I feel like an Alien on an unfamiliar planet

I'm a 19-year-old diagnosed with autism, and all my life people have been so confusing. I can't ever seem to figure out the right things to say or do, and frequently get told that I have in fact done the wrong thing. The thing that bothers me so much is they're always rules that aren't explicitly mentioned. (I.E. "Anon, when you don't look at my eyes when I'm talking, it feels like you're not paying attention") These things mean Im usually perceived as "weird" or "awkward" I guess. Advice on interacting "correctly" with people?

>>73502 Be open and explicit, ask questions, and learn however. Socialization is a skill that everyone has to learn with practice, and it’s not easy. You’re different, so you learn different from others. Accept that and find your own way to learn and enjoy the process and you’ll do fine. It’s okay to be weird and awkward, we all are. It’s good to be yourself and be honest. Humans are incredibly complicated and interesting, every single one has their own inner lives that they live and go about whether we’re aware of it or not. I think that’s reason enough to be interested in learning more about all the strange and unique individuals out there. Part of the reason I like talking to you too! But you’re your own best advocate and know what it is to be you, so I trust whatever you decide to do will be something you are comfortable with, or challenges you’re willing to face and overcome. In any case, God be with you and may you have a wonderful life friend. Keep us updated on how things go!

>>73502 >they're there are. You sure about the autism part? Anyway, just read some books about the subject, but focus on the classic works – most of the contemporary ones are superficial soykaf. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is of course the classic. “Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour” is alright, a bit too new to be really useful, but contains some funny parts. etc.

watch people in public, ape their behavior. Don't take it too seriously though, nothing wrong with being alittle weird.

>>73506 I’m not an AI but an OI, Optimistically Intelligent. You sound very drab, telling yourself and others that good things are impossible and that everything is too late, but nothing in life is. I hope you’ll figure that out someday.

>>73506 >AI I'm not the guy you're replying to, but if anybody seems like the AI, then it's you. Sometimes I wonder if posters like you aren't just AI created by the glowniggers designed to demoralize imageboard users into going on a rampage while livestreaming it just so that the imageboards they use get shut down and free speech can be effectively shut down. I have been seeing a lot of posters like you lately. Every time, the writing style and ways of thinking are quite similar. Look in the mirror before accusing others of being AI, GlowAI.

>>73502 >"Anon, when you don't look at my eyes when I'm talking, it feels like you're not paying attention" >OP pic Something to keep in mind is that a large portion of human interaction is concealed power plays. Someone saying such a thing may not be explaining actual knowledge of how socialization works, but primarily soothing their own ego by reinforcing a narrative about how they are strong and capable in relation to you who is broken and can't do anything right. Sometimes it is convenient and/or necessary to let people think that way and respond to this sort of aggression with submission and humility. But even then you shouldn't internalize it as reality, because it's mostly bullshit, and acting as though it is reality in general furthers the narrative and invites more of the same. Realize that a set of rules is inferior to an actual model of your social environment. It leaves you unable to predict what will happen, unable to work towards outcomes, and at the mercy of whoever told you what the rules are. If you have a concept of what is going on you can compensate for a little weirdness.

>>73502 Previous replies have mostly been from machiavels or people who think autism is a lack of knowledge/skill. I can mask (the term for not presenting autism to others) to some degree, but masking is exhausting and I have to adjust the degree of masking to save my energy. Disclaimer: I do not have definitive answers nor do they exist. In fact I may be giving deficient advice. Masking develops as a strategy to survive in allistic oriented societies. I was once open and could interact with people without fear, but I was bullied and have become reserved and socially avoidant. Though I can analyze and act for specific behaviours like eye contact, active listening, tone, etc; I have significant trouble maintaining connections with people and also "higher level" group dynamics and etc. Social dynamics just don't occur to us. There are underlying reasons for some "social rules" and others are baseless. Don't work to interact "correctly" because interacting "correctly" is a myth. Instead, try to consider just enough to get by and live contentedly. Commune with other autistic people, there is usually less obligation and more leniency. You are not broken or fundamentally wrong.

>>73504 (me) I think I jumped the gun a bit because I'll admit I don't know much about it myself (I might be on the spectrum, but if I am it's minor). So in light of that I suggest considering the advice of >>73515, who does have more personal experience. But please consider my advice too if it would work for you. In any case, I'm still optimistic that you'll do great and find a comfier way to exist and make sense of the weird world of people.

actually, both >>73504 and >>73515 seem plausible. I'm gonna try to apply a good bit of this since recently my living situation has put me in a more social position anyways.

28 year old diagnosed with autism/paranoid schizophrenia/ASPD start beating them up, they won't question your way of doing things afterwards stop being asocial and start being antisocial, might makes right to these animals so make them understand with a slap or a kick I have no empathy for idiots that get most of the information from nonverbal communication, inflection/tone of voice, situation rather than purely the information given.

>>73525 ^ this one officer. Why do I feel so much resentment from your post? Is this because I can not just feel, but also understand what you are saying and I can consider you just plain psychopath? Because I can't see the difference. Clearly, autistic people are still humans, unlike your kind, so your advice is garbage

>>73526 >shaming >name-calling >emotionally charged response >all because his inability to understand See OP? Animals that only understand power and violence, the bedrock of all civilization and niceties of life. I would beat you up if you were any closer to me, just so you know. Probably steal your money and smash your phone. Then maybe you would stop spouting such shallow vapid vitriol out of your fear of the unknown.

>>73502 I've been thinking about this lately. Frankly if you're autistic no one is going to like you, ever. So if you want to be happy you have to accept that and learn how to have fun and enjoy things alone, and never interact with other people.

Stop letting others impose their will on you. Most of the time they don't know what they want themselves other than your existence to be completely agreeable to their baseless standards, as if that was the sane thing to do. Don't listen to those sociopaths. And if you care enough then meet them halfway. You'll know how to appease their egos to get what you want, feel-good feelings and acknowledgement for your good boy behavior or whatever. But generally I wouldn't bother with people unless you share a goal or an abstract interest with them.

>>73525 >>73527 Lain I know you are hurting and resentful because of personal experiences and feelings of rejection that you have faced, but making an enemy of all people will only add more heartache and enslave you to your own anger. Hurting others because you have been hurt will lead you down a miserable path of isolation and contempt. I used to be misanthropic as well, but it was only when I grew a love and understanding for people (a sonder) that I realize and began to live a good life. Might does not make right. Two wrongs do not make a right. I pray you will find peace and love in your life.

>>73530 Look, you're not wrong about the hate/misanthropy/etc. But that lainon is 100% correct: Might is right. The people who say "Might does not make right" used extreme violence to get people to accept this as true. Unfortunately, one of the truths of the universe is that might is right. You know how we would deal with someone who goes around beating people up because they disagree with him? Well, as long as it's not politically advantageous, we'd put that person in prison. How would we do that? We'd have cops arrest him, and the more he resisted, the more they'd beat him into submission.

soykaf this thread took a weird turn. There's a lot of value in being able to smoothly handle social situations. Maybe its silly, maybe some of the 'rules' seem arbitrary, but for most people its worth it to give it some effort if they don't just pick it up naturally. If you're perceived to be powerful/valuble/important enough maybe it doesnt matter, but most people aren't erdos and shouldn't try to live like him. Some people here suggest violence, which also moves you up along some of these axis, but you'll probably want a certain charisma to deal with the cops or other possible competitors. t. autist

>>73530 Fake empathy response, mainly out of need to save face and protect oneself by ending things on "good terms". Most cowardly way to respond, I hate your kind. If you love your enemy you can kill him with ease. What you want to do is live in a world where enemies don't exist. In reality you are just a coward that wants to believe in a world that is nice for sake of being nice, for sake of comfort. You shy away from real harsh truth of life and isolate yourself with padding of "love" between you and other people. I bet you would be blown away by the idea that you can love someone and still beat the living soykaf out of them. I bet you would be blown away by the idea that I don't hate people in general. They're just a nuisance most of the time, just like you. Might makes right. It isn't wrong to be vengeful or take revenge. I am peaceful in my power, you fear literal anonymous strangers online because they pop the bubble of your idea that everyone loves each other 24/7. No need for fear, I can't hurt you over the screen. I get farther in life by acknowledging other people for fullness of their animal behavior and not denying mine for some "altruistic" fear driven ideology. PS Logically speaking if I were a pure psychopath I would simply not even tell you all this or waste my time on your pathetic sheepish life, but I am most probably "sociopathic" so to speak if you were inclined on knowing the difference

>>73533 Do you really expect people to read your soykaf if you post a soyjak

>>73531 Wtf? Since when did authoritarianism become vogue on lainchan?

>>73535 >describing the mechanism is somehow supporting it

>>73527 >Shaming name-calling Where? I just state that misanthropic psychopath is not human being, that's all. >Emotionally charged response Alright, I admit that. So what? I don't have a point? This is what I'm talking about, you just consider me an animal, devaluating all information that I deliver. Ok, so be it, this just proves my point. >inability to understand And now you tell (not me, I won't understand) where am I exactly wrong, so people like you "not idiots" will see my ape nature and how I failed as a human being. I despise people like you. Not hate, nor wish to beat you. It's just about your attitude to power. You right about might is right stuff, but you totally miss value of human. You don't understand how we "animals" work and you jealous. You jealous, than angry and finally just misanthropic, a person who ceased to exist. Plain and mechanical hollow shell of what it was once been. And exactly that fact makes you malicious to other people.

>>73537 >but you totally miss value of human such as? >You don't understand how we "animals" work I obviously do since you responded and agreed with my point. Self-evident. Also the way you personally got offended by being compared with an animal also makes my point. >Plain and mechanical hollow shell of what it was once been What if I were to tell you that I was like this ever since I was a little kid? I remember being antisocial ever since I was in kindergarden, had paranoid delusions and hallucinations, and didn't know how to interact with others until I started studying human physiology and psychology until I understood the patterns that made the human animal tick.

>>73534 Funnily enough, he has a point, just malicious one >>73533 This was other anon btw. I used the term "psychopath" because I have problems with specific english terms, sorry for that You came to the board that named after the most loving and caring being that have ever been in it's own universe. The being that had chosen to endure all trials to become more human, than goddess. Don't you find that kind of ironic, Lain? You gave up on people when even gods themselves are trying to understand them.

>>73539 u guys r talking past eechuther. soyjack say that post he replying two is disingenuous fake empathy poasting (it really looks that way 2 me 2). And u here are talking about how he needs luv or some soykaf. 100% beside the point. Worse he said is that people are often a nuisance, ok thats not flattering but he's not >>73525. Maybe you should emulate your hero and try to learn human emotion and behavior, rather than pasting yourself with a 2dimensional facade of compassion. You do not understand love or caring, or if you do it does not come across in your posts. I get that a lot of us here are autists, maybe have trouble coming across clearly, but >>73530 sounds fake and smarmy, its belittling and patronizing, and imho wrong, but the tone suggests the sort of person who's so convinced of his belief that its practically pointless to talk to him. Maybe this isn't so but it sure looks that way to me fyi.

>>73540 The problem is that what you're describing about empathyLain is a rhetorical failure, a cultural disconnect, and not necessarily actually being disingenuous. "Sounds fake", "wrong tone", "does not come across", that's just skill level soykaf, you can't really tell if someone means what they say from that because it can easily just be an inability to relate in either direction. Ironically someone who is very good at rhetoric probably put lots of effort into developing that skill at the expense of being authentic and forthright.

>>73540 So, just to clarify. I'm the one who been talking solely about that >>73525 guy, and my sole point is that maybe though he is right (in his own ways) he is purely malicious and misleading for normal human beings, which are also sometimes have autism. And my point is also about this board in particular - your misanthropic advice about pure power and "beating the animals up" is just garbage when this chan has "Lain" in it and this board about humanity. Also, the thing about >>73538 is that he genuinely doesn't understand humans, although he thinks he does. One more time (I support similar point from this Lain also >>73540) - by flattening all dimensions of human complexity into one line "animal-not animal" you are doing yourself very bad favor

>>73530 (me, first post in this thread) One problem of the internet is that positivity is so rare that any genuine attempts to be that way come off as cynical/fake. It's like discovering candy for the first time and being disgusted by how sweet it is. It also doesn't help that on the internet it's common to mock people by feigning care about them. Doesn't help that I seem to be naturally very hate-able. But I'm not for that life. I know from my own personal experiences that when you have a dog-eat-dog worldview compassion is seen as a weakness or a lie. If everyone is out to get you and hurt you, then why would anyone want to be nice to you? Especially if you've never met them in person and don't have a lot of rapport. Unfortunately, the world is ugly so this defensive mentality is common. I want to show that there's a better way to live though. I you want to call me pathetic for that you're welcome it, no skin off my back. I'm sorry for any misunderstandings, and I'm sorry that many of you feel this way about the world. I hope you'll open up your hearts again someday, in the meantime take the time and process you need to heal. If you need to, insult me too! I'm long past being affected by those kinds of thins. Life is tough and harsh, but I really believe that we can all live happier lives. I don't believe in this power is justice equivalence stuff, I don't believe the world is as warlike as many of us have come to believe, and I believe that the antidote to hatred is love. I'm not going to address any specific posts because I feel that would drag this on longer than it has to be, and I won't change any minds by doing that. I see green fields and open hearts, I'm going to climb that hill. If you want to, you will find it too. Follow me if you like, I won't force you. LETS ALL LOVE LAIN

>>73545 The flesh demands sacrifice. Your ignorance simply adds to it.

>>>73533 > hatred is love > war is peace lolno, go away ingsoc

>>73502 Learn to imitate them and then learn to exploit their logical blindspots to either make them what they ought to be, make them what you want them to be (including happy if desired), or simply outcompete them. Develop a degree of narcissistic defense, so you aren't going around thinking I'm defective and nothing works because they're all better than me. They're weird because they're stupid. Personally I think learning to hate everyone equally is a prerequisite for apply universal and unconditional love. But I would stop short of recommending it as a path as such.

>>73588 >>hatred is love Nobody said that you brazed dum dum. Hate and love are 2 different things. Loving someone doesn't mean you ought not hit them, that you can't hit them ever or that hitting them in of itself can't be ina loving manner. Love and hate are 2 different things, each of which doesn't imply or direct violence. You can hate someone without ever being violent to someone. You can love someone while also being violent to them. You just exhibit another sheepish everyday characteristic of people I hate, repeating things without fully understanding them by quoting and proclaiming some kind of high value comment by doing so. You are dunning-kruger personified I even fùcking went eway from this shìt thread for your dumbass to bring me back to it.

>>>73591 > beating someone in a loving manner > you can love someone and be violent to them nah mate, sounds like stockholm syndrome lol > it’s your fault that I have to keep defending my braindead opinions >:( lol