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hello lainons, as most of the userbase on this site are teenagers / young adults, i came to expose a problem, maybe it is silly or retarded, but i feel i need help from someone who has gone through or experienced the same, i was humiliated and excluded my whole elementary and high school, in the sixth grade, about 4 boys kept humiliating me, cursing me, hitting me, and even spitting in my face, this has happened several times, when I tried to do something against it never worked, they were in 4 and bigger than me, I was never someone who was an asshole or a retard, I was always more in my and quieter, I never got into big problems because I always avoided them, treated everyone with respect and equality, but they made me a little bitch, that went on for years, what resulted in a huge inferiority complex and lowering my self-esteem to a minimum, in high school they excluded me from all group activities and even if they had no purpose to talk to me, I really feel like soykaf because I cry and sometimes I cry for the same, I go to the gym for a while to get stronger, I would like to be more respected, and have more friends, as I do to reverse this situation, I ended up becoming more introverted and depressed by these events, I never had parents very much present, and I don't know what to do, which one who has gone through the same or identifies himself could help me?

>>31946 I went on similar problems, but someday I just cracked, if the world hates you, so return the hatred.

Report them to the authorities, and look at the light at the end of the tunnel when high school ends and you no longer have to interact with them in any form.

>>31946 sorry too young for lainchan rofl... anyways u should get some muscle for self defense. Only the tortured turn into torturers, sane and sound people dont do that soykaf.

>treated everyone with respect and equality Unfortunately this works well only in imaginary world that exists in the Internet. Respect and equality must be earned, not given. Really, you don't need to seek for respect and friends, the more you ask for it the more repulsed people will be. It doesn't mean you have to stop trying to make new friends, it is just something that can't be asked or can't be a goal in itself. Respect yourself, always stand for yourself, do not put yourself below others, learn to have fun with yourself, learn how to accept loneliness. Accept yourself and uniqueness of your life experience, even if being so unpleasant - it is still your legacy. Work on your ideals. If you have no confidence in yourself you have no future. The firmer stand on the ground you have the more life you experience, people will follow. Many will follow you wish you never seen in your life, this is why unpleasant experience is still a valuable experience. Seeing the bottom of social life you already know something about life and people that others don't. Not in any circumstances put yourself as being inferior because of some cunts and never give a way to social pressure, it got me to the point I seriously considered to commit kys, thankfully I was a coward enough. >>31947 I've seen too many people who were physically adult but mentally a kid who was never able to overcome humiliation they took back then, and it really shows off in their behavior. They bear hatred for things everyone forgot about, and it seems to hold them tight.

>>31946 Almost had same case and won. The idea here is quiet simple regardless how though they act they still bitches cause they looking for easy targets. As long as you beat them back you win because they have a lower damage tolerance even if they can deal more damage to you than you to them. You just have to play a rabid dog. Society that teaches being nice is just fuarrrking you over so they have less trouble to deal with. Violence is the key. Just make sure to not get caught on record when you trash them. Lastly you got to understand this is not about strength or gym bullshit. I was a midget whole head smaller and made it work because its about how willing you are to take hits while you keep hitting them.

>>31953 Addition before anyone misunderstands: Im just saying you dont need gym for fighting. I absolutely recommend gym for other benefits.

>>31946 I think what you need are friends or a group of people you enjoy spending time with. You don't need to be extremely popular to feel socially satisfied, I think just a few good friends would be enough. Look at what I wrote in an other thread https://lainchan.org/%CE%A9/res/28414.html#31904 maybe you'd like the idea. (Even if you're not interested in that, you could try just talking to me and see how it goes.)

I had a similar time in high school (I'm not trans, there are many possible reasons for these conditions). I was also very depressed, I was fine with the idea of dying at any time. I did find some friends for a while. I experimented with drugs for a while, used cannabis a lot (I still like it). I was later diagnosed with ASD. For me it was mostly my sense of humor that got me through it (there will always be people who like to laugh at similar things, hopefully), my ability to reason properly (unlike bullies), and integrity. So I guess expand your strengths, try not to be corrupted, try to understand, have empathy even in the face of what appears to be evil. No one will beat empathy in the long run, if empathy is beaten then all hope is lost, it gives you better understanding, knowledge is power. Even when it doesn't seem like it, there are people who are forces of good in this world, and those bullies will likely face karma one way or another. Good luck, stay safe.

i hope you're ok lain. stay safe. i love you, you're gonna be alright.

>>31980 thanks all the lainons here, love you guys.

Embrace being a loner. Don't ask, take. Be the weapon. Be the blade to cut through the vanity of life. Be your own enemy. Be your own god.

>>31946 I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, Lain. I'm also very happy to hear you already took the first, crucial step in overcoming this yourself: you decided to become stronger. Next to becoming physically stronger than bullies, you also have to be able to mentally overcome them. Of great helping in this, is to understand bullies and bully behaviour. Bullies bully to become dominant over others. This desire for domination, can come from fear (the other poses a threat and needs to be neutralized), pleasure (it feels good to have power over others), higher social standing (by displaying this power of personal destruction, bullies rise in social standing and can exert strong influence on groups) or normalcy (the bully has been the victim of bullies themselves and subsequently internalized bullying behaviour as normal). Whatever their motive, bullies often pick the weakest. Subsequently if you want to arm yourself against them, you have to get strong. A strong body emits a powerful radiance and because a strong body is intimidating, it demands respect. Martial arts is a great way of becoming strong and skillful in combat. If you practice Martial Arts, the preparation of the body and mind for potential combat (usually) positively translates to your entire being. In case of bullies, that your carry with you the knowledge you are willing and able to kick these guys asses scares most of them off. And if not, you will kick their ass.

I was only ever bullied by one person, it went on for a few months near the end of high school because they knew I was a drug addict and had some superiority complex. I had some friends who would stick up for me and got into fights with this person before but this time I told them to stay out of it. I figured out where the person lived and jumped them at night with a pistol. Im not proud of it, I was using a lot of benzos at the time and things could have easily gone south really fast but I basically just said "you will not be doing this anymore or I will shoot your head off, understand?" and that was that. Im by no means suggesting you pull a gun out but like the one lain said if you play the rabid dog who could attack at any time people will leave you the fuarrrk alone. Be safe and take solace in the fact that after you get out of school this isnt going to be a problem for you anymore.

>>31950 Pretty much what this guy said minus the "must be earned" bit. Make yourself better, concentrate inwards, and you'll be able to help others. The more you help others the better you'll feel. But do not lay over for bullshit. Allow whoever it is to go too far, then 'attack', whatever attack is in the scenario. Make sure you come out feeling like you were nice but strong and respectful of yourself. If somebody asks for your wallet you do not get treated like an ass for saying no. As situations get more complex and gray the solution in which you are happy with yourself from both an inside and outside perspective becomes harder to find, but, paradoxically, also stays easy; simply be the man you want to be and act selfish. Some have rotten cores or don't truly understand what it means to live selfishly, but for most of man this is simply being nice to people and enjoying yourself. It is selfish to spend time being nice to people, selfish to end every situation in the way you want for yourself, as in how you'd want yourself to end it if you were watching outside. In essence this is, I suppose, what it means to dress nice and be a 'gentlemen' in the modern. One does not put themselves above all others, but does respect themselves. One helps others, and is willing to take a couple punches in doing so, because they are strong -- yet they do not allow themselves to be a complete punching bag, they have limits, and those limits are respected and applauded by those around them, nobody unbiased or normal will fault you for respectably putting up with bullshit only for a little while. Live selfishly, if you deserve a happy life AND have enough self-awareness to understand what this means; you will be happy and invite good friends. When you want to truly give, not when your mind or others tell you to, give.

>>31946 Wow, that is like kicking dead whales down the beach lainon. I got bullied for years when I was in school too. I can explain what helped me deal with it, I hope it helps you. Getting picked on is someone exploiting percieved weakness in you. It's a equasion: Is the risk of confrontation versus the reward of seeing you squirm. I got bullied because I was not confident and because I was a really sensitive person. That's basically free real estate for assholes. Low confidence means you'll have to resist the bully and yourself, being sensitive makes it easy to get a desired reaction out of you. If you bully someone, it's a game of dominance. It's about seeing the other person flinch, squirm, duck, avoid eye contact. You win by getting them to submit. >treated everyone with respect and equality, but they made me a little bitch That sounds like you are where I was a few years ago - very sensitive. That's not inherently bad, it for example helps you pick up smaller, detailed information in social situations. But combined with low self esteem it's extremely easy for others to walk all over you. Now, back to to the equasion I mentioned above: Is the reward of making you squirm worth the risk of confrontation? This is the fundamental calculation that takes place, subconcious or not, before someone picks on you. The best way of getting out of it is by working on both sides of the equasion. >the reward of making you squirm You need to make the reward harder to obtain. Resist a little, play your best pokerface. Don't listen to their insults. Straight up pretend they don't exist. But keep in mind: This alone is NOT A SOLUTION. If yelling something won't get the desired reaction, they'll walk over and snatch your bag or something, it will just escalate into more extreme measures to get a reaction. That's why you also need to work on: >the risk of confrontation This side is more tricky. It's all about making it harder for them to pick on you, again without risking escalation. This can happen in many ways: If you have a whitty counter for a insult you can turn the dominance-submission game around and come out on top. If you dodge a punch and make fun of them for missing, you came out on top. You are still in school, so being around a teacher significantly increases their risk of getting into trouble. If you are strong or know how to fight they risk getting hurt by messing with you. Anything that gives you an advantage. Using this, your goal should not be to get stronger than them. In fact, if it's 4 people, you don't stand a chance. It's to reduce the reward anad increase the risk to a point that bullying is not worth it anymore. Here's what helped me in hopes that it might help you: >Find a passion and learn a skill to improve self-worth I got good with computers, but you can pick anything. Woodworking, cooking, chemistry, an instrument, cars, gardening. Dowsn't matter as long as it's a useful skill you have fun developing. Tremendously helps your self-esteem. >Martial arts It helps you on so many levels; Most martial arts are more than just learning to fight but include learning about respect, meditation, managing emotions and getting to know your personal boundaries. Wether your local dojo if you have one also teaches those is up in the air, but picking up martial arts can also get you strong friends, acting as further protection. If you can't do it alone, don't end up like >>31947 and look for help. Relatives, friends, if that's not an option/not enough a psychologist. Best of luck.

>>31946 I was bullied too. Then I started hitting back. Now the situation completely reversed. I am the one who bullies others now. So my advice to you is: In order to stop being bullied, you have to become the bully.

>>32017 >0:57 Dayumm. That's an ugly bitch. What anime is that? Might be trivial to other lainons but I don't really watch much anime anymore, esp. any new soykaf. I mostly just read older manga.

>>32063 That's the blackpill. Sure, it's a way out, but you'll never be truly happy this way, it's just a cope. The best way out is finding friends who'll support you. Easier said than done, maybe, but some redneck kids I became friends with, due to having a home nowhere else, ended up defending me from my longtime bully when he came to me one day at lunch. I don't keep in contact with them, mostly because our distance is too large to ever make sense... though in thinking it maybe I should send him something as thanks. Redneckism only lasted so long before I found my 'true' friendgroup... Fine lads I suppose, but we grew very distant in realities, to a point where they were seeing red and I green. >>31946 I guess this ended up being more directed at you than anything else, since that guy already lives his way and finds success. No clue how feasible what I said is, but there will always be people able to welcome you if you're capable of caring about them. I know people who couldn't do the last part and were surprised people didn't like being with them.

I've never been bullied myself, but I'll try to add my thoughts regardless. In my opinion, it's important to have friends and be a part of that group. You don't have to be friends outside of school or college, as long as you stick together as a group in this social environment, you, and everyone else involved, are less likely to be bullied. In fact, this might be the reason why I've never been bullied, despite being the perfect bullying target. I'm not exactly sure as to why it works, I don't think it's just about the number of people you have as friends, it's more about the display that you are a part of a group, and losing favor with one of you leads to losing favor with other people in this group, and potentially other people outside of this group. As a side bonus, you personally become more well-adjusted. In the eyes of the bully, an average Joe who isn't extremely timid and self-conscious, who can hold a conversation, is on good terms with other people simply by virtue of partaking in the daily pleasantries of exchanging greetings and engaging in small talk is not someone they can or want to pick on. Bumbling, awkward and self-effacing people are, on the other hand, are an easier target. I would like to end the post by stressing the importance of not becoming a complete "Lone Wolf". I've seen people like this, and they are often rather off-putting. It might have to do with the fact that they are stand-offish and guarded. Reaching out seems much more difficult, as there's little desire to do so to begin with, and then there are copious amounts of emotional barriers you have to overcome with people like this. The majority of them cultivate the physical and/or mental strength they use(d) to deal with bullies, but remain socially inept and awkward as they never became a part of a group, which may create a vicious cycle of continuous internal and sometimes external struggle, I think. Hope this helps.

I was bullied a little bit but I was too autistic to give a soykaf even when I could tell it was happening. When I hit puberty and got some muscles I sucker punched a few minor bullies and they all left me alone after that. There was one time I think in 7th or 8th grade? The girl I had a crush on asked me out after class. Her "friends" were giggling behind her, so I thought it was a prank and I told her that. It was only years later looking back on the memory that I realized they were probably laughing because she was asking out the autistic kid and failing and they were mean. I still feel bad about it.

oh I guess I should try to help with your problem too. as an adult, most bullying is psychological in nature. The way to beat them is to be funny and likeable, so that you can simply move away from bully-infested circles.

>>32074 Soremachi

>as most of the userbase on this site are teenagers / young adults How did you come to that conclusion? My impression had most lainons at least 35. >You just have to play a rabid dog. OK. You don't need to hurt anyone to do this. When I was in school this angry dude finally got fed up with the resident weirdo and punched him. He always said he was pacifist, but his response was just calmly taking off his glasses, putting them away, saying "please be careful, you wouldn't want to damage my glasses" while starting to slowly walk towards him. His glasses were some cheapo frames and insurance covered the lenses, you know? Certifiable. The assailant's rage chilled so fast to fear he almost fell back, and when a teacher arrived they thought the pacifist was attacking the angry---now terrified---dude, but we disillusioned them. After that, the terrified dude would leave the room whenever the pacifist came in. Consensus was after graduation we'd see him next on TV, though we didn't agree if he'd be a terrorist or cult rapist, victim of an awkward crime, or mental hospital escapee. It's been 10 year reunion and we still don't know what became of him, though his old friend---the one who said about hospital escape---said he can escape any hospital by some legal trickery. I guess he was right when he chortled "I'm not stupid" at our yearbook superlative for him "most likely to make TV news". Actually the teachers vetoed our superlative for him. And he kept insisting his name was something different every few days we don't actually remember his real name. Somehow the pictures of him escaped being labeled. I heard he had a special agreement with the teachers about this. I almost think he's like a postmodern performance artist or something. Very weird dude. Point is: you don't need violence to be feared. >A strong body emits a powerful radiance and because a strong body is intimidating, it demands respect. I mean sure, but it's easier for people to think you're not quite sane like in the pacifist example. See, he never hurt anyone, but his not flinching the punch and calm approach some of us thought he might lay a big one on him. He wasn't big or strong either. The psychological effect is a strong deterrent: we thought he really might leap off the edge of sanity and really brutalize him. One time he put on Nick Cave during a school dance. It's like, what are you even?

>>32143 That weird guy just sounds like an edgy otaku teen. Op learn MMA, I used to be bullied for a while but I always fought back and stood my ground. It got to a point where my bullies would only shout at me but where too scared to do anything physical because they knew I would hit them back. If you are fearful because they are 4 just follow one of the guys while they are going home, sucker punch him (throwing him quickly to the floor and kicking his face is a good idea) and beat him up. Don't hit his face that much, prioritize his stomach as that won't leave so many marks and will leave him hurting for a few days. For this to work you need to be determined, if you hesitate you will end up being beaten.

Do you know any other kids in your school who go/went through the same, lainon? Or just any silent, weird, socially recluded kids? If so, you should try talking to them and make friends through listening to eachothers' problems and feelings. Even if they're not in your grade. It is also important to keep a neutral image. Don't view yourself as inferior just because others treat you like soykaf, but at the same time not distancing yourself from others you barely know by dividing them in categories like "jock", "normal user", etc. like i sometimes used to do in HS. It's perfectly fine and healthy to view other people as assholes, but if you antagonize and hold grudges against them too much you will end up like "Incels" who still ruminate about "chads and stacies" well into their mid 20s. As bleak and contradictory as it might sound, MOST teenagers are assholes, or at least act like such. You just need to seek out the ones who aren't and be willing to understand and respect them while ignoring the rest. I can't really relate lot since i was friendless through my teenage years (except unrelated online friends from imageboards) and was never really bullied, but i was pretty socially inept and didn't know how to make friends, let alone understand their purpose to begin with. I used to believe the whole "most people are normal users" thing until i realized most people really only mask their personalities away from what's deemed "socially unacceptable" to fit in. It wasn't until like near graduation that i truly realized that some of my classmates were actually just as weird as me but simply better at hiding it.

>>31946 Sounds like a tough situation. The truth is, there is something that's part of you that is strong, that is valuable, that matters. Nobody can be here like you, or be like you period. Different traditions have different ways of saying this. For me it's easiest to say that you, like all of us, even like the bullies (advanced topic) were created in the image of God -- that God took part in our creation and knows our name and loves us. But there are plenty of other ways of conceptualizing it. You're part of a chain of billions of years of life; you're a uniquely conscious being that sees things and has experiences that no one has ever exactly had before. And so on. A big part of growing is connecting and being with that strong part of yourself and not the parts that got hurt or got bullied however many years ago.

>>31946 I was always a kid that was more reserved and quiet, and wasn't very popular as a result. I can't say I was treated like you were but I know how to improve. Like another lainon said you just sorta crack at one point, it becomes easier to make radical changes than it is to continue living life that way. I realized that my life became a lot better when I got more cocky and arrogant. It becomes a feedback loop as you give off confidence (which might be fake at first) and then the people around you validate that confidence. It took me a few years to sort of iron out the social kinks in my head. I think it helps to be able to see things objectively and to know the path forward through that. Never give up and just know that anything is possible if you put the effort in. You can grow and change, it just takes time

So, lainon ... I propose, as an alternative solution to your problem, that you don't mind acquiring qualities that serve others, this will make your inferiority complex even worse. I say this because I went through the same problem. You will not be able to maintain the constancy of the qualities you have acquired because a certain group you want to include is denying it, so you will end up fragmenting. You must develop as a person, exercising good virtues, for good friends to come.

There is no point in fighting the collective, but it’s not worth continuing. Therefore, it would be nice just not to intersect with those who brought you to such a life. There is no point in talking to these pubertal animals, so you just need to leave school and transfer to another, if possible. I'm 22 and I still see the same faces in my dreams, I still can't forget these names when they have already forgotten about me. But you know, life goes on and I'm not so much intimidated by people as before, and thanks to the Internet I have the opportunity to form my own circle of friends without unnecessary people. And I can console you with the fact that puberty is coming to an end and not a single adult will chase you as schoolchildren like to do. Life goes on, my friend, and there will be a chance to start a new life. Just don't let these people continue to influence your life, they don't deserve it. This is the conclusion I myself have come to and now I am just beginning to squeeze out my school years.

>>32212 This is a mature take. Just because some kids play sports doesn't mean they're terrible or jocky people. Sports is really just one of the few culturally acceptable autisms. Being open is the best way to go about things. Even if making new friends fails you at least gave it a shot.

Cut those fuarkking losers out of your life entirely when you can, or if you feel it is serious enough, call the police. There is always an end to that suffering if you keep your head up, as empty as that may sound, it is true. I was bullied throughout middle school by those same kinds of kids, and I tried to hard to impress them while not realizing they'd never accept me, and that I was just entertainment for them. I didn't realize they were actually bullying me until much later. Now they're all either wagies or dead.

>>31946 My life probably hasn't been as rough as yours, but I think that I kind of know how you feel. It's a long path to build up confidence and improve your self-esteem if you have been pushed to the bottom as a kid. Getting into university has helped me, I've met a lot of nice people there and I finally feel that I belong somewhere. But I still sometimes struggle and I think that people notice it. I'm also quite a weird person, or at least that's how I've felt for as long as I can remember, and I think it makes me offputting to many people, especially the biggest normal people. Just throwing my thoughts in here. What I have also realized is that many people don't really care about you being weird as much as you think they do. At least smart and mature people, that is.

>>32132 Holy soykaf this happened to me, some girl asked me out and I thought she was being mean (her friend was giggling) and I replied like a retard, well we were young so nothing lost.