Queer Lains: were you abused as a child?

Having experienced sexual abuse by both men and women, I think this definitely messed with my sexual development while growing up. Many of the transfolx I've spoken with have experienced some form of abuse, but it seems like a lot of them refuse to do much digging into the matter. If you were sexually abused as a child, do you believe this to have affected your attraction or identity? https://www.ovc.gov/pubs/forge/sexual_ch_e.html

Thankfully I can say no, which is lucky considering I went to catholic school and was quite involved in church before leaving... dodged a bullet there

>>14681 Same. I've recently learned that there was rampant, widespread abuse happening throughout our church, with active efforts from higher-ups to suppress knowledge of it. fuarrrking obscene.

Dad was a bit touchy(grabbed/touched my ass) as a kid and i came out a glitterboy. Why do you ask? I know all the soykaf about freud saying your childhood changes your romantic preferences, but i think the more impactful thing was my mother being a pushy asshole for most of my childhood. By the way why do you put an "x" at the end of "folks"? I've seen that a lot recently and I dont know why people do it.

>>14690 People have done that for decades. Folx, punx, thanx, etc...

One way of thinking is: Gets sexually abused -> becomes fuarrrked up in the head from the traumatic experience -> turns queer But I think the reality is closer to: Have sexual experience before orthodox ideas are forced as dogma -> rejects the idea that breaking sexual taboos makes you a lesser person -> becomes open to sexual experimentation BTW, what's that link supposed to be? I get pic related.

>>14690 >>14692 I've seen it used for latinx rather than the gendered version (latina/latino), so I think it might just be an extension of that? Not sure why you would use it for a word that wasn't genered to begin with, though.

>>14694 They block Tor, I was able to get to it through a Startpage proxy. It links to an article called "Sexual Assault: Chicken or Egg?"

>>14694 Being molested is now "breaking sexual taboos". Go join a religion if you want to push your ideology at the expense of children.

>>14695 glitterboy here, that's what I meant. I, too want to know why it's done

>>14703 As >>14695 said in spanish we are kinda pushing for a neutral case in words so some folk use the x as in latinx, other use the e as in latine. Now as OP used it in "transfolx", sounds unrelated, looks like a play on "folks".

>>14695 latinx is literally just something "politically correct" non spanish speakers made up because they think latinos is sexist it's a bastardization of the language. don't take it seriously.

>>14717 ive only heard spanish speakers advocate for it, of which there are a lot where I am. your personal opinion isnt universal and dont push yourself as some sort of universal thought in spanish speaking countries because you and the people around you see it as bastardization. i dont have an opinion on it, but it annoys me when people present themselves as a homogenous universal source of thought for their country. its especially fuarrrked because an outsider doesnt know the history or the culture of the country and language so people tend to eat it up. IE i know no spanish or why latinx is being used, but I can imagine your argument being about how latinos has always been known and understood as being gender neutral. from my outsider perspective who am I to know or judge, makes sense you must be right. and yet if I looked it up im sure id find an article written by somebody from a spanish speaking country about how the word much like "mankind" is based in a history that saw men as the only real players and movers in the world. I could be totally wrong about these arguments, its just an example of how I doubt your countrymen or fellow spanish speakers agree with you globally and its probably more just you and your friends. It is probably a minority that wants to use latinx, because its a recent movement and most movements start out as a minority. I dont know anyone who isnt "latinx" or doesnt speak spanish however who uses this word, including myself, for the pure reason of we dont know enough about it nor are in situations enough where we would use it. because we dont speak spanish. not sure if you are saying its not even spanish speakers because its convenient or if thats actually been your experience but it hasnt been mine and i dont get why that would be the case.

>>14720 also before you try to use the fact that i dont speak spanish against me and act outraged that I would pretend to know the situation. it isnt about knowing spanish. If I told you "oh most americans arent racist, thats just a small group that doesnt truly understand american values", can you see how meaningless that is on a multitude of levels. What you said boils down to "I think its a bastardization of the language" and yet thats not what you said nor implied. Even if what you said is true about it "literally" being invented by non spanish speakers, that still doesnt explain how its a bastardization.

>>14680 No. I saw my mom get the soykaf beat out of her every day for 7 years but I never was abused myself.

>>14722 That sounds really traumatic, maybe it could be seen as a form of abuse having to witness that.

>>14722 For sure. Just because you weren't the target doesn't mean you weren't harmed.

>>14680 >If you were sexually abused as a child, do you believe this to have affected your attraction or identity? Not at all.

Not sexually, just physically. Even then, I don't think it has anything to do with me being bi.

I've only had physical abuse, and I didn't grow up with my mom.I have detransitioned, but yes I used to think it was a result of my childhood. I'm still queer but now I think that it may just be the way I am and would have been with a bad childhood or not.

>>14697 I don't want to push anything. I was just answering OP with my opinion.

>>14680 Not until adulthood. >>14694 Many people are a little of column A, little of column B. I was sexually active from a fairly young age of my own accord and went through the second process you wrote. However, as I've gotten older, I've realized that some things that I did when I was younger affected my mind in ways that I wasn't cognisant of when I was doing them, and now I'm a bit fuarrrked up in the head like in your first process. Developmental psychology is a bitch, please play gentle with your own. >>14720 You have a level headed perspective and approach disagreements gracefully.

I was subjected to a couple instances of the ol' forcey fun-time when I was 8-9 years old. A man assault me, a boy, and later I had a bit of a hard time trying to extricate the feelings from one another--of whether I was bi because of (or at least influenced by) the trauma, of whether I was only perfomatively into women, et cetera. I'm basically fine now, and I've come to the conclusion that it's just a coincidence. I'm not attracted to anyone like that guy, nor do I enjoy with others the kinds of things he did. At all. Not even in a guilty pleasure way. And I had some feelings of attraction towards both sexes before it happened (at least in the confusing, not-quite-formed way a preadolescent boy can have). It did cause me to be unable to have a good cry until I was in my late twenties. He got excited from the crying. For the intervening years, it's not like I didn't want to cry--lots of times I desperately wanted to for various reasons as I went through life, related and unrelated. But it just wouldn't happen. It was like there was some switch that was turned off and I couldn't turn it back on. But aside from that, I don't believe it affected my sexuality too much. It may have made me more sexually reckless and jaded in my early life, since I pretty much lost the ability to lose my virginity in a normal way, and there wasn't much that was unfamiliar or frightening compared to that. It definitely made me very adamant against any kind of abuse in a relationship, whether committed by myself or others against me, or by friends against people in their lives. And it makes me 100% sure I can't have any children--don't want to bring one into this world, don't want to worry about a potential psychological time bomb in myself. Just going to steer clear.

>>14717 I've seen people use that construction for a variety of reasons.

Not sexually but emotionally.Religious discrimination from being trans/pan was probably the worst part.Once I transitioned then I was sexually assaulted multiple times.

I have not experienced any sexual abuse that I know of. I have very few memories of before my 16th year and I know I have been schooled in a private catholic high school (I was there for a special class for troubled and/or gifted students, not for the religion) where some shady stuff happened but I doubt I have been a victim since bad experiences are the things I remember in most detail, I'm practically sure I remember all bad things that happened to me. I was however raised in a very competitive family environment. Our father, my sister and I would compete to hold speech. It was impolite to interrupt someone so we were ready to pounce on a single pause in sentences. And to counter that, we would make run on sentences to leave no gaps. There were multiple strategies. I started diluting the substance of my speech so I would have some seconds while speaking useless words to think of my next sentence. My sister would fake migraines and keep telling me to speak softer because this allowed her an accepted way to interrupt me in the middle of a sentence. Our father would simply keep repeating the same sentence with little variations so he could keep on chaining words. I don't think this has anything to do with why I'm queer but I ended up typing it and it certainly fuarrrked up my brain and my vision of interpersonal relationships so yeah.

>>14850 That sounds maddening.

I was spanked a few times as a child, if you count that as abuse (I don't), but that's about it. Outside of that I had a very loving family. Also, my siblings were spanked too, but they're both straight. Homosexuality isn't a result of a singular thing. There's a ton of different, completely unrelated things that can happen to make a kid grow up to be gay, some of which happen in the womb. People want simple answers, but those don't really exist.

Yes I was abused by two different people. I don't care if it influenced me being this way or not as either way it was out of my control, I exist as a queer whether is was biological or environmental. It's plausible but what is done is done. [spoiler][/spoiler]

>>14850 This is on the fabric that reality's horrors build on. Thanks for being so perceptive and sharing this,.

>>14680 I'm trans and was abused as a child. I guess I'm no help.

I was bullied a fuarrrking lot in school, part of that obviously being the "ha ha you're a girl" stuff and now I'm trans. It's mere ancedote but a lot of the trans people I know have experienced something pretty traumatic in their past, from finding their dead mother after a suicide to molestation.

>>14864 As a trans person, I have to say, being trans is pretty illogical. But idrk. I know it's the way I feel and I can't change that, and I'm sure its the same for you. Cont

so this means that homosexuality is not a natural/normal thing?

I was. I’m sure it affected my sexual development, for a long time I was really anxious of doing anything sexual and I still sometimes dissociate while I’m intimate but I don’t believe that it is the cause of me being bi.

>>14868 >natural/normal normal is just what majority does -an outlier is not normal. Natural is whether it can occur by itself as in nature regardless of probability. It's natural occurring but not normal same way as albino kids among other examples.

>>14720 >and yet if I looked it up im sure id find an article written by somebody from a spanish speaking country about how the word much like "mankind" is based in a history that saw men as the only real players and movers in the world. "man" is merely short for "human", centuries ago, "woman" became, directly meaning inferior man, aiding masculin domination / femmenin subjugation. mankind = humankind. claiming that mankind != humankind is false. >of whether I was only perfomatively into women did you mean perfunctorily?

>>14873 If the room was "pitch black" then how could he even see where to put his hand? Was he using some kind of night vision? An infra-red camera? Was he able to see you though chakra with his telepathic third eye?

kek, mods are deleting stuff, because they can't deal with the fact that this therad is nothing but a made up bullshit

>>14879 or you cant deal with the fact that it isnt. have you ever tried assuming you are wrong and someone else is right rather than the other way around? you can learn a lot that way.

>>14880 I could ask you the exactly same thing.

>>14881 then yes I have. because ive posted that same thing in threads back on a different image board we all know and love just 3-4 years ago.

>>14883 to add on you also couldnt because im not doubting anyones experience here for the sake of having my experience or worldview feel validated. I dont doubt you dont believe anyone here.

>>14859 If I look at my father and sister it's more like the fabric marketing directors and community managers are cut from. It's only stressful as long as you try to be a good person or care to communicate with them.

>>14876 No, the term is perfomative. It has an important meaning when it comes to sexuality, and it's a fairly big part of constructivist theory. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Performativity