Unable to stop thinking about failure / paralyzed by fear

Hey lainchan. I need advice. So, I am a grad school student, I have had some bad circumstances recently that resulted in me getting fairly fuarrrked up psychologically (lost my father, financial issues). I have a few good months to finish my project and graduate, but I find myself having immense trouble in getting work (writing) done. Whenever I sit down to do stuff, I am immediately overwhelmed by dread and fear that I am not going to make it and all my effort will be in vain. I can make some progress, but as I notice that I am slow, I only become more anxious and even less efficient to the point where I come close to having a breakdown, I am shaking and breathing heavily as I write this. I don't know what to do, I am seeing a therapist but she hasn't seen me like this. She listened to me and did advise me to take breaks and go outside but that doesn't help. How do I deal with this? I have been depressed for a very long time but never this anxious or unable to produce. I didn't want to resort to drugs but what else can I do?

For me the best thing for performing under pressure and overcoming worries pulling my focus away from what has to be done is meditation and writing down plans. Break down the tasks you have to accomplish in a document, meditate for 20-40 minutes, then work for multiple hours going through your list. This works because success at cognitive tasks is about focused attention and making space for thoughts, and less about personal qualities. Meditation can temporarily boost your ability to purposely direct attention, have more mental space, and not have your attention pulled away by self-fulfilling worries. I found it works really really well at first, but loses effectiveness over time as the anxiety bled into my meditation which couldn't cut through it as well anymore. I don't think it's ultimately healthy to use meditation this way. For something important you have to do once over several months though, it should work great. Also, keep doing what your therapist said, exercise, eat well, and make sure you get sufficient sleep.

You may feel like no one understands the depth of your suffering. And sometimes the suffering may become too familiar that it will seem impossible to let go. Hang on and don't give up. Even when you feel alone, don't ever give up. One day you'll wake up and this will all be a dim memory.

>>72307 Life is an interesting thing, lainon. If you have a few months, you need to calculate how many hours of work you still need to put in to finish. Probably if you do only 2-3 h a day you'll manage. As long as you put them in everything will be fine. Don't Forse you to work longer nor force yourself if today you just can't. As long as you don't skip 2 days in a row you'll be fine. Try to move on. A few month is a lot of time. Try to live. Have new experiences, try going where you haven't gone before in any way possible, physically and mentally. I'm sure that all of the people who care for you would want that even if they find it hard to express. Perhaps try helping others? It sounds strange, but I personally find solace in helping others when I can't help myself. It heals the soul a little to see that you actually made someone's life better. Perhaps it also provides perspective and helps you see that you're not the only one struggling and that it will pass and can be managed with help. Just food for thought.

i think what happens is you get stuck in a fear loop because you want to solve the problem of a uncertain outcome that you perceive as a threat right now but that has no solution. So you keep spinning around it. Literally just need to take a step back and examine can you fix it? No? Then stop giving a fuarrrk and focus where you can. Just focus on the work and stop thinking about the outcome. It doesn't matter because obsessing wont change anything.