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How do you know when it's time to break up with your partner? How do you even approach it if you don't want for them to feel awful? Share your experiences, let's talk about this horrible thing.

Doesn't work that way. Gotta rip off the bandaid. Maybe go on a couple platonic dates after so they're not lonely. Go places where you guys have to talk to other people.

why would you. sounds horrible. keep it together fam. unless you're a user then you should just leave.

>>59750 Do you think there's no reason for ever breaking up? Have you been in a relationship before?

>How do you know when it's time to break up with your partner? You got into the relationship for some reasons in the first place -- you wanted sex, you wanted comfort, you wanted a companion (these are typical reasons). If your reasons to be in the relationship are not being fulfilled, and you don't believe your partner is willing and able to fulfill them, then you should break up. >how do you do it? Say "I can't do this any more", tell them why you can't, have a frank discussion with them.

>>59751 sure I have. In one right now. Why would you want to destroy it ? Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another is an adulteruer. If this is an actual relationship worth any concern then op is married for all intents and purposes. One doesn't simply break up a marriage because 'its time'. Its a for-life deal, get used to it.

>>59755 Forgot this was a Christian image board. This poster is projecting some really negative prejudices about the nature of sex, on which sexual relationships are based. Emotional relationships, for which you are emotionally dependant, seems to be this "marriage" of which you speak. Understand that not everyone is capable of emotional dependency. I personally can't and see it as horrible, unforgivable weakness in either me or a potential partner. Further, sex and emotions are not inherently tied together, it's just that emotions are some people's dirty fetish. Other people do drugs. It's the same thing though; Narcotic, brain altering chemicals that heighten your sexual arousal. I don't do narcotics, naturally occurring or otherwise.

>>59748 >How do you know when it's time to break up with your partner? Everyone is different. >How do you even approach it if you don't want for them to feel awful? >Worst feeling is breaking up >Giving them the worst feeling possible by breaking up >Don't want for them to feel awful Illogical. You implicitly state what they feel is irrelevant when you break up - because you've already decided you're going to give them the worst feeling possible, which is breaking up. >talk about this horrible thing. If breaking up is horrible then don't. The point of breaking up is to be better off than you are with the person. If someone is making your life a misery breaking up isn't a "horrible thing" it is a "joyous relief".

break up with your partner only if they are dragging you down in fulfilling what you need to fulfill in life. try to avoid it at all costs. discuss it with them openly. I watched a friend of mine break up with another friend. it didn't end well because the other friend threatened to kill him. I think he should have talked about his feelings all along instead of laying it on him all at once.

If you want to dump your partner, chances are your relationship is in decline, and your partner is likely aware of this, whether they accept it or not. Unless you're dumping them for someone else, which is a dick move and inthat case you should be direct so they know what they are dealing with. Anyway, your partner probably feels the relationship is near it's end already, and they may be thinking the same thing. So it should not come off as a shock to them, unless they're emotionally dependent or something, which is harmful anyway and as other lainon said, it's necessary to rip the bandaid. As for execution, a simple, straightforward statement of the kind "we shouldn't be seeing each other eanymore" is best. Don't beat about the bush or make it harder than it will by necesity be.

>>59748 It is in my experience, however limited, that you break with your partner when you have confirmed --without any doubt-- that their fundamental values and/or personality negate your long-term desires. For example, they do not respect your boundaries, you cannot live with their past, their behavior shows signs of treachery. As for the act of breaking it, I've only sent simple and blunt text messages. After that point, it isn't your problem if they feel lonely. In my opinion, the only thing you can do at that point is to cut off all ties and contact.

>>59748 Whenever you don't feel happy in the relationship anymore. Delaying a break up because you're worried about other person will only make things more awkward and painful.

I've only broken up once so don't take me for an expert. Make it as short and clear-cut as possible. Write it out but don't have notes on you obvoiusly. Be strong and assertive even if they scream or beg for you not to. Short because you shouldn't be tortured further either. I made the mistake of spending too much time, hearing more than I should have (which still haunts me sometimes). Best advice I hurt for everything in the social sphere is: Hurt is unavoidable so don't even try. Honesty over harm. Good luck man, you can do it. Rule of thumb is that it takes about half of a relationship's time to fully heal.

>>59756 don't know where you're getting this emotional connexion idea from, I certainly didn't try and put it in my post. I'd say marriage is primarily a sexual occurence, with additional emotional/civilizational/regligious/legalistic aspects layered upon it. At its base its mainly just the sexual aspect one can be said to matter strongly and universally; a marriage does yet a marriage be without any emotional investment at all, and if it becomes a marriage with it, and looses it later, it doesn't matter. Again, marriage is for life, doesn't matter if you loose interest half way through. If OP's 'relationship' is just like, chit chatting on line or going on a few dates, then sure, break it off if you're not enthused. Probably best to do that quickly and get it over with. I just assume these days when people reffer to 'relationships' they frequently mean marriages.

>>59748 when they start leaving the bathroom door open in front of you and they are actually using it, start passing pass in front of or near you instead of excusing themselves, and/or not taking their shoes off inside the house. It will only get worse. Your welcome.

Super Ghost Serious relationship w/ live-in GF. To break up: Just moved most of my stuff to the garage over a week or so, then when she was at work and I wasn't: Pack up all the stuff, cart it away. When she calls asking "WTF?" I just said, "Consider it a clean break up." She starts texting and mentioning cultural propaganda rubbish she's been programmed with "closure" etc. > Your emotional state is no longer my responsibility. > I wish you all the best in life, but I won't provide it. Ghost, block social media profiles, etc. Never look back. I cared about the other party, but let's face it, she didn't deserve all the romantic shenanigans and hoop jumping I was doing to please her in the first place. Rather than risk some teary eyed hate-fueled destruction of expensive hardware and clothes, it's best to just Super Ghost to another Coast. I don't want the other party to feel aweful, but people are responsible for their own mental states. I can't force them to feel awful or be offended, etc. One must take offense themselves or become awful feeling by their own will. Agreed, it's not that reality can't influence their mental modes... So, I just made as little of a wake as possible and disappeared. This is a retort, pic related. A contrary opinion on the matter. While no method will apply in all circumstances, Super Ghosting is sometimes for the best. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just leave to get some smokes. BRB.

>>59779 what did she do to make u super gh0st >>59779 >he starts texting and mentioning cultural propaganda rubbish she's been programmed with "closure" etc. Like what?cultural propaganda, tf?

>>59779 holy fuarrrk anon how did it even get to this point sheesh. for the other lainons, don't super ghost. at least talk about it. damn. this is some nuclear soykaf

>>59763 >As for the act of breaking it, I've only sent simple and blunt text messages. Isn't breaking up over text message considered rude?

>>59796 The answer is that it doesn't really matter, just like the super ghost lainon said. People are responsible for their own offense/mental states.

>>59802 If they deserve it fine but if not its an asshole move. A lot of "missing people" turn out to be just people who ran away from bad family/marriage. Works well to get away from your problem but also leaves people forever wondering if you got abducted etc. and obviously incurring such worries on someone who did nothing wrong to you is plain mean.

>>59779 It's probably best to ghost if you're scared of your partner or if you think there's no productive conversation to be had. I ghosted one ex because he acted pretty erratically in the past, and I was pretty scared about how he'd react— I thought that if I told him explicitly that we were through, he might use some hypothetical backdoor in my server (he had root for a while) or I don't know what. In hindsight, that probably wasn't realistic (he's the type to manipulate, not the type to go nuclear), but it's too late now. Over a year later and he still texts me pretty regularly… But usually, people are reasonable, can already sense something's wrong with the relationship, and will take being broken up with fairly gracefully. Just have a quick break-up conversation.

> unless they're emotionally dependent > dependent the choice word seems flawed, since dependency could occur within a moving system. emotional dependency while in stasis, cannot be healthy.

>>59802 >>59779 >People are responsible for their own offense/mental states. While true, i feel you could use this to excuse a lot of very soykafty behavior.

>>59806 It is being used as that because it is that. People that ghost are not only cowards but selfish cowards. The type that is easy to leave someone without a word of fight is the same spineless weak self centered hedonist that hurts others because of fear of being hurt themself. I have no sympathy for people like that, and when I hear someone did it in my circle of friends I excommunicate them with a formal explanation to their face. I do not want to have self centered cowards in my circle of friends because I know they have only their comfort and fulfillment as number 1 goal for whatever we do and if things get a bit harsh from time to time they will get cold feet and just dip. They need to be in constant affirmation of good situation/people/environment that they would crumble by the weight of real world stressors. They are weak, first and foremost. By the way, I know what you guys will answer. And yea, I was ghosted but I also did the ghosting myself. I understand you because I was you. A coward.

>>59810 Some people are just empty vessels, voids, vampires, they can do little other than bait and pull you in again over and over. It's not your responsibility to drain yourself to fix them or "improve together". Ghosting is logical and necessary. Though in some cases it is cowardice, obviously.

>>59812 >t's not your responsibility to drain yourself to fix them or "improve together". Nobody said or implied that. What I said was that explaining why you are leaving them and how it came to be is not only benefiting them but also yourself. Truth shall set you free. Do not be a prisoner, of other people or yourself. Being a coward is not facing your issues, evading them. Being a coward is being a prisoner of your own mind.

>>59813 >only benefiting them but also yourself There is zero benefit to yourself, you are just performing emotional labor for someone else. You already know why you left them, even if you haven't articulated it at length. and if you were ghosted by a friend/ex, trying to get an explanation out of them just shows your neediness. And gaslighting them by saying that they are "cowards" is far worse of a behavior than cowardice itself.

Peers should not say sudden good-byes , nor should they let each other drift apart un-remarked upon . Internet-y offline life needs much more consistency . People need to stay together and embrace challenges . Blocking is effectively a homocidal urge , while ghosting can result from environmental factors . If some people both seem very rare for each other , then they probably intend to bridge the distance between each other .

>>59814 Just like a self centered coward would exhault their shít behaviour. Deny, twist around, use manipulation by calling it a gaslighting when it's not, and project. And to call me a coward that does this out of being emotionally bruised by ghoster? Lmao, I already explained I did ghosted myself and did ghosting. A nice little dance of rationalization you did there, but ask yourself if your cowardice ever set you free. You already know why you are leaving them, what do you gain from not telling them and lessening the burden off your chest? Hell, even screaming at the top of your lungs at them for being emotional and time vampires will be theraupetic for you, right? Talk about it aggressively or calmly, you have benefit by getting it off your chest to the literal person that you feel like slighted you or wasted your time. Oh but no, you fear what they might do back to you, that is the issue. You are a coward, plain simple. Scared of truth. Scared of life. Jesus christ, I hate you cowards so fuarrrking much.

>>59816 Sorry but you sound like an an unpleasant little schizoid who should check himself into a mental institution, pronto.

>>59817 Hahahahha there you go again, make up a story in your head about another person that fits the narrative and caters to your feelings. Even online you don't like confrontation, how sad. I even soft served the solution to your cowardice ass. That kind of thinking won't get you far in life, just want you to know that.

>>59818 No. >You already know why you are leaving them, what do you gain from not telling them and lessening the burden off your chest? you went from needy... > Oh but no, you fear what they might do back to you, that is the issue. ...to threatening and creepy here. None of your "You're making stuff up" about me or "NO U!"s work because you reveal too much of yourself in your posts-- you clearly have a major malfunction.

>>59819 You feel threatened over a simple online anonymous convo? Jeez And yea, just keep calling me malfunctioned lmao that will make it truthful as Goebbels said, just keep repeating a lie until it is true

>>59820 Context, autist. I didn't say you were threatening me, I said you are an unpleasant little person who is a threat to people unfortunate to be involved IRL with you. >Goebbels ahh.. one of your heroes.

>>59821 Jesus Christ, stop reading in between the lines of the lines and just talk to people directly you anxious coward. Calling me mentally ill, or a nazi won't hide the fact that you like to keep a thin veil of calm and collected persona wherever you go, just so people don't abuse you. I said that talking out your feelings to people has theraupetic effect, for you. Whether it be me, a literal stranger online who is just pushing your itty bitty buttons out of boredom or your ex in a large message before blocking them, like a coward you are. I will have to disappoint you however, I am getting pretty bored of your circular logic and constant need of me to contradict you without pushing the convo further. So buh bye.

>>59748 You know it's time when you're no longer feeling fulfilled by the relationship. There's exceptions to this sometimes, like if you have a problem that can be talked through and resolved that ends up improving the relationship. If you hold onto a relationship just because you don't want to make the other person feel bad, you will make yourself miserable. I ended up in a 10 year long relationship with my ex gf because I was too afraid to hurt her feelings or that she might freak out if I broke up with her. By year 5 I was ready to end things but I didn't do anything about it and paid the price... I try not to think of how much soykaf I missed out on for 10 years. TLDR if you're not happy, there's no sense in stringing people along. You just have to do what you feel like is best for you.

>>59821 While I agree that >>59820 is an unpleasant, borderline psychopath, you on the other hand, are a sociopath. If you are capable of super ghosting someone, you are capable of cutting all ties with them and letting them know why. A text, a note, a letter, a call, or a face-to-face. Why would you do it? No you (probably) don't owe it to them, but it costs you nothing more than 10 minutes of your time (if you don't want to argue/debate them send a message and block). And because it would suck if someone did it to you. >No it wouldn't If you believe that, you either haven't experienced it, or you didn't care about that person as much as you believe, or your ego convinced you that you don't care. Give it some thought.

>>59876 She isn't a sociopath, she just has obsessive compulsive personality disorder and/or dependant personality disorder. She sounds like your run of the mill cluster C personality. Her need for control, reading in between the lines and complete neurotic type of interaction with others just screams daddy issues. Not to mention that she responded to my last reply just so she could delete it. And although I am flattered by your "borderline psychopath" assumption I have to dissapoint. My agape empathy for everyone borders on philia. I also feel emotions really strongly. She does sound like she is going to a psychiatrist tho, so no need to worry anon. She got the message me and you are trying to convey.

>>59885 >she is going to a psychiatrist tho no need to worry ok you've got me worried now. don't let your girl go to the shrink, shrinks stink

>>59885 I'm not a woman, have no psychological issues, haven't ghosted anyone, and do not suffer from anxiety. And you should really quit samef*gging I left you alone because >>59823 was so self-evidently slimy and copey that it was pathetic. But now you've topped yourself. >agape empathy on point for a schizoid to make stuff up and claim to be some empath. A sicko playing doctor. Why don't you take that bateman sh*t and join other pseuds who like to play self-help gurus on right-wing twitter? You assuming that I'm a woman all but proves what kind of a person you really are.

Me and my partner were happy together for 3 years, eventually do to certain circumstances, we wound up being separated and went long distance. This would leave us both unsatisfied and unhappy in the relationship and constantly paranoid about the other cheating on them. It was at this point that it was pretty mutually understood that our relationship was coming to an end, that or neither of us were going to be happy. So, I brought it up to her... how things couldn't keep going on this road and it would be worse to stay together than simply separate. This sentiment was shared, so we peacefully broke up. We still keep in touch to this day, but both of us are seeing other people now. We don't have plans to get back together and honestly, I don't think I'd want to anyways.

>>59893 Yea, I will trust a person whos only mission is to contradict me.

>>59898 >I don't have an actual response so I'm gonna post smug anime face and say "nuh uh!" >I win because I got the last word!

>>59900 Your whole existence ITT can be summed up with "nu-uh" and the only reason you deleted your last "bye" was because you thought that your need for last word is petty. It is, but your neurotic deletion of that reply only shows how petty you really are.

>>59900 This doesn't sound like me at all. lmao (as in I'm actually laughing, not forcing insouciance with no self-awareness whatsoever) [spoiler][/spoiler]