Resurfaced memories with an adult context

What's something that happened when you were a kid, but you didn't really care about it until you were older? I recently thought about a memory in which my mom was driving me to school when I was 8. She asked if she was a good mom and her voice was breaking. I said yes.

Well, there was all those incidents that I didn't consider to be child abuse at the time, which I later remembered in adulthood and realized that, yeah, it's abuse. No wonder I wound up the way I did. But aside from that, I don't know. I've got random memories going back to age 3 but I don't know what importance they'd have to me as an adult. Like the time I stuck a penny in a power outlet pretending it was a coin slot like on a vending machine. Sure left a big burn mark on the wall.

some abuse and my parents divorce. when I was young I didn't know how to process anything so I didn't really react to lots of things till i became an adult

No specifics I want to share, but a bunch of awkward or dumb things I did that looking back on them only seem worse with perspective.

basically any point from my childhood i can pick out some random memory and look at it, and realize that something was wrong with me. i always had friends growing up, but i kinda fulfilled the role of the hyperactive kid who was funny, so it kinda replaced "traditional" genuine interaction in a lot of ways. i realize now that i never really picked up on social cues that i think a lot of other kids did and that i might be slightly on the spectrum or something. >>49779 >She asked if she was a good mom and her voice was breaking. I said yes. my mother basically turned me into her emotional support animal and soykaf like this was normal for me unfortunately

>>49779 Well for me my dad treys to use me to get a girlfriend back back then I didn't relay care at the time and now that has not relay change. any questions

I've had a whole bunch of these, largely revolving around a particularly difficult family life up until I was a young teen or so. One in particular came to mind very recently though, as when I was perhaps around 10 or 12, this kid was telling people how he hated drinking and he'd never drink. People assumed he was some kind of square. I think about it. >>49811 >i kinda fulfilled the role of the hyperactive kid who was funny, so it kinda replaced "traditional" genuine interaction in a lot of ways Been there done that, it was hard for me to break out of the persona I'd built around myself until later in high school.

>>49831 >Been there done that, it was hard for me to break out of the persona I'd built around myself until later in high school. dang good for you lain, i''m a huge loner now and in my late 20's but even now if i hang out with people i start acting like a hyper retard with absurd humor. it's my way of dealing with social situations because i'm always super uncomfortable.

>>49831 >People assumed he was some kind of square. What does that mean?

>>49843 Extremely relatable post

>>49843 Oh god, are you me? I do this too, except usually it's with people I've already grown to know a bit because it can be offputting to strangers

I remember seeing a younger neighbour when I was like 9 and she was 5. She called me over and was completely naked. She told me she wanted to see me naked. It was completely weird to me at the time and I said "no" and just moved on with my day. Never told anyone, but said it on 4chan once. The guys there immediately jumped on the idea as it would indicate that she was either raped, groped or sexually abused as a child which is why she was curious with sharing that with me. I know the family and that might be completely the possibility. I feel extremely bad because I never told anyone about this other than online.

>>49949 "Genital Play" is a normal part of childhood. I have one memory of me and my two friends all showing our penises to each other, we didn't really do anything other than just look. She probably just wanted to see, and her motivations were innocent, she didn't understand why it was bad or what she was doing, because she was 5 years old.

>>49950 >>49949 I also had male friends like that. I recall seeing some women comedian joking about her babysitting a girl around six iirc who kept trying to get her naked and even get in the bath with her and her parents had warned her it's a phase she's in where she's obsessed with wanting to see someone's body. It doesn't necessarily mean anything happened.

>>49950 When I was 5 some classmates started showing their genitals behind a closet in the classroom. I remember that a girl saw my wiener and yelled "Anon's weewee is hard!!!" I don't know why but I was very proud that I was the only kid with a hard weewee. I recall coming home and telling it to my big brother, he laughed a lot.

>>49779 My parents divorcing at ~4. Mother brought in a threatening and abusive male who beat her. Being alone most of my life, not caring about networking or messing around with other people's emotional needs that I lacked. Being rejected by and separated from the other kids by the older males. Older women trying to mother me but still making it clear that I was defective. Believing my narcissistic defenses were immutable, unbreakable, eternal. After losing that inner world I created to protect me, I've basically been cast out of Eden, expelled from the womb, into hell.

>>49976 >Being rejected by and separated from the other kids by the older males. To clarify, I was rejected by the older men and given "not one of us" vibes. The other kids came to me as a leader, but I either rejected them or tried to organize them into dominating the teachers..... in retrospect.

>>49950 What he described is not "genital play".

>>49779 Basically my behavior in public education. Avoiding human interaction as much as possible. Going to the back of the school to hide from the other students. Then refusing to take the bus with the other students. Puts it in perspective since I've recently been diagnosed as schizotypal.