How Do I Delete KiwiFarms and Related Sites From My Brain?

I've been addicted to Kiwifarms since I was say 14 (I'm of age now, don't report this thread), and it has taken a toll on my mental health and self esteem. Especially at 14, I would compare myself to lolcows, and internalize what was being said about them, despite every single 14 year old being basically a lowcow, and I believe that this slow internalization over many years, has contributed to the "negative filtering" and very low self esteem that I suffer from today. I even still find myself going back to that site, despite the content being of so low quality, because I feel the need project my own feelings of valuelessness onto 30 year old narcissistic manchildren. It was interesting when I was younger, getting exposed to all of this information on social rejects and severe mental illness, but now I just get a "sick" feeling when I visit a site like that. I legitimately don't care about the lives of these lowcows, but I find myself constantly coming back for more, and I would like to just stop. It depresses me being on that site, but I can't stop myself from going there. Sure it is better than a normal person social media platform, but it still is unproductive, and a waste of my time, and the hate on there isn't good for anyone's mental health. It has even impacted my self esteem, and has contributed to my mental illnesses, but I still can't stop... I legitimately don't care what trannies, furries, tiktok teens, consoomers, etc., do with their time, but I just can't stop myself from taking a peek at what's going on... I've gotten better as of late, but maybe a few times a week I boot it up, and it majorly depresses me. How would I combat this?

At least you didn't spend a lot of your younger days in chaotic evil time of early 4chan. If you only knew what I saw. Just get away from the screen is my best suggestion. A lot of it will heal with time.

>>55709 I spent time on 4chan, but it wasn't good for most discussions I wanted to have. I spend time on Lainchan, having come here to escape 4chan, but eventually I saturate it with my posts, and watch them die anyway. Now, I most enjoy writing for my website, among other things, and it fills me with a joy so much greater than that of those. Become a creative person who builds things. Begin to learn things, like another human language, and let these things overwhelm instead.

like any other habit decide you want to change it and go off it. with enough time you will get a new habit of being away from it.

Write down a few different activities you like to do, but don't do as much as you'd like. Whenever you think about kiwifarms, go do one of those instead. Hanging out with people IRL and actively being nice to random people just for the sake of being nice helps. Spreading kindness and seeing the reactions and impact that has is more fun than watching people spread hate, as cliche and juvenile as that advice sounds.

>>55709 I want to delete all memories about tech

> Sure it is better than a normal person social media platform No, it's not. Anyway, you need to find yourself a hobby to do instead of visiting that site. Also, install an extension (like leechblock) to block that website. You obviously can bypass it if you want, but at least it stops you from visiting the site on autopilot

don't forget. if you were meant to forget you would forget. that site is a temple for demons to take the pleasure of keeping account of God's people for judgment lmao. just don't post unless you want to be a demon and don't judge unless you think you're God. if you're within those guidelines it's quite the interesting meme.

>>55709 You can't, get rekt

I don't get the big deal. I only went there for the occasional chris chan updates or the byuu saga, or when shooting videos are very hard to find elsewhere. why do you like it so much?

>>55727 Become a demon, you say? I think I'll make a 'farms account this week.

> Sure it is better than a normal person social media platform Not really... Have you tried adding it to your /etc/hosts file? You are able to circumvent it, but having both something else to do and making it hard to access the site should help ween you off of it.

>>55730 Misery enjoys company.

>>55776 careful becoming a demon. some of em are good guys but the culture is so toxic. the trend is to suck satans cock day and night. but at least in hell praising God is edgy.

>>55829 But what if I like sucking cocks, lain? What if I just happen to be a cute and slightly feminine boy who likes smelling and tasting other boys?

>>55831 Then you'll end up in hell irregardless.

>>55776 >sacrifice demands friends >friends not acquaintances >no demonhood for you buckaroo thanks for the free sacrifices though

>>55709 I was in a very similar situation as you when I was a teenager. I browsed imageboards, kiwifarms (never made an account there though), encyclopediadramatica, and all that other stuff for laughs (especially to laugh at cows like Chrischan). But then once I got older, I felt like a terrible/toxic person for devoting negative energy on 'cows', and felt as if I shouldn't waste my time on such, since there are more better and more important things to do (Why should you care about what other people are doing?). It's really hard to remove yourself from it all but you have to try, the process is gradual. I'd say focus on a hobby and try to limit your social media/internet time. Also block the connection to the site as well, if you know how to do that of course.

>>55833 Who says I don't have friends hmm?

>>55866 demon says your friends aquaintence-zoned you. Next level of getting friendzoned by love interest.

>>55709 my advice is to self sabotage and get derezzed i quit 4chan a while back by posting in one of those "roll gets and leave forever" threads. was looking for a reason to leave anyway. or if you have the discipline, just tell yourself no everytime you feel the impulse to browse there. after like a month, the habit will have shifted

>>55709 need to find a better site. Never liked kiwi farms because it just felt like most of the user base needed their own page. Making fun of some dork is fine but straight up stalking people is creepy. As for how to quit I guess find some new form of entertainment.

>>55709 I would suggest to visit other sites like >>57540 mentions that would be more worth your time to let off steam. A few different areas for fun I would say is 1.Saltybet which I always find entertaining to bet on characters and different universes and it runs 24/7 you can also bet fake money on the site it just watch battles. 2. Newgrounds which is a site for Animators it might be a bit slower but there is still a lot of activity happening there. 3. Tcrf.net for video game beta content Yes it's not perfect but at least it has something new happening all the time.

>>55709 >I legitimately don't care what trannies, furries, tiktok teens, consoomers, etc., do with their time For example, I (tranny) for the last week spent my time mostly on flashbacks, psychosis and trauma signs and symptoms, and nightmares at night, because I feel guilty for treating people like garbage on the Internet and because I didn't stop World War II and didn;t manage to save the people gassed in the gas chambers, and I also don't have the courage to ask my father who my grandfather was, which all together contribute to deeply internalised, and subconsciously felt feeling that I don't deserve being human, which, by the way, makes it impossible for me to even talk about it with a therapist because I can't admit it to myself in my native language. Normal life, each of us has some darkness inside. >How would I combat this? Forgive yourself I think. We're all just people I think.

>>57964 I laughed so hard

>>57964 >>57965 arisu where are you

>>55709 >Sure it is better than a normal person social media platform It isn't, stop telling yourself that.

You need to quit cold turkey, there really isn't any other way. I had to do the same with most image boards and most social media. You say you can't, but you have more control over your behavior than you seem to think. You just need something to replace it with that isn't toxic nonsense.

>>58009 I second this. I have been trying to quit YT and 4chan over the past couple years. I succeeded with YT first, although I relapsed a few months in, then I stopped going on 4chan and I've been clean. Today, I blocked Invidious. I'm going to try to spend time on my personal projects and on Matrix talking to people instead. And of course, good old fashioned books.

>>58013 I added youtube to my /etc/hosts but I fuarrrked it up so only youtube.com doesn't load but I can load a video then navigate back to the main page. I remembered lainchan tonight thinking I could find better posts than 4ch. It's funny though bc if anyone tries to make a real-life related post, they can be viewed as narcissistic/self-promoting. blessing and curse to be disconnected. What are you reading? I'm resuming the casteneda series.

How do I delete Lainchan from my brain? It depresses me being on that site, but I can't stop myself from going there. Sure it is better than a normal person social media platform, but it still is unproductive, and a waste of my time, and the hate on there isn't good for anyone's mental health. It has even impacted my self esteem, and has contributed to my mental illnesses, but I still can't stop...

>>58099 Tell Lainchan that it is CLAMPED etc and it will delete YOU from ITS brain! More directly to your question, here is how you "delete" memories. One of several ways, actually. Basically, first learn to structure and sort your memories. Arrange them into webs, associative trees, weighted by probability or whatever, and see if you can get information to actually store int he way you want. If you're able to do this, doing the inverse is just as easy, whether it be removing or altering something that already exists or preventing storage in the first place. So when you recollect something, draw it and the entire web its part of, into the forefront of your mind. Hold it there, and begin recursively stripping all associative links between other macro "nodes", and the thing you do not want to remember. Keep doing this every time it comes to mind, look for what it conencts to, sever those links. Eventually you have neither cause nor means to recollect, as no connection will exist to spur it. It's probably still "there", it just isn't indexed or readily addressable. The other approach is to compartmentalize. Either split yourself into pieces, or create an inner entity that has an object. It can be your internal representation of a familiar object that exists in your external world (sympathetic magic), or it can be fabricated and not exist externally. When you have something you don't want, call forth the entity or do whatever you have set up such that you may gain access to the object, and then put your memories into the object. Then send the object away. Since it holds the memories, out of sight, out of mind. You can also turn your memory into an object and place it elsewhere. Or make another you, give it a name if desired, and say "all of this happened to someone else, you". And send them away. Names have power, of course. You can do it spatially. Memory palace, move memories around and place them in locked rooms, hidden rooms, disguise them as everyday objects, whatever. Otherwise, just stop coming to Lainchan and gradually it will fade and that which came from it will be gradually supplanted. Overwritten. Test all things, hold fast to what is true. Or appears to be more likely true. This is probably the best approach, rather than low level tampering with your psyche. I am also dealing with mind pollution, but cannot muster the will or clarity of direction to deal with it as yet. Good luck. Unclamp.

>>55709 You basically subjected yourself to narcissistic and psychopathic abuse by proxy. Indeed, if you have any insight at all, mere (and especialyl prolonged) exposure to other people being ridiculed, picked apart, and humiliated, will have a chilling effect and cause you to also generate a "false self" you use to interact with others. Such that you will not be attacked, and it will not be you who the herd next turns on for its perverse pleasures. Recognize a few things. 1) You desire. You desired to fit in, be successful, get along, avoid pain, and so on. 2) You fear. You fear yourself, you think you could not stand up to them all, their judgements, and whatever they might do to you. This is what gives their introjects power. 3) Most of the users there, in real life, are most likely total losers many of whom have suffered the same initiation and inculcation process you have. Very few are actually proper NPD, psychopath, whatever (though these types are the core "pacemaker" cells of such communities). They have nothing to give you, they are not useful to you, they are nothing. 4) Learn to step outside of yourself and watch your internal processes from a detached and external perspective. This will allow you to feel as though you are in control. So what if they say and think this that or the other? They are here for your use, not the inverse. Deconstruct and make use of what they say however you will. You are in control. 5) Have goals and really think about what you value and the realistic long term effects of any given belief system or action. Think of things as a matter of utility, turn all things to use. 6) Get the abuser's voices out of your head. Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's true. Just because something within you says something, doesn't mean it's you or your voice. Many of them were other people's voices and emotions planted in you (introjection) from early childhood, they become as though they are your voice and a part of you, but they really aren't. Not truly or deeply. 7) Adopt some narcissistic defenses of your own, for the lulz. Assume people disagreeing with and mocking you is simply further evidence that they are jealous, weak, or inferior. Not "different and equally valid", but simply inferior. Hence why they are giving you so much attention, they have so much need, they want, they are searching and if they chose you, it means you have something they do not. I mean look, don't go overboard obviously, but don't exclude this angle from your realm of consideration either. It's the classic "you're just mad because I'm better than you, lol". Sounds narcissistic, right? Well, sometimes it's just plain true. False humility and casting pearls before swine is just as dysfunctional, and some environments really are like crabs in a bucket. 8) Transcend based and cringe. Go beyond the inform and the bluepill. Transcend pills (ie archetypes, narratives, compartments). Deconstruct and synthesize for yourself, think in terms of what produces the ideal and gets you what you want. 9) Feeling conflicted or terrible is not desired or ideal, but ultimately is irrelevant. Feelings don't have control over you, you can feel one thing and do another. eg you're having an awful day but it's a special event for someone else and you don't want to mess it up, so you don't make that state outwardly manifest. 10) Perhaps look within and see whether you're split into pieces internally. Most likely you're not a single contiguous person (nor should you be imo). This can be exploited, you can get these different parts to observe each other or work together, and they can draw out and reconcile such conflicts and fears. Easier said than done, but hope some of this is useful. I think what I focus on is not being "of" or "within". Even if I'm "in" or "amidst" something, I still maintain the perspective of something apart and watching it all from the outside. You may be continuing to have these thoughts because you're still "part of" kiwifarms (not the inverse), and therefore "within". It's being on the street and looking from sattelite view, very different.

>>58106 >It's the classic "you're just mad because I'm better than you, lol". Sounds narcissistic, right? Well, sometimes it's just plain true. False humility and casting pearls before swine is just as dysfunctional, and some environments really are like crabs in a bucket. And to clarify further here, it doesn't even need to be true. What matters is that THEY think it's true. This begins the process of projective identification, another way people get into your head and try to turn you into them. They might act as though, or even say, "you just think you're better than everyone else" You just think this. You just think that. It's ssoooo obvious you think this and that and you should do this and that, don't deny it. And so on. Which whether directed at you, or someone else, intends to gradually wear you down and get you thinking "well, do I act like I'm better than everyone? If so, does that mean I think it too? Are they right? Is everyone secretly thinking this about me? Does everyone secretly hate me?" This is the process of the abuser easing their own inner turmoil by making you think you're like them, and getting you to confirm and begin to reflect back their view of you as the truth. It's a subset of projection and they're trying to put you into their script and view of reality. Point being, it's not about what you think is true, nor what is actually true, it's just a matter of what they experience as true. And this is what they'll act on and blame you for. It can be quite insidious.

>>58106 >Go beyond the inform and the bluepill. >inform Huh, is this a word filter? inform.

>>55709 Block it. Will power is unlikely to work. Block it on every single device you can. I've also indulged in that community and it's soul sucking. Meanwhile as others have said, find other sites to go to when you get an itch.

>>58106 This is very useful

>>58105 I don't think it's too healthy for a brain. I think self-forgiving and changing your sense of humor from aggressive against other people to sympathetic and self-caring, and realising that the things we laugh at are only our projections and only exist in our mind, work better for coping. This is good I think: >>58106