what do I do if my life plans shattered

basically I've been kinda in a crisis I think, I don't know what to do or how to really deal with any of this so I'd really appreciate some input I'm a teenager and I went to military application, I had basically my whole future plans engraved on passing the application but I wasn't accepted, wont elaborate but they will never accept me pretty much. I'm also going to stay a grade this year too which I'm not as upset about as not passing the military application. I'm moving a city and going to lose my irl friends most likely, I feel like I've hit rock bottom right now I has plans of learning code and I dont have any motivation for it what soever right now. any input/advice on how to move on from this pit would be appreciated

No idea if this will help you at all but I've always thought if like gets really screwed for me I can always just leave everything and go do some WWOOFing or Workaway'ing in Sweden of something like that. Ganbatte motherfucker

>>67843 >Pick up an exercise routine if you don't have one already >Do a search for groups that you want to join in your new city, doesn't matter how weird your interests are or how little enthusiasm you have to make new friends, find groups you want to be a part of, go join them, go to them regularly, you will pick up friends and it will shield you from the real mental health killer, which is lying around at home with nothing to do for weeks on end, you can combine this with exercise regimen, football clubs, martial arts classes etc. >Get a job of some description if you don't have one already, preferably something chill but get some kind of job, start putting some money into a pot, you will be glad you did this later, but keep a bit of that money to make your life a little better now, don't just save all of it if you don't have to >Keep in active contact with your old friends if possible, just messaging them, playing games online, calling each other, even if it feels "cringe" or whatever to call them just to talk, just do it There you go, everything I wish I had done at your age. Why are you moving cities if you don't want to by the way, family enforced move? No relatives/friends etc. you could stay with if you really wanted? Bare in mind if you are leaving school your next steps if you can't get into the military is probably going to be tertiary education which means changing friend groups/locations most of the time anyway, this is a natural part of life sadly. Bit of a reach but I did get into a military program while having at the time undiagnosed autism and it was a horrible experience, you may have dodged a bullet

>>67855 >you may have dodged a bullet

>>67855 moving cities because of inflation, the city became too expensive the past two years for some reason and family cant keep up the house because the landlord raised the rent from 4k to 5.4k begged my parents to rent me a studio apartment for a year until I finish school but its too expensive here + I'm below 18 so no one would actually let me rent their place. about the military; military is required here for a successful future, so again that's why it was so important to me. just wanted to go there for two years and leave so I can have the "served the army" title thanks for the help btw, I will try my best to follow what you suggested even though I'm a literal neet and I barely go outside and meet real friends lol, I only have two here but they are very important to me

>>67861 Work on getting a good job and going somewhere that doesn't operate to Starship trooper rules Or bribe someone to give you a cushy military role in an office somewhere, if you live in a country where you can do that kind of thing

>>67843 Alright, be honest with me. What country, do you live in, US? I might be able to provide you with some direction.

>>68017 >military is required here for a successful future Isràel maybe.

If you want to get in to the armed forces you could try french foreign legion, I also I hear the Ukrainians are hiring. If military service was just a means to an end then figure out what you actually want and just go do that instead.

>>68163 >French foreign legion >War in ukraine Don't you have to be an adult to do those?

>>68168 pretty sure the ukrainian's standards aren't that high. If they ask pretend to not understand/insist you're the min age or over and they probably won't stop you. Whats in it for them ?

I once met a vet that had signed up at 18 and had 15 confirmed kills. He said he wished he'd done something else and had been to Hell and back. So there you have you dodged a bullet.

>>68168 FFL requires 17.5 minimum. http://foreignlegion.info/french-foreign-legion-age-requirements/ If you do seriously consider FFL, I would go ask at 4chan's /k/ for advice, since iirc they put you through the meat grinder.

>>67843 >I went to military application Do you like when someone bark orders to you all day? Do you want to kill, see your friends die and possibly be horribly maimed or killed for shaddy political reasons that only benefit to a handful of crooks? >military is required here for a successful future, so again that's why it was so important to me. just wanted to go there for two years and leave so I can have the "served the army" title Israel? Learning to code is what journalists who don't know how real life tell to the people who get their life destroyed. Don't, especially with the AI that enter the market. Changes in your future career are normal and supposed to happen, don't worry and keep an open mind. You may end up working with locks, repairing cars, being an hairdresser, a prison guard or drawing things in autocad. Go for the least resistance path, that's how the market work and keep going until you find yourself at a place you won't mind staying until you are old. The only thing of value you will loose are your friends. If they are good friends ask them to house you, the friendships build at the first adult years are the only ones you keep for life. >>68163 If the local army don't want him, the FFL certainly won't either and he didn't asked for suicide advice. The volunteers are the Wagner penal section of Ukraine.

>>67843 Depending on what you were tying, I know people who became private intelligence/investigators instead of military service. Explaining a vague reason why you cant into military would go a long way of getting better advice.

>>67843 Be glad they didn't accept you. Now think for yourself instead of becoming a dog of the military. There's no country on Earth where you need to be a military dog to succeed in life except Isreal or North Korea and in either case you're doomed anyways and should probably just live it up as much as you can instead. In terms of real soulful advice. Appreciate the natural world, go for walks in the woods or around a body of water regularly if you can. Observe nature without any prior assumptions, it will show you the truths of our world and the truth within yourself. Exercise vigorously 2-3 times a week and meditate daily. Let your thoughts pass over you peacefully before bed like wind over a mountain. Engage with what you love once your motivation returns and don't ever feel guilty for doing things that make you happy as long as they are not in excess. It is actually okay to play a video game for a few hours a day even if you're a neet and haven't accomplished anything else in that day. Denying yourself little moments of joy only keeps you in despair and prevents you from being able to build motivation, and you do deserve those moments of joy. Only you can determine the path you walk but it becomes easier to see where to go and who to ask for help and insight when you have cultivated a calm mind and genuinely care for yourself. You are more than a dog of the military. You are not a statistic. You are a human being!

>>67843 Do you have any interest in science or engineering? STEM is a good social lift if you're up for it usually. I'm not sure how colleges work in Israel, but I'm sure you can get in if you apply yourself to studies for a whole year. Since you repeat a year you'll have plenty of time, right? I did the same at the uni when I reeentoled and finished the classes and got a diploma while working a 5/2 40h job As an added bonus you won't have to worry about much and will find a community if the course is hard enough because it would be nessesary to work together to pass the exams. How's that sound? It's only one of many opportunities, anon.

Good afternoon! I've been in your shoes 15 years ago when I was trying to become a priest. The power structure changed, and all the influence I accrued over the years shattered in the span of several weeks. I was just as confused and lost as you are now. Fortunately, what makes us human is the ability to adapt to change and thrive in front of adversity. It wasn't easy for me, and it will probably not be easy for you, too. For myself, a lot of my identity was tied to the church, a lot of my friends were from the church, which made the sudden separation that much more difficult. If I am to retrospect over the whole process, the first step that happened was to build a new identity, one outside the breast of the church. I realized I could serve the Lord outside the church. Many people do that already. You will have to ask yourself many uncomfortable questions. Your lack of motivation is just simply your brain saying: "I don't think the pain of doing this is worth the reward.". You will have to search deep within you, ideally writing it down so you can reflect upon it with more clarity: who am I? What do I think I want to do? What do I think I want to do, but actually other people want me to do? What is it I actually want to do? Do I really want to change? Or maybe... even just... want to want to change? Don't lose hope, OP. You are very young and hope looks beautiful when worn by the young. You are merely at the start. Try out different things. Ask around. Search for your answers. I wish I could give you your answers, but I don't have the right to.

>>71457 >the breast of the church Christianity is really kinky in it's terminology as I'm starting to realize.

>I'm a teenager and I went to military application, I had basically my whole future plans engraved on passing the application but I wasn't accepted, wont elaborate but they will never accept me pretty much. Welcome to the club. Best advice I can give you is to find new meaning in life and follow your passions. People probably also told you it was for a reason. I've been there.

>>67843 I have nothing, I am nothing. There is nobody in my life. I am still to start. And yet, I feel king of the world.

>>67843 You are still very young so you have plenty of options. I don't know which country you live in but I can recommend you take up a blue collar job at a warehouse first and consider getting technical training instead of attending a university. If you live in the USA, I suggest you take up an exercise routine, rent guns at a rental range to help ventilate, and get involved in either sports clubs or take up self-sustenance gardening even though you should not expect to grow everything to fulfill your needs. Worst case scenario is you move to Thailand, move into a $150 per month apartment, and eat some street vendor bugs.

>>71583 You're just projecting your life preferences without any filter, lainon. Though there is wisdom in your words it's too direct and doesn't leave room for self expression of the individual. Trust me, making more people like yourself in the world is not a worthwhile cause, you'll hate it if there were more people like you around. Almost anybody would hate more people that are just like them existing.

Not from Israel (if thats where you are from) but I have 2 other friends of who failed their military application, and they were told (not officially) that it was because they were too young and had no experience in work. If you are a still a teenager, you have lots of time to figure this out. The best advice in this thread was >>67855, that will put you on a good track Lainon. Most of us have been there, myself included. 0 friends, no idea what to do, new place. If you wholeheartedly just attend something (martial art, yugioh tourney, gardening workshop), you'll find opportunities land in your lap. This is your time to go out on a limb and do something, you might hit rock bottom many more times but in a few years you'll see they were all just little pebbles that you slightly tripped on in your overall path.

>>68809 >There's no country on Earth where you need to be a military dog to succeed in life except Israel yeah, that's why I have no future here, but by some miracle I can move out and start anew in a different country that will give me more opportunities. I will take your suggestion of going outside and appreciate nature once I'm out of this hellhole, because there is no nature here. thank you lainon. >>69006 >How's that sound? It's only one of many opportunities, anon. I can't see myself doing this in this state however I'm starting to try and build a portfolio for web design as it comes natural to me honestly, thanks very much for the suggestion and maybe I will change my mind once my head will be clear, I'm really not sure about what to settle on just yet, who knows really, I even had the thought of becoming an art teacher for a good while kek >>71457 >Your lack of motivation is just simply your brain saying: "I don't think the pain of doing this is worth the reward." It's actually "If I can't do this perfectly, I'd rather not do that at all", it comes in many ways even simple video games. I feel like this blocks me from my true potential and my abilities, I just can't show anything that's not perfect or even get myself to try but I'm trying my best :) Thank you very much, your reply is very encouraging! >they were told (not officially) that it was because they were too young and had no experience in work. Yeah but it's very shameful that even your own country doesn't want to take you to the military even though they require you to be able to handle being outside like a normal person and have all of your body parts intact and working, which is the bare minimum. But yeah, it's for the better the more I sat and thought about it, I'll make it out eventually I'm sure of it as long as I have a roof above my head and I'm healthy, there is no reason for me to fail just yet. Thanks a lot lainons, Your words are very encouraging. I'm sure everything will turn out just fine for everyone.

>>71649 I hate the idea of americans and israelis getting out of their countries and polluting others with their presence and their culture. I'm sorry if this is rude, but consider the wellbeing of the rest of the world. If you people hate migration so much, don't migrate yourself.

>>71649 I wish you the best anon. I'm >>68809 it pains me to hear that there are no forests for you to walk in and that you are unfortunately from one of the countries I mentioned. Good luck with getting out of there.

>>71650 Have you considered that many of the Americans and Israelis who want to leave their countries probably hate their culture at least as much if not more than you do?

>>67843 OP, it seems like you're going through a tough time. Unfortunately, soykaf happens, and life doesn't always go the way we plan it. However, that does not mean you should give up on your future ambitions. Have you considered looking for alternative options? There are plenty of paths towards a successful future, and the military is just one of them. Perhaps you can explore other interests you have and pursue them. Losing friends is a common occurrence in life, and while it may hurt, it offers an opportunity to meet new people and expand your social circle. As for the motivation to learn code, it may take time to overcome the negative feelings, but it's important to push through it and keep trying. Keep your chin up and keep pushing forward.

>>67843 Just pick a path and follow it. Sounds cliché, I know, but it's the truth. I'm saying this as someone who wasted 5 years of his life achieving fuarrrk all. before finally getting a steady job that pays the bills. >I'm moving a city and going to lose my irl friends most likely Doesn't sound like true friends to me. If they can't stay in touch with you while you're gone, they're not worthwhile. - focus on your career - take care of your health - invest safely and steadily - continually explore new ideas and hone your skills Do the above list of soykaf and you're better off than 90% of the idiots on this planet. I'm not joking. Stop caring about "friends" and one or two lost years. Get to fuarrrking work. Now.

Stoicism. Thank the God that he allowed you to have the nice things, shrug at him taking them back and just go on. Nothing of what you describe matters, really. It's going to take a lot of effort to learn that material things are nothing, but that's the only way out. "Just keep living" seems to be a ridiculous thing to say but that's really just the only way to preserve your mental health.

You’re good Lain. I’ve also been in a crisis and lost two most important people. One of them went insane and became arrogant, and the other forgot about me because at the time I harshly put a distance between us out of fear It feels weird knowing that life can go that way, but it can. It feel weird to understand and realize that you can wake up one day and lose everything. And there you are, alone, stranded on an island, and it’s so very obvious to almost anyone who comes along I don’t know if I have any comforting words. I don’t know how it’s possible that someone can forget you after you both mean the world to each other. I don’t know why most of my interests still remind me of them but not to them since we shared them all from childhood. I don’t know how it can be the only special thing that ever happened and then all of it can be wiped out. Like a world, like a whole life Hell, if I killed myself and respawned somewhere new the effect would be exactly the same Maybe I just don’t understand something But I understand you I am left to wonder how come everytime I close my eyes I remember capacity, tenderness, fragility and opportunity and when they close their eyes it’s a different gig, a new interest. A new person I’m left to wonder

we’ll never know

>>79263 >>79263 if we never try

Consider it a blessing you aren't being put into a state apparatus of decay where you are on the regular fed lies to keep you obedient in helping kill for a false cause. If you just wanted to get in for money or some kind of education, is that really your only option? There is probably avenues you have yet to look into. You're likely making assumptions on how required the military is for success where you are. Also success isn't money, it's living a life you can enjoy and money isnt the only factor there. Is your family able to squat there long enough for you to finish school or can you find a transport that will get you to where you want to go so you can visit same friends still?

>>79270 lain, i wont crack the guy who i loved in childhood and whom now doesnt talk to me to find out about the reasons