Lost Family

It has been over three weeks since I talked to my brother on the phone, and over two weeks just through a simple text. I can't get a hold of him. I don't know anyone where he lives, I don't know anyone who he currently talks to/lives with, not even his girlfriend. He deleted his facebook and his e-mail no longer works. This is very unusual and I'm a little worried, but I feel that it might be because he is mad at me for some reason. He has been pretty stressed out and busy for the past year or so, but that alone never kept him from not having contact with me. He knows that I don't speak to our father anymore due to his selfish behaviors and horrible abuse that he was never sorry for, and my brother did not understand the reasoning behind my choice to not see my father for several months, even for the holidays. When my brother came over, there were times when we got along, but I could tell that something was off about him. The last calls that we had were a little weird, too, but I have no idea why this is happening because we did not get into a serious argument. I am worried about him, but oddly enough this has given me a lot of opportunity to reflect on my life and the world around me, because outside of him I only talk to perhaps two people on a regular basis. Every year, the number of people that I talk to decreases and it has now gotten to the point that if I don't have any reason to go outside, I simply don't. I can stay indoors for days, and I love it. It is strange, because I start to realize things about myself and have thoughts that I would never have outside of prolonged solitude, and I remember mental images and memories from several years ago. It is like a vision quest, in a way, and I am addicted to it, to a certain extent. Oddly, most people are driven nuts by staying indoors for even a day, and I never understood that. The scariest thought about all of this, I guess, is that maybe I simply can let my brother go? Given that perhaps he is doing this on purpose? I mean, I do care about him, but what can I do? I have never heard anything like this happening to anyone, ever. It is just strange to have no contact with your family, and almost not care.

I think different people have different tolerances for social interaction and that's okay. If it was causing you some harm or preventing you from taking care of yourself than I would think about addressing it. As for your brother, if you're worried he's hurt or worse, maybe try and contact people he knows. You said you don't get along with your dad, but maybe you can just contact him to see if your bro is alright.

>>12558 Yeah, it is strange to find out that solitude does not affect me negatively at all. For most people, it does. I feel that this is because when I was younger, I did not have very positive social connections (or at least not very meaningful ones) at all. Looking back, I only had maybe two friends who I was able to talk to for hours and confide a lot of personal information with them. The past couple of years have been the only time that I've ever been able to have real alone time; I pretty much always had to deal with roommates or very abusive/pushy/nosy family members beforehand. The odd thing about my father is that despite the fact that my brother is still loyal to him and wants to be close to him, my father virtually never contacts anyone for several months despite having all the time in the world! This is ironic given that part of the reason why my father blew up at me last time I talked to him was because I didn't talk to him enough. For instance, I found out that he doesn't even contact his own sisters except maybe once every six months or so; he also never spends any time or holidays with them. Growing up, he usually kept us away from our extended family despite close proximity; I feel that this was because he wouldn't had been the center of attention during those times. As such, I barely know my cousins or aunts as much as I should; I really only ever hear from one aunt. But yeah, even if my brother did disappear, my father likely wouldn't know anything, and probably wouldn't care all that much. As far as I know, my brother doesn't have any debt to pay to someone, and isn't an addict, so perhaps he is just stressed out. He did mention that he was tense when he was over a little over a month ago, but I don't know what that was about. When I asked him if there was something that he wasn't telling me, he denied it. Perhaps, but this is still strange.