Friendships

Hello. I'm a sad and lonely person. I'm searching for some friend that wants to talk to me. It's just a bit special what type of friend I want. I'm a NEET so naturally I have a large amount of time on my hands. I want to find some friend that can talk to me for the whole day and that every day (this is very important). Just imagine something like a chatbot. In return I also talk to you the whole day and I'm going to be a very good friend. Are there similar people to me or I'm the only one? Please also use this thread to find your perfect friend! I mean I don't want some friend that stops responding after one week or one that doesn't have the time for it! So only sent me an email if you can guarantee that. I want some "true" friendship, not some fake friendship. Let me explain what I mean with true friendship. I mean a friend that cares about me and I care about him. Not something "symbolic." I mean for example: Let's assume you have gf. The question is does she truly loves you? The most females are just interested in something "symbolic." I mean that she doesn't care deeply about you in most case. She has only a relationship with you because that's what everyone else does! So she can be considered as a normal human being in your society. She wouldn't kill herself for you, would she? If the answer is yes then it's no true love and the relationship between her and you is meaningless and only "symbolic." An other example would be a therapist. Maybe he would prescribe you some antidepressant, but do you know the side effects of that medicament? He only describes it to you because he makes money from it with his friends in the big pharma business. Or maybe he read it in a book. Anyways, in every case he doesn't care about you! That follows naturally from your society in which doctors are seen a saints, so naturally you trust the symbolic concept of "good doctor." Now I write about myself any my interests. I'm from Germany. I like mostly programming and tech. in general. Some of the programming languages I like are Python, Haskell, Rust and C. There are many more. I like the following animes: Lain, Texhnolyze, Kaiba, Legend of the Galactic Heroes, Ruroni Kenshin and Mushishi. I also like some retro point and click adventure, but I'm not that old. I just appreciate the atmosphere of some old games. I can also talk about mathematics. I particularly enjoy some type theories, in which dependent types are often a concept of. I also like FOSS software and the Free Software Movement. I won't use Discord. If you want to be my friend, write me an email to Neetposter@tuta.io Please use this thread to find new friends and discuss friendships!

Site thinks I'm spam so I copy pasted it and made a screenshot.

>>2764 Yes I may be very insane. I tried to make friends normally. They often stopped replying after some time. I talked to more that 30 People. They aren't that what I truly want. Besides, I can't be healed there is no cure for my "sickness" other than what I described. That means either I can find somebody similar to me or I won't. There must exist some people that are also similarly insane as I'm. Also I don't harm anybody. That's what I offer is a mutually agreement. I don't "force" anybody to be my friend! People hang out with one another, because they are also bored. If I had a GF I wouldn't want her to kill herself for me. But if she wouldn't do it theorethically then there wasn't any real love, because that would mean there is something more important than me. I must be ready to do the same for her, otherwise it wouldn't also be true love, but that's a bit different than a friendship. I don't try to distance people from other people. The only thing I do is to point out that there are many bad people that don't have your interest in their mind. Also I'm not forcing anybody. If someone want to be my friend, he knows what conditions I have and what things I can guarentee. I just want a bit more. I don't care what "friendships" mean in the "modern" world. I just described what kind of friend I want. Also I won't change myself, because that's what I'm. Either the other person accepts me or he won't.

/hum/ is not /soc/

I can relate to it and im very sure lots of others can too. However i cannot offer you what you seek, nor sadly do i think many others will do to. While i dont think what you look for is unrealistic, not at all i seen people do this myself, you need to be aware that you will need to be patient and not have too high expectations. If i may offer you advice, i think starting small and settling for casual group friendships first is a better approach, but nothing wrong with wanting it like you do, its just much harder from my experience. Best of luck to you.

>>2771 This. I was about to contact you because I live in Germany as well, but after reading through your post properly again I realized I didn't want to be the kind of "friend" you're unrealistically expecting random people on the internet to be.

>talk to me for the whole day and that every day (this is very important). This is a huge responsibility. I mean I would be down to meet and grab a drink every once in a while but being asocial and introverted, the idea of talking to someone all day every day gives me shakes.

If you're the same guy that started the last tox thread, I'm sorry I broke contact. I'm having problems with mental illness. Hope you are well.

>>2773 It's OK if you have don't have time for a day or even more days, but it should be the status quo for us to talk to every day. >>2774 Yeah I started the last Tox thread. What's your Tor name? I won't delete you!

>>2771 It may be unrealistic, but surely I can meet a person that meets my expectations on the internet. The problem with casual friendships is that I want it to eventually evolve into that what I described (if I like the other person, which isn't uncommon). >>2772 I hope you find an other person that's more to your liking. Also, I don't expect it from the most people, that's the reason why I'm crystal-clear with my description of perfect friendship. The only thing I do is hoping that someone contacts me and that it'll be the friendship I wanted!

>>2762 It sounds like you are trying to avoid all the hard work of building a relationship and jump straight to the finish line. Good luck.

i speak german too, add a chill dude on discord

>>2785 Do you mean me (the OP) or are you just asking generally? If you want to find people on Discord then you should post your name.

I can really understand what's your feeling and your wish to get "true" friend. But, OP, people always along. Although I do believe there's "true" friend but for most people it hard to happened. I was like you to make friend - even waste much money on it. But it's turn out to prove that they want to know only for money. And when you show no interesting to pay money they will never talk to you. Year ago, I liked a girl who is working in a bar. And then went to the bar very often. I spent much in that bar, but at last it looks like she is just a bar girl like others. I had her contacts, after she left the bar I send her message but never got reply. Yes I know I'm stupid, but that is a lesson in my life.

>>2762 >waaahhh i have no friends!!!!!! >to be my friend you need 2 talk 2 me everyday and have no other friends, only meee >your gf doesnt luv u, your therapist doesnt care abut u, only I do, your bestest best friend MEeee >also kill urself for me, if u dont ur not my friend

>>2788 Hello, just try talking to me. It doesn't cost you anything. I also reply to every email, so it wouldn't be a problem. I never stop talking to people. In most cases the other person stopped talking to me. So if you want to try it send me an email.

>>2788 I think its one of the sad facets of this fast placed way of living. I dont think however that is an unreasonable wish to have.

god speed anon

Don't fall in this trap, please. I very much regret having lost my time with internet friendships, people I will never know in real life... Please, don't do it. Accept your loneliness or try to make real friends, but don't make virtual friends, it's waste of time and energy... Unless they live near you.

>>2857 Maybe thats because you were talking to the wrong kind of people...

Connection don't work that easy over the internet. That's why irc and imageboards are still popuar. You can lurk. With tox, you have to add someone and then the relationship feels like something you have to maintain. With irc you just share thoughts with random people until something clicks and you realise you like to communicate with someone. Your best chance is to wait for riot to get popular and have a non-electron based application with encryption.

Hey man, feel free to chat with me anytime. iwakura457@tuta.io

Your idea of what a gf provides for someone or what regular relationships are like is false. Im surprised you don't realize this, your a fuarrrking neet. Be honest, you have no idea what kind of relationships other people have, you don't have any idea of what havibg a friend even means. You want a pet basically. Your pathetic. Why would anyone want to be your friend, you have no experience. You probably act 5 years younger than whatever age you are because instead of facing the world you hid. I'd suggest you start pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and maybe in 3-10 years someone will want to be your friend.

>>2934 Hey, I sent you an email. I hope you are there!

>>2939 In defense of NEETs, the best relationships I ever had were when both partners were NEETs. Assuming there is some source of money (welfare, inheritance, scams) all you do is drink and fuarrrk, make food together, talk all night. These situations don't last forever though.

OP here, I don't know if I succeeded or totally failed. Maybe a person is interested in how it went the last months. I'm feeling terrible, why can't I be normal. I don't even know why I'm depressed. I literally have anything I want, I have enough money, enough HW, enough food, enough too drink and even to my own astonishment, friends. Yeah, in the last months many people contacted me, I've made a similar thread on a certain other IB and there it went well. And there's even some person that I'd consider to be able to be my true friend, but I need more time to find out if I'm also suitable to be his true friend, I think a year would be a reasonable start. I'm writing this text for many reasons, but one important reason is that I want people to know that there are people out there that can form a deep kind of friendship! But nevertheless I'm still feeling alienated from other humans as they seem just totally strange and unknown to me. I think it's the opposite, I'm the strange person that's alien to other people. It just seems I can't be human. My thought seem more random every day, I think I'm going insane, but I was already insane from the start.... I don't want self-pity, I've made this post also for the reason that people may find it interesting what I think, so I'm writing to the best of my ability to describe my mood in somewhat coherent words. Ooh, how I was I had the ability to maladaptive-daydream, it must be very nice for the people, or they might consider it as a horrible nightmare. I wish I could just dream the whole day then I'd not have any worries and the world would be literally perfect. Everything would be perfect. But for me the world seems most of the time either totally grey or totally maniacally-bright and fun. Are there some people similar in this aspect? I just wish I could be a more stable person, as I'm basically too unstable to function normally. Also, I wanted to let people know that there mightn't be even a source for depression in certain kinds of people, because I can't see a clear reason in myself why I'm currently feeling down. Are there any people with tulpas here? No, I don't want to create a tulpa. I'm just asking because I'm interested on how other people (with tulpas) view it! I don't even know if I should post this on some other IBs, as it might be more appropriate for it. People with tulpas, would you consider your tulpa a true friend, as I defined it in the first post or is it something even deeper or maybe something more shallow? How are you all escaping the cruel world? Or maybe you all consider the world a bright place to be, maybe somewhat more realistically viewed as a neither bright nor totally cruel, just evolution in itself. I may write about my friendship a bit in the coming days, if people are interested to hear it and he's OK with it.

>>3837 >>3837 Go to bed, Tsuki.

>>3838 Why would you think that I'd be Tsuki?

>Rurouni Kenshin >Mushishi I like your taste, but sadly, I work a lot and I've tried to befriend lonely people from the Internet before. Longest one was with some lonely girl from some other state, then there was an Arab dude who was cool but I felt like soykaf when I couldn't keep chatting with him. I'm just posting to say good luck, anyone who enjoys Rurouni Kenshin is a cool dude(ette) in my book.

>>3840 >Longest one was with some lonely girl from some other state Why did you stop? Did you find out she's morbidly obese? >then there was an Arab dude Why would you ever do that?

Hope you get your friend OP, I am not the right one for the job, but best of luck!

>>3847 She got annoying actually. I wasn't looking for romance or anything but I was starting to wonder if she just really wanted some e-dick and snuggles. As far as the Arab dude, I only assume he was Arab due to this name from Skype. His name like something like Walid, we briefly chatted about current season anime and then we stopped talking. Seemed okay to me, but work got in the way.

OP here again, it seems it didn't work out that well. He's now very cold and emotionless, how can I be friends with such a person that cares so little about other people. I'm feeling terrible now, I can never find a true friend as other people seem so alien to me, why do they care so little? I wish it could be like in one of these animes. They interesting people in them, I wish I could be friends with them. How depressing living is. How boring living is, there's no purpose anymore. All I wanted was a person that cares about me and I care about him, but nothing superficial. A terrible feeling is that.

>>3950 Because your just a drain on other people, what can you do that deserves care, from behind a cold monitor. You aren't even a neutral figure, no a drain because you require attention all the time. People care about people they think are worth caring about. Nobody ows you anything, nor can you force someone to like you. The problem is inside you, accept it and try to better yourself or you can forever be a lonely neet growing more and more isolated and blaming others for your shortcomings. Even in your OP post you make some distinction between symbolic friendship and REAL friendship. You know nothing about friendship so maybe you should take some hints from other people and society instead of trying to work things through with this crackpot soykaf you cooked up in your head all by yourself alone with a lack of any social experience.

>>3951 >Because your just a drain on other people, what can you do that deserves care, from behind a cold monitor. You aren't even a neutral figure, no a drain because you require attention all the time. I've never said that I deserve anything. I might require attention, but I can give much attention in return. >People care about people they think are worth caring about. Nobody ows you anything, nor can you force someone to like you. The problem is inside you, accept it and try to better yourself or you can forever be a lonely neet growing more and more isolated and blaming others for your shortcomings. I know that nobody owes me anything, I just wanted to find a like-minded person, that's all. I haven't forced him to like me. I'm friendly and patient. I don't want to better myself, what does that even mean? In what way am I bad? I'll continue being NEET, but the loneliness is that I wish for to go away. I don't blame anyone. >Even in your OP post you make some distinction between symbolic friendship and REAL friendship. You know nothing about friendship so maybe you should take some hints from other people and society instead of trying to work things through with this crackpot soykaf you cooked up in your head all by yourself alone with a lack of any social experience. And you know even less. There's nothing about realness in society or people's opinion. That opinion was mine it might be false for you, but for me it's the only truth. I might not have any social experience or very much of it, but that isn't important. You sound very angry. The isolation might play a role, but there's nothing wrong that I've written.

>>3954 I'm angry you are upset this person left and implied they care very little about people because you have no right to say that. You care the least, and you don't even know it. If say you ended up finding someone and talking to them for a year, and then they ended up bettering themselves, your first thought would probably be worry. If they told you "Sorry I was hanging out with my friends today" you wouldn't be happy. Nothing good can come of any relationship you make. Real friendship is > than what you think friendship is, its more complex. And it is important that you have little experience, you take the equivalent of social drugs. Chatting online is a quick fix to the loneliness, not as satisfying of one but easier to obtain, hell you can obtain it just by asking online. Computer gives you everything you want, and now you want computer to give you friends. Even once you have your perma friend, youl still end up feeling lonely. Thats the sad thing, nothing will change. You probably will grow tired of that other person, and then you will understand why people stopped talking to you on some level. you will never have a friend that tries to help you out of the situation your in, something a real friend would do regardless if you thought you wanted it or not.

>>3956 >I'm angry you are upset this person left and implied they care very little about people because you have no right to say that. You care the least, and you don't even know it. If say you ended up finding someone and talking to them for a year, and then they ended up bettering themselves, your first thought would probably be worry. If they told you "Sorry I was hanging out with my friends today" you wouldn't be happy. Nothing good can come of any relationship you make. Stop with these assumptions, I've never said that he left me or I left him. He's just a bit cold, that's all. No, that isn't true, I'd understand if they would do something other sometimes, I just don't want it to be the status quo. >Even once you have your perma friend, youl still end up feeling lonely. Thats the sad thing, nothing will change. You probably will grow tired of that other person, and then you will understand why people stopped talking to you on some level. Why do you think that? Am I that bad of a person? Why do you think that I would grow tired of that other person?

Eh, what the hell? mimic.airmail.cc Any bored mothertruckers can email me, chat about anime, food, hot puss, whatever. That means you too OP, I work quite often and not always around but I'll actually brew some soykoffine with you.

>>3958 Sage because double post, but if you're from Lainchan, please put LAIN in the subject. Thank you.

>>3958 OP here, I'll write you an email tomorrow, let's see what happens.

Humanity or AttWhority?

>>2789 tsuki??? is that you?

>>3954 >I don't want to better myself, what does that even mean? In what way am I bad? As others have said in this thread, you come across as a touch selfish/proud. You might benifit from volunteering in your community, or doing some kind of community service. A small thing, but you could work on your communication skills also. If you can, it is better to say something in fewer words, as opposed to many.

>>3977 >As others have said in this thread, you come across as a touch selfish/proud. You might benifit from volunteering in your community, or doing some kind of community service. I don't want to do community work where I don't really care and like the most people. It's a waste of time. I'm not selfish as I would care about my friend. Can you explain in what way am I selfish? >A small thing, but you could work on your communication skills also. If you can, it is better to say something in fewer words, as opposed to many. I like the way I write. What's wrong with writing comprehensively? If you don't have the attention span to read a bit more text then maybe Twitter would be more to your liking.

>>3983 He's right you know. Also no, you talk too fuarrrking much. I could say the same thing in less words and it would be more powerful. I'm not him and I didn't even think about that but it's true. Elephant talk. Also this why? could you explain how? It's obvious you don't really care why, even if he explains why you just are going to keep saying why? Or keep repeating you will care about this friend that doesn't exist yet, as if that means anything. Gee I don't know why, guess im retarded and the neet knows more about communication and how he's perceived than I do. Maybe think about why and you will learn something, which I really think you know why and are trying to make some point which we will disagree on and nothing will change. Better you dwell on it (which you won't cause you aren't the problem the world is) and come up with the/an answer than me tell you and you just say no ur wrong.

>>3984 >It's obvious you don't really care why, even if he explains why you just are going to keep saying why? Or keep repeating you will care about this friend that doesn't exist yet, as if that means anything. You don't know anything about me, only these message I've posted here. You don't know me as a person. >Gee I don't know why, guess im retarded and the neet knows more about communication and how he's perceived than I do. Maybe think about why and you will learn something, which I really think you know why and are trying to make some point which we will disagree on and nothing will change. I've never said something like that. Sure you might have better communication skill, I don't care. The point of this thread also was to discuss friendships. Why would it matter if I'm a NEET? I have not chosen my life, it was dependent on factors outside of my control.

>>3992 >I have not chosen my life, it was dependent on factors outside of my control. That's not the way to think Hans. You can rebuild Germany by trying.

>>3992 Why is it that I can't figure out a bit of who you are from 10 or so posts that are fairly fuarrrking long? What makes you think that I don't know who you are? I know you well enough that even with the anonymous names I can pick out which poste are yours in this thread, so I actually do know SOMETHING about who you are. This is what I mean you can't take criticism. I am for a fact saying how you come across online, it doesn't matter if I know you. In the same way I could tell someone irl how they come across after just ten minutes of talking to them. They could say "You dont know me! You dont know who I am!", alright well enjoy continuing to appear to people as a self absorbed little immature soykafhead. Yeah I don't know you, despite your existence only being online as a neet probably. How do you suppose you know yourself? After all you can't even tell how you come across in a post evident by all the "why" questions. Its clear who you think you are and how you are perceived are two entirely different things, and il just say the person you think you are in your head is not more real than the one I am seeing. Not that this is you, but its the equivalent of some teenager always making dark brooding comments and talling about death and how hes sick and twizted. Then when somebody says "Hey can you stop you sound like an edgy immature soykafhead" he goes "YOU DONT KNOW ME". Actually the person calling him out does know him, the issue is the edgy teen isnt accurately evaluating how he comes across. Hes just stuck in his head thinking he sounds a certain way, but no one agrees. And in fact, if placed in a scary situation, this twisted straight up demon would run away, but he doesnt know that. He doesn't have enough life experience to know if his idea of himself actually would ever match up with his actions in the moment. just like you as a neet, lack life experience. If someone says "You come across like this" you do, for fact. It doesnt matter if you dont think they know you. To that person thats how you come across and its not something you can argue with, the fact that you think it is again shows a lack of something. All you can do is choose not to value that person and their opinion. However I see one other person in this thread saying the same soykaf i'm saying, and you know personally when multiple people tell me the same soykaf I start to at least worry. but not on an online imageboard, but my existence and main form of communicaation isnt mostly online. If it was though I might listen.

I'm a neet with no friends online or off and even I wouldn't want to be around you OP. I've always wondered how people make friends though.

>>4042 This brings up another point, OP you keep asking why would somebody be so cold? and similar questions. Most people I think realize at a certain point that being alone is better than being around certain people. That is, some people would take eternal loneliness over being stuck with a certain person who they don't like being around or with. This is also why I doubt it when you say "I'd never leave them or stop talking to them!". You don't know that, you are getting random anons to be your friend, for all you know you could be completely incompatible or dislike the person you find and then you would learn what I am saying yourself.

>>4042 What's so bad about me? >>4048 Oh, I'm not saying that we'll be compatible, I meant it like trying and seeing if it works. Maybe my personality is just not suitable...

Greetings. I am the online friend that OP mentioned. He sent me the thread and I am posting here with his knowledge. I'm not going into detail out of respect to him, but maybe someone might find my post interesting. There are many differences between us. I'm almost a wizard, a neet and have Assburgers, while OP is a lot younger. One thing I'd like others to be aware of when trying to befriend strangers on the internet is that even if you initially think you're like brothers because of some thread, you could be vastly different because of what wasn't mentioned. Lastly, every relationship needs time to develop, there's no fast lane for that.

Hey, OP, I'm Mimic, as in the guy who likes Detective Conan and stuff. I'm going to be a bit slower in my responses because my smartphone decided to crap itself and bootloop and my laptop also shat the bed. I'm down to my gaming computer, spare phone, and tablet. But I still have time to chat because it's winter and my hours got cut some more. I still would love to talk, so I'm working to get my airmail account on another device. Thanks.

>>4204 Sure, just write me again if you have fixed these problems. I have time and can wait.

>>2762 How old are you OP? I find that that's always something to mention. Anyway I need a good friend too. I noticed there's like 4 threads on this stuff up so it might need a designated thread. As for OP or someone else that wants to be friends feel free to reply to this comment if you're still following the thread. Might not be perfect, might not be forever (i too have had a lot of friendships that ended after a bit of distance was created) but i'm willing to give it a go.

>>4566 Oh and forgot to mention since timezones matter: Am Belgian.

add me on discord guys McBBC#7818, maybe we can be friends

>>4566 Hello, yeah I'm still reading the thread. Anyways I'm 20 years old. If you're still interested just send me an email. I would appreciate it if we could try it at least.

>>4569 >Discord what are you even doing here

>>4566 I hope you're still there, if you're reading this write me an email if you still want a friend.

OK, I think I see now what of a terrible person I am. What should I do? I'm feeling sad and I'm not able to fix it. Can anyone help me? Is it impossible?

>>4987 It's simple. Friendships based on just talking about random soykaf won't work. You need to work together on something with your firend. That can be a software project, animation, video, text, games, music... Just exchanging long paragraphs of text won't produce what you're trying to get.

>>4998 Yeah, nice idea. I'll make a thread soon.

Damn, I though I was on the thread about the guy from 4/co/ but this is a completely different guy, right? Why so many shut ins here.

>>5155 No, I'm not that guy from 4/co/ but is he like me? Is the thread there still active? I'm actually interested now.

>>4987 If you really do want to improve yourself: - Go outside more often, and talk to real life people more often. It's uncomfortable, especially at first, but it helps with oxytocin production. Try to be in/around nature at least once a week. - Produce something. It doesn't matter if it's a service (working in your community or getting a service job) or a good (woodworking, drawing/painting, meaningful programming) but production is in your nature, and will help you feel more balanced. - Talk to a therapist. Even if you don't think you have any neurodivergences, a therapist is useful for grounding yourself and getting external input. You're not a terrible person. You just seem a bit immature, which is a very easy thing to fix, if you do have the desire to fix it.

I'll be your friend, OP. Being a former effeminate loser, I have very little patience for weak soykaf. I will give you tough love constantly, including ridiculing for allowing the Germans to destroy your nation.

>k ikes -> Germans Yeah, this website is soykaf.

>>5477 If you're serious just write me an email. I'm interested in no matter what kind of person you are, you just need to be comfy to talk to.

Hey, OP do you like Gundam? I despise the commercial side of it but I find it a really interesting series. I made a tuta email and will email you as soon as it is validated.

>>5736 Hi, hm... I think it's nice, but I haven't watched much of Gundam, but usually I'm fond of mecha anime. Actually animes I really like are usually non-western in it's form. Let me explain, for example: Wolf's Rain, it's just unique and probably something like that couldn't exist in western media. Maybe I just like the "Japanese spirit" in some animes. Or GTO, it's a well-known anime, but still it's quite impressive how well-made it is and the atmosphere, everything works "harmonically together." BTW, do you like also SciFi anime? I kinda loved Legend of the Galactic Heroes, it's nice how they portray two people so different in character. Now, I drifted totally up from your initial question... Anyways, I also don't like the commercial site of anime, usually often good animes are well-hidden. Maybe that's also one of the reasons why anime is/was so great, because in the start and for many years it was mostly niche.

>>5736 Still interested or just busy? (I'm writing this because I haven't received an email and maybe it wasn't received, so I'm saying this just in case)

>>2762 I don't mind talking to you. But, is it a problem if I can talk frequently over the day, yet not continuously?

>>5737 I really like sci-fi in general, I tend to lean more towards written stories and 90s games than anime, but some of my favorite animes are sci-fi. I'm awaiting the email approval.

>>5746 No it isn't a problem, just write me an email and we'll see how it works out.

>>3837 Per my experience, you can be lonely even surrounded by people. Even if people you love and that love you back. I've heard the loneliness doesn't go away, but I doubt this is the case for most people.

>>4194 >even if you initially think you're like brothers because of some thread, you could be vastly different because of what wasn't mentioned This. Also another problem inherent to online relations is that, for the most part, you only see and learn about a person what they want you to and vice-versa

>>2762 It seems to me from your description that you're looking for someone to be your best friend OP. Someone who would be willing to sacrifice his life for you and you would be willing to sacrifice your life for him. I can completely understand such desire. But I'm afraid that such friendship can only start naturally, it can't be created artificially. Or maybe it can, but usually it doesn't. So I'm afraid that you go about it in a wrong way a little bit. It simply doesn't work like that - not usually anyway. But maybe I'm wrong and some of those friendships you have started here will eventually develop into such a strong relationship. There is always hope and things evolve and develop in unexpected ways all the time.

>>8227 Yeah, I sometimes feel like that. The situation worsened.... >>8228 That might be true, but you learn usually more about your friend as you go on, they often tell you things if they're comfortable with you. At least that's my experience. >>8276 Something like that, I think it's as you've described. But usually people don't want to go that far. >But I'm afraid that such friendship can only start naturally, it can't be created artificially. Or maybe it can, but usually it doesn't. I'd be OK if it would start naturally, but I feel pretty hopeless. Is there something I'm doing wrong? I'd be open to try with anyone and it's OK if it takes time. >But maybe I'm wrong and some of those friendships you have started here will eventually develop into such a strong relationship. There is always hope and things evolve and develop in unexpected ways all the time. Nope, most of the friendships died down sooner or later. But I found people who are almost like what I've wanted. There was this guy with a tulpa, I really miss him and I wish I could apologize and talk with him again. He seemed really comfy, but I did something stupid, not something I would have thought would have such a big impact. I'm pretty sad. Do you have any friend you could call your best friend? (That's it if you're still reading this thread and might see my post). There's also this other guy, not sure what he's going to do, but I wish he wouldn't be always so sensitive. I'm trying my best. It's always a big gamble how he reacts.....

>>8920 Sorry you haven't found what you're looking for. Don't give up. It's possible to find a true friend. You might be close to finding someone. Keep looking, even in impossible places. I found someone to be my friend. They're very special. No one else I've ever met is like them, such a good listener. Doesn't talk too much, but is always there for me. My friend is the most important thing in the world. I'd rather die than hurt them. [My friend, I'm sure you will read this. Hi! Love you, no matter what happens.]

>>2762 I'm actually from Germany, I will email you, hopefully we will get along but I am not compatible with many people unfortunately.

>>8922 Thanks, your friend sounds like a nice guy. >>8947 Nice, yeah, sometimes it's a bit hard to find compatible people. But trying is the best we can do, I guess.

Are there people here interested in a casual friend? Someone to send mail to from time to time? I am not the kind of people who is able to keep strong friendship like OP wants, I prefer to go way more slowly. Someone wants to chat a bit? If so, you can find me at rukako [at] cock [dot] li :)

>>9171 > casual friend? Okay, can call you Uako?

>>9173 Yes you can, that's cute af!

you are free to spam me if you want free amateur psychoanalysis zx@goat.si

Why am I being ignored by someone who supposedly cares about me? I don't understand. We are both lonely; I am his only friend and he is mine, though it feels like much more than that despite it being online. And yet he is ignoring me. This isn't the first time either. Earlier when he did at a time when I really needed someone to lean on I told him how much it hurt me and he felt really bad about it, going off about how he doesn't deserve to have someone as great as me in his life because he is never there for me. He often talks about how amazing of a person I am, how lucky he is to have met me, how much he cares about be (even though I always tell him that I don't feel like I am cared for by anyone, ever, and I just take his word for it), stuff like that. He says all that and yet here he is ignoring me again, I don't understand. Everytime he does it makes me question our relationship and it hurts to think that he doesn't care about me, but I can't help these thoughts. I never ignore him, even when I don't particularly feel like talking I either let him know that I'm not in the mood or talk to him because I feel an urge not to leave someone so important to me hanging. And yet here he is, leaving me hanging despite me being apparently so important to him. And I know for a fact that he is indeed ignoring me, because he is on his phone all day and isn't busy with anything. I really need someone right now and he isn't here for me, despite feeling so terrible about it a month back when he last ignored me in a time of need. I just don't understand why he's doing it. Of course I will ask him as soon as he replies, but it hurts so much right now that I have to make this post.

You are not Insane. The emergence of Society as we know it was something inevitable, it was because of Society that we guaranteed ourselves a future and a place on the top of the food chain, eventually our ancestors's brains evolved into something more and more complex and at the same time, this caused a more and more complex Society. Now here's when the culture appears, culture is just the combination of habits and beliefs that are inherited by generations, The culture appeared because of a complex Society. Culture is vital in human relationships, this dictates how individuals must behave, but not only that, The culture dictates what the individuals must hate, need, and even love, and these individuals sincerely hate and love those things they are not hypocritical, they do it because those are the values they were educated with. Most people which have assimilated a western culture would repudiate you, even some would diagnose as "insane", remember that those who were raised inside a society usually have "common" sense and a "normal" pattern of behaviour, which you apparently don't have. But I remind you that those values are convenient. Now I ask you, can you really claim that that need of having someone is really yours? and even if it's yours,is it worth it to change (not improve) in order to get some human contact?

>>9285 Maybe your friend is ashamed of his actions or otherwise not feeling well. Or maybe he just needs time for himself, who knows. You shouldnt jump to conclusions just because you have the feeling you are ignored. Also its unhealthy to obsess over one person so much, you should make some effort to make new friends, its difficult but it might help you if you try. Hang in there.

>>9290 >Maybe your friend is ashamed of his actions This is possible but then again he knows that I wouldn't get mad at him for anything that he tells me. We have a very close relationship and seek to be as honest with each other as possible, and as understanding of each other as we can. It doesn't matter. I was feeling like soykaf last but now I'm a little better. No point in trying to figure out someone's intentions when you can just ask them, right? I'll wait.

>>9285 You sound like you got some abandonment issues. Try checking that up.

Never listen to anyone saying things like "you have a syndrome/mental issues, get yourself checked", that's all bullsoykaf. It all comes from within you; this endless sprial of despair and self-loathing has consumed you entirely, blinding you from what is really happening around you and in the minds of those with you, and it looks like your friend has fallen into this seemingly endless hole as well. No amount of drugs or prayer can help you, only you yourself can. You need to relearn courage and strength and conquer all your fears, because in the end, the only thing you need is yourself. When you realise this, you will never fear again. As long as you are alive, there is nothing stopping you, and when you lived a life you were satisfied with, then neither is there anything in death. You will at times need to forget perfection and be satisfied with mediocrity, but you should never give up getting better! Turn your entire life up-side down. Go out for jogging, practise your voice and improvie your appearance (but never stop because you are scared, push forward!), and then go out greeting people and responding to small talk. Never feel embarassed, people who aren't embarrased do stupid and embarrasing things all the time, but no one ever cares about it because they aren't showing embarrasment. It might sound stupid, it might sound unfair, but this is how the world works: No one is equal and nothing is fair, you'll learn to accept this. Train your body, many people subconciously apply stereotypes to everything, and one of the most common and dangerous one is that either you are smart or strong, but the truth is that the healthier and stronger your body is, the faster and stronger your mind is. Most importantly, cut out your addictions, they suck your energy out of you and you overload your receptors to the point where you can't feel joy or sadness anymore. Join a club, get a hobby, or even two! Strive on projects and when you are stuck, seek for knowledge. The absolute worst you can do is to give up and fall down again. This might sound vague, and it will backfire with your desires and demons fighting back against you, but in the end, you will understand the feelings I am putting into these words, and you will know to understannd and to follow them as I have. The two most important things in friendship are honesty and patience, now go out there and help your friend and yourself get back up, you are the only one who can do it! Godspeed.

How do I make friends online, Lain? I finally surrendered to the Discord botnet, but I have no idea how what to do next. Do I just send a PM to a random member of a server? How do I proceed after the "hi"s and "how are you"s? Is it ok to PM them out of the blue? What kind of servers should I look for, and where do I find them? I am lonely and lost

>>9405 You just have to find places where people with common interests hang out. I got lots of net friends, but to be honest i dont know much more than this, it just happens naturally. Dont be afraid to make contact with people, thats what chats are for. Just try to get to know people. Good luck and even if it doesnt work at first, dont give up.

>>9405 OP here, if you wanna try then you can send me an email. Maybe that helps? I'm going to sleep now. Otherwise, maybe find IRC channels for things you're interested in? Good luck!

the idea of forming a relationship with someone, no matter how small completely online is offputting to me

>>9565 How could you say that Anon? I thought we had something special. Did our anonymous internet arguments really mean nothing to you?

>>9288 You are correct. Social norms are just a compromise between the norms of the individuals. There are obviously some individuals whose personal norms weigh more than others and so in a way shape society (think religion or generally any influential institutions or people), but that is largely irrelevant. The key thing is that whatever social norms are, they are external, and by submitting to them you are rejecting yourself (almost universally subconsciously) and accepting something that is not within you. This is what brainwashing is. >can you really claim that that need of having someone is really yours? More generally, can it be claimed that anything that anyone wants or feels that they need is really theirs? Rejecting everything external is ignorant and leads nowhere. What we must do in order to survive whilst remaining grounded with ourselves is to verify external influences before accepting them instead of categorically rejecting them (impossible) or accepting them (subjecting yourself to being brainwashed). We still have free will, or at least the illusion is powerful enough, so to change in order to get some human contact, or really achieve any goal, is possible whilst still remaining true to yourself. We have a degree of control over ourselves.

>>2861 All friendships are something that you have to maintain and put energy into.

I don't know many people, and it seems like when I make a new internet friend there's a 50/50 chance of me falling for them. I really wish I wasn't like this, it just leaves me feeling weird most of the time. I like talking to people, but I don't do it much and I get the feeling that it's better off that way given that I'm too much of an autist to initiate conversation most of the time.

Lain, try not to be so high maintenance (this goes to everyone, not only OP). And i don't mean that in the sense of being difficult to be with, in that sense i'm extremely high maintenance too. What i mean is: don't dump soykaf on others and expect them to eat it. "I need this this this and this from you" isn't a really cool point to start a friendship, you know? It sounds like you need distraction more than companionship. All complexity you have in your own brain, all your quirks and traumas, other people have it too, so try to view them as equally complex humans and not like bags to hold your soykaf. Nobody can hold your soykaf but yourself, if you want meaningful connections, you have to try to understand the other person first, don't create a person in your brain and expect reality to fit your imagination. If you don't do that, you're better off paying a psychiatrist, not finding a friend.

>>3950 OP you need to get a job or go to college or something. you need therapy

>>12322 Some good advice right here. Helps with day to day interactions a lot when you take this into account

>>12322 I want to clarify some things. When I wrote this I was a bit socially immature and I was uncertain about what I actually wanted, I had trouble describing it, for other people to see, to understand. My ideas since then have changed a bit, although they still remain the same in their core. Now let me respond by telling what I think, what you're saying seems reasonable to you, and it is. Though do you know why I did this the way I did. I wasn't because I wanted to force people to conform to my ideal or to make something artificial, it was simply because I wanted to be honest with people, what I'd like to have and because if I would just try to reach it naturally, it becomes incredibly harder because people would be unaware of, they would have different ideas of what they want. It becoming a medicore friendship. That's why I don't want to to go this route. Ideally I'd like to have a person who's sensitive, which I can trust with my feelings about things. Where I can talk about stuff, which doesn't respond with one sentence responses, one who goes into detail. If someone is interested I'll always be there and open to try with anybody who feels he thinks this could be a good idea or who want to see how it goes. I also fuarrrked sometimes up in the past, simply because I was a bit socially inept (due to lacking experience with people) and had a poor control of handling my feelings and emotions, they just swapped out like water, I'd love to share my feelings and emotions, something that's mutual. I know this requires trust in both sides, something which we hopefully can build with time when we work on it. I think there's a certain misunderstanding, or maybe I did think of it poorly when I wrote it. I was often at that time getting into ideas, saw the world often negative and was unbalanced. Now, what I wanted to say is that you shouldn't think of it as "I need this and this from you " but more "I would like to go in that direction with someone, do you think similarly? Do you feel that's something you'd like to try?" That was more the core idea, something that develops naturally while still knowing what the other person ideally wants. The reason I'm stating it so explicitly because people do have very different ideas about friendships. Some want just someone they can talk with after work, some want to talk about feelings a bit. Some just want to play games. Some just don't want to feel lonely anymore. Please also keep in mind that the post now is more than a year old. >>12328 See above.

a good doctor will know all the options and their caveats, is able to explain each option to you to the point where you understand it wholly, and is willing to sit with you as long as necessary for you to learn each option thoroughly to the point that you can make the decision yourself. not every patient will want such in depth control over their medical service. nevertheless, each doctor must be able and willing to do this. >don't make virtual friends are you a mind trapped in a brain whose only knowledge of 'external reality' is by chain reactions rooted in chaotic streams of configurations of nerve endings who somehow managed to make some sense of things, afraid your reality will crumble, causing the careful cosmos you created to collapse? let your fears end here. there's no way you can really know what is there beyond the edge of your mind, so why not just relax and enjoy your life in your virtual world, free from the hassle of the distinction between reality and fiction. everything is fake, but with the new state of the art Xistensism(r), your fictions come alive. sharing your >>4567 timezones< or location or >>4566 [age] is always< unnecessary and dangerous >exchanging [serious] long paragraphs of text produce intellectually interesting results >>5737 usually often good [western media] are well-hidden< because they are >>5737 mostly niche< causing mainstream to not care to much about them. have you seen the crap that's mainstream in japan? i agree on Serial Experiements Lain, Kaiba. Texnolyse, Ruroni Kenshin and Legend of the Galactic Heroes are too long for me, though seem interesting. that tends to be a fairly large problem with anime, that they seem that they would be very interesting if they were shorter. the vastness of our cultural fund is so large that it's impossible to get it all, and even if we were deathless, we create so much so fast that we cannot consume it all, it would just pile up. the upshot is that we can safely ignore everything ugly or unoriginal. listened you The Grand Vizier's Garden Party?