Why Am I Pressured into a Gay Lifestyle From Therapists in my Western Country?

Whenever I go talk with a therapist about my autoerotic desires, and mention anything about liking "gay porn" (porn which has males as the object of desire), I am automatically pressured into having some kind of gay sex, or told that gay sex is the right way to go. I guess I've been reading too many image boards or something because for me, real life men are actually disgusting, and having a sexual diet that involves assholes and smelling other men's sweat disgusts me. This is just me, I don't have any "internalized homophobia" or whatever the kids are calling it, other men as a sexual object just disgusts me, but my own body, and many being caressed by a woman while I am the object of my own sexual desire greatly excites me. I want to be a big fat soft beastman so badly, and get to have sex with a woman while I am a big fat soft beastman (or just orgasm to the thought of that being me in general), but they don't understand where the "gay porn" part comes in. I've shown them the art, and they automatically assume that it's an attraction to those traits in other people, because they're normal people, but it's not. Should I specifically go see a sex therapist and hope that they're not cyberhumped? Should I go to the Nichiren-Buddhist temple near my home and ask the Monks like my Mainland Chinese friend recommended to me, and give up on these insane Western people? I really don't want to live a "shaky" gay sex fueled life, like is popular in my culture, and be destitute and poorer in both mind and fortune than both my parents have ever been (I come from a broken home). You can be a gay hedonist if you come from a rich background with a lot of inheritance wealth (and every person who advocates for this stuff comes from a home like this), but not if you come from a low-income home, and doubly so if you have an inherited mood disorder -- it's setting yourself up for a life of unduly suffering and disaster that can be avoided very easily. I've probably asked this so many times here, and you probably notice a pattern, but I cannot get this line of thinking out of my head, as it impacts so much of my life; I've become obsessed with my own mortality and my ability to love, it's so funny.

Ticks all boxes of internalized homophobia, just try having gay sex

>>61988 Always be ready to fire and replace a therapist. A good therapist obsoletes themselves like a good teacher. Consider studying Vaknin on the subject of auto-homo-eroticism because according to him that's normal for narcissist personality people.

What's the therapy for? What's your goal?

>>61988 Maybe you have a very specific type of man you're attracted to. I am bi-curious and not most men do the trick for me. I like a specific type of a very well groomed, dressed, shaved and guy that has a lot of feminine characteristics. Who they are rare. For example i like guys that are well dressed (suits turtle necks etc) and shaved with short hair but not too short, where i am from this is a rarity cause all of them have huge beards and dress like they live on the streets.

Whenever I see somebody online whine about western anything these days I assume that it's a fundie/vatnik/china bot and immediately stop reading. The west is the greatest civilization in human history and we need to take pride in that.

>I really don't want to live a "shaky" gay sex fueled life, like is popular in my culture, and be destitute and poorer in both mind and fortune than both my parents have ever been (I come from a broken home). Being gay doesn't mean that you have to have a sex fueled life or be poor. At least, since you're in a western country, being gay won't make you any more economically disadvantaged than you are now. You can't claim you have no internalized homophobia and then make statements like this that reek of internalized homophobia. >Should I specifically go see a sex therapist Yes, they'll be more experienced with issues of sexuality than a general practice therapist who probably hasn't done much deep thought about it since their human sexuality course in uni. They'll definitely have better insight than a cyberpunk imageboard or a bunch of monks. >give up on these insane Western people? you masturbate to gay porn. It's not insane to think you're gay or to suggest that you explore your sexuality more. I understand there's nuance to why you masturbate to gay porn, but my point is that it isn't insane to think someone who masturbates to gay porn, and is apparently so distressed about it they're discussing it with their therapist, is repressing their gayness. You also need to understand that all of your reasons that you're not gay despite masturbating to gay porn are reasons that many gay people have earnestly stated only to later realize that they were just in denial. I am not saying you're a gay in denial, but given how similar your story is to many gay men's, it's not insane to think you might be a gay in denial.

I dont think this thread is legit at all.