or dinners or holiday or theme galas that you can go to. You can even take the time to dress up and practice socializing to get better social skills and practice being positive and polite which helps immensely with not coming across as socially awkward.

>>83527 >This sounds immature and like you are unsure of your sexuality. It's odd how straightfoward and confident statements always illicits the same type of responses from people like you. >Art galleries and large conventions >toastmasters >events at your library >social event's [sic] like luncheons or dinners or holiday or theme galas I've done a few of these and they mostly attract old people or people on dates. I was in Toastmasters when I was a young student and I was the odd one out even then. I usually keep an eye on events in my area, but they're all geared towards retirees or kids. It would be nice to be able to go full retard and talk to anyone at any time like some people can, but it would be bothering them in most situations I feel.

>>83449 I'm sorry lain but it's over for you, go to a prostitute, your face is unattractive and no amount of lifting and skincare is going to fix it, plus you are balding. Nobody has the heart to tell you this because they fear you will either hurt yourself or others. There are ways to cope with loneliness, read the Dokkodo, you already have a hobby and some friends, just focus on that. I'm not trying to be mean spirited, you need this reality check or else you'll just keep getting into awkward situations, you really should start lifting though, it'll make you look more healthy.

>>83583 Thank you so much for being honest, you just saved me from a lifetime of embarassment. I figured I must look pretty icky, I mean I can't get a match on tinder despite swiping on everyone and puting the age bracket at 40-55. But people always give me this false hope that maybe I'm not that bad looking and just need to get out there, I fall for it everytime and suffering ensues. I can't really blame people for being polite though, I can't imagine myself telling anyone that they're ugly. I'll just try and keep focusing on my films and my friends with a positive attitude then. Also Dokkodo was a good read thanks for the recommendation, you got me curious about this Miyamoto Musashi guy so now I'm reading Vagabond, it's pretty good so far.

>>83589 >waits until someone comes and tells him what he wants to hear >thank you for being honest you're not that ugly man. Maybe you need to take better dating app fotos or something IDK. You probably just have the tism, like everyone here, and could get success in your modest desires if you just figured out a better strategy and behaved right. girls who are taken aren't necessarily 'off the market'. Your photo absolutely does not make you look like you're in your forties or fifties and anyone who tells you otherwise is a filthy liar.

>>83488 >Learn about the concept of tantric sex. Are you talking about Mantak Chia's books? >>83488 >Where are we supposed to find young women that aren't taken? School and uni (especially clubs) are the easiest. But if that's not possible, hobbies are the next best thing (how about learning a new language or something?). Work can be also suitable place to meet new people but it has it's downsides (especially if you aren't adept at reading social cues or if you have a breakup later). If you are looking for one-night stands, you should look into other dating apps. >>83583 >I'm sorry lain but it's over for you, That's not true! >your face is unattractive C'mon, he is really not really ugly! He looks pretty average but not ugly. >There are ways to cope with loneliness, read the Dokkodo, you already have a hobby and some friends, just focus on that. That's true. No one has obligation to be anyone's friend, wife, husband or lover.

>>83590 >you're not that ugly man. Maybe you need to take better dating app fotos or something IDK. The picture I posted in this thread is the best picture I have, there's also a heavy filter on it to hide my eyebags. Here's other pictures to prove my point, unedited this time, why do you want me to keep chasing something I obviously can't get? I mean cmon let's be realistic, even if women twice my age desperate enough to be on tinder don't want me, it's over. I don't need to be deluded into thinking I look average again, I've been through this enough times. >Your photo absolutely does not make you look like you're in your forties or fifties and anyone who tells you otherwise is a filthy liar. No one ever told me I look that old, the reason I'm looking for older women on tinder is because I'm too unattractive for women my age, things haven't been working out with older women either so, despite being against sex work, I guess I'll go see a prostitute once just to see what sex feels like. Sorry if I come across as rude, I truly don't mean it, english is not my native language and I am not in the best head space right now.

>>83592 >why do you want me to keep chasing something I obviously can't get I'm not saying you don't have problems, its just obviously not that you're horrendously ugly or something. I've seen ugly people, you're not one of them. Are you jaw droppingly, panty drenchingly handsome ? No, but whatever is preventing you from having any success is clearly not your appearance.

>>83592 you're not unattractive, just change your fvkcing haircut LOL

>>83592 I have hair just like that. In fact mine is probably worse. I'm not trying to be an incel but yeah you're kind of ugly. If anyone has actual beauty tips instead of comfort words I'd love to hear it. Try some mastic chewing gum and deep pore cleanser for a couple weeks it might help.

>>83609 can you open your eyes and read the previous message hes not fuarrrking ugly lol like literally you seem like a dumb b1tch to me destroying some random mans ability to assess reality correctly for fvcking nothing. for fvcks sake nigga as said before mans just needs a DIFFERENT HAIRCUT

>>83592 fml nigga someone get this man a normal haircut

>>83608 >>83610 >>83611 Shit guess I was being delusional, it's hard to get an honest opinion on stuff like this. Believe it or not this haircut is pretty new, is there anyway to guarantee I get a good haircut like with face shapes and stuff?

>Thread for finding solutions >Ugly incel can't get laid >"Just be yourself your not ugly get a haircut" >Go as far as to post multiple pictures of himself to get an honest opinion >Duh smile be nice get a haircut This thread is depressing and filled with false posivity, I have no advice to give to this lain besides giving up, if even old women don't want you it's over bro just find joy in something else. I mean you people realise if ugly lain actually believes you he''ll go through the same heartbreak as before, that's cruel

>>83592 Please give up on dating, for your own sake. If you want to have sex ever you are better off paying for it or going to a 3rd world country, seems like you are against human trafficking so is like kicking dead whales down the beach to be you I guess. I couldn't imagine never having loved or been loved by a significant other, never having sex or sleeping in the same bed as someone else, it must be horrible and I feel for you but if you keep trying you'll just keep getting rejected again and some friends or "kind" internet strangers might say you are not ugly but do not believe them, you'll just get sent to the loop of rejection once again, give up there's no other choice. I know that might sound harsh but I doubt you could even pull a 1/10 girl. I can tell you already went through a lot and I want to spare you the suffering, this might be tough to swallow but this is the truth. You are terribly unlucky to look like this, you sound like a sweet person, I truly hope you find happiness somehow.

No one should listen to this guy >>83782 >>83784 words of someone who hates seeing others succeed where they failed and gave up and do whatever to drag others down while giving themselves a pat on the back for doing so to get gratification of the illusion of success. That is such a weak thing to do. Bring yourself up instead.

My buddy went from fat woman-hating incel to fat (but also muscular) woman-disliking guy with a girlfriend. He used to look worse than the pics I've seen in this thread, he's also short and poor and used to spend most of his free time playing Dota 2. It took years of mostly escaping depression and finding his passions in life, but I met his gf a few weeks ago and she is great. When people give out these pieces of advice, it often comes from either personal experience or watching the lives of people close to you. From what I've seen, a lot of it is escaping depression or debilitating anxiety, not necessarily anything external. Bring a sadboi only works for guys with natural good looks and an innate sense of style.

>>83788 People do the "give up" thing for themselves, they post it as a reply but its in really just to reaffirm themselves its okay to do nothing about their current situation.

>>83782 Here's your 10 rubels, Dmitry. Now go buy some potatoes.

Lain with the soykafty haircut here, I decided to wear my earplugs with no music on the subway tonight so people don't notice I hear them, lots of drunk people, people laugh at me, and I've been called ugly twice. I'm starting to ask myself serious questions, I just got proof that I am so ugly that strangers laugh at me behind my back. Yet all of my friends, and people on the internet keep feeding me this lie that I am not ugly. Why do you do this? Why do you try to gaslight me into thinking that I am not ugly? Is it because you want to get me to be confident? Or because you want me to have hope that gets crushed again? Because that's what happened, I feel like I've been lied to. I'm genuinely confuses now.

Is there a cut that at least makes it so that people dont laugh at me or am I that fuarrrked? I just got out the subway my anxiety was suffocating, feels like I took a cold shower. Goddamn what a way to find out.

>>83803 your style is ugly but you can improve. Like going by >>83592 first one looks like lost cause nerd, second avg slav and third the tennis guy who knocked up a maid - best out of 3. If i saw you irl i would internally laugh at 1&2 too but 3 looks decent with the issue of balding. So what you gotta do is find someone to fix your hair as numerous people already said. Full bald likely would work for you but you can also try finding some decent hair style.

>>83805 wanna clarify so you understand: its funny because you screwing yourself for no reason by not fixing your look and you a good decade behind other people. I lost my nerd look in 6th grade when classmates pointed it out, most arguably fix their style as teenagers. Seeing someone handicap himself even as an adult is a ridiculous and that gets laughs. On the other hand you dont need to worry yourself over this for longterm friends & work. It doesnt matter to them. Shitty style is definitely not the worst thing. Fatties & smokers are way ahead of you in dumb soykaf department.

>>83807 https://youtu.be/2hSYFpRfric?si=aBWtTqMrbzmDN5wI Here's the thing, I have a friend that pointed out that my haircut is bad, then another friend pointed out that it is good, not to mention the reactions ITT. I get strangers laughing at me and calling me ugly on the subway, and yeah I'm ugly but is the hair really the problem here? I mean I look in the mirror and I'm like, even if I was drunk as soykaf I wouldn't laugh at someone for having this hair, I wouldn't even notice it, and considering I'm a norwood 3 I'm not sure any other hairstyle would fit me, also I know for a fact that going bald is not an option I would look creepy. I'm willing to post side profiles if necessary. This is an actual headache not to mention finding a good barber nowadays is a lifetime journey.

I am done with smoking drugs. From this moment on, my energy is going to be used for more creative purposes, such as this meme.

>>83821 Your hair will look better when it's longer. Try and see how it looks when it's 'half-long' (meaning that it covers your ears). Don't worry about losing hair, since that will only inrease the loss of your hair. And _DO NOT_ do hair implants: they will only make things worse.

I've tried to quit 4chan/youtube a number of times before, but I've always failed. So I ask myself: why can't I quit? What is it that I'm trying to get out of these sites? My answer is discovering things. I love nothing more than learning new things, and back in the day these sites used to be amazing tools for that. But thanks to algorithms and centralization it seems that we're all looking at the same stuff now, and there are no actual rabbit holes left online. More of the world is documented online than ever, but paradoxically the world feels much smaller than it did 10 or 20 years ago. In other words, I love to monkey-branch from topic to topic, whereas the modern web is about pigeonholing us into a tiny box. Ultimately, I think it's right to conclude the modern web just cannot offer us this. So my solution is to use books instead. I'll follow paper trails through citations in books and see where they lead. I might give an update here later on how this goes.

>>83952 Usually I descend into some sort of manic psychosis before leaving 4chan / internet bullshit for some months. Then a period of high stress will draw me back again.

>>83870 Me again. This failed pretty hard as I've smoked the weed again. Not really have a solution at hand for this at the moment.

>>83952 Same poster here, it's been one week. I'm glad to report I'm much happier. After not using 4chan/discord/steam/social media for 7 days, it's like things are slowly returning to how they felt before being chronically online. I'm not constantly exposed to trolls, to racism, to outrage bait and meaningless arguments. It's such a breath of fresh air. My outlook on people in general has slightly improved. The only problem is I now have all this energy and restlessness with nowhere concrete to put it, so I try to (awkwardly) channel that into art. But yeah. It's a big improvement

>>84054 So am I, regarding tvchan after threads I made on their video games board were affected by online trolls, leading me into chaos, mental illness and really low emotions. One time in May I did not go to my care farm after a mass attack from trolls pouring out horrible comments about me when I wanted them to be gone for good. I'm GLAD I left tvchan forever and stuck with you though; you are the best imageboard in the world. That's a really HUGE improvement. (Image spoilered for blood/mental illness though)

>>83821 >>83592 Maybe ask for something like this but more suited to your face shape?

>>84452 Went to the barber and asked for this. Did I get my soykaf fuarrrked again or am I good now?

>>85232 there's no haircut for you face sorry

>>85233 Shit what do I do? Should I shave it all and go bald?

>>85232 Don't go to a barber. >No hair is allowed to touch ears >No hair is allowed to be stray near ears >Put sideburn at a slightly upwards angle I discovered I like my sideburns tapered above my earline, but if you prefer a line, slope it upwards. Your sideburns do not need to match perfectly, forget even trying. >Taper sides of skull, fading upwards; Final fade setting should proceed all the way up the side of your skull, creating a vertical line from your cheek bone all the way up, destroy any hair that gets in the way of these 2 vertical lines, nothing else matters, just follow these guidelines and do literally everything else however you want, and don't put any more thought into it besides "Yeah that looks good." If you don't like it, cut it off, don't stress it. Starting from bald is actually a great way to groom into your natural hairstyle; How you're supposed to look, how your hair is supposed to fall.

>>85232 I think it works with you. Maybe style the fringe a bit more textured. I dont think it looks bad, it looks interesting for some reason and to me your face looks healthier than last time you posted though might be better lighting. I even deleted a post of mine to squeeze in a full thread so you can relax.