Normal amount of loneliness

I could say I have four friends: Two wired, two in-person. I'll usually message with one of them every day, just pleasantries and checking in, video-calling with them maybe a couple times a week. With the non-wire friends, we'll talk sporadically, meet up maybe once every couple months. Outside that, I don't talk to anyone other than forced small-talk with family members, or maybe a message on IRC if I'm feeling brave. I regularly feel lonely, but I'm not sure if that's even fair to say. Compared to a few years ago, having zero friends, I'm objectively in a way better position. But still with this level of interaction I feel it. I guess it varies from person to person, but I want to know: lain, what do you consider the normal or acceptable amount of loneliness? How often are well-adjusted social people alone or lonely? What's the minimum amount of human contact you, personally, can have and feel sane, or even happy?

I'm well adjusted. I look like a frat bro to be honest. That said I'm far more comfortable being alone 99% of the time. My loneliness, if it could be described as that, is typically just boredom. I never seek social contact and since I stopped doing (light)drugs I've found myself far more isolated then I ever thought possible. It doesn't bother me I just wish I could put it to good use. Given that it's an aptitude, how do you think I can profit from it? My research interests have always been too wide in scope to really be productive. Jack of all trades since everything is just so god damn easy it can't hold my attention. I work one day a week and it's enough, beyond that I try to leave my house as little as possible. I'm not shy, either, really, I just legitimately don't care about what most people might have to say. Money isn't motivation enough, either. But I don't suffer any negative emotions beyond a nagging, complete lack of direction in life. Some purpose would be nice.

I think the normal acceptable amount of loneliness is a lot less than people think. Like I dont think you should feel lonely just because you are alone to a level where you are like crying or kicking and sceeaming. Not in some super labcoat way but I think most of our emotions have a function and should work for us to a degree. Like if I havent talked to anyone all week I can start to get lonely and it motivates me to reach out to someone. But say if I actually cant really reach out to anyone at the moment maybe everyones busy or im somewhere else I can for a very long time kind of go "but theres nothing to do about that right now, lets try to focus on something else" to myself every time I get lonely. Its not like it wont crop up but it crops up more in a way like as if im on some voyage out to sea and im missing home but its okay cause I know il return home eventually. I think if you really have no one then I think boredom is an almost better motivator to meet people. I know when I really had no one and id get lonely is actually just get more isolated cause when you dont have anyone loneliness is sort of overwhelming. I started meeting people cause eventually I was like fuarrrk it this existence is like kicking dead whales down the beach so bad even if I end up comitting social suicide in the process of putting myself out there at least it will be interesting or a story. And I did and it was. As in I made a fool of myself multiple times, acted like a freak, and it was indeed interesting and now I do have some good relationships and am now ironically probably the most level headed out of any of the people I know and my friends come to me a lot to ask if things they are doing make sense or are "normal" (not that that really matters). Speaking of normal I think its very normal to feel more lonely for a bit once you start interacting with people. I had the same experience, and I think its because compared to zero friends you now sort of see "oh so this is what people and relationships can do for me" compared to before where that was all mostly abstract. I dont really know how to I guess help (if you even need help) cause I think its just a new challenge you have to figure out which is naturally gonna be presented as you have this new experience of being in a better place relationship wise. Following that I think you will just naturally learn strategies to feel comfortable alone again while still having an amount of loneliness that serves as a reminder to keep in touch with people but isnt overwhelming here and there. A balance I guess. As long as you dont become jaded about people or about your loneliness I think thats all you have to do. As in just always hold it as a truth that "People and relationships have something important to offer me" but also simultaneously "I do not need people to be content and can find company in myself". Sorry if all this sounds overly optimistic or cliche, but if it can work for me than maybe it can work for you too.

I think the minimum acceptable level of loneliness is the level someone is prepared for. you could have a hikikomori who only interacts on the internet, who knows how to use it and is fine, or someone who doesn't even use the social internet and just plays games and reads and stuff, again they know how to be comfortable with these things. even in solitary confinement where you get nothing but maybe a book every now and then, there are people who have sought this out. monks who've entered caves to meditate or isolate. but you put your average man int he hole and he loses a few screws. my advice to find more comfort in loneliness is to find the friendship of what you have. ants in the cell, or even the demons in your head. you are never alone, and they can lock up your body but they can't lock up your mind.