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So how does one cover an 8 years gap between uni and the current date in a resumé? I imagine that saying "I NEETed for 8 years because of mental health and vidya addiction" wouldnt bode well for job prospects...

>>69036 It's like watching the quality drop in real time... Oh well. Do you at least remember anything from uni? I would probably just be honest with them and, if I remembered, display that I still know what I learned.

Always heard 2 years no job = same as no degree/xp. The counter is portfolio with recent work. Pretty easy&obvious as an artist, IT guys similar can make a github0 to show off their work. No idea what you would do with a degree in chemistry etc. though.

I'm in a similar situation. I'm countering it by doing projects, some I can show, others I can talk about - like learning a new programming language. I think the most important thing is not to count yourself out because of your gap - if you're applying entry-level, someone will take you. You might not hear back from 95% of the jobs you apply to but it doesn't matter, sooner or later someone will give you a chance. That and do whatever you can to brush up so you're prepared for the interview. When you get a chance, you have to crush it.

Just make soykaf up. They usually don't bother checking anything on a resume, and if they do they usually on chase up the most recent entry. So just full it up with fake stuff and make sure you have someone to vouch for your last entry, ask a family member with a business or someone you know to back you up.

You could just say you worked at Twitter the last 8 years. The fact that the one guy had to ask Elon on twitter if he got fired is a sign that they have no HR department that would verify employment. You could also just put that you were a full time UBER driver, that's what I do with gaps in my resume.

Thank you, lains. I will bullshit around and pretend that I did lots of small jobs. I want to get a wage just to get my family off my back.

>>69036 >Yes, mister, I have intentionally left that part on my life behind me and I must add, I will not talk about it, but whatever I did I can assure you my criminal record is still clean and the people I was with won't be a problem to you.

>>69072 that's actually a pretty assuring answer.

>>69071 >I will bullshit around and pretend that I did lots of small jobs. Or just say that you traveled around and did personal projects/studied on your own.

>>69075 >Or just say that you traveled around and did personal projects/studied on your own. oh, where did you travel, anon ? projects you say, anything you're proud of ?

>>69076 >oh, where did you travel, anon ? >projects you say, anything you're proud of ? Obviously he has between now and his first interview to actually do those things. >>69072 You could just say I'm not allowed to talk about it and strongly imply it was government soykaf. >>69076 is right though really, whatever single thing you say you were doing you obviously don't have 8 years worth of memories and experiences to convincingly lie about it. >>69071 >pretend that I did lots of small jobs I might go with a scattergun approach i.e. smalls jobs and traveling and volunteering and learning stuff and working on projects etc. And then make sure you can say a small amount about each one. You don't have to lie about 8 years worth of stuff when you break it down into small enough things. The interview will end eventually.

>>69036 Handyman. Odd jobs, etc.

>>69077 >You could just say I'm not allowed to talk about it and strongly imply it was government soykaf. The correct way of stating that is "while I would like to discuss the details of what I did during that time, much of that remains under the protection of a non-disclosure agreement, and I would prefer not to venture too far."

>strongly imply it was government soykaf. this is terrifically dumb at least in america. you'll have refferences and soykaf for that, even if they can't talk about any specifics. And why isnt your clearance mentioned on your resume. Those things are pretty handy and employers in certain areas are very interested in getting people with clearances. frankly if you had one, why aren't you applying to those places. saying 'its secret i werked 4 dee gibberment' is the dumbest idea of all. better to say you worked on a friends startup project or something, can't say the details but it used a lot of <language a> <language b> and <framework x> or whatever. Get your friend to give you a refference while you're at it lol.

I had to sign an NDA. All jokes aside you might need to take a job in something incredibly stupid for a year or even half a year. Something way below what you are capable of. Not so much to even display experience working at all long term (thats a bonus though) just so you know what employers care about and get so tired of it you will do anything to get that better position including bullshitting that you might think wont work right now. It will be worth a try after some time working. You will do anything and realize you are a lot more crafty than you think. You just need to see whats ahead of you if you dont utilize that. Thats how I see it at least, or thats my way. Its easier for me to force my brain into new modes by way of commitments and pressure than it is to just "push through". Im not a willpower person, I change things around me and then I know myself enough to know what it will make me do. Ive never willed myself to do anything, not quitting drugs not working up into better jobs and positions I like. Im firmly against willing your way through, and all things considered even though I have moments where I think its all falling apart when I look at people who have some kind of oh on my grind willpower type mindset it looks like are running in circles and inevitably always fail. maybe some succeed, just like some are millionaires. Most though, everyone thinks they all got to their place through some magic, it will especially sound like that to us who overthink everything. They scrambled around on their hands and knees working their way up through sheer will of force, whatever that means. But really they didnt, they sent out a bunch of job applications not even thinking if they could do it (if they did think they couldnt that thought is entirely why they think they really worked hard). They got one and their brain took care of the rest off a few axioms or pressures of "I need to show up to work" and that was where the work was. The works all in convincing yourself or others convincing you, you have to do something. not doing it will make things worse for you than they are now. Thats not willpower thats a kind of mental flexibility, its something none of these people who will convince you your 8 years spent not working is why you will never be like them who spent the last 8 years working. You convince yourself not having a job is death and you will naturally start sending out applications today to literally any job at all with personalized cover letters. If its fast food you say you love cooking and it brings you inherent joy simply to be at the stove. If its working with caring for elders or people with disabilities you talk about how your family has a history of jobs providing care and you in your 8 years have been a huge support system for friends even in the most stressful moments and times, and how its just an obligation you feel to people . If its working with animals you talk about how you were always on call to dogsit and walk your friends and neighbors animals and have even corrected behaviours the owners never knew about while watching them you will have something in a month at most and then after some time you will be good at it even though you had no interest at all and once you acclimate to it you send even more jobs on your free time for just a bit a day. When you get one you tell them you can start in two-three weeks and give your two weeks notice at your old job so you can still get a reccomendation and say its just not for you as the reason. This all sounds like a lot of work but it isnt, the only work you need to do is convince yourself to continue living as you do is death, and all im saying youd realize on your own. And then your doing things your way, half as stressed as people wondering how you suddenly got a job and are doing great at it after 8 years of not working. But this time you can tell them it was easy instead of moaning about work all day. You can tell them you just saw it as the only option and your brain took care of the rest. Cause you spent 8 years letting your brain do what it wants instead of fighting against it so its an expert at it and all you have to do is set some parameters. Convince yourself you will go to eternal hellfire if you dont work if you have to and I guarantee those 8 years wont feel so wasted as what seems like the impossible your brain just does naturally for you.

>>69103 for the record and in summation reading this i think someone could get the misunderstanding its about some neet like vengeance. Its not that, its about a certain mindset I and a lot of people are fed and repeat that I think is the product of people who have done well for themselves or even worse are simply doing well in a moment and are soon to collapse, where they look back and take credit for every moment they were just living how they could all like some kind of magician. Like it was all intentional and crafted. Like they got where they are in this moment due to everything they had done previously, in an effort to convince themselves it was all worth it. Instead of accepting they were just living no better or worse than anyone. That it was you in fact unlike them who got to where you are by chance, how could you who spent your years doing drugs or being a neet or whatever be in the same spot of them. As a result so many feel they are doomed cause they didnt follow some magic life formula, when it really just doesnt matter at all. Theres people who spent 20 years working hard and romanticizing their life like this who have to now beat down some guy who got their all the same in just a few years to validate themselves. And that other guy didnt have some secret knowledge either and is sitting there with imposter syndrome to validate themselves. Neither is right.

>>69103 >>69104 listen to this lainon seriously good fuarrrking posts

>>69104 You are simply persistent. Someone with strong will will do things very similar, either by an overwhelming desire to succeed, or an exceptional fear of failure. Both of these are not wrong, and are valid forms of motivation. Really they are just a means to an end to find meaning. If you are cold and hungry you want creature comforts, if you have those you want friends and influence, if you have those you want a sense of personal purpose in existing. As far as talking about your past, if it comes up, you can always say you were unemployed due to personal or family obligations. This gives the impression circumstances were not entirely within your control. You are going to need to take an introductory job to get experience, but most of those require no experience anyway. Do it for a year without getting fired and then look elsewhere when you can say your skills learned at your previous job meet the requirements of the new job and keep doing that like leveling up.

>>69103 >>69104 >>69108 Extremely wise and enlightened posts, lain. Thank you.

>>69039 Is this seriously how the degenerates in HR view it?

>>69141 Is it really wrong? You forget everything you dont use. 5 years past graduating high school i cant remember anything latin and i used to read texts fluently at graduation. Honestly i've been asking mates about stuff from last semester and they already don't remember a lot because they only care to remember while writing the test and once the grades are out in the trash it goes.

Best answers so far: Reintegrate the job market by applying to a job well below your skill. Look for another one once you are confident being with coworkers. >I did jobs under the table The guy who will talk to you don't really care which product you have done but he do care about your skills. He will have to decide if he give you a wage after all. "I moved crates all day" is fine. "I helped my uncle who have a farm" will work. If you can talk a minute about farmwork, obviously. >I worked for a startup and signed a NDA He will ask you the name of the startup, what happened to it, your place in it, your role on its development. Do your homework and find a recently bankrupt startup. Invent a full story and make it look real. >I left that part of my life behind me and I don't want to talk about it It's fine if you can still say which skill you developed. "the only thing I did was to move things from point A to point B and I don't want to do it again, I want a real job" is an acceptable answer. >It's super secret I was spy doing blackwater jobs for the gumbnment No one will fall for it. Not even if you looked like someone who could do that sort of job.

>>69174 Starting off with a labyrinth of lies.

>>69174 >find a recently bankrupted startup, research, do your homework and make a plausible account of your time there I dont think this is neccisary. There's a lot of startups, and the threshold for being a REAL STARTUP is extremely low. Its not insane to spend at least a few months to a year concievably working on product demos&prototypes&soykaf without being a real company or getting much money or having anything at all thats not purely 100% investor facing. If you were working for your friend, maybe semi unofficially, while trying to get investor money, the only real way for prospective employers to check this is ask your friend, even if you are being honest. Dont overcomplicate things. This can't cover a whole 8 years but it could put a little filler in.

my brain just doesnt work this way. i cant lie on a resume. i cant go and put a ton of work into trying to find jobs. i cant fake enthusiasm. im not built like that. nobody wants to hire me. at this point im already starving but theres nothing out there. everyone says they're hiring but they're not. this entire thing is a lie. and im not the kind of person who can compete with this. at this rate im going to be homeless on the street. none of this conventional advice givein in this thread helps. I have no degree nothing. these places want me to provide a highschool transcript? i cant fuarrrking do that. i dont know how that stuff works. i cant do any physical labor i am so weak that i nearly pass out multiple times a day just walking around my tiny dwelling. but non-physical labor demands ridiculous qualifications i go to a job office and they have zero fuarrrking desire to help me. i dont know if its a race thing or what. but i just get strong armed and shouted down until im just quiet. they all require me to provide things i dont have or make me jump through a lot of hoops that i cant jump through. i think people with more forceful personalities have an easier time but im just not that guy.

>>69174 >He will ask you the name of the startup, what happened to it, your place in it, your role on its development. Do your homework and find a recently bankrupt startup. Invent a full story and make it look real. I signed an NDA.