I apologize in advance for the lengthy post, but please bear with me, as I wish to present myself honestly at my own expense. This is not meant to be a meta post, and I am posting this here in earnest hope that others can relate, and to hopefully generate a stimulating discussion.
I am addicted to debating. When I can't find someone to debate I will start to take up contrarian opinions and play devils advocate in discussions I have little to no personal investment in. It's causing strain in my personal relationships, but have no desire to stop. Just this morning I started and ended 5 separate arguments with reddit pseuds and got to argue with a racist discord user for about 20 minutes before they were derezzed by hamfisted mods. The last time I found a good discord server to debate in, I was derezzed for being a heretic (I called Jesus a twink). I have confessed this to friends and they'll often offer to argue about inconsequential things like food preferences, but it's not enough.
I unironically need to flame and humiliate psuedo-intellectuals in public forums, and find genuinely principled and intelligent people to debate before I cause damage to my personal relationships trying to get a fix. Reddit doesn't cut it, their opinions are shallow and boring and comment threads get too buried. There is no one there to bear witness.
If it wasn't already obvious, I am severely ADHD, which also means I struggle to maintain focus in IRL discussions and I prefer having time to construct responses through writing to trying to rapid fire a well thought out response in normal conversation. I do not find verbal debate to satisfy me.
I genuinely believe having earnest discourse with people who are often ignored for having differing opinions leads to positive outcomes, though the discourse itself may be fraught and make people uncomfortable to the point that it is not allowed in most online public forums and find it quite frustrating when internet moderators stop these discussions short instead of allowing the truth to prevail, if it is present. Is there any place for me? Does a Valhalla exist for someone like me?