Getting rid of sexual desire

I feel like sex occupies most of my thoughts. I can't get rid of them, and I'm also addicted to masturbation/porn. If I'm walking down the street in a big city, all I can do is see other girls and hope they show any interest in me, like staring back or smiling. This is starting to bother me a little too much. Maybe it has to do with my social incapability of getting laid but even when I had semi regular sex it still happened. Anyone on the same boat?

I have a few unethical fetishes as well which I obviously won't ever do in real life. This also frustrates me to no avail.

Find a hobby to do beside of videogames which requires physical movement not like lifting weight or any sports that make you feel unsecure Like in my case I like walking a lot and do "exploration" and playing chess against the computer and soon I will start practicing archery Your mind will be too busy in other stuff instead thinking of new fetishes to imagine with other girls you see in the street

Transmutate that sexual energy into other energies by abstaining from mastrubation, having possitive social interactions with other peers or people of opposite sex whilst doing some kind of common activity and generally being in the present and now

>>4726 Haha, I am in very similiar position man. It gets horriby frustrating sometimes. I also can't transmutate this energy into anything else.

Maybe start a timer when you begin watching porn? Knowing how much time I'm wasting on usless activities sometimes helps motivate me to start doing what I could've been using that time for but wasn't because it requres effort to start.

Meditation and a habit changing. I practice mindfulness every day, i started with 5 minutes and added more 5 each month until reach 30 minutes daily, one year doing this make me feel much more in control of my desires not only for sex but procastination, food cravings, anger, anxiety in general... off course that those "dark thoughts" still arise and the natural body necessity sometimes appear as a morning erection but the daily struggle is much more easy with meditation together with technics to eliminate bad habits (that comes easy with meditation). I have hope that one day i will conquer lust completly. (sry for my english)

>>4739 Is it because after much meditation you are able to block thoughts?

I have a pretty high libido too. I limit my masturbation to once a day to try and limit this. I tend to creepily kind of stare at people too, not out of sexual desire but because I have very little human contact and I want intimacy a lot more than I want sex.

>>4743 Yes, but the frequency of these thoughts are lower too, is like your mind was more peaceful, you see de bad ideas coming and you have more resilience to resist, easier to dissolve them. Of course if a beatiful women with hot yoga pants is near you would need more effort but is doable compared with the old me that would struggle to avoid a erection lol.

Don't feel bad OP. Unlike quite a few things, the strong desire for sex isn't exactly easy to change. A lot of it is tied directly to hormones, so to some extent, for at least the foreseeable future, thinking about it a lot isn't going to go away. There is a large movement of people that are trying things like no-fap or similar futile goals. The problem isn't that you masturbate or have sexual thoughts frequently, it's that you have a sort of addiction as you said. Masturbation is totally normal and even healthy, but overdoing it is bad. If you start trying to limit it to once a day, and then De-escalate from that, you'll be heading in the right direction. I also find that being more socially active, hanging out with friends, just being in public, decreases such urges tenfold. Like, breaks from uni are the moment I relapse if any because I don't get out nearly as much. The advice to re-alocate your time to worthwile endeavours is also good, having other goals in your life focuses you away from sex.

This is pretty easy imo. Lemme ask you a question, would you want to do meaningful bonding activities such as: forming a group to hike across and explore a mountain range, or getting a group together to mutually research a very important actionable topic or honing a skill, or getting a group together to resist corrupt politicians really starting to fuarrrk things up in your community with a person you though was incompetent, shallow, lacking in necessary knowledge, vain and self centered? Would you even try to undertake any of those large projects with someone you couldn't really have a deep intellectual discussion with, with someone who lacked the ability to plan, and foresee problems before they occur? Would you undertake any of those daunting projects that require a large degree of clear communication, a loyal bond to the other members, looking out for the interest of the group before your own, with poor flaky people as previously mentioned? Oh, so you're saying that you wouldn't commit to a large project where you have to work with kind of soykafty people like that? Why is sex any different, man? Even if you are just fuarrrk buddies, that involves maintaining a somewhat intricate social relationship. The same level of competency you expect out of what you would consider a good friend or colleague, is the same level of competency you need to expect with ANYONE you have a intricate relationship with. If you make an exception for a nice pair of titties, you are only hurting your own developmental progress, opening yourself up to being taken advantage of, and simultaneously spreading a toxic world view, one that women need only be pretty and sexy to thrive. I'm not saying all women have the negative personality traits I described, but I am saying that if you apply the same standard of competency, and reasonability you do on deciding which friends and co workers you can trust and work with, to women, the number of fish in the sea is largely reduced. If you wouldn't trust someone to help you out with a intimate personal problem, don't trust them with sexual intimacy, to do so is folly.

>>4811 Yup, you are absolutely wright. Loving one's beloved is as sacred as worshipping the Almighty.

>>4812 >tfw cannot tell if this is sarcasm or genuine

>>4812 This's a man who knows the truth.

Starting an SSRI will likely bulldoze over your sex drive entirely.

>>4826 Maybe, maybe not. I used SSRI-based antidepressants for two years. I kept my sex drive but I wasn't able to reach orgasm or to maintain an errection. Gladly, all dysfunctions reverted when I discontinued the meds.

>>4818 Social constructs are social constructs Your ideology is false

Can we chill out a little? I'd like to point something I notices when I was working on the USA; most people were indeed unable to cope with the concept of having friends of the opposite sex. They always saw the other sex as a potential date, or one night stand. It felt really, really weird to me since I'm used to having mostly female friendships (I'm male.)

>>4854 You have female friends but you don't fuarrrk them? That's literally beta male behavior.

>>4858 One might also note that a male who is in with the females can greatly influence the access of other males to those females if the relationship is appropriately designed. Moreover, such an individual may simply be waiting for his pick of the litter and keeping a close eye on the egg basket so to speak. Benjamin Franklin once said, (paraphrased)"when given the choice between the young woman and the old, pick the old, for she has more experience and as all cats are gray in the dark, one will know the difference in terms of physicality."

>>4858 Uh.. no it isn't. Besides maybe he does have one girlfriend, how many do you need? You MRA types are getting dumber all the time.

>>4854 >female >friends You are basically a woman to them They see you as non-threatening, low testosterone male who doesn't compete in workforce and has no sexual prospects with them or their sexual marketplace competition You are like a child to them actually, women are much more ruthless to each other.

>>4864 >how much do you need >need At least 10 I want to create an empire of babies to take down a small town I need to spread my seed far and wide

>>4862 The epitome of cückhold behaviour

>>4880 I like you sir. You seem to have your soykaf together.

>>4864 I did have one until recently. We broke up but we stayed friends. WE speak almost daily, but I guess that won't be relevant for some people here. Just be kind to your fellow humans.

>>4880 Are you not afraid of a toddler coup d'etat?

>>4882 Thank you kind sir 14 words will reign true, believe me

>>4886 >14 words meme I disagree on that little bit there. But alas, I can do nothing to turn your course from where I stand. Best of luck on your long and painful road of despair. I reckon we all have our axes to grind.

>>4887 I see it as extended family with close enough genetics, that is what race means to me Just like most people care about their family a lot I care about my family and race Just the next logical step, right?

>>4854 >I'm used to having mostly female friendships (I'm male.) Go and check your t-levels mate before it's too late or you're just a soy beta, in this case you are done.

>>4854 Do you like talking about your shoes and purses together or what?

>>4897 >>4898 >>4899 Do you think maybe there's another reason women won't be your friend, besides the fact that you are a high testosterone demigod?

>>4908 >passive aggressive rhetorical question Seriously man, go look up your T levels.

>>4854 I'll try and put these other guys /r9k/ soykaf into actual explanation. Most people here just plain think women are boring. Many people here are very passionate about niche subjects, and in general these niches are male dominated, so in order to have meaningful interactions about these topics you generally need to talk to a male. Anime is a good example, in general, the women who are public about liking anime tend to enjoy more popular shows with basic concepts, and are more interested in side aspects like cosplay or collecting than the male demographic. It's the same with programing or cyberpunk literature or pretty much anything that's popular on lainchan. I don't think this is because women are inherently inferior or something like that, it's probably mostly due to social aspects but I'm not an expert so don't quote me on that. Because many people here do not share interests with the average woman, the only reason to talk to them is for reasons of sexual attraction. Therefore if you can "just be friends" with a woman, it's assumed that you also share the surface level nature of their views and interests. Now in reality, there are probably women out there who do have deeper knowledge of these subjects, but they choose not to reveal it because of the social stigma. Hope this makes sense.

>>4910 > Most people here Uh, speak for yourself? There are likely more women here than you think, maybe they just don't advertise the fact.

>>4912 >Grill Detected >WeeeWooh WeeWooh WeeWooh >everyone knows there are no grills on the internet Nice try! We see through your facade!

>>4908 Why do you want women as a friend in the first place? I'm 25 and yet to encounter a woman who thinks like a man in general that is why they differ from men. It's not like I don't interact with women, I only do in certain cases like it's work related or if I want to get in their pants other than this I don't see any reason to have their need in my daily life.

>>4910 Indeed, women are pretty boring from my experience. They act like fuarrrking 12 year children who thinks the world revolves around them. I think it's about time women should realize that they are not special anymore and deal with soykaf like a real human being instead of throwing tantrum and blaming everybody for their soykaf.

>>4931 Thats how it works for them and its not going to change unless most men turn gay.

>>4854 i don't think Americans will understand this concept. Like, they were raised in culture where opposite sex is for sex, not for befriending. You can see how alien it is for them, considering the replies. or american women are really that fuarrrking boring lel

>>4939 >generalizations based on country Bigoted

>>4940 guess it was mistake on my part. Shoul've been more like >based on what i've seen so far i think some americans won't understand this concept. I am from europe and while i've seen plenty of behavior like this. I am forced to think it's more prevalent in america, though i might be mistaken because this might be the case of vocal minority i might be also biased cause on my uni girls do know their soykaf. sometimes better sometimes worse. I study biotechnology if that means something

>>4942 > I study biotechnology if that means something It doesn't.

>>4942 You need to remove your country based stereotypes They are really problematic and somewhat racist

>>4942 Your university girls know stuff doesn't mean that they are men. What I am trying to say is men and women are different and they don't belong together unless both are performing some task or project together, see >>4930

>>4854 What would you call a relationship where the woman is both friend and wife?

>>4942 >I study biotechnology if that means something Simply studying something doesn't give you the authority to say respect me, show us your recent work(paper) then we'll believe.

>>4946 Your wife is your wife Your friends is your friend These two things are two different things Just like you don't want your children to be your friends (because you have to raise them and teach them about the world and give them strict rules) you don't want to have your wife be your friend fuarrrking your friends is a bad thing, don't you know?

>>4948 I'm done with your shenanigans. Here is some noble truth for you which will help you in future. You'll be parents to your children only for a certain age, then you've to act like their friend to teach them important lessons of life otherwise they'll gradually shut you down from their life. Women are grown up children and you can manipulate them any way you like. Women are just a gas that fills whatever social container you put them in.

>>4948 >fuarrrking your friends is a bad thing, don't you know? What if that friend is my wife?

>>4947 Based on the context, I don't think Lain was trying to say that because he studies biotech, he knows more. I believe he is referencing >>4910's idea that people here find women boring because women aren't interested in the same niches and aren't usually as in-depth with their interests as men are. There's no need to demand his identification. >>4928 Lain is a girl. We're all Lain. Therefore, we're all girls. >>4930 >Why do you want women as a friend in the first place? Women can be just as fun to hang out with as men and they're more understanding when talking about certain subjects. >>4854 You're right. I'm American, and that's certainly the prevalent idea here.

>>4951 >I don't think Lain was trying to say that because he studies biotech, he knows more. He definitely meant his colleagues(girls) study biotech and they knows more.

>>4951 >Lain is a girl. We're all Lain. Therefore, we're all girls. Hell no desu I'm a man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_gFF-z9OS8

>>4951 >Women can be just as fun to hang out with as men and they're more understanding when talking about certain subjects. I wonder what that would be? purse, clothes, sandals, makeup, periods

>>4942 Girls always "do better" at studying, it means they can follow simple pre-defined programs. It doesn't mean they can do non-trivial things or invent something. >inb4 sayxiss, I know a friend of a friend of my cousin who is like lirtully 9000 times better than u will ever get on her level u cis male scum

Women are fun to hang with until they hit puberty and get a boyfriend.

>>4939 I don't think this is a thing with American culture in general. Just the "internet nerd posting on imageboards" culture. r9k certainly didn't help.

>>4952 uh? it sounded like this? I meant it along >i speak about the people i know personally and so it happens people i know are at uni, so they might have more interesting topics to talk about

>>4954 Probably emotions He is their little sad pup and they are his substitute mothers

From the way y'all talk you might enjoy homosexuality.

>>4962 > y'all

>>4962 i do

>>4962 That is just plain homophobic comment trying to imply there is something wrong with homosexuality

>>4830 A social construct in of itself is not necessarily a spook, a sacred social construct is a spook. Also this whole thread is hilarious, when did Lainchan become the new r9k?

>>4969 >when did Lainchan become the new r9k? It always was Didn't you see all the "Let it out" threads and "waah I have life problems" c1rclejerks?

I know it takes work, but why not focus on getting better at getting laid? I know how difficult it can be. I'm 99 percent sure that I'm genuinely autistic. Interacting with people is without a doubt the most difficult and frustrating skill for me. The DSM IV diagnosis of aspergers fit me like a glove.I was a virgin until I was 23. And I didn't suddenly become a ladies man like some late bloomers do. There really was no "jump". It's a long hard process. But if I can improve then so can you.

>>4967 >neurosuggesting there is a "phobia"/fear of it. Only an evolutionary defect.

>>4984 Much like your erectile dysfunction then.

>>4985 You don't see me parading my "dysfunction" like it's "normal".

>>4748 /thread, find something to eat up enough time and propel you forward in life that you can't overdo sexual stuff. >>4854 yeah, I'm an ameri user and I'm watching relations between the genders break down because "men" here think women are either magic or demons, and women think men are demigods or barbarian devils. I grew up around male and female kids and I figured out pretty quickly there are differences but nobody is especially good or evil as a category. Everyone chimping out about the opposite sex in this thread is either brewing soykaf or doesn't actually understand the opposite sex. but what else can be expected of an aspie board like this, lol

>>4961 I know girls who study history, world religions, math, medicine, etc. your problem, and the problem of a lot of permavirgins on /hum is that you spend time you could be using to construct the social circles necessary to find interesting women complaining about how you can't find interesting women. does this remind you of anything? a certain gynocentric ideology, maybe?