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I'm a 19 year old who is scared that he has no direction. Often people tell me that I should find my own but I am much more comfortable with people telling me to do. Is there any good books or words of advice I should look up to fix this issue

just try to hold out and have a good time for the next 10 or so years everything's actually finally all starting to fall apart after that it'll either be hell on earth or we'll finally get our soykaf together so there's really no sense in whoring yourself out or trying to build up anything in the meantime other than that, the only things i sort of regret are: wasting my time getting a degree, and not doing lsd sooner

>>2550 lel

>>2550 >everything's actually finally all starting to fall apart Dude I've been hearing this for the last 20-30 years or so. You're just a digital version of the hobbo with a "the end is neigh" sign. Get your soykaf together.

Growing up means that you don't have someone who tells you what to do. Of course you can force yourself into submission and become a wageslave. By now you should be able to figure out what you want to do. And if you're not, too bad. You need to find something. No choice.

read siddhartha still, i'm not gonna be unrealistic so i recommend you to search for things you can get paid and you like to do, or at least that doesn't bore you as much as other things, and then follow this provisory, not-definitive path

if you rely on other people to tell you what to do as an adult you're going to have a bad time

>>2553 Everything did fall apart in the last 20-30 years, there is hardly anything left

>>2549 Maybe you need to spend some time thinking about the expectations you have for yourself, do you sometimes feel that there's a potential you're not living up to? I think discovering that potential will help you along your journey a lot. I found my purpose when I was 22, I wish I had found it earlier, but now I'm glad I have a vision.

>>2606 I smile at night before going to sleep Do you? I will also fall asleep with a smile knowing you have a soykaf life

fix things, they don't have to be big. do you have enough money? no?: get a job yes?: good how are your family relations? bad?: figure out why, can you do anything about it? should you do anything about it? good?: good are you in school? no?: do you need to be in school? why would you not need to be? yes?: does it serve you well? why do you need be? do you have a hobby? no?: (anything counts, including brewing soykaf), think of something you'd want to do. yes?: find a way to combine it with social interaction (not necesarily smalltalk, (rather not actually, some people can do that and some just can't)) but anyone that can program can talk to others about their projects. are you satisfied by the way your room looks? no?: you live there, fix it. yes?: good, what about the rest of your house?, what about the other places you visit?

>>2553 > my fire alarm went off once but there was no fire so I'll be sure to ignore it the next time

>>2627 this might be a bit of a vent post but whatevs >do you have enough money no, i have a job and im getting a second one and trying to set up internships/ get a better job so i wont have to live with my grandma when my dad decides to move to Utah >how are your family relation? I hate my stepdad and he hates me, still keep in contact with my mom but besides that its pretty ok, dont see my siblings anymore since they are with him, we never got along anyways >are you in school? im 19 and im trying school but mostly bored, also my school blocked my account cuz im in too much debt because financial aid is like kicking dead whales down the beach and i barely make enough >do you have a hobby? anime, vidya, dnd, hookers, studying and jiu jitsu i go on /a/ sometimes and talk to other nerds about anime vidya and dnd. Hookers give me enough social interaction although its a bit expensive, studying is kinda boring so i dont do it as often, and i just started jiu jitsu >are you satisfied by the way your room looks? i live in the living room and its pretty ok

I can say a few things. you will literally end up homeless, a neet, or working a low paid job(s) and barely scraping by in your local ghetto if you do not direct yourself very soon. This is it you have arrived at the moment of choice. You better think deep and do some soul searching and pick something quick you want to do with your life and work at it. our society does not care even a little bit for people who dont know what they want. hell people dont care about that period. do people who dont know what they want ever get what they want. you can be a smartass and list someone who did but that wont change your situation.

>>2553 People have been saying it since the 60s. >>2646 >pick something quick you want to do with your life What if there just isn't anything? There's nothing I enjoy about life, and I'm too afraid to kill myself.

>>2649 You should try go to a social group of some sort. Even ones like those practicing public speaking groups. The more you interact with driven people IRL the more ideas you get for what you might like. If you aren't prepared to go out of your comfort zone to find something worthwhile doing you might as well just just abuse substances until you aren't afraid to kill yourself.

>>2649 People have been saying it for millennia. And it's been true every time. The world is constantly ending - We adapt and move on. The problem this time is the unprecedented speed and scale at which things are changing (sociopolitically, ecologically), well faster than our ability to adapt/cope. Like >>2550 said, it finally feels like we're approaching some sort of real event horizon - This stay the course thing is very soon here not going to be possible anymore. It's not like we'll all be wiped out this is the end aaaaa~ But anything you try to do for yourself right now that's based in/around the current failing system sort of feels futile.

Let me tell you a secret: most people don't know what they do even well into middle life. They follow the script, get a job, buy a house, get married and so on. Which isn't a bad thing for most people. As for your direction try to think of it in another way. There is a famous german saying wich roughly translates to "nothing comes from nothing". It means that you will have to put some effort or sacrifice in to get anything in life. You are 19 years old, you don't have to have your life planned out completely (which is a stupid idea anyway since the world around us is constantly changing). But try to find a rough direction and take a step. Since you are on this board i assume you will be inclined to do some kind of technical pursuit. There are a lot of possibilities, all of them come at a cost. Become a programmer or some kind of engineer? Enjoy years of studying before you can get your foot in the industry. Wanna do some technical blue collar work? Enjoy a lifetime of manual labor. And so on... i think you get the idea. Try to think not of the end result, but of the journey to it. Which journey is the one you want to embark on? Embrace the suck, but choose which one. Don't fall in love with the idea of being someone, fall in love with the process of becoming someone. Take a first step, you will have plenty of opportunity to change direction later on if you find out that it was a step in the wrong direction. Success comes after putting in the work. Another very important aspect especially in your position is money. You are fuarrrking 19 years old, why the fuarrrk are you still living at home? You are broke, still in school on a road to nowhere. Get your soykaf together, this is your first priority. In order to make it you have to survive first. See to your finances, so that you can at least support yourself until you get out on the other end as an established man. This is also a point to think about when you decide a direction. If you find something you enjoy becoming and that thing is making a soykafload of money then you are perfectly on the right way. Ignore your family situation for now, your priority number one is getting your finances together and getting the fuarrrk out of your parents house. Once you have some distance, family relations usually become a lot better due to less daily tension. As for your hobbies.... Keep up studying and the exercise (jiu jitsu), but drop the rest. They are just plain unhealthy and nonproductive, a luxury someone in your financial and personal position cannot afford. Use the time to research ways to make money, get a job, research possible carrears, personal finance, prepare for moving out etc. You have a lot to do, it won't get boring. Also, get your soykaf together and finish school with at least an "okay" result. If you want to go to college someday you will thank yourself for that.

>>2651 I agree with you in some extent. The world is changing at an unpreceded pace. I think a lot of the things wrong with the younger generation (high rate of depression/suicide, bad chances in the workplace etc.) is because of this. Their parents simply live in another world, but they still pass on their wisdom. But the world has changed so much during the time they were young that this wisdom does nothing more than set young people on the wrong path at the beginning of their life. Ignore your parents, use your own brain and think about things for a moment. Figure out how things work and suddenly the world is a less scary place. As for doing something for you: now is the right time. Especially during times of chaos someone who is able to withstand said chaos or even use/eliminate it is in a very good position to make something out him. Be the steady rock in the chaos, the demand is high and the payoff better than ever. Same in finance: the best time to invest is time of financial upheaval. Lowest entry cost, highest possible payoff, but also higher risk. But in the long (very long) run things usually tend to get better, even if there are local minima on the way.

>>2649 Then congrats you've already killed yourself as far as anyone or society or I am concerned. You do nothing and thats basically even less then what a dead person does. Mission accomplished so lets move on to other things. theres really nothing you enjoy? not even something simple like eating food or punching someone or having sex/fantasizing about having sex, or doing drugs. Like you can make a living out of all those things and its pretty pathetic but at least its something. People will judge you hard but unless your lying and you enjoy the unwarranted affection of others that shouldnt be an issue. If you do like that theres lots of stuff you can do, the skies the limit.

>>2609 If you live in a first world nation, you will se some pretty drastic changes in the next 20 years unless current theoretical technologies become reality (always possible) but many nations are approaching their absolute carrying capacity and are depleting natural resources at a rate faster than they can be replenished, the key one being human consumable quality water, if you think that that isn't a big deal, consider that most of the places already stressed by water will mathematically be lacking it to the extent of the nations no longer being habitable. you live a happy life knowing that you are nowhere near the suffering, but when it starts affecting those around you, you will not be able to stop human nature from reestablishing a Darwinistic system because of peoples drives to survive. I smile before going to sleep too, and I am thankful that I am alive, but the fact of the matter is, people will do what they need to to survive even if it means that tey will take what is yours by force. Several countries are already gearing up their militaries and are doing feasibility studies to determine the best strategic placement of troops for future resource wars and what equipment and tactics will be required. this is not some game, it is a statistical inevitability (unless magic future tech saves us in the next 30 years or so). >>2549 op, please dont feel scared, the world is only as bad as you make it, there is a trick to being positive, but the human spirit is very robust, focus on whats currently bothering you, and hen it no longer bothers you, focus on bigger things. I agree that Siddhartha is a good book to read at your age. Perhaps the bible or other religious texts if that's your thing. I also thought Heinlein's books starship troopers and beyond this horizon also deal very well with describing existentialist struggles and purpose in society. find your purpose and the rest will fall together

>>2659 for the record im not trying to be a dick this is just the advice that pushed me and you asked for words of wisdom. what im really trying to say is I think you probably do have something that would interest you it just seems out of reach. I dont really expect you to devote yourself to some weird fetish youtube channel or go shoenice mode and drink listerine. im just trying to make a point that these things probably seem below you right? it would only seem like that if you knew there was something better you could be doing. you haveny found what interests you but I urge you to hurry because im serious about the clock ticking down. Put yourself in as many uncomfortable weird situations as you have to. get drunk or take drugs if thats what you have to do just go out or work up courage and try new things. Eventually youl find something.

>>2669 *take drugs or drink if thats what you have to do to go out or work up courage.

>>2655 I forgot to mention that i live in an apartment with my dad and paying rent and since i dont talk to him that often he is more like a roommate. Anyways its cheaper to live with my dad cuz rent is only 100 dollars a month and i have food at the house. If he decides to move then i might move to my grandmas or move out altogether. Ive given up on living with my mom

Hope these help you as they helped me.

Try to read about different fields that you can work in and choose what is most interesting for you. I wish you the best of luck. :)

>>2863 The second book you shared is so beautiful, yet I've never heard about it before. Many thanks for sharing it lainon.

Do something that's on a schedule. If you don't want to go to school or get a job, do some volunteer work or just find some other place to go every day. It makes you think more clearly. If you like to be alone, I would recommend going to a park. Not one of those city parks, but a real park that's in the middle of the woods, if you can. Typically, there won't be a lot of people and you will be able to 1) gain a fresh experience, 2) get some non-strenuous physical activity, and 3) have some time that's completely to yourself, far away from computers or other people. I'm having trouble myself figuring out what direction I want to go in but I've found that doing these things have been improving my mood and letting me think more deeply about things. Hope it helps you too.

>>2627 underrated post I'm not OP but I might as well take the time to sort myself out. >do I have enough money not really, but I do have a job and I have enough saved for a big hobby-related purchase, so I'd say I'm doing better than I was in this regard. >how are my family relations improving with my parents, but my new stepmom and stepsister are basically still strangers to me, and I don't see my extended family often enough, but we're on good terms. >am I in school No, but I didn't do very well in college because I'm a horrible slacker. I have no idea if I can break into an actual CS job being self-taught/with certs or not, but at least it's cheaper than college and I really don't want lifelong debt. I have NO IDEA what to do in this area of my life, honestly. >do I have a hobby I have a few, but I'd like to start taking some of them more seriously. CS is kind of a cross between something fun and something that could be a potential career for me, but I also like to write and create fictional worlds. The thought of becoming a writer instead of a code monkey seems riskier to me, though, so I don't take it as seriously. >am I satisfied with the way my room looks fuarrrk no. after I post this I'm putting on some music and cleaning this soykaf up. My assorted hardware is in plastic bins, but I've got clothes and miscellaneous junk all over my floor, my desktop pc's guts are hanging out... it's not pretty, lainons.

fuarrrk i'm 19 and have no North i'm like you where the fuarrrk are we going

>>2627 this post is P good

>>3057 For some reason, this is the image that finally made me block 4chan

my best advice is, be weird. Be that weird friend. It means you're living life the way you want to.

>>3067 glad the two seconds I spent on startpage finding it helped you out bucko

You can't be told what direction to take and hope for any kind of fulfilling and self satisfying life. At best you will find it bearable but a grind. You need to find the path you want to take, yes I know you will have heard this many times before but it's true. You sound like you have no real ambition in life in which case you should not look at what career you want to follow but what lifestyle you want to live and how your career can facilitate that.

>>2549 it sounds like you don't have a good grasp on what it means to "find direction" in the first place. it's a personal thing, but i'll give you my take on it. think about the things that you like. could you tell me what you like about them if i put you on the spot? start with simple soykaf... tv shows, music. what is it about your favorite song that makes you like it so much? is it the honesty of the lyrics? an unconventional melody? both? take it a step further. why do you like honest lyrics? maybe you prefer raw expression to more refined sentiments. keep going. eventually the answer will be "i don't know why i like this". at that point, you can just stick the question in the back of your brain and ruminate on it for a while. make this process a habit. what you're doing here is developing good taste. through introspection, you are building a more nuanced understanding of your personal sense of aesthetics. why is this useful? because "i like anime" doesn't help you pick a career. here's an example: let's say you figure out that one thing you like about anime is the depiction of a foreign culture... maybe you also figure out that you like brewing soykaf on russian imageboards because you enjoy talking to people from a society that's different from your own... maybe those two things are related? perhaps you are interested in sociology? and you know what, "i like sociology" can help you pick a career.

You really shouldn't feel like you have your whole life sorted out at 19 anyway. The people who do are in for some unpleasant surprises when the world shows them that in fact they DON'T know everyhing.