help a nigga out

I can't think of a better board for this so I'll post here. I have developed a sudden and overwhelming urge to kill my flatmates. Not in a fleeting, abstract way. I have started to obsess over it, to the point that it keeps me awake and distracts me from anything that I try and do; I can't focus at work. I don't enjoy the things that I used to. I cannot seem relax at all. There have been times when I've been in the middle of something and become frozen on the spot for several minutes or more, running scenarios through my head thinking about what and how and where and when. I'm starting to tingle just typing this all out, trying to envisage how it would feel. I have a terrible hunch that it wouldn't make me feel anything at all. I have no reason to want to kill them. On the contrary, I am actually very close to them - they make me feel comfortable and at ease in a way that I haven't found with any other people, both as a group and as individuals. I confide in them and I enjoy their company, though I get the impression that I am much more fond of them than they are of me. I have never been violent towards anyone, but I've always had very unpredictable emotions and have recently started to behave impulsively. Browsing things on the internet that I shouldn't. Self harm. Heroin. None of it means anything to me. I don't really think I'm at risk of killing them, but it would be so easy. I wouldn't even bother trying to get away with it, I'd just do it. I want this to stop. Advice would be appreciated. sorry if this post is a bit edgy but I'm being serious

What methods are you imagining. If it's something that would be out of a mystery novel, you probably just have an active imagination. Find a way to do something creative like drawing, writing, or designing something. If it's something trivial, you need to reset yourself. Whether that can best be done by meditation, going outside, or finding a new hobby you would probably know best on how to do that.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the%20call%20of%20the%20void just dont get hung up on it

>>6858 >L'appel du vide this is true You might be suffering from some undiagnosed mental disorder. I strongly recommend consulting a doctor since you might be a risk to yourself or others.

>>6858 >call of the void Hail Sithis motherfucker.

Sounds like intrusive thoughts, common in OCD. Get diagnosis/treatment

Imagine all the different ways you can kill them, then all the ways you could die, then apply it to life later on

OP, everyone gets at least a flash of a violent thought regarding people around them. What causes the sort of neurotic thought you are describing is when the person thinks just THINKING that means something. It doesnt. Its a common mentality in countries that were founded, even if you dont believe, on the idea of an all seeing god able to look into everything you think. Its you thinking this thought is some problem that needs to be fixed which is causing you to spiral further down. The more you think about something the more it occupies your brain. Trying to not think about something or "fix" a thought involves thinking about it, its counter intuitive. the solution is to not think about it while also not trying not to think about it. its possible and easier then it sounds. it sounds like these thoughts pop in your head without you consciously trying to think about them, therefore you cant control them. Contrary to popular belief if you simply allow it and stop feeling guilty about it you wont become an evil serial killer, you just will stop obsessing over it and feeling guilty. im sure you also fantasize about having sex with girls you know yet you dont seem to be worried about raping somebody. I could have a whole powwow with you about terrible things I think about yet have never and am not worried about acting upon. This would be potentially dangerous advice if you really were insane but im convinced it isnt a big deal and you just understandably think it is cause you are a bit OCD.

>>6873 Huh. That's actually...quite helpful. Thanks, I guess.

>>6860 Psst, I know who you are.

Realize your true potential and just do it! Do it and ascend!

>>6877 i think this is the first time ive successfully conveyed this concept to someone irl or online so im glad it made sense.

>>6873 Ah yes, will yourself better. **The worst advice for somebody with mental illness.**

>>6877 Did you start to feel better and find that the feeling and impulses subsided when you stopped worrying about it? If not seek professional help. At the least it won't hurt.

>>6888 I have mental illness (diagnosed) and I gave the advice as it worked for me. Also you can phrase anything in a way that sounds dumb. To me if somebody said that in this thread I would also go after them cause "willing" yourself to me is what I described as fighting it, or as it implies overcoming through "will". In my opinion what I said is entirely opposite to that. Also I agree with you if he had something other then obsessive compulsive thoughts. If he was schizophrenic, or psychopathic, or many many other things which I somewhat demeaningly (my apologies) categorized as "insane" I would not have given that advice but that is not what I saw. And I stated this in my post, and I don't think he would have agreed if what I said did not make sense and his urges were more serious than I thought.