Help Me

I had started studying Japanese in depth when I was a mid-teen, before my personality had been fully "Constellated" (Jungian term), and I had also started being interested in Psychoanalysis/Analytical Psychology as well during that time. I've only listened to 'good' Vocaloid (or Japanese pop music) throughout my life and soykaf and soykaf like that, and apparently music is very important to this in some indescribable way (I think this is from Jung). I've just finished Kafka on the Shore and I don't know how to process what I've read as well. Now that it's time for my personality to constellate (I'm at the age that personality disorders can be diagnosed) I'm having a hard time understanding what I am supposed to get from this, as I have been having weird day dreams for the past year or so. My brain is also completely fuarrrking fried by weirdo kemohomo hentai and I don't know how to relate to people anymore without making them uncomfortable. Murakami in an interview on the book said something about his inspiration coming from studying American/Western philosophy as a ethnic Japanese, he opened some kind of "pool of fantasy". The director of the movie Eraser Head said that he gets his for his movies inspiration from his "transcendental meditation" that he does. John Waters tripped on LSD and took speed when he made his movies. Are the feelings that I am experiencing at this age "normal"? Am I having a normal existential crisis (at least normal in every culture except Western)? I cannot turn to anyone except Lainchan to ask for help as everyone else would think that I'm crazy.

>>45400 Also I'll add that the inspiration for the movie 8 and a half came from the Director's Jungian analysis. Kenneth Anger was inspired to create his movies from Thelema...

I've never felt emotions like this before, and the fact that listening to this fuarrrking Japanese soykaf and it's making me feel something is so terrifying to me! It's this Covid soykaf as well, it's causing people to have psychotic reactions because it's almost impossible for the poor etc. to cope with the restrictions (I guess...). Here's a list of artists I like: ぽわぽわP ピノキオピー くらげP ナユタン星人 john ワンオポ muship ヨルシカ All this soykaf is terrifying to me! I feel fuarrrking nuts! What do Lainchanners think? Are you kind enough to lead me in the right direction? I really like the way that the people interact here, and you guys are nice. pic rel Is this just the "Individuation Process" and it will pass soon enough? I'm so fuarrrking nervous.

>>45400 >reading fiction grow up

>>45407 Is fiction really that bad though?

>>45407 fiction builds the future pleb. Imagination of authors steers engineers by giving them goals. I.E. the mobile phone was a star trek fan trying to build the com device.

Stop posting your mental breakdown on Lainchan. You've made like four threads about it. Being a gay furry is the least of your problems. Find help.

>>45400 OP, every time I see one of your posts, it brightens my day. You have a very strange perspective. I hope one day you manage to unfuck your life. It sounds like you consume a lot of media that is intentionally designed to destroy your perception of reality, and you're not old enough to be able to have the experience to correctly process what you're seeing. If you want some genuine advice, pick up a hobby like a sport or even a skill like woodworking. Stop reading so much antiquated psychological/occult theory. Stop watching strange art films and idolizing their makers. Just for a couple of years. You've got a whole life to do that stuff, your youth is right now. It's happening. And it's going to pass, whether you enjoy it or not. Don't waste it on this.

>>45413 >bro replace your old complex version of hendonism with this new dumbed down version of hendonism! you two should really stop pursuing happiness

>>45414 Maybe. Frankly if it makes me sound so sour, I don't think I'd like to. I hope you feel better anon.

>>45413 >too young to understand This is probably 100% correct. >pick up somatic hobby I'm just not that interested in activities like that. The "dopamine high" from sports doesn't interest me or feel good, and I have no desire to make furniture. >no more antiquated psychological/occult theory I fundamentally believe in Solipsism, and I am able to prove these "antiquated and occult" theories are somewhat true by using my introspection. I cannot prove the existence of modern psychological theories as correct using my introspection, I would need some kind of multi-million dollar machinery -- and even with that I wouldn't understand a thing. >no more art films The totally Dionysian world that these films create is a very nice breath of fresh air compared to all the crap that is released today. >don't waste it on this I don't have a proper social net, so there's very few activities I can fill my free time with.

It is normal feeling lost or in anguish during that part of youth. Just know that all feelings come and go, embrace it. We are all as human as you, at some point you will notice things falling into place. Of course, working towards bettering yourself (as subjective as it may be) is very important for this process. Dont give up, lainon. Also Kafka on the Shore is amazing, read Norwegian Wood and Dance, Dance, Dance if you havent already.

>>45414 >>bro replace your old complex version of hendonism with this new dumbed down version of hendonism! If literally anything that brings you joy is your definition of hedonistic then all humans are hedonistic, including yourself. >>45473 >The "dopamine high" from sports doesn't interest me or feel good, and I have no desire to make furniture. Not the person you responded to but those were just examples. Probably what he was trying to say is that you should pick a hobby that will actually be beneficial to you, and avoid consuming media that aims to waste your time or that could fuarrk up your mind, especially if you don't have the maturity to not let it control your life. Tangentially, if you are also not mature enough, don't read psychoanalysts.Taking everything they say without scrutiny can be detrimental. >I don't have a proper social net, so there's very few activities I can fill my free time with. Social media is far from the only thing that can fill up your free time, and I'd go as far as to say that you should go offline for a couple days for your own sake. Boredom is actually a good way to get motivated to learn or do something new. Obviously, you could always get back online and start wasting your time when you're bored, but then it defeats the entire purpose of it.

>>45496 >If literally anything that brings you joy is your definition of hedonistic this is your reading comprehension on dunning kruger

You have the energy of youth without outlet so you turn it on looking into yourself. Chase exalt, you'll feel better about yourself when you find something to feel good about rather than looking at all you've done wrong or how fuarrrked up you are now

As long as these fantasies don't leak out of your reality like spilled spaghetti then that's fine. You can even just keep it to yourself (like if you have fantasies of dressing up as something else). If it's in the mind state, or simply thought state, there is a chance that you can avert from extreme deviance by avoiding to speaking about it face to face (in voice/mouth and other people) but today's western society make it accessible with communities with official backing (or even those aren't but have strong grounds like the furry community). Thoughts provoked (by fiction or idea) -> words spoken -> action taken.

>>45400 You should be journalling every day including keeping a dream log, that is a strong step in the direction of controlling your imaginations. Only after you have control of your imagination and regularly use it to create do you have to worry about your faculty of imagination "running dry". It's not even truly "yours" whilst you don't control it yourself.

>I fundamentally believe in solipsism Guys I found the problem