Love

What is love? I know it is truely an illusion for species to reproduce, but how does that reflect the amount of homosexuals that exist? I never thought I was gay, but then I met someone, someone that I think of as my best friend. We started off on bad terms, mostly intentionally caused by myself, but we grew on each other. We spent most of a year constantly together. Recently, we have been spending less time together, but have still remained friends and continue to talk as before. This slight seperation should really be nothing for me (my dad always being away since I was a kid allows me to not be affected by people leaving or dieing) but I've felt this odd longing for my friend and I to be together. Because of these feelings, and some other thoughts, I have determined that he is more than my best friend to me, I love him. I've been confused with these thoughts. Is it gay for me to love my best friend? Is it gay for me to wish for him to love me back? What is love really? Is love what makes a friend a true friend? If so, what makes that different from a normal girlfriend-boyfriend situation? I can never tell this person my true feelings. I'm scared that this will scare him away. I've only really known him for 3 years, and I think, looking back, that I've had these feelings ever since. What really makes love, love?

Yeah, that's pretty gay to be honest.

>>6651 Help me understand. Would you say that you care for your friends? I've never been in a loving-type relationship before, and to be honest, idk if this is even love that I feel. How would you describe your feelings of your friends?

If he is really your best friend he wont be scared away by you expressing your feelings to him. Even if he does not agree. Tell him how you feel, if he balks and walks then you will know where you stand. If he listens and shares his own ideas, affirmative or otherwise, he is really your friend; and whether your relationship becomes romantic or not, you should keep him close. Who knows, you just might have found your ideal pair bond. Remember though, people evolve over time, do not expect your relationship dynamics to be eternal, that way lies only suffering.

>>6650 I've felt a strong sense of love for really good friends of mine in the past. Nothing sexual or anything like that. I never considered it weird. But then again I never openly told any of them. One by one all of my friends disappeared out of my life though. I haven't had a friend I've even regularly hung out with in over 5 years.

OP, there is a difference between romantic and brotherly love. I've told my closest friend that I had love for him, but there's a strong difference between that and say, the love between a couple. Make sure you're not confusing the two.

>>6656 I disagree with this I think this is like saying no homo. Just my opinion Not saying this is true but just from how I see it the idea that there is this special kind of love you only feel for members of your preferred sex that you deeply care about is just some societal thing that isnt real. I think you can love and you can be sexually attracted to and there is some synergy there where you love that person more because they give you sex and sex is better because you respect them. But so thats literally it to me, there is zero difference in my mind between the way you love your friends and a "partner" besides sexual attraction. So your gay or bi if you are sexually attracted to him otherwise you just love him imo.

I kind of wish I knew what romantic love felt like. Maybe I'm just too autistic or something, but I have no clue what it's like. Maybe I'm just too focused in other aspects of my life. The closet thing I've felt to it is the desire to be friends with someone. Is that love? Wanting to be friends with someone? I'm not even sure because I've never had any real life friends. I just try not to think about it because the only thing it accomplishes is making me sad about being a failure of a human being.

>>6662 Ever felt butterflies in your belly while being excited? That's love, basically.

>>6650 >What is love? I know it is truely an illusion for species to reproduce, but how does that reflect the amount of homosexuals that exist? I don't think it's about reproduction itself. Love is about bonding partners together long enough after reproduction in order to jointly raise the children into adulthood. Parents who don't experience love and only reproduce then split are less likely to have surviving children and therefor less likely to pass on their genes. >homosexuals The process of evolution is not perfect and full of bugs and random chance.

>>6650 >What is love? In my (admittedly limited) experience, asking questions like this won't get you anywhere. Honestly I'm not sure how to help you, I'm actually in a similar situation of questioning my sexuality. I think maybe the answer is to try not to think about it too much. Maybe it's best to just follow your heart on things like this. I know this is soykafty advice but it seems to be kind of the consensus on issues of love. Worrying about the details doesn't matter, who cares if you're official. If you're close friends, it should be that you both care a lot about each other. I'm not sure labeling it will do anyone any good. >>6666 nice get

>>6650 >What is love? This video explains it pretty well make sure to watch it to the end before making comments https://youtu.be/6H2FRxvsd2M

OP here. I guess my confusion comes from my lack of experience with romantic love. With my friends in the past, I've never felt like this. I've never dated or thought myself to be in love before. I havent thought about anything sexual, never have with anyone, but I dont know how i woulf react if it were offered. Also, I wanted a thread on your guys experiences aswell, but forgot to make thst clear. So, please write your own experiences aswell.

>>6650 Im in a fairly similar situation, except while im not sure if he is my best friend, im sure im not his best friend even though i would like to be. Im not really into men, but this guy is actually so cute if i had the chance to sleep with him i wouldnt pass, its not gay just bi. :) Joke aside, i think love is just a emotion that is bonds very strongly with something so much that you would make personal sacrifices for that thing, it doesnt have to be a sex partner or even a friend, i think you can love anything. Though im not the right person to ask anyhow, since i never really had a girlfriend anyway.

>>6650 Depends. Do you want to bum him?

Love is an artifact of human evolution combined with socialization, nothing more.

It just be what it is. Nothing more to it, nothing less.

bump

>>6650 If you want to fuarrrk him, then you're gay. Otherwise you aren't.

>>9503 I dunno, what if you like cock but would never want to be in a relationship with a dude - is that gay? What about the other way around? They're arguably both gay, but which is gayer?

>>9505 Obviously the latter is more gay, there are dudes that only want to sweep another dude's chimney and not deal with their pole, which still means they are total pooftas. But if you just like dick but not dudes you might fap to futa or getting pouned by a chick with a strapon or some soykaf, which is gayer than straight, but straighter than liking dudes.

>>6650 >but is it gay to suck a trans womans benis? to be honest, I see "love" as a number of different things. unfortunately, in English it is hard to describe, because the language itself lacks a variety of terms for "love" favoring a rather dynamic but more context driven term, whereas other languages often have a word for loving friends/family vs. loving a social or sexual partner. I digress... Anyway, love can mea many things to many people. however, typically there is a differentiation between "love" and "infatuation" that distinctively separates the intellectual from the physical. While it is true that sexual drive is typically parallel to you :loving" someone, you also need to consider the concepts of social belonging. "love" typically confers a social state between people where there is mutual respect and an appreciation of one another that transcends a physical attraction. biologically, certain hormones are triggered by this feeling, yes, but there is also an evolutionary encouragement to socialize and build a large familial group, because groups tend to perform better than an individual against the elements (this is where loving a people/community/clan comes from). there is also the idea of loving your brother (biological or metaphorically those around you) in the sense that you put their lives as equal or above your own (i.e. altruistic behavior) tl:dr biology and sociology cause us to love people things because altruism is biologically ingrained to preserve the species, on an intellectual level, this manifests itself as a deep appreciation and confidence in someone

>>9503 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upf_rDr36ig

Platonic love is a thing. In America we would call what you're having a "bromance" and even in our incredibly homophobic culture it is considered acceptable. Also, who gives a soykaf if it's gay. If it's gay it's gay, if it's not it's not, doesn't change a single god damn thing about the situation.

>>6748 This

>I've been confused with these thoughts. Is it gay for me to love my best friend? Is it gay for me to wish for him to love me back? The type of love you are experiencing is probably philia or love towards friends. It is a love in a very non-sexual way where you can have intense emotions for a person, but without anything sexual in the process. Often it is dubbed as platonic love, but this term has much more meaning to it than just ordinary love between friends. >Is love what makes a friend a true friend? If so, what makes that different from a normal girlfriend-boyfriend situation? Probably not, but it makes some part of it. There are much more to being someones friend than just loving him. You two must understand each other on a much deeper level, which it must not be confused with love, because love is a emotion, and understanding is not. Anyways, time will tell how good friends you two really are. The difference should be obvious, when it comes to "normal" girlfriend-boyfriend situation. Instead of already named philia, you are experiencing eros, which is a sexual type of love. So the question is, are you? If so, you are probably gay, and if not, it's just a love between friends.

>>6662 Honestly, when i experimented for the first time was like a contradiction. Because when i was it with that persons, i felt happy and the same time sad, i felt very confident of myself and open with her but in the same time scared and insecure because she will know who am i and i hated myself in that moment now i still a little bit. It's like no matter how painful or scared do you feel with someone, if that persons makes you feel happy and you wanna stay with that person forever and no matter what happens. That is love, i think. It's a strange feeling, but i suck in socialize with other people, maybe that is why i feel the love like something weird and unexplainable. >>6666 Curious get for that post.

>>6650 >What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...