(untitled)

Anyone here feels strangely apart from other people and social circles, even when you are technically a "part of the team"? I have a handful of good friends and aquitances from 3 distinct social circles or so. I know a lot about them, they know a lot about me, COVID kinda made things hard now, but i used to hangout with atleast 4 of them every week, i was a common figure to everyone to the point everyone expected that i would show up sooner or later, but the thing is, it only goes to this point, beacuse when i go into personal relationships, things get really cold. I always felt some "difference" between me and the others, i was there, i was present, but i never felt like i was one of them, like some kind of interpersonal abstract barrier existed between me and them, no one never bothered to call me, to chat with me in private, to tell me a secret or an intimate story, and they only ever did it while i was present when it was something for multiple people at once or for the group itself, in fact, newcomers or friends of friends, who almost never showed up after some weeks seemed and felt much more intimal with every single one of my friends than i have ever been. I always felt like a shadow, a figure who's there, i feel like if i start to distance myself slowly, i would vanish and people would take months to notice that i was gone.

>>46411 eehhehehhehehe.... >people would take months to notice that i was gone. Well mister, I have some news for you. Your, errhm... *good friends and aquitances*, are just filler. Don't put your trust in them. You are a part of some social circles because there hasn't been an idiot to show his face and take your place, yet. What you say is true. There is a difference between you and them. And that difference is a genuine intellect. You try to fit in along these worthless commoners because there hasn't been a higher society for you to join in, yet. Advice? Fake it 'till you make it. Keep going to their parties, keep laughing at their jokes, keep flirting with their females. Keep on rocking. And maybe one day you will rejoin with your zeitgeist fellow-men. On theory, that's possible. In practice, highly improbable. But... What else is there to do?

>>46413 Well, this kinda makes sense, it's already pretty hard for me to keep up with some conversation topics with them, and i'm not even talking about, i dunno, deep debates about german idealism or things like that, i can't talk basic soykaf about news soykaf without them going in orbit, in fact, i have to be playful and make jokes the entire time to people even notice i'm talking something. The majority of them are in that "sad semi-nerd millenial instagram" profile, so yea... Ironically, COVID fuarrrked me up hard, but it kinda made this soykaf pretty clear to me, since i always had pretty low social needs and i was constantly over the top by always going out, if things kept normal, i would probably never noticed it.

>>46411 I know the feel, bro. Wherever I go, no matter if online or in real life, I get that empty feeling of not taking a part in what people do. If I didn't write to people, they would leave me alone and never write back. They write to me when they have a computer problem and that's about it. >Hey, Anon! Long time no see, I have a problem with my computer, do you want to take a look? :-DDD I have only one friend who always writes me back. Initially our relationship was forced but after some time she probably started valuing my honesty and she really likes me now and meet regularly. Anyway, I feel ignored by everyone but her. When I'm with a group of normans they often don't talk to me - it was so in high school and it's like this now. Back in high school the entire group of 35 preferred talking to each other but me, even the class loser. I only talk to one person from high school yearly because he has programming autism. Sometimes normal people invite me to go out with them or drink but even then I don't feel like I'm a part of the group. I don't fit online either - I'm too much of an individualist to fit and people notice my values differ. I'm an eternal neuephag who never fits because I don't feel the need to behave like other people. I fit on lainchan though because this place is transparent socially - we are all so diverse we don't create a normal social group. We're a bunch of individuals posting here.

>>46411 Yeah, and I sort of got used to it now. I hope it's not a bad thing that I, and others are using the excuse of muh austismo. It could also be that we are not putting in the effort that needs to be made to make or maintain friendships. Sometimes there is a genuine lack of interest because the rest of the population is comprised of IGs/gaymers/tikthots. Or maybe we have simply been saved in some way. >>46427 I feel you. I had one friend from HS who I unironically got close to because we both self-harmed(cringe). But I had to cut him off because of his loli/pedoish posting online, and jail would suck(USA.) Anyways, I don't think being an individualist keeps us from fitting in online. And I don't say this out if ignorance. I have tried using other networks and I couldn't stay long for various reasons. Chiefly because my IRL friends thought I was way weirder online, and I could not find alot of like-minded people outside Lainchan. It's our specific interests in the Internet that keeps a lot of Lainers from using most Social Media spy-tools and that specific type of individualism is not favored by corporations, ,because our use of their technologies is inherently antagonistic and is in contrast to the way we feel about them. I'm sure they will try to capture the remaining audience that exists within the free-internet in the near future. I don't think lain anons are really any more diverse than people on other parts of the internet.It's true that we have different interests, but I am sure the differences among "normans" are probably equally large. We just don't notice it because of the way Social networks are built.If there are such groups(ordinary users vs us) I would have made three divisions. The normans on Zuckernet, Alt-net users like ourselves, and the people who simply don't have time for the internet because they are too busy improving the world or are simply too in-love with their special interests like the Mathematicians and Philosophers of different field. I'm sure there are even well-known Computer-Scientists who use the internet less than us and are able to form in-person social groups more easily.There is something wrong with us and I don't exactly know what it is.Sorry if my post sounds like post-nut-clarity/self-critical ramblings, because it is.

I feel this very much. There are people who I have been very close with, who I've helped grieve, but I still feel disconnected from them. Others who are ride-or-die homies but I still feel like I'm not "one of them". I think my close friends know this intuitively, and they accept me for it. People in general seem to accept my weirdness once they're used to it. I am very grateful for that, and I'm glad that they appear to respect me and find my company enjoyable. But the difference still hurts. I often avoid talking about things that interest me because I have a very high power level and I don't want to alienate people.

>>46432 You have expressed that feeling I(46429) tried to get at, better than I could. When you mentioned how you have people in your life that showed some form of consideration I realized that the distance we feel between ourselves and others is the same distance in either direction. For some reason some people feel it more intensely than others. But intimacy between people in pair, as a group, or humanity as a whole is not a one way link either the link is there and connects all parties or it is not, and it connects no one. What we might be ignoring is our natural desires to improve our connections and to create new ones, as many as possible. It may be that we have a desire to be more social than ordinary people and so our repression out of fear that our own well being or appearance would be damaged, prevents us from doing so.I think if we somehow focused less on ourselves and more on making other people happy we could experience the joy of being more intimately connected knowing that we are the direct cause of someones happiness. And I'm starting to consider whether being clueless and talking about my interests before I knew better was an expression of that desire to spread joy in the best way I could.

>>46433 > It may be that we have a desire to be more social than ordinary people and so our repression out of fear that our own well being or appearance would be damaged, prevents us from doing so. astute observation. >I think if we somehow focused less on ourselves and more on making other people happy we could experience the joy of being more intimately connected knowing that we are the direct cause of someones happiness I try to do this. It helps, but doesn't seem to solve the problem. I still feel distant, like I'm mysterious to my friends.

>>46411 i feel literally the exact same way only im not in as many social circles as you. for me i think its bc im too quiet though and dont make enough effort to talk or lower my barriers so i probably always appear to other people as a very quite npc so im just kept around but never really bonded with... im just part of the furniture..

>>46411 >Anyone here feels strangely apart from other people and social circles, even when you are technically a "part of the team"? I've always felt like this, even in the online spaces for the so-called "social outcasts". Cliques form with their own internal culture and language, and no matter what, it was as if I were on the outside looking in. People would talk to me, and we would share some interests, but I could tell that we were never on the same wavelength, which lead to me feeling alienated despite having others to talk to. Eventually I would cut contact altogether, which felt painless due to them not feeling like my true "friends" to begin with. I do sometimes enjoy having this social "invisibility", as it's saved me from inter-group drama and controversy on multiple occasions, but a part of me wishes to have someone I could connect with on a level that goes beyond the superficial.

Very relatable, i have had this all the time. I stopped hanging out with my friends, not because im frustrated that they ignore me, but simply because of the repetitive and superfacial nature of their social setting. Not to derail too much, but almost none of them ever like suggested to hang out some cool place or do anything. They know im a neet with all day to kill, they could suggest going for a hike or barbecue some nice place in the forest. Instead they just always go the same place, drink beer and smoke weed and have the same stupid conversations and shallow laughter at the actually crappy way of joking they do. Maybe the problem is my expectations, i wanted friends who i can do soykaf with, go out on adventures and have a fun time, sitting in a circle for hours having stupid conversations that feel like a badly written dialogue is not my way of enjoying a group setting. And yeah there is this implicit distance gap, i feel it, they feel it too i think.

>>46432 I had this problem before, and i too felt like they know it intuitively, but the acceptance part for me is more relative, cuz' they never let me into "serious" business, like more formal situations of infome me about important things that been going on, and i usually only know that something happened beacuse i find it out myself sooner or later. I always felt like they always send me a subliminal message like "yea, we have things to do now, and you, well, keep...keep playing there, ok? riiiiight...thanks!" >>46447 Intrestingly enough, i used this exact same metaphor in the past, and i think it summarizes pretty nicely the feeling, its not the same wavelength, if you put in a graph, and even if the frequency is exactly the same, the dissonance persist there between your wave and theirs. >>46456 This remind me of something, i had this small social circle made of my school friends some years ago, and for some reason or another it expanded, and some people i didn't knew joined, and it became exactly like this, it was purely the same superficial boring soykaf at the same place everytime, and one day happened a discussion for political bullshit reasons I don't want to go into between one of my friends and one of the people of the "extended group", and basically by curiosity i asked this person "why such a fuss, this is a group of friends to hung out and have fun, isn't it?", and the answer was something along "no, your group ended a long time ago, we hang out to drink and complain about life, there's no friendship here", and i dunno why, but this made me feel......hollow, like, my own group, made by some of my oldest friends, was appropriated without me knowing to become a hangout club of random people (after some time, i gathered my friends again and made another group, but the experience itself was pretty revealing about the nature of groups out there).

I always felt like this until recently. I can only get in with housemates it seems. Though even then I'm not fully on board because they're just too normal person so you'll get them spouting MSM slogans and that soykaf

>>46411 I'm terrible with people... I don't trust them. I know why I have problems getting to feel like I really am loved by those around me. It's hard when half you is telling you how awful things will be if you trust and if you let them in. I am certain I know why I don't feel part of the group, and if a shrink ever caught me they might make me do something about it. I hope it's not what is making you feel apart. I am so afraid of people I can never really let them talk to me, I am in the background more often than not, listening to someone else. And they are pretty good at it. They made lots of friends and people really really like him... but... I want to be able to trust people and connect with them again. I really do but it's hard for me. I hate being alone... I hate wanting people... and to survive I made new ones... and I used them to get through it all... I am constantly practicing what I say to people in my head I make very detailed constructs of everyone I meet in my mind. It's daunting and it means I can NOT really spontaneously meet people with out really risking outing how messed up I am. Ever worried. If you are braver than me and can escape to see someone I would. I know what my problem is. I have to keep everyone on the same page before I talk to anyone or else I risk spilling out word soup and making sure sometimes I never see that person again. I have a habit of putting my foot in my mouth because sometimes someone else speaks. And I have to pretend it's not anything. People who know me think I am eccentric and it's mostly just my alt. He makes sure everyone is never sure what he means. Doesn't speak often unless he can pull a thread of knowledge out and regurgitate to people. It's easy when it's just repeating facts or equations. But when they want to talk about "me" I start to freak and not sure which "me" should be handling this. And then I have to keep a logical consistency of feeling and ideas. Sometime this does work _really_ well and I can watch what I can pull off, but it always feels like a scam, because it is. Because it's normally the front guy and he's just getting fed a stream of what I want him to say. And I stich enough of all of me together to make it sounds like he knows what he's saying and he's also very self aware. Yes I make sure people feel empathy towards him but also respectable strength. But he's just a fake. I made him? I feel like sometimes I am ghost blocked by the whole world. And that the only one I can risk letting in are a small group that revolve around a character I talked to when my world was destroying me again. And then the whole world feels like it's secretly putting you down all the time and you have a head like mine well, it's easy to see why I'm stuck here talking. mostly lurking... Sometimes i do this, burst out for a little while willing to risk it all with strangers, but then I freak out. "What is one of them are out to use me. What if they take advantage of me. What if they just want something I know. They are always looking to use us, it's so easy when we just want to shut down. I can't let him shut us down." It's hard to be in the group when most people would immediately be afraid of you if you told them half of what it's like to be you. I have seen grown men terrified of me. People don't mess with me just because it's like I irradiate "careful". But people put up with me when I am useful and that just compounds how fuarrrked it makes me feel. Part of me is telling me that I am just making it up and everyone thinks like this... but I know that's his lie and he's been using it so long I believe him. I believed this is normal. Like I said I hope you can trust people. I wish I knew what it was like I hope you don't try and coup with it like I did. I really do believe people are good, and I want to be with them. I just don't know how to do that without all the sick things I do to make it work. And it doesn't really work and it never feels like it's going to ever work

Yeah I used to a lot but now I guess I either dont have social circles like I used to or ive embraced operating outside them so I never feel like an outcast. Im more comfortable to a degree now with being disconnected from what people are doing and I even will make jokes about it or just bring it up. Not in a aggressive way just more like a "I have no idea why you guys are doing what ur doing so im gonna go do this thing I want il be back in a bit". The actual reason I personally felt like you were describing is just not getting the same enjoyment most people do out of things, not getting as excited, not getting as invested sometimes or sometimes getting invested in things they wouldnt. I remember I went to a friends birthday because I knew it meant a lot to her that I went, normally I do more one on one birthday celebrations with friends. And it was a very neat one they rented a very cheap boat we had the party on because they are into doing soykaf like that and its telling that I cant tell you what "soykaf like that" even is exactly. I just mean like people have parties on boats and yachts and everyone goes "wow thats really grown up and exciting and cool". I know soykaf like that isnt just like a giant attempt to mimic whats normal and held in high regard by everyonel and im not even going on this tangent to say thats how I see it, its how said friend did. They also always feel like an outcast but just try to do all these things they see as socially respectable to compensate. But im still the bigger outcast. I was actually kinda excited to randomly get to be on a boat for the night with drinks and soykaf because I had no money at the time so it was like a free little trip. At some point in the night though I just kinda looked around and I saw everyone talking and having energy and people randomly bursting out into dances, and I realized it wasnt because they were any drunker than me. I was just as drunk as them. Even this outcast friend whos birthday it was, was able to be this life of the party you might normally expect one to be on their birthday. But I was bored and drained, and I couldnt see one other person who was as well. And I felt kind of bad about that, that I was really just there out of respect and I didnt enjoy or relate to anything anyone was doing. The best moment of that night to me instead was when we got off the boat and I ran around with my friend trying to help them find a bathroom because they felt too high to ask random staff members of random businesses if their bathroom was open. That was my "wow that was really fun". Very odd soykaf. I think it was because I finally was just one on one with someone again and not having to accommodate and blend into these crowd dynamics that I just never really feel apart of anyways. And so I just dont anymore, I still will go to parties or hang out with groups of people but ive just ceased like being bothered or worried that im interrupting the flow of soykaf and with that feeling like an outcast kind of goes away too. Its established now that if I leave or go do my own thing that yes its because im not relating to/feeling apart of whatevers going on but that that isnt a them issue or something that needs to be addressed as I know and they know il just come back when I find whats going on interesting again.

>>46498 I think you might not realize how many people feel the same way, even people who "play the game". Once you realize this it is not hard to get along with them. In my experience a lot of people will actually overshare pretty quickly if you let them.

>>46500 im aware of that but I understand why your saying it. people share a lot with me we just dont often share in much as far as just energy levels and what gets us going.

Very relatable posts in this thread >>46411 >Anyone here feels strangely apart from other people and social circles, even when you are technically a "part of the team"? >I always felt like a shadow, a figure who's there, i feel like if i start to distance myself slowly, i would vanish and people would take months to notice that i was gone. I have felt very different from others for as long as I can remember. I have had some friends over the years, but none of my friendships seems to last for more than 2 or 3 years at most. It seems that people kind of like to have me hang around, but they don't really want to connect on a deeper level or become close friends with me. I'm like some ghost who just comes and goes but doesn't really leave a mark on anyone. >>46456 >I stopped hanging out with my friends, not because im frustrated that they ignore me, but simply because of the repetitive and superfacial nature of their social setting. This also. Maybe I just have unrealistic expectations but I don't really get how people just have dumb meaningless conversations for hours without getting bored. >>46463 >I had this problem before, and i too felt like they know it intuitively, but the acceptance part for me is more relative, cuz' they never let me into "serious" business, like more formal situations of infome me about important things that been going on, and i usually only know that something happened beacuse i find it out myself sooner or later. I always felt like they always send me a subliminal message like "yea, we have things to do now, and you, well, keep...keep playing there, ok? riiiiight...thanks!" Quite often when people invite me to hang out with them they just openly discuss stuff that they have done without me. I don't know if it's intentional but it sometimes feels pretty bad. I sometimes wonder if there's something offputting about my behaviour or appearance. Strangers often kind of frown at me or look scared when I pass them on the street for example. It seems to be both men and women. I don't think I'm that ugly so I think it must be something else, but I'm not really sure. People seem to accept me better when they already know me. All the experiences over the years have made me grow into very much an individualist. Browsing sites like this has probably also accelerated it. I don't really care about fitting in anymore, but I would still like to have a close friend or two. I'm kind of in a weird position, at the same time I would want to get along with people more easily, but I also wouldn't want to be a normal person. I have some acquaintances from university, but I'm afraid even they will just fade away sooner or later. Even most people at uni are just normal people.

>>46950 >This also. Maybe I just have unrealistic expectations but I don't really get how people just have dumb meaningless conversations for hours without getting bored. Ditto, this amazes me the most and the quality of conversation is sometimes so meaningless and low, its funny a few times when youre drunk and stoned, but not all the fuarrrking time, like almost every day. Their private life is hardly any more interesting than that either, not like any of them has anything interesting going. Its weird seeing people who have jobs and money and proper friends and such throw their life, this coming from a neet of 30 years. Atleast i sort of in some sick fuarrrked up way have adventure of some sort, but these people are like almost soulless, it just feels like there is nothing to them but some sort of script that they run trough. I also talked with some of my other friends who do have a soul appearently and they too think this is fuarrrked up like, but in turn they themselfs are fuarrrked up. People are just weird, hell it all baffles me the fuarrrk out. Dont wanna talk too bad about other people behind their backs but those so called friends are all fuarrrked up either way. Almost all of the time its either talk or silence, sometimes the jay gets passed, more often than not its some fuarrrked up soykaf that if you recorded it and listened to the next morning you would not make sense of how it came to that they said this.

Same I've had the same experience multiple times with friend groups from various games/platforms. I'll join the discord server, sometimes voicechat yet always feel this barrier between me and others. I keep to myself now as I've gotten exhausted.

It's like i'm reading posts written by me.

>>47160 It's okay. I'm pretty sure that there are lots of people like us on imageboards. Especially the more niche ones, like lainchan.

Yeah it's like there's a veil between me & everyone else. I think it has to do with my aspergers more than anything else though, at the end of the day we're always alone I guess.

Yes, mostly because I'm 99th percentile so it's rare to find someone who can keep up; and when I do there's the human, compatibility, interest, age, and all other factors to sort out. >blah blah blah muh IQ I wish I closer to average

>>47224 Do you really think it's your intelligence and not the lack of social skills? I'm 94th percentile and I can make friends quite easily, normal people like me for some reason. Also what gives it away? Are you building an inator in your basement the whole day and then "oh no, why no one talks to me?!?" Or do you feel that their intellectual level is too low for you to enjoy their companion? >>47160 We're Lains for a reason.

>>7235 Im not him but you mistake ability with interest. I can be friends with anyone and i do get invitations and all that stuff but its boring. Its like in the zoo. The only escape is sports. Since youre equal here its fun to play together.

>>47235 Well one giant sign is that I definitely feel more at home when mingling with university students or people at my workplace. They get my jokes, their jokes aren't banal and boring, their behavior is more self-aware and intended, civilized, less centered about value signals and politics, and there's a much higher chance that we have share common interests or give/get actually good recommendations for anything. But if I go to a place with many working class people, or if I encounter ghetto trash on the streets, it almost feels like they're from a different world. I usually don't get what they're on about for a while, and when I finally do, it's often something that was below the threshold of stupidity or indecency I would expect from an adult human. Eventually I started to assume that people are dumb instead of assuming they aren't, and overall there's less surprise since. When a person does turn out to be a lot smarter than they looked like, I can simply apologize for acting arrogant. Also as >>47237 pointed out, ability doesn't mean interest. There's many people who I could get along with by effort, or learn their ways and become more like them to eventually get along naturally; but I'd rather not.

>>47244 >Well one giant sign is that I definitely feel more at home when mingling with university students or people at my workplace. As you mention it, some university students are easier to deal with but I still don't fit because I'm too introverted and probably autistic. If the infographic I saw somewhere is right and biology students do have average IQ of 100 while I have about 125, then I'm still above average. Anyway some of them consider me strange because I LARP as a mad scientist. When I do something creative or unconventional, they often don't get me and look askance at me, it's like talking to a pigeon. Rather than intelligence I value open-mindedness and creativity in people - maybe there's a correlation. I know few open-minded people and only those are my close friends. I can get along with dumb people if they're kind, listen to me and try to understand me, even if they can't. >Eventually I started to assume that people are dumb instead of assuming they aren't, and overall there's less surprise since. I have a bad habit of giving them the benefit of the doubt but it often leads to long discussions and getting annoyed quickly. >Also as >>47237 pointed out, ability doesn't mean interest. Right, there must be a reason I don't do that either.

Very relatable thread. Something that I've always noticed is that in many mainstream sites I still find myself feeling like a stranger outside of the main bubble. Even in smallish chat rooms. People tend to overeshare and esentially do the same thing that Facebook / Twitter users do but with nicknames to hide a part of themselves. I don't know how to explain this feeling but no one is truly looking for anything more complex than a little small talk online in my view.

>>46411 A couple months ago one of my acquaintances told me I "was the most profoundly weird person they knew" which kind of surprised me since we both know some terminally autistic people. I later learned that almost everyone I knew at my new workplace hated me for the first few weeks I was there but only later grew to "appreciate my behavior" I have literally no idea what I am doing that's so weird and it's honestly freaking me out a bit.

Is a genuine friend just too much to ask? I don't really care that I don't have a "social circle", I just wish I had someone I could hang out and do stuff that I like with.

We need to build a new religion guys. When I was a M*slim I didn't feel this way. Now I do :( but there's no going back.

>>46413 This Found a fellow soulmate through a good "friend" and life couldn't be sweeter. OP, stop forcing yourself to fit in. You're forcing yourself to understand them and them to understand you. You are two different species. Just use mimicry to your advantage, use and abuse them if you see fit, and move on.

no i do not give a fuarrrk i build my own reality fuarrrk everything fuarrrk everyone i have a good time they can feel what ever about me what i do not care what i care ill do what i must do than sure someone may break your heart but you can break their skull or your own feeling pathetic is just a state of mind snap out of it and do damage show yourself that you are living if you take it real far you might have your own cult of personality that attracts cunny i live of attention of those that i deem lovely to shape in form i want you take this far enough and you rob banks or die trying

>>47434 That's quite edgy lainon

>>47434 N-Needs some, punctuation.

>>46411 Perhaps some of what I'm about to write is pertinent, perhaps some of it isn't. Take what you will and discard the rest. By the way, I'll be using the term "outlier" to refer to any person that does not fit into the social circles they are attempting to fit in with. This could mean outliers, outcasts, loners, losers, etc. etc. Anybody could write entire volumes on the subject of socialization, so I'll try to stick to a specific aspect or two. Now, I don't know if what I'm writing is directly related to what you, or anyone else, has said, or if it's merely tangential to my own experience, but I think something that's incredibly important for outliers like ourselves is to acknowledge that the problem ultimately lies with us. There's multiple aspects to that statement, but to begin: I am not saying the problem is ourselves or our personalities. The problem is that we don't fit into what we're trying to fit into. Do not make the problem personal. By making it personal, you will naturally attempt to solve the problem by changing who you are to match them. You will hurt yourself like this. You do not whittle down the square peg to fit through the circular hole. With that out of the way, it's important to recontextualize the problem. I did say to not make it personal, and so, we must change it to something more distant and more objective, but without losing the importance it holds. For me personally, I find that this is best achieved by comparison through metaphor or simile. Rather than thinking, "My friends don't like me as an individual," it's better to think, "I am not a match for this set of people," which can then be recontexualized to, "I am a black sheep among white horses," and then after some thought about what group you can fit into, "I should be a black sheep among other sheep, among other black sheep, among other strangely colored sheep." This then begs the question (and consequent solution): What defines my "sheepiness" and where can I find people who have this "sheepiness"? (I use sheepiness here to follow through on the metaphor, but it just means the qualities that make you, you.) This is merely a test of your own honesty towards yourself, and a time investment into discovering who you are. To speed up our multi-month or multi-year timeline for the sake of this post: identifying, in full honesty, who you are and the aspects that define you, you should start the search for what hobbies, activities, careers, etc. suit those aspects, and then seek them out with a certain fervor. Not a blind charge, but a unwavering persistence. A thought might be roused in the back of our minds upon reading "multi-month" or "multi-year". Is this seriously a process that takes that long? Yes, and you will be alone for it. But weighing the situation at the start, versus the situation at the end, I have to ask if we're even losing anything by going through the process. If you already feel you're alone, then what's the harm in walking away from the people that make you feel alone? There isn't any, as far as I can tell. If this isn't of any use, or seems like totally incomprehensible ramblings, then disregard it. However, I hope at least one person finds use for it, even if that person is just myself.

>>47513 Yes, captain obvious. The first of the three Delphic Maxims; K N O W T H Y S E L F ffs people... Read your classics...