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I'm posting this here cause i literally have no one to talk to and didnt want to post it on 4chan cause i know this person uses it Basically i was part of a discord server with ~100 members however only <10 of us were chatting daily, i had known the admin and a mod for roughly 7 years, and was invited last august but only started up using discord again on NYE because i was excluded from everything irl and wanted people to talk to. I despite not knowing the rest of the server b4hand i got along with most of the server members and became relatively good friends with all but 2 of the other mods. I was talking to these guys daily for 4 months but still felt like an outsider which is why i never joined VC or intruded too much. I got in to an argument with a mod over some dumb soykaf and was just kicked, no direct warning or anything. Fast forward to today, ive heard nothing from them in 2 weeks and randomly the admin DM's me a tweet from Sarah Bonito (since we both liked KKB and thought she was cute). What does this mean and how do i respond, i know basically nothing about why or even who kicked me (but i dont think it was him since he was offline when it happened), is this his weird way of trying to remain friends? I dont want to join the server but i liked talking to some of the guys on there but im not close enough to DM them to talk and i really miss having people to talk to, id get like 2-3 @s in the server daily so its not like i was hated and clearly the admin doesnt hate me enough not want to talk anymore I just need some advice idk what to do, im so fuarrrking lonely i cant make keep friends irl or online

>>13822 I dislike giving advice in scenario's like these, because everyone besides you is out of the loop discussing your personal relationships. I wouldn't think much of being kicked, you can't truthfully substitute social contact with online interactions, but if it is that important to you (being a part of community, or knowing at least why you were kicked), why don't you go around asking those you feel comfortable talking with? To be honest, I couldn't be arsed to try and interpret if his DM meant this or that, mostly because no one besides you has the context and knowledge about the subtleties of your relationship to give an accurate answer that isn't accurate only by chance. If you aren't derezzed, try joining again to clear things up with those you want to be clear with. If the admin is honest with you, he can peek at the logs and tell you exactly who kicked you when. I'm not sure what led you to seek help on an imageboard about something as personal, relationship difficulties aren't solved cleanly by theorizing behind someone's back and possibly risking a misstep in your interpretation, leading to more problem's when you reinitiate contact. They are solved simply by interaction, it's the easiet and probably quickest way to get on the same wavelength. If interaction doesn't resolve these issues, the relationship might be broken beyond repair, or might not have been as developed as you thought in the first place. Just my 2 μBTC.

>>13822 the only advice i can give is: don't think of online chat partners as friends. they're chat partners and nothing more. even if you met irl a few times for fun, they still aren't friends. i'm talking from personal experience. i understand this kind of loneliness and i experience it myself daily. this is just my advice and maybe you think otherwise, but you shouldn't take all this irc and discord happenings seriously and shouldn't even call it a "relationship". just go back and chat if you want, if too much people turn against you then just leave and find another channel.

My experience with discord is that most admins are pretty trigger happy. Discord is a terrible ecosystem that fosters bad people, not to be rude personally but that is my experience which is why i am glad to have ditched it. Many rooms seem to have this "club" mentality, if you get on the foot of the wrong guy he starts a fight and everyone gets kicked out. I suggest you to try remaining in touch with people who you know well trough other means, email or matrix or anything else that seems suitable for your needs. Maybe try talking to the admins see if they unban you. In either case i suggest you to try make new friends elsewhere, online or offline, i know from experience how hard that can be, but you should keep trying to find a place that is right for you. Good luck and dont let things get to you.

>>13823 >say "I'm not sure what led you to seek help on an imageboard about something as personal" >proceeds to give helpful insight/advice Your response as well as the two others is exactly why i posted here, while obviously you guys cant tell me Excalibur whats going on, its still good for perspective. However i understand your issues Its really hard to keep the post concise while giving as much context as possible. I think i might just move on, i used to think that internet friends were no substitute for real friends but for those brief 4 months i really felt as if they were no different from my few irl friends (most irl friends are normal people i share no common interests with which is why internet friends seemed great with their diverse interests) but now i realize without that real connection and sharing irl experiences you cant form real bonds >>13825 sadly i think your right, thanks for the perspective >>13830 yeah that was my thought for a long time, i hated the hierarchical system of mods/admins it fosters a hostile environment where users just have significant powers over other members

>>13845 If you look for other channels to chat, i advise you to look into IRC. in my experience usually there's a better community there, and also it's software implementation is much better.(despite being a 30 years old protocol)

>>13846 sure, what software do you recommend?

>>13855 Do you mean irc clients? Hexchat is pretty good.

>>13855 >>13845 >>13822 based eva poster