Recovery From Psychosis

I decided to make a tasteful schizo thread, one that all the schizos/drug users/heavily personality disordered/bipolars of lainchan can contribute to in a constructive way. If you have experienced psychosis, what did you do to rebuild your (mental) health? Of course taking antipsychotic medication, even despite the horrible side effects, but is there anything else that works? Like some kind of drug, exercise, health food, that can make recovery go faster. And what would you recommend be done for the embarrassment that is caused by coming out of that state, but witnessing the trail of fire left over from your episode? Mine only last like 1-2 days on average so far (I don't have long lasting psychosis, Schizophrenia), and its very embarrassing remembering what I had done once I attain a clear head.

The most important thing is re-integrating yourself socially and/or finding new friends to hang out with. Living healthy always helps but the social fracture associated with psychosis hurts the most. Even though there will be some people that will fall away, in general your friends probably don't care as much as you do about your episodes. For you it was this awful thing that you experienced every second of, for them it was like 5% of their awareness at the time, about crazy Mike brewing soykaf again or whatever. The whole world's gone crazy if you haven't noticed so you probably blend in anyway. Also, don't rely on doctors to figure out everything for you, look up the medicine, figure out if there are any alternatives, figure out what your triggers are, look into supplements like glycine or even lithium orotate, anti-inflammatories etc.

I struggle with reality. Sometimes, big parts of my life, like all my interactions with mental-health related institutions, just disappear. They don't actually disappear, but they just feel like they're not there. Not that they're there but don't feel real, but like they literally were never there and I hallucinated the whole thing. And do please note that nobody's gaslighting me or anything like that. Just me myself out of nowhere having a very intense clarity-like feeling that that's all been some intricate hallucination. I know my reasoning faculties are in order, because I check and recheck them, both myself and with others (incl. mathematicians and/or scientists) so it'd have to be the data, if my strong feeling of those parts' irreality is correct. I think, though, by parsimony, that it makes more sense that I'm just having a small feeling that those big parts of my life were falsified by my own brain, but that feeling eats away at me sometimes: ``what if?'' Any help is appreciated, and I hope my experiences/processes I herein described will be helpful to y'all.

I'm not gonna lie and say I'm completely sane because I do have messed up thoughts but I really believe once I get of this garbage town I will get alot better.

>>56862 >I am able to do mathematical equations and scientific logic so that means I'm not schizophrenic (or psychotic). Psychosis seems to be a social disorder mainly, a disintegration of one's social identity, where the sufferer has a dreamlike view of themselves. I mean, look at someone like John Nash, or Terry A. Davis, they were able to still do mathematics despite their condition. If you're still able to keep up with social relationships at your work/school, then it's probably severe disassociation or something.

>>56866 >where the sufferer has a dreamlike view of themselves. I'm not >>56862 but what does that even me?

>>56867 Someone believes themselves to be the reincarnation of Christ (like Terry A. Davis), someone believes themselves to be important enough to be followed around by celebrities/the government, someone believes themselves to have some kind of special position in society (like being the president), etc... At least that's what Schizophrenia/Psychosis looks like from a social standpoint.

>>56868 sounds more like megalomania to me but I'm not an expert.

this smells like another bot/wage slave thread, just like that supposed 'deep digger schizoid' thread. Lains, i'd be wary replying earnestly to this.

Only suggestion i can offer is go some place out in the country for a week or even up to a month, try being out in nature for a while away from all this crap. It may be hazardous to guess but i think going back to baseline is one of the best things you can do, after all mental stuff tends to clutter and takes a while to clear.

>>I am able to do mathematical equations and scientific logic so that means I'm not schizophrenic (or psychotic). That's not what >>56862 said, >>56866, and a grave mischaracterization of what mathematics is. >>56862 said that a specific mental faculty of theirs is highly probably in good working order, based on multiple (good faith?) attempts at determination thereof, by multiple persons of sound mathematical/scientific mindsets, resulting in a consensus about those mental faculties of that person, that those mental faculties of that person are in good working order. They clearly stated that the issue is clearly either hallucination or derealization, with derealization being the more parsimonious option. Don't be a retard, >>56866, please. >>56868 >At least that's what Schizophrenia/Psychosis looks like from a social standpoint. If that's your whole angle, please keep quiet. These are personal psychological or neurological disorders, that happen to be exacerbated by a horrific society, not social disorders. To put it simply, schizophrenia is when the brain rots, and psychosis is when you believe false things. Megalomania and derealization might or might not be psychotic, potentially manifesting as grandiose feelings or feelings of irreality that might be difficult to restrain. (I've lived with both conditions at various times in my life, though never reaching psychotic levels.)

>>56865 Idk what the hell is wrong with me. I believe I'm on some spectrum or something like that. I'm functional, very productive but can't concentrate well outside my room. It hurts to live out there because when I'm out there I'm simply not me or struggling to not be strange. I'm gradually becoming better at this, but I can't fool myself and say that I'm that person. I'm obviously pretending. I'm constantly angry and irritated because life feels wrong the way it is, but when I stop to think, it has always been like that. I'm fully aware that I'm many, my ego is just some part of me in a way. Ego or persona, I guess. Myself is something of no clear definition in intimate terms because I'm many and there's a lot of dissonant narratives going on here. I know that immaterial beings exists and sometimes they talk to me, but they can only take partial control when I'm intoxicated, depending on the context. There's a clear difference between an external voice, inner voices and external voices pretending to be me, but I can feel it's deceitful. It's fuarrrking weird. Would like to dedicate my life to understand this instead of constantly fighting against it because professionally dealing with others is what's determining if I'm going to eat until the end of the month or not.

>>56859 There is only moral illness, if you do enough morally outrageous soykaf you're called a "psychopath", if you're morally outraged enough you're called a "schizophrenic". This goes all the way down the medical sciences which is a boon for doing away with superfluous experience/knowledge compartmentalization but more importantly, this model doesn't have a stupid ceiling like the "mental illness" sciences now presume exist.

First time poster. I think I’m on the spectrum, mentally challenged, and the med withdrawal psychosis ruined my life. My parents got me tested for autism as a child, and I ended up without a diagnosis. Then I was hand flapping at school one time and got made fun of for doing it so I stopped doing it in elementary school. I had few friends and dressed down because I was sexually abused and bullied. By junior high I had a group of friends and got along with some of the popular kids, went to parties, went to sleep overs. I started taking antidepressants because my home life was soykaf. I started to become manic. I did homeschool in 10th to 12th grade. I had developed mild psychosis during this time but it was manageable. I graduated high school and dropped out of community college and developed psychosis after trying to get off my medication cold turkey. I was hospitalized and diagnosed bipolar 1 with psychotic features and borderline personality disorder. I got off the antipsychotics and got back on prozac and adderall and developed psychosis from coming off adderall. Then several more stints in the hospital after becoming physically addicted to ativan. After tapering off with klonopin I was fine for many years until I went manic off coffee withdrawal. Went temporarily on the antipsychotics again and tapered off and started working full time. Managed to get employee of the month and eventually quit due to the lack of safety at work. I had a hard time sleeping and wanted to finish college so I took a little bit of the antipsychotic in hopes it would knock me out. I ended up developing psychosis when I stopped taking it. fuarrrk my life. I developed from what I think is dopamine super-sensitivity psychosis from the medicine and was on max dose of the antipsychotic seroquel and was still hallucinating and acting strange on it. Eventually I tapered onto abilify and stayed on a low dose of it ever since. I’m in my 30’s now and I just want to end my life every day.

>There is only moral illness, if you do enough morally outrageous soykaf you're called a "psychopath", if you're morally outraged enough you're called a "schizophrenic". This goes all the way down the medical sciences which is a boon for doing away with superfluous experience/knowledge compartmentalization but more importantly, this model doesn't have a stupid ceiling like the "mental illness" sciences now presume exist.

>>57310 >you will NOT copy this text with a soyjak pic

Yes there is something called targeted cognitive training (iiirc) that has shown some nice results in some studies. It's basically braingame type stuff. Most frequent one that ive seen that is accesible to public ive seen a few studies used BrainHQ.

So my psychosis story is kind of standard. Took 250ug of LSD in a bad set and setting. Got a bad trip, got scared for life. Psychosis was heavy and lasted few months but I started to integrate that experience into my everyday life. I am also going to psychologist and setting boundaries with other people and situations that I never did before. Overall occupying myself with things to do helps, understanding that it was a drug and not some kind of interdimensional thing also helps. I did microdose LSD after that but only to help me get through the psychosis, stopped doing drugs after that and cut all ties with bad influences people in my life (most of them in the drug world). All in all, finding a way to interact with this world in a constructive positive way is a way to go. Wasting time on spreading negativity, or responding to negativity with your own negativity is literally one of those circles of hell Dante wrote about where people crawl over each other in a lake.

>>57310 I used to 'flap my wings' when I coughed smoking. Sounds like all the pills, and your imagery, made you believe the pills would fix what's broken. I don't think you're broken.

I'm pretty scared of meds now... >Long-term antipsychotic treatment and brain volumes: a longitudinal study of first-episode schizophrenia >However, recent animal studies indicate that antipsychotics, the mainstay of treatment for schizophrenia patients, may also contribute to brain tissue volume decrement. Longer follow-up correlated with smaller brain tissue volumes and larger cerebrospinal fluid volumes. More antipsychotic treatment was associated with smaller gray matter volumes. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21300943/ >Do antipsychotic drugs affect brain structure? A systematic and critical review of MRI findings https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19338710/ >Benzodiazepines and risk of Alzheimer’s disease https://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g5312 response to the ↑article↑ >Yaffe, Boustani and Fairbanks (1) commented on a carefully conducted study that showed that exposure to benzodiazepines doubled the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease. They found it likely that use of benzodiazepines lead to permanent brain damage, which they called "neurodegenerative disease". My preference is to call a spade for a spade, which is more easily understood by the patients. It is less clear that we talk about a drug induced harm if we call it a “disease”. >We know that antipsychotics shrink the brain in a dose-dependent manner (4) and benzodiazepines, antidepressants and ADHD drugs also seem to cause permanent brain damage (5). Leading psychiatrists and the drug industry usually say that it is the disease that destroys people’s brain, but it is very likely the drugs that do it, which also animal studies have found. https://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g5312/rr/775731 (1) the article above this one (4) Ho BC, Andreasen NC, Ziebell S, Pierson R, Magnotta V. Long-term antipsychotic treatment and brain volumes: a longitudinal study of first-episode schizophrenia. Arch Gen Psychiatry 2011;68:128-37. (5) Whitaker R. Anatomy of an Epidemic. New York: Broadway Paperbacks; 2010. >The emperor's new drugs: medication and placebo in the treatment of depression https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25304538/

>>58175 Realistically I'm probably on the "schziophrenia spectrum" and have been since childhood. I was just pretty good at acting normal. Also, yes obviously you need to always, always, always, and I do mean always, bear in mind that you're dealing with narcissists, psychopaths, and braindead amoral normal people. Basically they're no different than animals, they're a lesser being. In accordance with this, when some drooling big eyed ape does a few brain imagining studies over a few years and then proclaims that neurodegeneration is a natural part of the underlying disease process which causes schizophrenia symptoms, you should think further and think hmmm..... wait a minute, antipsychotics used to be called chemical lobotomies, and even lithium is known to cause neurodegeneration (lithium shuffle, tardive dyskinesias, ataxia, and so on)... and given that some of these drugs are partial agonists with the expressed purpose of reducing communication between brain regions.... could it be, could, it be, that it's the drugs they're giving these people that are causing all the brain damage?! Could it be that there is actually an underlying damaging disease process, but the drugs act in synergy and vastly accelerate and amplify the damage?!?! Could it be the chemical you synthesize and put in the human body isn't just cleanly acting on the one target site you had in mind, to do the one thing you wanted, and is actually causing harm?!?! COULD IT BE?!?!?!?!? could it be that antioxidant support, fasting, iodine, gut microbiome, and dietary modification (eg removal of grains) could improve schizophrenia?!?!?!?!? Gee, I don't know. You know I don't have a PhD. I'm sure someone smarter than me has already thought about this. I should just trust the experts and go take my meds. If there was something better I'm sure they'd be telling. (not)

>>58175 >ADHD drugs also seem to cause permanent brain damage To add, I also suspect this to be true. I very briefly too adderall and vyvanse as a teenager and of course it rapidly induced amphetamine psychosis in my case (already dysregulated / sensitive dopamine system), and it took me many months to feel somewhat normal, and I suspect I never quite returned to baseline.

>>58177 /fit/ reporting, Gut Microbiome actually produces a huge portion of our brain chemicals, serotonin being an obviously relevant mood regulator at (iirc)a whopping 40% being created in your poop. I'd wager, given the cyclic nature of serotonin, we're probably not meant to 'make' any at all. Not that it's metabolically difficult, but would first a deficiency be required to signal that creation? GABA as well, the hormone that allows us to relax and mediates sleep, is produced in our gut in huge quantities that would allow for it as the predominant source. That doesn't mean many diseases are always curable. But I legitimately believe most diagnoses are bullshit. >Your son plays video games, sleeps all day and is moody about food from jacking off 12 times in a row? >Give him antipsychotic sleep aids that'll produce a healthy adult guaranteed

>>58181 supposedly semen is zink intense and second main user of zink is brain, so hardcore fappers can cause a zink shortage in brain that hampers functionality. The other universal problem is whether gaming or fapping - you're frying your reward center with high reward low effort stimulus which kills motivation for real tasks that take more effort and don't give as much frequent reward stimulus. The real problem is you can know everything and still do it. Society is collectively turning useless from improving its addiction traps to compete on the attention market and we have no wiring to escape. It reminds also of utilitarianism demon - one thing that provides maximum utility eats everything else and invalidates the entire concept of utilitarianism. Exact same thing happens here with the reward center.

>>58177 I think with the experimental non medication treatments under research can just be combined. Even if they dont work significantly on their own they may in combination. Most popular is supplementation with sarcosine.

Doc said the recovery can take multiple years. Currently, I can't watch TV, listen to music or play games because it makes the voices go crazy and that starts to annoy me. I can't read books while I'm on meds because the meds make me so tired that I can't concentrate or even understand what I'm trying to read (even if it's just posts on a chan).

>>59029 Doctors are absolutely retarded, who gives a fuarrrk what they think?

Many of you will dismiss this, but after many years of smoking weed and enjoying it with no notable drawbacks, I had a bout of paranoia and anxiety start during a smoke session and it didn't go away for 6+ months. It was debilitating; it was basically lost time, I didn't get any pleasure out of life. The only thing that helped was time and not smoking anymore. Ever since then, smoking has brought me back to square 1.

Its a balance. Been diagnosed scz for 5 or so years now. Finally found a med balance that A. reduces symptoms enough and B. doesn't make me feel like a zombie. I'm on low dosages of both my medications and sometimes bad soykaf crops up, but I've learned to just cope with it. Finding social activities and creative outlets helped a lot with that. I am concerned what the long-term effects of these medications will do to my brain, but the alternative is not really feasible. Make sure to keep good diet and exercise because basically all meds cause weight gain and lethargy.

>>56859 was in a month-long psychotic episode a couple of years ago, have had brief moments of relapse since then. honestly what's been the most helpful for me is finding people who can relate/understand. i've talked to a few people about it (online and off) and it's helped me realize that people can relate to this very scary thing and won't think of you any less of it. i can absolutely relate to the leftover shame though... even coming out of it and being like, god, what was i thinking? it's really lonely thinking you're the only one who's ever dealt with psychosis, but know you're not! there's people out there who've been through the same soykaf yknow?

In my case, nothing but meds and time has helped. It's been five years, I wish I could get off the meds but my schizophrenia is too severe to consider it. I don't feel half as good as I did before I was diagnosed, but I have no alternative. I've been told to meditate a lot, it has at times helped but at times made things worse. Somehow getting rid of all the daily noise in my head makes the bad soykaf feel closer.

>>59124 Dietary change (eg remove grains, all of them), nutrition, fasting, therapy. Get away from your current environment.

>>59682 >I think the chemical imbalance theory doesn't add up It's a myth, psychiatry already discarded that theory. For some reason laymen keep pretending it's real

>>59705 >psychiatry already discarded that theory Ha. >For some reason laymen keep pretending it's real Their delusions have help, duh.

>>59123 Not only have tons of people in modern society gone through it (with the accompanying stigma), it's basically a human universal. Various visions and the like are considered to be the origin of founding myths, religions, and destined fates around the world. Of course we are not all secretly shamans of some kind -- in modernity all are completely unmoored from the safe ties of myth and tradition that could provide shape to the visions and allow the surrounding community to reckon with and even rein them in if necessary, instead of treating the person like a leper with a disease. And so when the numinous moments or visions do occur, as they always have and always will, they are more likely to flood over the mind in a tsunami that could genuinely cause harm, which is properly termed psychosis.

>>57310 Look at this sad story for example - a healthy young child goes to doctor with some fairly typical behavioral or family problems, gets pumped for decades with a dizzying roller-coaster succession of high-power psych drugs, doesn't feel good and changes - wants to end his life every day! Seriously please just try Jesus or your local New Age yoga studio before you hand your body and mind over to some pharmaceutical salesman.

>>59047 Funny thing is, this is the exact opposite of me. Weed would make my anxiety and paranoia really bad. So, I tried an experiment where I just got high all the time and forced myself to go out into the world. Anxiety/paranoia gone, even off weed save for really stressful situations of sorts. Then one day while I had been actually abusing weed, I had a psychotic break. Visuals and everything. As well as a voice that wasn't my internal monologue. I was watching clouds turn into things I commanded them to, until one turned into God and a voice told me so. As an atheist, I was like nah, this is my literal worst nightmare. After that, weed was starting to make me manic, and the only time ever felt manic in my life was SSRIs. I ditched weed altogether now. I believe that people who become very paranoid on weed are either already on the schizophrenic spectrum, or obviously have the genetics for it.

Consideration of psychosis as legitimate enables sham psychiatry to organize psychosis. Psychiatrists want psychosis, psychiatrists want use of means with horrible side effects. Shrinks shrink brains with brain shrinking medications.

I have been tapering myself off Zyprexa/Olanzapine for a while now. I have lowered the doze in the smallest steps I have been able and I have used the doze for 2-3 weeks before lowering it again. Now I'm taking 2.5mg but sometimes I still need to take 5mg. Overall, this new doze is better than the larger dozes. I'm less sleepy during the day and I function better overall. But your situation might be different though. I'm thinking about possibly discontinuing Zyprexa completely this fall but I'm not sure yet. Benzos (Diazepam) have been helpful for sleep because I have been a little restless for 3-4 days after switching to a lower doze. The restlessness has stopped after 3-4 days on new doze.

>>62274 >Very accurate. So what if you're crazy? Just got to be a good person. Exactly. My response is somewhat that of dr Steele. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCE7hOgXVEM&ab_channel=AnimeFanatic5602

You might be interested in this paper (especially Table 2.): >Dose Equivalents for Second-Generation Antipsychotics: The Minimum Effective Dose Method >https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3932104/

>>68318 Describe the work environment. Note anything you think could be relevant.

>>68319 It was just your regular office basically. I had a bad relationship with some of the other wagies but that's all. It was my first normal job after two years as a hiki. I remember similar experiences in the past, at the end of high school and during college, but these only lasted a month or so and I never bothered telling anyone. I guess the only connection is when I have extreme feelings that my world is falling apart, that I'm not succeeding, that people hate me etc. Could it be stress related?

i can't tell if my psychosis has stopped or not i will not go back on medication. i will not change my lifestyle. i don't know how to change my friends. i can manage whatever this is right now

TW: demon Someone close to me who was a life-time "schizophrenic" recently successfully stopped taking their medication without issues. So does anyone here have experience tapering off of anti-psychotics? I have an issue not related to brain chemistry that makes it difficult for me to reduce my dose. Basically, I'm "haunted" by a demonic creature born out of my imagination, a holdover from my psychotic episodes years ago. It comes out in moments of stress. It's just a mild hallucination when it appears but it bothers me enough to cause distress. To get down to my present dose, I have in the past reduced my medications quite a bit, and the usual pattern was an increased contact with "it" and agitated dreams for about 5 days, then a return to normal. But lately I cannot seem to handle the adjustment period to reduce my dose further. While "it" appears more rarely than before, it still appears briefly every couple days and further progress has halted. Anyone have any ideas to deal with this problem so I can finally get off the meds or at least reduce my dose? I have been meditating which helps me avoid thinking thoughts about it, but progress is really slow. Please don't suggest any ritual or religious/magic nonsense, even if it worked it would be extremely temporary. I keep feeding it involuntarily with my attention, so long as I do so I know it will always come back. This is literally the only thing keeping me on anti-psychotics, I have no other symptoms and strongly suspect I wouldn't have any even if I was off the meds. Help?

>>68435 Talk to a priest. Seriously. I think a Catholic exorcist would be a very good person to talk to. An Orthodox priest would be good too. Is there anyone like that in your area? For what it's worth, my pen moved when I was writing this message. It could have slipped or I cold have bumped it, but that was weird. I made the sign of the Cross.

>>68435 Don't lower the dose without psych approval. I did two times. One went without any problems. The other time i relapsed into psychotic episodes. As for the "demon", at least you're not delirious because you can clearly distinguish between the hallucination and reality. What does the "demon" say or what do you feel? I'm speaking out of my ass in this one but maybe there's a root problem to adress, perhaps something in particular about the stressfull situations. How do you approach these, or how do you behave while in it?

>>68435 It could help to try to resolve things within your dreams. You mention meditating to suppress thoughts about it, and seem to have an intuition that the solution has to be avoiding thinking about it. While it's probably true that you should avoid doing that too much, you don't suppress a worry by willing it away, there needs to be some acknowledgement to process things. I didn't actually hallucinate but when I was young there was this thing that persistently stalked and assaulted me in my dreams, felt very real and I didn't believe it would stay in dreams. What felt like what I had to do was run away, try to wake up, try to avoid doing things while awake that felt "cursed" and would risk the situation getting worse. But that didn't help, it only got better when I decided to actively seek it out in the dreams and not look away or run.

>>68439 >even if an exorcism worked as it is supposed to, after a brief respite it would just come back the instant I called it to mind again Not him -- I'm dealing with something very similar if not the same -- but I'm partial to the idea that it is indeed something metaphysical that isn't originated from the mind; not a tulpa but a 'demon' or whatever label may it be. I never did fuarrrk with a trad Catholic or Ortho exorcist, but I did with a Judeo remote exorcist (allegedly never failed an exorcism in his 40 years of work), a new age remote healer, a druid in person, and some demon-buddied internet dude that wasn't trying to exorcise but instead just sent his demon to eat my malicious entity. All failed spectacularly. Now I've experienced enough with my entity to know it can interact outside of myself. It can communicate with others psychically, manipulate objects, and even attach to others to manipulate them without their knowing. I've had physical messages written for me multiple times and various psychics besides the above acknowledge and accurately describe it as well. My current theory is that these entities are in fact wildly common. Judeo descriptions of possession is indeed very different from attachment. The latter is much like the former, but to a much lesser degree. You still have sovereign of your mind and body, but it can be manipulated in a very fluid matter that is very tough for yourself or any outside observer to identify. They are also intelligent enough to hide or protect themselves when in danger, and have enough capacity for deceit that they can have red herrings chase red herrings, or even convince you they're something wildly different like an angel if you're not wise to them. As an aside, the aforementioned Judeo healer mentioned he never had an entity disobey the word of God. Naturally I've gained suspicious of those religions as a whole from that. They don't speak of attachments like this in any capacity similar to possession, and along with Hollywood and the ilk bring a rather extreme idea of what interaction with malicious spirits is like. It's subtle and takes a lot of work to identify its actions as distinct from one's own. It plays a lot with energy and emotion, making you moody, tired, foggy, sociable, or whatever with ease. It's that thing that finds your weaknesses and multiplies them, whether that be propensity for becoming and falling to addiction, anger, or so on. It can cause vague physical discomfort and make a hypochondriac out of you. These affects can certainly be ameliorated with recognition, but the double edged sword is that you will strengthen its level of attachment to you. The interesting thing though, is once you recognize it well you end up seeing this sort of unnatural physio/psychological tug of war as it manifests in others. I'm wholly convinced that this is a very old sickness in humanity that more people than not struggle with. All that said, it takes a strong will to tango directly with such a thing. There is a great value in just not knowing about it, and fighting it indirectly by not acknowledging it and treating the issues as your own. I would in fact recommend that unless it has gotten really bad... in that case just be mindful of the patterns, and don't take your transgressions of behavior personal. For you, just keep on keeping on and ignore the bugger.

>>68439 More than a loss of fear I would describe the process as consuming, accepting and absorbing. I believe that ultimately all of my avoidance, all the building up a notion of the entity and its rules and threat, even evasively, gave it space and autonomy. There was a physical space aspect, where it had a sort of nest that I felt terrible things would happen if I went there in a dream, but eventually I did and it actually helped a lot, so I think your plan of walking to the spot you've avoided is good.

>>62266 He's good at pointing at how cruel psychiatry is and that it's really judgemental moralism or a blatant cash grab. Problem I have with Szasz is that his whole argument is that it's not real medicine, as if there is such a thing as a real authentic medicine. I hate saying this, but I prefer Foucault. He asks a more interesting question, what role does the word 'mentally ill' play in our culture? Whose interests does it serve? How is it used to shore up a politically invented idea of truth? How does it promote one way of thinking while being used to suppress another? Thinking about how institutions control and manipulate us by shaping the way we think really helped me through my diagnosis, helped me make sense of what was happening to me in the sense of how I was being labelled, how that label defined my place in society and in the psychiatric system, how labels came to define my existence and how everything I did was interpreted as a symptom of some underlying disease even if it's benign behavior and everybody does it.

>>68455 >It sounds like you're not so lucky. It's tough to say to be honest. Sure, soykaf was rough when this entity decided to make itself known about five years ago. It was like reverse schizophrenia, totally top-loaded with the worst and most fantastic in the beginning; an unveiling. Right now it's a bit more like that one episode of Black Mirror, where the wife dies and the father decides to have his wife's consciousness installed into his mind. It's not an ideal relationship, but it's slowly getting more friendly. Any sort of psychotic break only lasted a few hours and hasn't happened in years, and I can only say it was only due to the frustration of feeling stonewalled from improving things. I can now mostly live life feeling truly neurotypical as can be, but there is something deeper going on I cannot ignore. But, also in regard to my thoughts of actually ignoring it and avoiding attribution, I think I'm past that sort of point. As I had mentioned, I've noticed its affects were always a thing in my life. Literally some of my earliest memories were of its influence, but I had no contextualization for it, instead thinking it was just the weird nature of consciousness and reality. I learned why there was once no silencing of the mind, and now can modulate that to a deep level. Why my feelings don't match up with my experience, having just lived with even some extreme desync that I had ignored as an oddity. Or what that common aspect was behind all of my nightmares and dissociative days, particularly during my elementary school years. The sometimes shared paranormal experiences. The memory and attention issues, of which are harder to solve sure, but I have many times seen directly modulated in response to my interactions as if witnessing the levers being pulled. Where and why the pervading psychological events and periods of life happened and ended. Where intuition and inspiration have most commonly arisen from, from desire to personal prophecies. Why my thought process has always been a conversation and debate. Where so much of that religious aspect arises from. Why I have never felt lonely no matter how alone I was. And so much more. I learned the deep truth of how I operate. It's not just my mind, but a complex relationship of collaborative mind. So at least in my case, I feel like truly achieving full un-acknowledgement of this phenomenon would be merely choosing to be oblivious of this process. It was always there, this entity was always here, but decided to be known. Not only that, but the drumbeat of psychology does not seem at all unique to myself. Few seem to have this pandora's box open, but I notice this pattern and condition in others. I can't say much on actual psychic phenomenon, but what is plainly expressed in others shows me clearly the divide in the dominant consciousness and that which remains hidden in each person I interact with. It's often the shadow in others, when they slip in self-control and inhibition, but it's also the subtle beats, the motivated drive, the familiar and comfortable people settle in. It's a dance I see everybody partaking in, and I can understand the struggle and heart of others and get a good measure of people. I have a lot of compassion for people and their own idiosyncrasies. It's even fun, calling out this other side of people, and seeing that second spark light up behind their eyes, all while the exoteric psyche feels that something deeper being hit. Maybe I'm blessed. Maybe I could find that one objective smoking gun show to the world, but for now there's still more to dig in to. I don't, well, as I like to describe it, become dazzled by the spectacle of it all. This all fits into an objective reality, with a constant and predictable state, but from an outside perspective it's an absolute assault on theory of mind and a near impossible pill to swallow. It's so familiar and fluid this dance, I sure know it takes a lot to be convinced it's happening. I'll be happy to keep on keeping on until then. I'm not entirely invested in that deep understanding, as I feel above all else is to live and enjoy my life, and not really crack this mystery... but it'd be cool as hell if I managed that. A phrase that my former buddy that oozed of divine madness once said is, "Everybody is schizophrenic, you're just smart enough to realize you are."

>>68489 When I say to avoid ascribing events to your entity, I don't mean you should be oblivious. I hint at a process that over long periods of time would rob your entity of power. One part of my psychosis that lingered even after I was on meds was that crows would talk to me in their caws. Whenever I heard a crow caw, I would hear a few words stuffed inside. I decided to end it. Every time I heard a crow caw, I would try to identify the part of me that spoke the words I heard. Slowly, I became able. As I became more familiar with this process of external events borrowing my voice, I began to deny it the power to speak the instant it appeared (really, I just refused to say the words). Over the course of a couple months it stopped completely. It sounds like yours is a manifestation of something deeper inside you. You shouldn't try to destroy whatever is inside, but its outward manifestation as an entity and its power over your life can be controlled and reduced. You say your relationship with it is becoming more friendly, so I have to warn you if you take drastic measures to control it, things may get considerably more adversarial. May - you know better than me. I don't believe merely recognizing your voice inside it and gradually, gently gaining control will cause any harm though. I'm trying to apply this process to mine, but there's a fear and avoidance dynamic that I didn't have with the crows. At least I've been able to prevent it from becoming a major fixture in my life, it's more of a lingering pest.

>>68522 History of Madness and Birth of the Clinic are the books where he deals with psychiatry/medicine directly, but they are his early immature works and make for difficult reading. Discipline and Punish, History of Sexuality Vol 1. and Birth of Biopolitics are his later books, these are mercifully shorter and make for easier reading so I'd start there. Either way, he asks the same questions about institutions and bureaucracy and the relationship between power and scientific knowledge.

>>56859 I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think discussing illegal drug use is beneficial for anyone, especially not for those who suffer from mental illnesses. Antipsychotic medication is the way to go if you want to recover from your psychosis, and any other treatment should be prescribed and guided by a licensed professional. As for the embarrassment, it's understandable to feel that way, but everyone has their low moments and the best thing to do is to focus on the present and work towards a better future.

Also, I have heard that NAC (N-AcetylCysteine), vitamin D (at least 20µg or 800 IU) and high quality non-rancid Omega-3 supplements can help. I recommend finding Omega-3 supplement that contains also some antioxidants like vitamin C or vitamin E (I recommend against taking high doses of vitamin E). Also, store it in the fridge. Maybe there are also other supplements that can help. I have read about studies made on CBD that seems very promising! I need to also read more about Carnosine/Acetylcarnosine...

>>75936 During the millennial ADHD epidemic, kids would get put on them early. I remember all of my friends (born in the early 90s) were diagnosed with it by middle school, despite the schools also cutting back on outdoor time, and parents just wanting kids who would shut up and read a book in school and didn't cause problems for the teachers. My parents who were teachers did not believe in ADHD or at least in it being as widespread as the diagnosis. The difference now is that children have endless stimulation to keep them occupied. It's like leaning right into ADHD but substituting natural stimuli for synthetic digital worlds. Think about how much data you are bombarded with on a walk outside: Birds, light, heat, cold, shade, smells, ground texture, flowers, color, insects, people. Replace that with a screen and you can make up for the data without changing the persons physical state. Some places in America they inject babies with amphetamines fresh out of the womb because there is a strong chance the mother lied about being on amphetamines during pregnancy and so it is likely the baby would be going through withdrawals.

>>82080 NAC ideally should be taken with glycine. It is sold as GlyNAC. Taking vitamin E has negative health effects. It is better to get vitamin E from food.

looking back i can see how it got triggered and where it led my astray. but its like cutouts from newspapers and magazines and creating a collage. you regognize the ads, and you have seen them, but the combination is weird, and still in itself is coherent. yes, i was and still am embarrassed by the trail of damage. but i am certain i can only carry so much of the responsibility. and most important of all, i have understood, that my psychotic outbreaks carry truth in them. you got to destille it, decode its themes and dynamics, its like your gut feeling bursting its way out of your pounding heart. i for one will try to keep a regular sleep and eating habit, trying to avoid prolong stress and re-triggering. but my psychosis showed me with all its nature, whom and what i should not have in my life. finally i can rebuild my health with a certain appreciation for my brokeness, it was ultimately trying to help me. now i take vit. d3, omega oil, as many proteins i can get. i believe it is aiding in recovery.

>>56859 If your female (or transgender? Not sure if this has been studied) there's a significant body of evidence that low estrogen levels may aggravate schizophrenia https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8048738/ Probably not applicable to most lains but it may be something to look into for some of you.

>>86203 not op but there could be something about it. sure i had weird things since always, but i can say not eating well for long time makes psyche too vulnerable, since estrogen is stored in fat would make sense

>>86203 Schizophrenia symptoms are worse in males. This is part of why there has been research into using Raloxifene as a treatment. It is estrogenic in the brain, bones, skin, and fat deposits but doesnt cause breast growth. But currently most promising medication in development is a class known as TAAR1 agonists. Studies so far show they have basically no major side effects. >>86211 Schizophrenics are more at risk of developing diabetes. It's thought part of the condition may be related to insulin resistance causing neurons to be not getting energy they need. So this lead to ketogenic diets as a topic of research. But really a Mediterranean diet also likely would be good.

>>56859 Why don't the psychiatrists confirm the need of neuroleptic treatment by periodically scanning the brain? They can do SPECT scans on people with Parkinson's to determine the activity of their dopamine system in their brains. Another thing. I'm also worried that neuroleptic treatment can cause the brain to adapt (basically resist the drug) and cause more new dopamine receptors to be grown. I know that sometimes antipsychotic drugs are necessary when someone has acute psychotic episode but I'm starting to doubt their usefulness in long-term treatment.

>>86221 Dopamine theory of schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder was never really proven as the cause just one of the traits of the condition. In long term treatment they actually lower remission and recovery rates. You see this in third world countries more schizophrenics do okay because they couldnt afford to be on antipsychotics all the time. Though not to exaggerate many continue to have problems off meds and those ones are who need longer term medication or other kinds of treatment options. That said you should never immediately stop taking any medication. Doing so can trigger a psychotic episode. One has to gradually reduce dosage following a hyperbolic curve.

Maybe the paradigm has started to shift a bit? There is a drug that combines Xanomeline and trospium. They don't antagonise or have any action on dopamine receptors. Instead this combination drug combines an anticholinergic drug (that does not cross the brain-blood barrier) and a muscarinic agonist. The FDA has approved it for treating schizophrenia. I would like to try it ASAP but I'm from Europe. I hate antipsychotics so much because they make me mentally slow and I'm also too tired. They do also cause some other side-effects but these are worst ones. >>56859 I think that the best way to cope is to learn to live with some hallucinations. >https://www.wsj.com/health/schizophrenia-treatment-psychosis-cure-957b02f7

>>86622 The most promising meds in development are TAAR-1 agonists.

>>87073 Can you tell me more about them?

>>56859 I had to rest for 3 days. Still met friends, but I was mostly just lying somewhere dark and quiet. I had a weird neurological tick that went from my lower back upwards to my neck along my spine. I stopped smoking weed immediatly after the psychosis and smoked only for testing after that. Before that incident I regularly smoked at parties but now I was getting instant tachycardia, heavy dizziness and panic/schizophrenic thoughts. After 3 months I could forget the experience, and except for not smoking weed, I live normal again. I think at the point of the psychosis I was still under the influence of some strong sedatives from the hospital, where I was 3 days prior to the psychosis because of a hard hypoglycemia. The EMT treating me started asphyxating me, so I stop jerking around, but as I was being asphyxated I freaked out even more and they gave me some REALLY strong sedative, I don't remember the name, unfortunately. Even if the sedative was the main reason for the psychosis, the experience of being strangled to "death" left me deeply scarred for life and I'm chronically suicidal now.

Reminder if any of you are on any meds, check your drug's half-life. I asked my doctor to split one of my medications so I take it twice a day instead of once, because it had a very short half-life of only a few hours and was causing all kinds of bad side-effects after I took it. I'm doing better now on the same dose but it's wild nobody realized this was going on until I asked about it.

>>92071 Doctors are more specialized on which meds to use for what condition (although they can screw this up by not knowing enough about some meds sometimes) but not as good as pharmacists as to what meds cause what side effects and their halflife.

>>90398 Didn't see this message till now. TAAR1 agonists are still in the research phase not yet on market. Basically from what I've heard they have a lot less side effects and helps positive symptoms but also negative symptoms than usual antipsychotics. So you want to keep an eye on drugs like Ulotaront and see if they show up in market or clinical trials you can try to get in on since the FDA granted the drug candidate Breakthrough Therapy Designation for treatment of schizophrenia back in 2019 which doesnt mean it is highly effective in trials, it just means it's given priority so if it does well it will wind up in the market sooner than some other medication. https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/taar1-agonism-a-novel-approach-to-treating-schizophrenia https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36369028/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38110609/