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That's probably a bit of an unusual topic. Does anyone here also struggle with late sexual initiation in their lives? I've been lonely for the most part of my life, up until early 30s due to a multitude of reasons. For more context: i am a late-transitioning trans woman (i do actually pass and that's by standards of a pretty conservative central european country) At school i struggled with impeded social skills and i was a moderately attractive person at that time (in my opinion) - by either masculine or feminine standards of beauty. I had a very little internal sense of gender back then and felt pretty much like a genderless entity, although my environment treated me like a dude, obviously. Due to my general emasculation i was often badly mistreated and abused by male peers. It was a small, provincial school, full of people with very conservative and narrow mindsets. Girls were pretty traditional there and weren't interested in me, plus it was generally expected that i should initiate things, as a "man", while i was never the type to do so. Later in life i have become extremely secluded and never completed any education beyond HS. This of course left a huge negative impact on my social life and skills. With the life context out of the way - fast forward to 2023. I managed to slowly improve my life, been making friends, my communication and social skills have become pretty average and normal, I'm not ridden by much anxiety. But everytime my friends or even someone close to me tells their stories of their love life as teens and 20s become very triggered and depressed because it makes me feel like an alien. It makes me feel like i lost a lot of normal teenage experience, and that time cannot be regained. It simply makes me feel worse. At some point i used to think i was fine without it, being alone. But transition has changed my mind 180°. It has occurred to me that i didn't want relationships back then that much because i didn't like the prospect of playing the role of a man in them But in retrospect, why am i so bitter about it? Does anyone relate? What do you think? Ps. I've been obsessively searching for related topics on the internet and checking statistics. I am now interested in any scientific research about late sexual initiation and its negative mental effects. So far I've been mostly finding stuff about early initiation which is the opposite of what i want. I'd be grateful for any interesting links, Lainons Peace

>>74807 teen love is like kicking dead whales down the beach for pretty much everybody. i had my first girlfriend when i was 18 and it was a complete fuarrrking disaster, so i'm willing to bet that you probably didn't miss out meeting your potential husband or wife, if that's something that matters to you. you said yourself that you didn't want to be in a relationship back then. you shouldn't doubt yourself. you didn't want one, you probably weren't ready for one, and it almost definitely would've ended badly. experiences like that are "normal", but it clearly wasn't the right time. i guess what my point is that you shouldn't feel bad about it. you weren't ready then, but you ARE ready now, so you're exactly where you're supposed to be. i will say, though, that even though my first relationship was so bad, i really am grateful for all the things it taught me. that knowledge honestly means more to me than any of the happy memories i had with her. so, anyone you date right now is probably going to have some experience. if i were you, that'd probably be the only thing i really worried about.

Yes, very much so. I'm also a somewhat late transitioning trans women and I'm happy to know I'm not the only person to experience this weird mix of emotions. I felt too distanced from girls and hated coming across as 'the guy' when approaching them. I also had too much internalized homophobia to do anything with guys. I only got into my first relationship this year at 27. My partner is awesome and I love them but it hurt knowing that they've been in a ton of relationships before and had a good amount of casual sex with guys. I honestly don't care I'm not shaming them and they said they only did a lot of that cause they were silly and dealing with their own guy attraction issues. But like, I missed that. I was too scared and hated myself and how I presented too much to put myself out there. And looking back I know I made the right decision, casual sex is dangerous and unfulfilling (no shame though) but like I was too scared to even make bad decisions. I remember looking at the personals on craigslist when I was 20 like they did but I chickened out. I'm happy where I am now but I feel so sexually inadequate. Its was all probably for the best I actually feel comfortable with myself now but god I'm slowly picking up the pieces of my empty life and it hurts. It's a ldr and I'll be seeing them soonish but its going to be so awkward when we eventually do it. I'm glad I found this post. love love

Just date homosexual men. Seriously, that's a no brainer.

>>74807 >i do actually pass and that's by standards of a pretty conservative central european country Most conservatives are closet homosexuals so they're going to want to fuarrrk you regardless. I'm still working on my time machine but in the meantime, forget about the past, There's nothing you can do about it. It's pointless. Move on and focus on things you can actually do something about.

I thought we had this thread a few weeks ago. I kinda assumed OP deleted it after he got bullied a bit, idk tho. Welcome back op, in either case. my advice is quit now if you still can. Otherwise either accept your eunuch status or KYS. Like we said earlier 30 is a bit late but men frequently marry and such things later than women; 30 is late but not unheard of. If you're yet a man then get yourself a wife and forget about this unfortunate episode in your life, I have confidence in you! If you're a eunuch then idk why you care. Unfortunate to only gain interest once it has become irrelevant. This is itself an interesting problem. How is your relation with your family ?

i recognize this post, why'd you kill another thread for this. you don't necessarily miss out on great experiences by not dating when you're young, but you will lack experience, you need to try things and make mistakes when you're young and the ramifications of them are less important so you don't have to make them later in life

>>74807 Sounds like you have FOMO.